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Forums / Long term support over the journey / Blue's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day (life viewed through the lens of depression)

Topic: Blue's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day (life viewed through the lens of depression)

  1. ecomama
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    21 January 2021 in reply to Blue's Clues

    Hey Blue and a wave to Croix lol...

    oh gosh I must be sleepy... just used the wrong keys and lost my post lol.
    Just woke up from a nap, picking up the kids from work soon. Can't wait for ONE of them to get a car!!

    Oh for sure 100% you have dogged determination!

    You wouldn't have nearly as much without it! Including mental and physical health!

    And your partner wouldn't have the angelic support he does without you. Because of you, I'm positive he'll recover as best he can, thinking of you both. Hugs x 2.

    Oh I HAVEN'T listened or watched any news at all for about 10 months. But I still hear snippets when the radio's on in the car lol. And from my kids....

    U.S. politics is something I try to avoid talking with my fiancee about.. like the PLAGUE.
    We nearly broke up over it last year.
    But last week he pressed me on it lol... and my parting words to his "Well WHO do you think would've made a better President?" I used to say this person or that... then said my DOG... but last week I said, oh they're all mental over there so it doesn't matter lol. It's one nutter or another so who cares.
    Then ended the call with a pleasant Goodbye and I love you.

    Now their entire national taxation system is in a mess too... oh how loverly lol.

    I'm grateful every single day that we live in Australia. It's not perfect by far! But what society is? None.

    My fiancee is a Trekker and every time we're together he says, "Okay baby would you like to give Star Trek another go?" I say "Sure baby, I could do with a nap" LOL... I'm asleep in less than 5 mins some times.
    Star Trek = nap time for me, so I LOVE it lol!

    I wanted to put a concept out there on your Financial thread Blue... if I remember then I will lol.

    Well it's official here, our area made the front page of a major city newspaper quoting the population explosion driving up the cost of living here. I think it esp meant HOUSING.
    Housing prices have skyrocketed.
    The pet food has gone up by 50-100% which is not pleasing.

    Oh well, there's no stopping "progress".

    Hugs to Puffballs too!

    Love EM

    2 people found this helpful
  2. Blue's Clues
    Blue's Clues avatar
    2299 posts
    24 January 2021 in reply to ecomama

    Hey EM,

    Oh damn, I hate it when that happens. Similar things happen when bird jumps on keyboard... I know to select and copy my posts regularly as I go! Any timeline on one of the offspring getting a car so you can sleep more?

    Can't argue with that, EM. Being a stubborn sod has its merits. I think a lot of people struggle with the big picture when they find out it's going to take many, many small steps over a long time to get where they are going. But look at any practical guide to a large goal and it won't give you a quick fix, be it for financial gain, weight loss, minimising, you name it. Always small, consistent steps. And I have done the work and seen the results, as I'm sure you have.

    Thanks for your kind words re my partner. Though I will attribute a lot of his recovery to him, too. He's certainly absent minded, but not unwilling to do the work he needs to - just needs a lot of reminding from me to stay on track. My thanks for hugs.

    I don't do news either. It's heavily biased and scaremongering, I'm not interested. I'll get headlines from a quick look online and hear bits from colleagues and family, that's enough for me. There's a guy at work that puts the news on every time he's on break. Same channel, same stories, over and over. I hate it so much.

    I really don't know how you cope with your partner being a Trump supporter. People like to say a person's politics don't matter and to avoid the topic, but political views are a statement of values, and supporting Trump... Well, I hate to say it, for your sake, but that's an extremely worrying statement about his values. Let's hope the whitewashing of American media and some serious misunderstandings about the truth are at the bottom of his thinking there, I can't reconcile his political leanings with the other things you've said about him.

    Yeah, Australia isn't perfect but I'll take being here over most other places in the world.

    That's heresy, EM! I love my Star Trek, always have. It's been such a groundbreaking series for tackling social issues - racism, genocide, war - and Next Gen, DS9 and Enterprise tackled stuff like gender identity and religious freedom. And there you are taking naps!

    I shall tootle off to the financial thread forthwith.

    Population explosion, eh? Is that because everyone's isolating with their partners and making babies? ;) The jump in cost of living isn't good, that's just bonkers. "Progress" indeed.

    Puffballs have asserted they would like treats instead. So demanding!


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  3. Emmy.
    Emmy. avatar
    1870 posts
    25 January 2021 in reply to Blue's Clues
    Just leaving a bunch of daisies here for you Blue x
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  4. ecomama
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    25 January 2021 in reply to Blue's Clues

    Hey Blue

    A used-to-be Trump supporter lol. I NEVER bring anything political up with BF now whatsoever. But he's courageous enough to.
    I shut it down.

    Oh BF would talk the leg off a chair explaining HOW he came to vote for Trump.
    I think it was mindless but that's just me (and possibly most of the rest of the world IDK lol).
    But Alexa of all ppl even saw some modicum of some things he did good for.
    Good, that was his JOB. Otherwise he's insane.

    Anyway lol... oh another Trekker hey? The last words at my dad's funeral by the Reverend were "Beam me up Scottie" lol. I never knew he was a fan.

    I'm not a fan of any Sci-Fi anything.

    I don't much like "entertainment" TV either. I LOVE solving mysteries and puzzles in shows though and any crime solving stuff.

    I have enough Professional Devt Courses under my belt and weird scales to show my development using a McCarthey thingy... I think that's the woman's name and spelling for it. Can't remember... just remember the connection with McCarthyism and Witch Hunting which I'm all too familiar with.

    Puffballs get treats?
    What are they?

    Our poodle has an array of treats here, bought by Alexa for him and her dog! SPOILT.

    OH YEAH the population explosion here is FOR REAL. I noticed it during Covid. Crazy times here on our roads. And Yvette even Googled the sale price of our car (Lord knows what gave her the idea to do that lol... funny thing she did) and years ago it was Valued at $5k via Google search for the purposes of Family Law.
    Sure I "look after it" BUT it's now worth, you wouldn't even be able to guess... it's ridiculous.... $12k. Yep. NUTS.

    Every time we get a huge financial boon in our family, I can't help but chuckle bec demon was such a money grabbing evil creature, would steal the kid's money & SO much other stuff.... it FINALLY disclosed it's car and we did same "Valuation process" for Family Law Court. It wanted it left off the property split as he bought it AFTER separation but wanted the increased value of the home included & never paid a cent to the mortgage ANY TIME.
    Can't have it BOTH ways.
    It said it was worth $8k but when googled it was worth $13k lol.

    It was included by the Judge lol. You know which finger I salute demon with in my mind & sometimes I do a HAPPY dance! lol.

    Anyway I'd NEVER be demon, not for a billion dollars. I'd never want to live with that psychopathically disturbed mind 24/7.

    So CHEERS!

    Love EM

    1 person found this helpful
  5. Blue's Clues
    Blue's Clues avatar
    2299 posts
    26 January 2021 in reply to Emmy.

    Thanks Emmy, the daisies are lovely. :)

    Long time no see, hope you're travelling okay.

  6. Blue's Clues
    Blue's Clues avatar
    2299 posts
    26 January 2021 in reply to ecomama

    Hey EM,

    Okay, past tense is better. Fair enough that you shut it down, you have enough mental baggage without adding the stress of the US political fiasco to it! I'm sure he has friends he can discuss that stuff with, you can sit that one out.

    Wait, Trump did something good? Probably by accident, even a broken clock is right twice a day, haha.

    Yep, love my Trek. Nice send-off for your dad, I'd be happy to have one like that.

    Horses for courses with our entertainment, I guess. I do like crime shows, though. Especially if they have a supernatural element to them, like X-Files. Sci-fi and fantasy, and also anime have been huge parts of my life, they take me out of the mundane and give me something creative to focus on. Used to write a bit in those genres back in the day, before I was working and no longer had time to scratch myself.

    Doesn't surprise me you've done a bunch of professional development courses. The name McCarthey rings a bell, if not in connection to witch hunting (that just made it a whole lot more interesting to me, haha).

    Of course puffballs get treats! Lately the primary treat has been watermelon. They're both loving it. Mr Feisty even ate some from my hand the other day, and he is not an eating from my hand kind of bird. Sir Pecks on the other hand (literally), loves being fed by hand. If he sees a treat, he squeaks and runs around on my hand until I open the container and give it to him, haha. So cute.

    Of course your pup has treats galore. You raised your kids to love animals, and surprise, your animals are getting all the love.

    Well, that's an eye opener. I've never known a used vehicle to go up in value, never mind by so much, unless it's a "classic". Mind you, I've never had a car younger than around 15 years old, so there's not much likelihood of value appreciation there.

    Can't say I'm surprised at your ex and his dumb shenanigans with court. Nor that you have a one finger salute for him re the judge's decision and whenever you have a financial boon now. My ex was certainly irresponsible with money, but I'm thankful I didn't have that level of crap to deal with. Mind you, I made a loss on the house I bought with him (at the time I thought we paid way too much, because he bought into a dodgy sob story when we tried to negotiate, the man was too soft and a huge sucker), so knowing the value of my current house is way up on what I paid is a feather in my decision-making cap.


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  7. Blue's Clues
    Blue's Clues avatar
    2299 posts
    29 January 2021 in reply to Blue's Clues

    Health update: two weeks on from getting the injection (by which time I was told any improvement that was going to happen should be happening), my shoulder remains worse than it was before the injection. I could clearly afford to be in worse shape, it really bloody helps.

    Aside from that, I would say my shoulder is the least of my worries. The fatigue continues to get worse and worse and worse. I have been working on the iron deficiency - loading up on any and all things I can think of that contain decent amounts of iron. Have learnt tofu, coconut milk and even prune juice have a lot more iron than I would have thought. Edamame, too. Including all more regularly in my meals, and being conscious of when I consume coffee, which reduces iron absorbtion. More blood tests soon. Anyway, it was a mild deficiency and I don't think responsible for this level of fatigue.

    Yesterday I was up for all of a few hours. The exhaustion was so heavy on me, and I had that gnawing hunger that comes with being overtired, so extremely I felt quite sick and food only settled it a bit for a handful of minutes. I went for a nap early evening, didn't end up getting up again until 11am, and even then still feeling pretty groggy. One appointment later and a few hours of not doing much, I am heading back to a similar state of exhaustion, just wanting to go back to bed. It's been bad for ages, but this is beyond, I really can't function. I was already at the point of straight to bed after any work shifts, a day of nothing before work to be halfway able to cope, a day of nothing after because I was too wiped out to function. Any appointments or social engagements couched with late sleep-ins and naps after. Quality of life is pretty much null and void at this point. I need this to stop.

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  8. ecomama
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    29 January 2021 in reply to Blue's Clues

    Oh dear NO Blue!

    I am SO SORRY to hear that things are worse with your shoulder and continuing fatigue grrrrr!
    Hate that!

    Not having our Blue, bluer.

    Re: your iron deficiency. We were vegetarians for years and Alexa was vegan. Low iron can cause awful stomach cramps and feelings of illness. Worse stuff that happened to Alexa.

    Anyway I picked ALL my vegetarian friend's brains, one's a Dr of Science and a medical researcher friend in similar fields. A lot of what they told me was cutting edge research not widely known at the time.
    The advice in a nutshell was to buy a box of liquid iron supplements that come in sachets from the Chemist. It's clear and tasteless.

    THEN to have this in orange juice at NIGHT when it's absorbed better.
    B12 came into the equation from recollection too?

    Indeed low iron can have awful effects. Alexa needed an iron infusion in hospital because of it.

    But I read you reduced coffee too, did you?

    I was ill for 2 days solid when I gave up coffee cold turkey (like full on vomiting). I had NO IDEA it was caffeine withdrawals. I only had max 4 cups per day back then 30y ago. It gave me breast lumps and I was advised to quit it altogether. The lumps went away.
    Don't drink it at all now.

    Could it be a mix of both making you feel so ill?

    Clearly your sleep will not be good quality with your shoulder pain. omg darling Blue, what next.

    Bursitis is so painful, my heart goes out to you.
    I thought my leg was broken when I had it in my hip down to my knee!
    I could barely walk, even with a walking stick. HORRIBLE.
    I got x-rays but nothing broken.
    In the end my Chiro was able to guide me what to do and it went away.
    He's holistic and sorry but being at the commencement of Court stuff, I can't remember what he told me to do! I know I followed what he said like a robot.
    No injections or major medical interventions like that... I'll ask him next time I see him. He can look back at my notes.

    Sending Healing energy to you.

    You WILL HEAL from all of this.

    Love always EM

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  9. Blue's Clues
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    2299 posts
    31 January 2021 in reply to ecomama

    Hey EM,

    Can't say I'm too happy about it, no. I have quite enough to deal with, without this crap.

    Yeah, I know iron is a thing to watch for vegetarians. My deficiency is very mild. Doctor actually advised against supplements on the basis that they could do more harm than good (can cause digestive issues) for the sake of something I could fix with adding a few more leafy greens to my diet. Honestly, I had been a bit slack with including enough green stuff in my meals with everything pulling at my already poor energy, hence starting to buy pre-cut veg to make it easier.

    Sorry to hear Alexa got so severely low in iron, sounds nasty. I had very depleted Vitamin D at one point - I think because I'd had a major depressive episode and was being a mushroom indoors too much, and that hit me like a tonne of bricks. Vitamin D tested fine this time though (as did my B Vitamins), and the iron isn't anywhere near low enough to be causing what I'm going through.

    Not reducing coffee, just mindful of when I have it. I don't have my most iron-rich meals in the morning when I have my coffee, I keep it mostly to lunch and dinner. As for coffee, I average 1-3 cups on any given day, and have for years. I'm surprised about breast lumps appearing in relation to coffee, that's weird. Anyway, I don't think iron or coffee are the problem.

    Actually, at rest my shoulder isn't so bad, rarely bad enough to make sleep difficult (the insomnia is thanks to my mind being too active). Working and driving are what make it flare up. I certainly don't have anything like the sort of pain you're talking about with your leg, but it still ain't fun. Probably wouldn't be silly to look up chiropractors.

    Saw the doc today, got yet another specialist referral for the fatigue. Imagine my joy. I don't have the energy for all these bloody appointments! Never mind the cost, my shiny new Health Care Card means nothing to specialists. He says the shoulder may have more going on with it, but would need an MRI on it (another huge out of pocket expense, almost a month's mortgage for me, so that's on the backburner). Failing that, try a second injection if no improvement still in a couple of weeks, as he said there is significant inflammation and the first may not have been enough to reduce it as much as it needed. This stuff is doing my head in, EM, I just wanna stop being sore and actually feel rested after I have slept.

    I hope you're right, I could do with some healing about now. Blarg!


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  10. ecomama
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    31 January 2021 in reply to Blue's Clues

    Oh dear Blue

    It's tough going through all that at once!

    I hope you get some solutions to it all very soon.

    It does do your head in, I totally get that!

    Yes all these things like Specialists and MRIs are all too expensive for us. I hoe they're worth it in the end, that's all.

    Better get on, have a HUGE day today. Doing Alexa's Celebratory dinner, for getting her new car today from the BIG CITY. Just an excuse really lol..

    Talk about GREENS omg I bought Asian Greens last night for tonight's dinner and the bags nearly take up a WHOLE shelf in the fridge

    I had a heap of fruit to take out thank goodness lol. It's ALL on the bench atm to cut up for school & work lunches for the next few days. Watermelon, an unrecognisable melon Alexa gave me lol, rockmelon, pomegranate, pineapple, grapes. Omg my chickens will LOVE me!

    I'll be glad for the prepped fruit for work. Far too much junk fed to us for all our meetings last week, my digestion was NOT happy. It was free and I didn't have to take any food last week, so not actually complaining lol.

    And I found some great stuff to chop and fry up to add to any leftover rice from tonight for my lunches.

    Yvette's taking those $1 packets of seaweed paper with cooked brown rice to school. She wraps the rice up and eats it for lunch. She is the blondest Asian food lover I've ever known lol.

    Good luck Blue!
    Hope things settle fast.
    Love EM

    2 people found this helpful
  11. Blue's Clues
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    2299 posts
    31 January 2021 in reply to ecomama

    Hey EM,

    It's a pain, that's for sure. I, likewise, hope for solutions sooner rather than later. I know you've had your own medical stuff to deal with and a lot of appointments and expense, too. You know what I'm dealing with. Gonna hold off on the MRI for now, it's a big cost I just can't absorb right now. A while after the refinance, maybe.

    Haha, nothing wrong with grabbing an excuse for a celebration. I think you and your family deserve a positive gathering together. Enjoy it!

    Oh nice. I love Asian greens, I use them a lot. Pity they don't come pre-cut, it would be a great help, I love making stir-fries and Thai curries with them.

    All the fruit sounds great. Curious about this melon you can't identify. Some new ones that have been appearing at work are orange candy melon (like a cross between honeydew and rockmelon) and piel de sapo melon. I'm less familiar with that one, have sold it but haven't eaten it. Haha, yep, chickens will love you.

    I hear you about better food at work. There's often junk in the staff room at my work (and the hot cross buns are tempting, I admit), but I prefer to bring my own food to control my nutrition. And because I don't do communal food with randoms during a pandemic.

    Nice food prep there, for making the best of leftovers. I've done a lot of that. Admittedly failing somewhat on that front, thanks to the over-the-top fatigue.

    What's this about seaweed paper and brown rice? Are you talking nori sheets, or something else? I like the sound of it, anyway, and you've given me snack ideas. I chuckled at the "blondest Asian food lover". I'm not blonde, but super white and nerdy and love my Asian food, too. It's so good. If I can't get the energy to make sushi I may just bodgy up something like what Yvette's having for lunch, throw in some teriyaki tofu and cucumber, make a meal of it. I may be drooling a little just thinking of it, hehe.

    Thanks EM. Fingers crossed, eh? A lot of appointments and money to make it happen, I'm sure, but I'll get there. Still blarg!


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  12. ecomama
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    1 February 2021 in reply to Blue's Clues

    Gotta love "disappearing posts".

    Yep, it's Nori. She's got a snack container to put the rice in the bottom, and there's room in the top (she had avocado today), then a $1 Nori pack.
    She also takes popcorn and any coconut things too.
    She's been told for years that gluten is something she needs to avoid or cut down, so is avidly doing this more now, so I'm extremely happy with her making GOOD decisions for herself.

    Sure they came home with Maccas ice creams today! LOL!
    They're kids with their own money, all good.

    They LOVE having the car back from Alexa!
    This whole time "without convenience" was a VERY good situation for them to go through.
    They are such good kids. They caught buses or Ubers to & from work when I wasn't home, which was rare, but they took control & did what they had to do WITHOUT complaint.
    Very proud.

    Now to help one son get a car. The others won't need one, when he gets one. He works the most shifts, so has the most money. He pulled his belt in & saved almost $4k over the holidays! I said I would match what he wanted to spend on a car as a "loan". He has a "Supervisor Interview" for work this week, so will be getting a higher rate soon too.

    The melon was from someone's back yard and a bit weird tbh. I didn't like the taste. One child did so all good.

    Thankyou for saying we deserve a positive family celebration Blue, we really DO! It's so important after going through SO much trauma, for them to feel supported.
    Alexa was SO CHUFFED that the celebration was for HER! LOL! She didn't realise.

    Talk about things to work out. As she drove away from the owner's house, she felt a punch of GUILT in her gut! Guilt about EVERYTHING. Then even called herself "the black sheep" of the family... I was like WHAT???? 😮😮😮😮 YOU ARE NOT.

    There are NO black sheep in this family! I've never for a nano second thought that about ANY of my children. OMG. Told her that.

    Heck this Shep /demon stuff has gotten in deep. Yes that's for her C to work thru with her.

    I know FOR SURE you will work out the appts and any health issues!

    I'm changing Podiatrists, the last one was a pervert. I told BF all about what he said and did in our first appt and BF said "Yeah that's NOT good". Feeling my legs etc - ewww. I even asked the receptionist to leave the door open when I had to say "COME IN!" when she knocked, he didn't answer her. He closed it. Much more. Yuck feeling.

    Changing to a female one I HOPE lol.

    Love EM

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  13. Blue's Clues
    Blue's Clues avatar
    2299 posts
    3 February 2021 in reply to ecomama

    Hey EM,

    That old chestnut again, huh? So annoying.

    Nice, sounds good. I was inspired to have some "deconstructed sushi" after you mentioned what she was doing. I've missed sushi but haven't had the energy to make it (nor the money to buy it). Good middle ground. Glad Yvette is working on the dietary needs, reducing gluten. I did wonder briefly if gluten might be relevant to my fatigue, doc said nope, it would cause aenemia if that was relevant.

    Haha, back in the day that was me and my bro, too. We loved our Maccas ice-creams. Why wouldn't we use our newly acquired income for that?!

    I bet you love having your car back. That said, you're right that it was good for your offspring to have to deal with no convenience for a while. It's a test of problem solving and they aced it. And maybe soon yet another car in the family. Onward and upward.

    At least someone liked the weird melon, haha.

    That's the spirit, EM. You absolutely do deserve to celebrate. Great that Alexa was so happy it was for her, too. (I love that you said "chuffed", great word.)

    Not so good that she had an attack of the guilts after getting her car. As you say, thanks to the influence of certain parties, she has a lot to unpack and retrain her brain from. It's good for her that you could show such surprise at the idea of any of your children being "black sheep". I've sometimes entertained the idea of being the black sheep in my lot, I've diverged a lot from their paths, but objectively it's a silly idea.

    Oh dear, you initially sounded pretty positive about the podiatrist, sorry to hear he's turned out dodgy. Forgive me, whenever I hear the word "pervert" now, I think of that scene in Man Down with the guy who doesn't like perverts wailing on Dan. Maybe your podiatrist needs to meet that guy? Yeah, maybe a female one next time.

    I'm sure I'll work out the health stuff, EM, but so help me all the appointments and such are really wearing on me. The longer this drags on, the more I'm falling behind, failing to make phone calls, putting appointments off for extended periods. You know, I don't work more than two days in a row, but after each two days I'm absolutely ruined. I conked out for 15 hours last night, I still feel tired and not up to doing any of the stuff I have to do today.

    Had a bit of an episode the other day over just how overwhelming everything is right now. More about that on my PTSD thread, I don't have the energy to write it again. Struggling a lot at the moment.


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  14. ecomama
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    3 February 2021 in reply to Blue's Clues

    Hey Blue

    I'm sorry to hear you're really struggling atm, what the heck is going on?

    I know you spoke about triggers on your other thread. I didn't want to overwhelm you (more) so tried to really get you to think about back then and NOW.
    You may not feel any different to back then (esp when triggering), but when you put your rational lens on each part that's triggering you, every single thing is different.

    Blue YOU did ALL the right things in a very wrong situation.
    You did the utmost best you could do!

    I'm so proud of you disentangling yourself from that.
    It was HELL to go through, YES IT WAS!

    But you did it.
    You're on the other side of it now.... time to recover.

    We have one point to base our future upon and it's RIGHT NOW.
    Hugs, I know it's so hard.

    I want to give you a strategy I used to deal with all the appts I had to make.
    Got out my Diary and put THREE possible dates in it for Appt A.
    Sometimes weeks apart, it didn't matter but it was on MY terms in MY timing.

    Then on my day off I would block out one session of the day to make "calls" but even if it was only one then ALL GOOD.
    Spend the rest of the day as I chose.

    During the Courts it was NOTHING like that. I had to respond to everything in THEIR timing and I was being bombarded till late at night etc etc. Drafting & sending emails all night then up at dawn etc.

    AFTER Courts I did "my timing".

    YOU are in a "good place" because of your darned hard work. You and I both know it could have been a LOT worse!

    So this is YOUR life.
    Play it how you CHOOSE to play it.

    When I allowed myself to make just ONE call or check just ONE email on a set day off, stuff got done. Anxiety didn't rule my life. I DID.

    And if a call triggered me then I had the rest of the day to recover, garden, have a bath, cook, whatever.

    15h sleep in one night is a lot of need for rest!
    Anxiety / PTSD can really take it out of you, so you need the rest.

    You're healing, so let yourself heal. (Put the whip away).


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  15. Blue's Clues
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    2299 posts
    5 February 2021 in reply to ecomama

    Hey EM,

    Just a quick one tonight, I'm pretty worn down as usual. Pushed myself a bit to get the refinance moving along, I really just want to be done with that. Solar and such on the back burner for now.

    More blood tests today, had to fast for those, which really didn't help my fatigue. Treated myself to some sushi after. You'll be pleased, I also managed to grab myself a copy of Barefoot Investor - and an appointment diary. I decided to only write in pencil in there, so I don't feel like appointments are set in stone.

    I'll address the other stuff you said when I have more energy. Thanks for saying you're proud of me. :)


    1 person found this helpful
  16. Croix
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    Croix avatar
    11078 posts
    5 February 2021 in reply to Blue's Clues

    Dear Blue, with a wave to EM~

    This is unashamedly a post to point out reasons why anyone -you included - should be proud of you

    You have sorted out the things you can and can't control, and those you can you wring the last drop from, it's inspiring.

    Yu are the 'Character' type you mentioned earlier in your other thread -the type worth having.

    You have also got over the worst legacy of PTSD and abusive marriages and can love and be loved, isolation defeated

    I too am in the middle of a whole load of tests and am so tired too, I'm not going to go into why, all the time tests are being done the medical body does not know really the cause.

    I saw you mention the mind keeping you awake, unpleasant and particularly unhelpful ATM, I try Smiling Mind to become calm and break the chain of thoughts. It will work sometimes for me, enough to make it a worth while try.

    I'm glad you can find a comfortable position, or near so, my chair is mine and a blessing.

    If you cut out the inspirational quotes and the sugar, some of Brené Brown's talks are worth a listen though I suspect too basic for you, you have moved on. They are scattered everywhere.

    If you want an inspirational quote look no further than Oscar Wild's

    “I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.”

    As you see I take them seriously too:)

    Be well Blue

    You have my admiration

    A wave to the puffballs and the LM


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  17. ecomama
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    8 February 2021 in reply to Blue's Clues

    Hey Blue, big hugs!

    Hope you can get some top quality rest and some relaxation in there too.

    Oh Blue OFCOURSE I'm proud of you! I'm SO CHUFFED to KNOW YOU! Tickled pink in fact just because YOU'RE AWESOME lol.

    I'm proud of you for tackling the health issues and dealing over and over with appts. Yep, darned hard work scheduling and attending all these. (WELL DONE you too Croix! Hugs!)

    You may not know what I'm the most proud of you over.... leaving a DV relationship.
    It's one of the hardest things a person has to do.

    Then you dealt with the aftermath... to your bestest ability and came out the other side.

    I love how Croix said about you championing this too by finding love and a WORTHY partner.
    Yay. So true. That's beautiful.

    There's stacks to be proud of lol!

    WELL DONE YOU for buying a Diary! I think this'll really help space the timing of those "pressing" medical appointments.
    Crikeys Blue I'm down to only ONE extra appt per week and that's PLENTY!
    But it took a Diary to help me spread these out.

    Also I take phone appointments WHENEVER I CAN. Then I can be home with my slippers on. 😀
    My Counselling is always via phone now.

    Oh yeah the Blue is gonna be BAREFOOT! LOL! (Aww poodle is saying HI AUNTY BLUE! sniff sniff wag wag).

    Barefoot will give you WHAT to do and a "brief" reason why.
    The deeper reasons, we need to trust as he has 'the proof in the pudding', yeah sorry for the quote lol!
    (Btw we don't use his recommended pillows, we use our Chiros ones lol).

    Nice to hear you treated yourself with Sushi after the appt.
    DOING THIS really helps.

    Planning a NICE thing for ourselves after a yuck thing (even if it is necessary, it can still be yuck).

    I even put the best times of the day for ME, in the appts I ask for, whenever I can.
    For me this means I have at least ONE full day at home, appt free per week. Well you know what I mean, just doing what needs to be done for my family all day. Esp now I'm working full time.

    I hope the tests show anything with simple solutions!

    Love you lots!

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  18. Blue's Clues
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    2299 posts
    8 February 2021 in reply to Croix

    Hey Croix,

    I should get you to write my resumé, you sure make me sound good, haha. Seriously though, I appreciate the vote of confidence. It's funny to see myself described as inspiring. From where I stand I'm just really damn stubborn. I do think that can be a useful character trait when employed appropriately, though.

    Sorry you're going through the same madness with tests and no answers. It's exhausting and frustrating, as I'm sure you would agree.

    Yes, the old brain isn't always my friend at sleepy time. I did try Smiling Mind at one point. I think I found it a bit too hearts and flowers for me, my native cynicism undermined its good intentions. I sometimes have success with the guided meditations of Reuben Lowe, though, and will use either nature sounds or music (instrumental) to help me sleep. Again, sometimes works, sometimes doesn't.

    Lying down is comfortable. Most other positions at the moment, not so much. Shoulder has been really bad the last week or so. Enough so that I'm taking some sick days and have booked in a physio appointment. Sigh. Glad you have your chair, respite from pain is so important, I can see why physical pain can cause mental illness, it wears on you so quickly.

    I haven't watched any Brené Brown, but snippets from her talks come up a lot. On the basic side for me, yes, but (without the quotes and sugar) I've had pause for thought at a couple of the passages I've seen.

    Ha, good choice of quote.

    Thank you, Croix. As usual, you are doing great cheerleading everyone on (feel free to picture walrus with pompoms, it's sure entertaining me). Hope all the tests you're getting subjected to bring something useful to light, soon (as I hope the same for myself).

    Puffballs send a song.


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  19. Blue's Clues
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    2299 posts
    8 February 2021 in reply to ecomama

    Hey EM,

    I slept 12 hours between shifts this week-end. Felt slightly less tired for a while. Working on relaxation. Told my manager I need my next two shifts off to get my shoulder right, and they were all I had for the rest of the week. Now I'll have to fill that time with appointments, but at least it means swapping work for appointments instead of trying to manage both this week.

    Thank you, EM, that's glowing praise. And when you said "tickled pink" it put Ossie's song (from Daryl & Ossie fame) about being pink in my head. That made me smile. :)

    I've never been good with appointments, I have a bit of a mental roadblock with making phone calls (not anxiety, I just hate 'em and don't wanna!), and I hate the lead up to appointments, clock-watching and such - especially if I'm not sure how long it takes to get to the place I have to go. Ugh. Like Croix, I'm sure you know how frustrating all of that stuff is.

    Thanks for saying that, re leaving psycho. The DV situation was my first relationship, which made it all the harder. I had little concept of intimate human interaction, having barely socialised never mind dating or anything and had no faith in the idea of others treating me with any decency. I figured if I left I'd either remain alone or find someone as bad or worse. I concluded alone was better than getting dragged down to his level (honestly, it was what I was becoming that made me leave, that was what I couldn't stand - go figure).

    But yes, one mediocre and two downright traumatic "relationships" later, I found someone worthy. That definitely matters.

    Thanks. I'd been meaning to get a diary for ages. Your little nudge helped cement it as a priority, and I'm glad it did. I had all my appointments together in a big messy note in my phone, which isn't fun to untangle. Yep, one a week is more than enough, good on you for striking a balance with such a simple but useful aid. Can't do most of my appointments by phone. Counsellor is online, though. Glad you're planning "you" days.

    Yup, got Barefoot. More on that in the money thread. (Pats for poodle, and a treat.) As for pillows, I don't seem to get much out of the ones that are meant to be wonderful for you - we ended up getting $4 ones and they were far better than the $100 one we tried! I'd like to try a buckwheat one.

    Sushi was good. Sadly my post-work coffee is no go now, nearby café decided to be shut when I finish work every day, now. Jerks.

    We'll see about tests. Gotta have them, first.


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  20. ecomama
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    8 February 2021 in reply to Blue's Clues

    You are most welcome to that "praise" lol, it's more like holding a mirror up to what you have achieved Blue. Certainly no pithing in pockets hahaha.

    Yeah we don't know what we don't know when we don't know it.
    IF ONLY I'd "known" certain things.
    I was basically pressured into my first marriage under threat of mother disowning me.
    Plus the religious aspect of never living with someone before marriage etc.
    HENCE all the marriages lol! (There was ONE handsome Prince in between but he already had an overseas contract and I had one here so yeah and quite a few frogs that were actually toads).

    Done with the family now so I can do whatever I want.
    Marriage again but not for a long while and for other reasons.
    Mainly BF is a "marriage guy".
    Necessarily, immigration reasons.

    12h sleep when we're dealing with constant pain is completely fair in my books.
    Working on top! See, you must need that sleep.

    I'm glad you're taking time to see a physio.

    Yeah I can't stand making calls either lol. It's always a fuss. I sit there and block out 3 appt times ahead that suit me (better) and then make the call. Usually ONE matches. Then I delete the other 2 times.

    LOLOL about pillows!
    I know. Just because one pays a LOT of money, doesn't mean it's better for us.

    IDK about those jerks closing the Cafe lol! How dare they!

    We knows Blue's needs her coffee!

    Love EM

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  21. Blue's Clues
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    2299 posts
    8 February 2021 in reply to ecomama

    Hey EM,

    Well, I guess you have a point about holding up a mirror. Honestly, you don't think much about what you're achieving at the time, you just want out of the crap and will do whatever it takes to get there.

    Yeah, pity we have to learn stuff the hard way, though. That bit sucks. I understand all the religious stuff, my mum is big on all that, too. No threats of disowning though and honestly I'm reasonably sure I'd cut my losses if that's what I was facing. If someone is so offended by us living in a way that works for us and doesn't hurt anyone, that's their problem, not ours.

    That's fair, re your partner. Mine is somewhat anti-marriage. Me, could go either way, so it's not a problem. Main thing is his commitment to me is clear.

    Yeah, except the 12 hours is becoming the norm with or without the pain, which only really hit in the last week or so. Before that, no excuse for it - something is definitely quite wrong. No idea what.

    Physio was of some help, I got some exercises to do regularly that should help. Music to my ears, he recommended that I "keep active" - not doing the stuff that hurts, of course, but generally. I don't do inactive well.

    Yeah, money and pillows. The memory foam ones have a good rep, but they just don't do it for me.

    Yeah, how dare they. Blue definitely needs her coffee! Haha. :)


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  22. ecomama
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    10 February 2021 in reply to Blue's Clues

    Hey Blue, over here now! lol.

    Yep, thought you'd understand the "religious" stuff.
    I've been NC for decades now.
    Mother went through a Praying to Fairies stage, now is "Buddhist" I think, IDK.

    So much for the use of rhetoric she used as a form of control.

    I didn't Christen any of my children in response to the arguments.

    Well I was like "3 strikes and I'm out!" about marriage!!!
    BF was concerned at the time that I would never consider marriage.

    I said it wasn't MARRIAGE I was against, clearly lol, it was the men I married who tried to control me to the nth degree, the last being by far the worst.
    I agree that it's the commitment that counts.
    Paper / no paper, it's not about that.

    Sure is cheaper to get out of though! lol.

    Still defacto has almost same legal standing, except no need for Divorce Court.

    BF wants to marry the moment we can... me ummmm ummm lol.... well???
    I would so much LIKE to use almost ALL the "Intention to marry Visa" time available lol!

    Regardless I'm having a Pre-Nup written up.
    NO WAY am I going through this crap again.
    BF is much more "aware" or scared of legal stuff than anything being American.

    He laughed when I said I wanted this, saying "Baby I'm gonna have a LOT more money than you, why do it?"
    Well tbh it also showed his family that I wasn't after his money. They were good with me anyway, but sad he intended to move here ofcourse.
    This knowledge helped them breathe easier.

    His last wife was clearly after "the money".

    Anyway off to order Yvette's birthday cakes!
    She picked up a shift tonight (surprise surprise lol), so we gotta get back for that.

    Love EM

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  23. Blue's Clues
    Blue's Clues avatar
    2299 posts
    10 February 2021 in reply to ecomama

    My first thought was "But Muuuuum...!" Haha.

    Yup, I know it well. Praying to fairies, huh? I'm cool with Buddhism, seems pretty chill as religions go.

    Rhetoric sucks. Control doesn't work.

    Fair. I'm happy to say my siblings and I weren't Christened. Mum was more for baptism - i.e. making the choice yourself when you're older, which she did for herself (honestly, I think just because that was the norm of her religion, not for any good sense reasons). Glad of that, at least. And yet she was on the bandwagon with circumcision for religious reasons, which is by far a worse choice to take out of someone's hands. My brother is furious about that.

    Kinda can't blame you for that perspective on marriage. Definitely something you're going to have to come to an accord about with your partner. My partner and I have concluded we'll do it if it becomes legally necessary for some reason, but that's about it.

    Not just cheaper to get out of being de facto, also cheaper to get into. I dodged a bullet not marrying the ex, but we were engaged and even just the beginning of preparing for a wedding was a nightmare! I hated every second of it. Why invite that sort of stress if you don't have to?!

    I certainly understand your need for a pre-nup. It makes sense for you, to feel secure. I see your point about also showing your partner's family you're no gold-digger, especially if he's already been married to one in the past.

    Birthday cakes are good, I hope all goes well with her party.

    Shoulder still sore as heck, have confined myself to no working, no driving, no heavy lifting. Light jobs only and stop if it hurts. Shame though, there's so much I want to get done when I'm not stuffed up by having to work!

    Can't see my regular GP before Saturday, so no hope of treatment before I'm back at work again. The physio helped a bit, not nearly enough. Sigh.


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  24. ecomama
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    10 February 2021 in reply to Blue's Clues

    I'm so sorry the treatments for your shoulder haven't worked or have only worked a little, not sure if you said you had an ultrasound on it?
    Seems like something's amiss there... throw it on the pile hey? A one armed throw.

    Yep GP Saturday. Okay, next path I guess?

    Lolol I wasn't sure what you said "OH MUM ..." about! LOL!

    There would sure be an "OH MUM!!" chorus from ALL my children if I DIDN'T marry BF lol!
    He's been so extremely wonderful to us. Sure he's normal at times lol! But he's a very caring person. They all said to me it was weird seeing someone being so loving towards me lol and that they could clearly see how much he adored me. So after his visit there were zero concerns from the kids.
    Plus then they can all be "half American" on their Passports! LOL!

    Oh dear. lol.

    His daughter could become "Half Australian" too which would be a HOOT! She's SO IN LOVE with Australia, the animals most esp being a Vet Nurse. So that's pretty cute.

    Omg I can't believe you mentioned circumcision bec those are one of the stories I held back talking about! Can you imagine multiple birth babies being born early, a miracle they survived at all and me THEN 2 days later, after the most arduous pregnancy of all of mine, having to have an all out argument with demon in-laws over THOSE!!!!
    Raving on and on about Jesus being done etc etc etc.

    OMG GRRRRRR. I ended up saying "My boy's private parts are none of your business".
    Then the one that REALLY floored them (I've studied the Christian faith far more than them!)...
    Jesus was Jewish, He wasn't Christian lol.

    I coulda done with my Blue AND J* sisters in that room!!

    Dear God the times I felt so alone battling demon and family. Still, it's over now Thank God.

    Aha BF and I DO have to marry for Immigration reasons ie him to be able to live in Australia and same for me to live in the U.S. (Some of his friends thought I just wanted a "Green Card"! LOLOLOL then when they saw his photos of where we lived and he took them during a SPECTACULAR Summer... well they knew that wasn't the case.
    So either way, we'll marry if we live that long.

    I got the bathrooms and toilets scrubbed tonight while all the kids were out.
    I desperately need a shower now lol but am on call for pick up any moment, so just having a quiet cuppa.

    Love EM

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  25. Blue's Clues
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    2299 posts
    11 February 2021 in reply to ecomama

    Hey EM,

    Thanks. I had the ultrasound ages ago, that's how the bursitis was identified (and also the injection was guided by ultrasound). Yeah, definitely something amiss. Doc wants to try a second injection to get the inflammation down a bit more. Failing that, off to get an MRI. Sure I've got $400 in my back pocket. >: | Saturday I can expect to get the referral for injection No. 2. Won't be able to get the injection before my next two shifts, of course.

    "But Muuuuum..." was re you saying "Hey Blue, over here now!".

    Ha, that's quite a vote of confidence for your partner from the offspring. Forgot about the changes the two of you marrying would make to your kids' passports. Neat.

    Maybe I was channeling your energy re circumcision? I am very much against it. It sucks that you had to have that fight after such a hard pregnancy. But it sounds like you succeeded in protecting your boys from that. Yeah, had I been around back then I would have backed you up for sure.

    Yes, that's over. No more demon, no more being alone. Breathe, friend.

    Yeah, I know it's necessary for you to marry if you're ever going to live together. Fingers crossed you get to that point, and that you find your peace with marriage by that time.

    It's satisfying getting that stuff done, if rather unglamourous. I'd want a shower, too! Hopefully a peaceful moment with your cuppa, at least?

    Oh, I made a lemon cheesecake yesterday (thankfully it wasn't too taxing on the ol' shoulder and I had breaks along the way). Help yourself. :)


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  26. ecomama
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    11 February 2021 in reply to Blue's Clues

    Ok just a little piece thankyou!
    We ordered a TRIPLE chocolate mousse cake for Yvette AND a white chocolate mud cake for her party.
    They make the silkiest chocolate ganache for the "icing" on their cakes, seriously to die for! OR to stay alive for! lol.

    Cake, one of life's delights.

    BLUE - for the 50th time I've forgotten to tell you about a Netflix show!!! I think you'd love some of the episodes... It's called "The Chef Show". The one about Sour Dough bread was AMAZING! Not traditional but awesome.
    Last night they made a ganache with butter also... so I'm thinking that's the go lol.

    They made salt and vinegar chips too! YUM!
    And this incredible way of cooking Artichokes... they could be easy for you to grow, not sure. Pretty easy to grow here.

    BF is HOOKED. Alexa put me on to it. We're all foodies lol.

    RE: circumcision. Yep. 100%.
    If a Medical Intervention is NECESSARY that's one thing.
    Not just hacking into my babies for no other reason whatsoever.
    demon used it's usual trick I didn't realise back then, saying "oh yes ofcourse" to me, then going behind my back to get it's family all riled up to cause huge arguments.

    I refused to argue.
    My boys. My decision. End of.
    I actually asked the Midwife to ask them to leave. She did saying I needed my rest. They left, waited for her to leave then CAME BACK.


    Yes breathe lol... those thoughts & memories are like a bad brain infection lolol.

    Your shoulder... are you thinking of getting the next injection?
    I'm concerned there might be a tear they didn't find. It happens but hope that's not the case with you!

    Did the physio strap it all up for you?
    Has anyone offered a shoulder strap just for working or such?

    Has the pain moved in score?
    Is it improving or getting worse?

    Tell me to shut up if you need to lol.

    Marriage yes. Tbh I wish I'd met and married him first. He says same thing, notwithstanding his first wife was wonderful. He was a widower then. Very sad.

    It would've been the most loving & interesting relationship. He's super intelligent and I say he has to dumb his conversation down to even talk with me! He denies that, but he's just being polite lol.
    And we LOVE to COOK. It's beautiful when we cook together.

    I really miss him. It's hard being separated. Can't wait to see him again. We're thinking of another "Trial Honeymoon" possibly in Fiji but yeah. No idea what's happening with travel etc.

    It's hard.

    Love EM

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  27. Blue's Clues
    Blue's Clues avatar
    2299 posts
    14 February 2021 in reply to ecomama

    Hey EM,

    Enjoy. :) That's a lotta cake! I'm sure there were plenty of people to share it with, so not an inappropriate amount of cake. I do like a good ganache.

    The Chef Show, huh? Can't say I've heard of it. I'll try and remember to have a look. I chuckled at the mention of growing artichokes. They were one of the weeds my ex used to eradicate for work! In which case, probably easy to grow, haha.

    Completely agree re circumcision. I doubt it's often necessary. It often does harm. Revolting thing to do to an infant. Yup, you are so much better off without that family in your life, what vile people.

    So, after my appointment, doc is not of the opinion I should go for a second injection, that the shift in position and nature of the pain is not indicative of bursitis (i.e. the injection probably did all it needed to for that - I definitely have/had bursitis). He thinks something is amiss with my scapula, and that now physio is the better option. I'll be getting that Health Care Plan finally (but there's a wait for that appointment and I'll need a session or two before then - sigh).

    As for the physio, no he didn't strap it - no-one has suggested anything of the sort. The pain has eased significantly over the course of the week, with limited physical activity and no working or driving. Took until yesterday to settle to a reasonable level at rest. I'm concerned about going back to work, and the long commute - it certainly isn't better, and aches when I do stuff like hanging up washing. I've had to take breaks during jobs like that.

    Nah, not gonna tell you to shut up. We're good.

    I understand that. I think the same of being with my partner - wish I'd met him first. Then I think, he's younger than me and would have been in kindy when I met the first ex. Hmm. But more seriously, if we hadn't walked the paths we have, we'd be different people. We may not have connected with our current partners back then the way we do now, or known just how lucky we are to have them. Shoulda, coulda, woulda thinking doesn't really serve us.

    Maybe a matter of jargon rather than intelligence, if he modifies what he says for you? I relate to the cooking, my partner and I are great in the kitchen together, though we cook so differently. I drive him nuts with how I do things, he's very meticulous, but somehow we still have fun. He says "I love your results but I have no idea how you get them!". Hehe.

    I understand, we had some ugly periods apart, too. Hopefully not too much longer.


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  28. ecomama
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    14 February 2021 in reply to Blue's Clues

    HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY Blue and LM and Puffballs lol!

    Hope you all have a wonderful day.

    Yeah I've been there lots with the "wishful thinking" stuff. Truth is BF would have scared me when I was 20yo! He's so BIG and TALL! It's lovely now, I fit right under his arm when I'm wearing high heeled shoes lol.
    Steely sharp intelligence. I don't last 2 minutes listening to a conversation with him, his dad and his brother... it's like I'm trying to decipher a foreign language lol.

    I thank him for dumbing down his talks with me! LOL! He says "No baby, I don't do that!" carries on about my intelligence (but I know he does).

    I'm really glad your GP is listening to you re: your shoulder.
    I know it's a "longer" kind of treatment but some physios are magicians lol!
    Kinda glad he's not going with another injection tbh.

    You could book in with the physio before you get you HCP?
    I've done that before and said the HCP is on it's way & will be there before the appt.
    They don't mind, it's another patient / client, they're happy.

    Seriously, if you and LM are foodies then you'll LOVE the Chef Show.
    It's AMAZING.
    The Sour Dough episode is my fave so far.
    They give you the list of ingredients and most of the time, the measurements too lol.

    Artichokes a weed?? Sacrilege! Hahaha.

    BF has his mother's Breaded Artichoke Recipe and it's so mouth watering. I'd be jumping in front of those ppl ripping them out to save them LOL!

    BFs mother was Italian descent and his dad of German descent.
    Their recipes are just the best.

    His mom (lol) typed ALL her favourite recipes - about 300 or so.
    Then printed it 3 copies for each of her children.
    The painted watercolours paintings on each cover and gave them to each child as gifts.

    I want to have them Published, they're that good. It's on the list for Immigrating to Oz lol.

    I reckon minimum 5 years, possibly longer, small chance it will be sooner, before BF can "retire" to immigrate. Unless another idea or opportunity pops up or we make it happen, that's the rub.

    But hopefully a LOT of practice Honeymoons in that time.

    I'd better call him being our Australian Valentine's Day.

    Hope yours is full of love and happiness Blue.
    Love EM

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  29. Blue's Clues
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    2299 posts
    17 February 2021 in reply to ecomama

    Thanks, EM. Happy Pink Halloween! (My friend called it that, and I liked it much better than Valentine's.) My partner is quite anti-Valentine's on account of the commercial nature of it, so we don't really do anything with it. I do usually make him some shortbread though, as a vague nod to it that doesn't include going off to the shop and shelling out for it.

    That height difference is quite something. There's not much of one between my partner and I, less than the length of a hand. We're pretty much on par for intelligence, too. I don't think I would be happy with a partner who had to "dumb things down" for me, or one I had to do that for. I'm glad it's not something that bothers you.

    I am likewise very glad I wasn't sent off for another injection. It's a good sign for my doctor's competence, that he evaluates things relative to how they are, and if there are changes, rather than going with a stock-standard "easy" response as a lot of doctors seem to.

    The thing about that is I need at least anther session or two before I even get the HCP and they're not going to wait 2-3 weeks after the appointment for it. So no, I'm just going to have to cough up. I've had one more appointment already, and with the doctor's suggestion to focus on the scapula, some good change has happened. It still hurts at work and driving, but I'm no longer in constant pain even at rest, and can do some stuff around the house with a lot less pain after. I've got some more exercises for improving mobility, with one to try for strengthening when I'm up to it. More focus on that when the pain and mobility are in better shape.

    Admittedly I'm interested in the sourdough, we've both wanted to try our hand at bread-making. We'll get there eventually.

    Haha, yep, artichokes are a weed. So are blackberries. Both sure are expensive to buy though, funny about that.

    I like that your partner's mum made her kids those recipe books. I had to drag any cooking knowledge from my mum (she used to make the best gravies), she didn't teach me much of anything. And Dad just sucks at cooking. I've slowly amassed a couple of folders of favourite recipes over the last handful of years.

    I guess at least you have a timeframe, that can help you plan and get on with life in the meantime. I think practice honeymoons are called "holidays". I might be wrong.

    Happiness is hit and miss, but there's love in all my days with my partner (he spoils me on any but Valentine's). I am grateful for him.


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  30. ecomama
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    17 February 2021 in reply to Blue's Clues

    Wow Blue, I'm really happy for the progress with your shoulder!

    Those visits are SO worth it for you. Glad to hear the pain has reduced too. Phew, getting there!

    Your partner sounds very lovely Blue and I'm glad for you both that you found each other.
    Lol Happy Pink Halloween to you all too lol! That's cute!

    Yeah I don't mind BF having to dumb down his technical talk about Engineering et al lol!
    I do have to make my vernacular more in layman's terms for him regarding my work too, so it's all good.
    We've both had to do this for around 30-40 years with other ppl, so we're very used to it.

    Alexa has to do it with BOTH of us and everyone else except for her counterparts. Though she is surprised when I "get" something lol!

    BFs and My IQs are the same! LOL!
    My focus has been far more in the "humanities" and his far more in Science and Engineering.
    It's pretty cool learning from him. He likes to learn from me too. It's sweet!

    You will LOVE the Chef show, I swear. It's just MADE for foodies like us! Brilliant.

    Yeah my mum was a pretty good cook but never used recipes. BUT she was also a strange cook at times, having burnt things on one side and still frozen on the other.
    Still she fed us extremely healthy food, always. A side salad every single night all year round and only fruit for entree / dessert. She did well.
    She was a Nurse AND a Dietician. Pretty lucky there.

    BFs mom was a Gourmet Cook and growing up in San Diego on a huge property with a helicopter, Jags, inground pool and "staff" lololol... well needless to say, there was NO "going without".
    I love that he had such a privileged upbringing.
    He has that freshness and naivete that comes with that kind of childhood.
    It's very sweet & beautiful.

    I know he doesn't tell me, but I've seen him do it ALL the time. Just gives money to homeless ppl. Or buys them a meal. He donates money all the time to others. He's so kind.

    No, they're called Practice Honeymoons LOL!!!
    We call them that anyway. 😉
    He always books us in Motels under Mr & Mrs____ and when they call to me, I used to look around for his sil! LOL! BF nudges me and says "They're talking to you baby" lol.

    Ahhh better renew my Passport regardless but I need to change my name BACK on my Driver's License first.
    Thank goodness I found a guy that said I DON'T have to pay the $400 to change my name. Phew for that! I think that's a new clothes drier! LOL!

    Love EM

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