Ah I'm not really better :(
Today has been horrible.
My motorcycle clutch started to slip this morning so I'm nervous about riding back home because if it has an issue, the power won't be transferring to the wheels and I'll just be revving the bike really hard in Sydney traffic, going at 10km/hour or backwards on a hill.
Then I got an email from my mum with some notes my preschool took on my development and some of that stuff makes me sad because I don't remember any of it, but I can already see the beginnings of my own personality traits that I really dislike in there, particularly the more BPD ones.
I also got an email yesterday about possibly starting honours again and I don't know whether to put myself through that intensive stress or not, but I'm worried that if I don't, I'll miss the opportunity with some great supervisors, if I haven't missed it already by deferring.
And throughout the day, I've just been agonizing over whether to just tell this girl that I really like her, but the whole situation is messing with my head because I don't know if she would even want to be dating properly or just be friends, but she seems curious about me as well because she was asking if I was talking to anyone else online, but then I wonder if I'm just overthinking everything. I don't know. I'm very confused.
I want to go home and sleep and cry. Trying my best not to do anything impulsive or stupid.
Sorry...I had to get that out...
I hope you are okay. Did you manage to make any plans?
Is your doctor in the hospital?