I just called in to see how you're feeling, you previous post answered my question to myself.
Give yourself some time to get through this dark place and phase your going through. Please Dools don't let the negativity of your thoughts take over from the positives, The positives are there they are their just hiding, seek them out and use the positives to faze out the negatives. You are stronger then you think you are, your posts to others show a strong, caring, kind person.
You have shown the way towards the light for so many people here, the lights there for you as well Dools, you just have to find a small speck then nurture it and let it grow into a full light beam.
The picture your looking at at the moment of yourself is through depression a dark place, that's stopping you from moving forward, try to look past that darkness and see the picture of who you really are when you have the light on your side, then you will begin to move forward with your life..
There are so many beautiful things to see in our lives that depression hides from us, it takes the joy out of doing things we once loved, we have to try and get back to those things by remembering the joy we felt once while doing them..Maybe just take a few moments to remember/reflect on the good you've for others here, the challenges that you've over come in your past.
The emotional roller coaster of ups and down I can relate to, it's so annoying but achievable, to be more up then down, it's a hard achievement to do, but Dools you are a fighter and can over come this phase your going through, we all have belief and faith that you can do it..
Im hoping your day will be a better one tomorrow.
Please be gentle and kind to yourself, you are so very important.