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Forums / Long term support over the journey / DEPRESSION: Fight it or embrace it?

Topic: DEPRESSION: Fight it or embrace it?

  1. Doolhof
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    7 March 2018 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi DB and All,

    Today has been a real mixed bag of emotions. Nothing like variety!

    I had an appointment this morning with a new physio in a town where I like going for a walk, so went early and had a 1/2 hour walk before the physio. I tried to take in all the scenery, the different trees, the sound of the pine needles under my shoes and the brilliant blue of the sky.

    The physio was asking about my general health and my mental health issues came up in the conversation. She offered me encouragement and explained the connection between my physical pain and mental health.

    I had to go to the next town to pick some things up so called in to the library and borrowed some books on Artists, one being early Australian artists from the late 1800s to early 1900s and one on the artist Monet. Also picked up a book that says it can give your brain a work out.

    Arriving home, things went a bit yuck, emotions and depression went a little downhill so I decided to wash the car then made a healthy lunch.

    I decided I didn't want to feel yuck, so sorted out some paper work, sent off some text messages requesting info for up coming appointments then sat and looked in one of the Art books, reading some of the stories behind the early Australian artist.

    The physio appointment had stirred up my back and was also causing a serious kind of headache so I did some stretches, lay on the bed for a while and counted my blessings.

    Feeling a bit yuck again, so I have now washed the dishes, am "chatting" here then soon I will have my Country Fire Service training so will have people to chat with there.

    So in the end I have achieved quite a lot today. I have managed to keep on top of my emotions before they became overwhelming. I accepted I was feeling yuck and did something to help myself feel better!

    Wishing all of you what ever it is that you need to help you through the tough days!

    Cheers from Dools

    4 people found this helpful
  2. Doolhof
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    7 March 2018 in reply to white knight

    Hi Tony,

    You mentioned your wife and your daughter have been doing or are doing some Painting by numbers". That is a great idea. I might have a look in an Art shop next time I am in the city and see if they have any available or will check out the internet.

    Tony, how is your daughter getting on? Sorry I don't remember which thread you were discussing your daughter's well-being on, so I will just ask you here. I really do hope she is receiving the help and assistance she needs and that she is able to make a little progress each day.

    Finding activities that bring even a small amount of pleasure certainly helps. Just looking at some paintings in a book today helped me feel better. I hope your daughter is able to find pleasure in simple things as well.

    Cheers Tony, from Dools

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  3. demonblaster
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    7 March 2018 in reply to Doolhof

    Finding your fire Dools power to you

    Hi everyone

    Ow.. your backs stirred up do you have any relief with the heat packs. Just remembered the ones you made.

    Go

    That would have been nice the place you like to walk gives other things for our minds to take in. Ahh and a bad head too yikes hopefully that eases off too, poor thing. I think it's a cool towel around the neck Grandy says can help.

    Do you find the stretches help? Thanks to you I've been doing some for arm pain from neck, think they're helping ease it but while for it yet. Ouch too. No party is it

    Books sound good been thinking I must get back into reading. So you like art Dools. Hey keen on hearing about the mind one too, sounds interesting

    Got your fire training and the other place you have some chats with a group read today but memory block atm (at the moment

    Good going trooper you're a survivor and inspiration

    Thanks for the update.. wondered how you are ☺

    Care 🤗

  4. Doolhof
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    8 March 2018 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi DB and All,

    Oh bother. Not having such a good day today.

    Time to do the dishes, some stretches and a bit of my study on the computer.

    Trying not to feel swamped and overloaded. One thing at a time right! A few deep breathes.

    Think I will put on some music while I am doing the dishes and my stretches. Might help my mindset a little!

    This up and down business really sucks!

    Cheers all from Dools

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  5. Summer Rose
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    8 March 2018 in reply to Doolhof
    Hang in there, lovely. You can do it. Your are doing it. Your way, one step at a time x
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  6. demonblaster
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    8 March 2018 in reply to Doolhof

    They do suck but the ups...they're good aren't they. They'll increase cause you work at it Dools

    🏋️‍♀️ back excercises reminder Mam

    Laters

  7. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
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    10 March 2018 in reply to Doolhof

    Really struggling to make any sense of my existence right now.

    Need to make some plans for the day and follow them through .

    That's it! I have no more words to write right now!

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  8. PamelaR
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    10 March 2018 in reply to Doolhof

    Sending you virtual hugs Dools.

    Sorry to hear you're struggling right now. Holding your hand. You're a wonderful person who gives so much to others here on BB forums. I'm always looking out for your posts. You make me laugh too with some of your comments. They are so funny. Laughter is good for the soul.

    Did you want to go for another walk? Happy to join you. Let me know.

    No words are necessary. I'll just rabbit on if that's okay?

    Currently we're preparing to go camping next week. Fingers crossed that the rain stays away!! Haven't been camping for a couple of decades. My back is cringing at the thought. But it's better than no travel at all. We can't afford the cost of accommodation. So I'm hoping this is going to be okay. Will keep you informed. I won't be online for the week because there's no electricity!! So no recharging batteries etc.

    My husband is a little OCD, he likes to do a pre pack of the car to see how everything will fit. Me, I'm happy just to pack on the day.....

    The weather has been a little cooler here which is so nice, it's so much easier to sleep. Even the cats are feeling it. They like to snuggle up to the pashmina throw overs with their little noses and ears sticking out the top.

    🦋🌞

    PamelaR

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  9. Doolhof
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    10 March 2018 in reply to PamelaR

    Hi PamelaR,

    Thanks so much for your message! Greatly appreciated. I have been out in the garden for quite a while, had a shower washed my hair and feel a bit better about life.

    While out in the garden I realised how consistently an issue has been popping into my head, so I need to do something about that later on today. I will write some stuff down to get it out of my head.

    Laughter is good for the soul isn't it. I was raking up leaves near the old chook house and was thinking of the times I had in the garden with the chooks, one of them especially was very funny with her antics. She would try to hide under the daisy bush when it was time for them to go back into their yard.

    I agree with you, camping is not all that good on a sore back. Hope you have a good mattress to sleep on, or a sheet of rubber or something comfortable. I went camping once and forgot to take the poles and tent pegs with me. Ended up using rocks inside the tent and a couple of branches to help hold it up.

    If you want to make sure you don't have any rain, head for South Australia. We haven't had rain for months! It is really hot here again too.

    Time for some lunch then I might read a book for a while. I finished my crotchet blanket last night and have another one to sew together with lots of little squares.

    Wish the Merry-go-Round of emotions would not spin so quickly!

    Enjoy the camping! Cheers from Dools

    3 people found this helpful
  10. Ggrand
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    10 March 2018 in reply to Doolhof

    Hello Dools,

    I just called in to see how you're feeling, you previous post answered my question to myself.

    Give yourself some time to get through this dark place and phase your going through. Please Dools don't let the negativity of your thoughts take over from the positives, The positives are there they are their just hiding, seek them out and use the positives to faze out the negatives. You are stronger then you think you are, your posts to others show a strong, caring, kind person.

    You have shown the way towards the light for so many people here, the lights there for you as well Dools, you just have to find a small speck then nurture it and let it grow into a full light beam.

    The picture your looking at at the moment of yourself is through depression a dark place, that's stopping you from moving forward, try to look past that darkness and see the picture of who you really are when you have the light on your side, then you will begin to move forward with your life..

    There are so many beautiful things to see in our lives that depression hides from us, it takes the joy out of doing things we once loved, we have to try and get back to those things by remembering the joy we felt once while doing them..Maybe just take a few moments to remember/reflect on the good you've for others here, the challenges that you've over come in your past.

    The emotional roller coaster of ups and down I can relate to, it's so annoying but achievable, to be more up then down, it's a hard achievement to do, but Dools you are a fighter and can over come this phase your going through, we all have belief and faith that you can do it..

    Im hoping your day will be a better one tomorrow.

    Please be gentle and kind to yourself, you are so very important.

    Kindness only,

    Karen, (Grandy).

    1 person found this helpful
  11. startingnew
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    10 March 2018 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi Mrs D

    Sorry to hear your struggling so much right now, i wish i had the magic words to make things better for you but know you have my support as well as the other lovely members here too.

    Hoping today is better than the last and your able to find moments of peace and joy within each day.

    Sending a bunch of flowers of your favourite kind and hugs xoxo

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  12. demonblaster
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    10 March 2018 in reply to Doolhof

    Hey Dools and other good people here

    You're deserving of happiness Dools the light you shed to others I want you to feel too

    So glad you got out into the garden I know it gives you peace and accomplishment well done.

    And your books too good on you. I still havent been to the library to get one. Must

    Glad you're feeling a touch lighter

    Sending you a lovely warming healing soul hug 🤗 dear good lady

    Good wishes always for you and to the lovely people here ☺

    1 person found this helpful
  13. demonblaster
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    10 March 2018 in reply to demonblaster

    Oh and Doolsy you asked for reminders with your back exercises

    🤗

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  14. Birdy77
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    10 March 2018 in reply to demonblaster

    Dearest Dools,

    I'm a bit late to your thread because I've been off the forums for a week or so.

    i just wanted to say how much your presence is appreciated, even though you're struggling with your own battles you're always such an amazing inspiration to us all.

    You make us laugh with all sorts of awesome imagery, you have fanstastic and practical suggestions for self-care and are just a generally awesome person.

    It's ok for you to feel the way you do. I know i often have that question, fight it or embrace it? And i think some days maybe we need to fight it, and some days we need to embrace it.

    Whether you are on an embracing day or a fighting day, you have us in your corner who think very highly of you and respect your beautiful way of being.

    Love❤

    🌻 birdy

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  15. PamelaR
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    10 March 2018 in reply to Doolhof

    Hiya Dools

    There are a number of things in your post that I'd like to say something about -

    The chook hiding in the daisy bush is amazing. I can really visualise it. Chooks are gorgeous, make beautiful pets.

    Your crocheted blanket sounds awesome. Enjoy sewing it together. I made one years ago when I was laid up in bed following an operation. Had it for years, until some of the wool started unravelling. Didn't do a very good job. But enjoyed it for some years. Enjoy your blanket!

    Your story about putting rocks in the tent, totally resonated with me. Earlier today my hubby and I were discussing what we'd do if we didn't have tent pegs. LOL - rocks in the corners of the tent :)

    Merry-go-round of emotions is the pits. No other word for it. My heart and hand go out to you to help you on your way - to help settle your ups and downs.

    Going to bed soon. Might post some more before I do though.

    Kind regards

    PamelaR

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  16. PamelaR
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    11 March 2018 in reply to Doolhof

    Dools

    Just about logging out. Have tried to find White Knight and Croix's threads to invite them to cocktails and star gazing next Friday night. But having difficulties locating their threads. If you perchance come across them, can you let them know it's party time on Friday night? And of course anyone else you think I've missed.

    Hope Sunday's been a better day for you. Sending you all my virtual hugs and love.

    PamelaR

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  17. Shelll
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    13 March 2018 in reply to Doolhof

    I have not got much to say Mrs D, but wanted you to know I am thinking of you at the moment. I care about you...

    Hugs

    Shell xx

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  18. Doolhof
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    13 March 2018 in reply to Shelll

    Hi Everyone,

    Thanks for the messages. I've had a few days that have not been all that wonderful, so have not been on the forum much at all.

    Today is a new day. We have had a couple of friends join us for lunch and then they had to dash off as a family member is not well. Made me think I need to count my blessings a bit more!

    While I was out walking this morning I saw a rabbit which hopped off in a real hurry. They do make me smile when I see them race away, their little back ends bouncing up and down.

    As it has been a little cooler here today, I have the curtains open and the blinds up, so it is wonderful to see the world outside once again.

    It is lovely to see the birds in the bird bath out the kitchen window now the blind is up. Just hope the heat stays away! I'd love some rain, but not as much s they have had in Queensland! I do feel so sorry for the people affected by the floods.

    Once again it makes me count my blessings!

    Cheers to you all and thanks so much for your messages Karen, SN, DB, Birdy, Shell, PamelaR and anyone else I might have missed.

    3 people found this helpful
  19. demonblaster
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    13 March 2018 in reply to Doolhof

    You're sounding brighter Doolsy. Glad. Its a welcome reprieve isnt it. Hope you continue gaining strength

    Get so much pleasure reading your posts

    Hi/bye everyone ☺

  20. startingnew
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    13 March 2018 in reply to Doolhof
    hey Mrs D its good to hear your a little better. just a friendly reminder that its ok not to be ok sometimes too xoxo
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  21. Ggrand
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    13 March 2018 in reply to Doolhof

    Hello Dools,

    Im pleased you sound a little brighter today, that make me feel happy for you..

    You always make your walks sound amazing, love the little rabbits, there so cute, I often see them hopping around across the road through my front window..I remember when around 6 years ago I went for a walk at night with my torch , and heard a noise in the bush as I reached it, I got a bit concerned and decided to turn around, I turned but also brushed the leaves on the bush, when all of a sudden a big Tom cat jumped out meowing high pitched and ran up the street, well did I scream and run, I got home so quickly, after the shock wore of I collapsed in fits of giggles..

    The birds are so sweets when they sit in the water and flap their little wings around when washing themselves, I think a little bit of mindfulness there Dools..

    I hope tomorrow your a little brighter again Dools,

    Kindness always,

    Karen.

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  22. Doolhof
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    14 March 2018 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi DB, Karen, SN and All,

    You are so right SN, it is important to remember that I don't always have to be happy, that is just not possible. Some days just don't work out so well!

    This morning I made an extra effort at the Medical Centre to not allow myself to become too panicky or stressed out when the receptionist could not find the form I needed to sign for a referral. I told myself it was not my fault and I didn't have to fix the problem, she needed to have another look. The form was found eventually.

    I then managed to find a walk I hadn't been on before as I was not exactly sure where it started or how to connect to it. I kept looking around until I discovered the path.

    At the start of the walk I found an extremely friendly Tom cat who enjoyed having a rub under the chin. Not like the scary Tom cat Karen encountered one night in a bush!

    I heard lots of birds, saw some hills in the background, enjoyed the shade under the gum trees dotted along the walk and thought about all the things I have to be thankful for.

    Then I joined the craft group. Part of my mind was telling me no one would care if I was there or not. The thoughts our minds tell us at times! Really! I decided I wasn't going to accept the negatives as truth and enjoyed my time at the craft group.

    I'm realising that afternoons and early evenings are my worst time of day at present for my depression to fester and grow so I am going to work on filling this time up so I don't wander around feeling lost, which leads to restlessness, that leads to other negatives!

    Acceptance. I will accept when the depressive moments come. I will acknowledge the presence of the negatives and try to tell myself there are times when I will not be happy or positive. I don't need to find these depressive times repugnant. They are just there and I can find ways to deal with them!

    Right. Time to practise what I have just written!

    Cheers all from Dools

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  23. demonblaster
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    14 March 2018 in reply to Doolhof

    Lol Grandy Hi Doolsy and all

    Okaay thanks for clarifying accaptance darl I'm starting to see through the woods or what is cant see the forrest for the trees or similar lol actually gunna give that one up

    Well done Dools

    I've started to realise too we can access logical thinking like you've done with talking ourselves out of pain. Not listening to beasty counteracting with constructive. 👌

    Craft group would be great what things do you make

    It is nice looking at nature and glad you're getting variety too

    Good to see you're on your way back up

    There's a lady we affectionately call Dools

    This brave friend teaches the use of tools

    because I have some pain

    In my little ole brain

    I've decided for now to go

    But "I'll beeee baccck" ya know

    Go easy guys 🤗

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  24. Doolhof
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    15 March 2018 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi Everyone,

    DB, I love your little poem, it is excellent.

    The craft group is a very casual affair where people bring along their own projects with anything relating to YARN. Some crochet, knit, weave, do embroidery, and some just chat the whole time and don't unpack their craft at all.

    Some of us bring along our lunch and leave soon after. It is held in the library of one of the local towns.

    I have some yarn/wool I have bought over the years or had it given to me. I sometimes but it cheap at the Op Shop when people donate brand new balls they have not used. At the moment I am crocheting a knee rug in various shades of green and blue with some speckled whites/greens/blues to help break up the main colours.

    The rhythm of crocheting or knitting seems relaxing to me.

    Do you like any crafts DB?

    Cheers from Dools

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  25. Doolhof
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    15 March 2018 in reply to Doolhof

    Today I had an appointment with a different psychiatrist. I will be very interested to read his report and recommendations based on the questions he asked and the answers I gave.

    As I am already aware, I am very hard on myself at times, or maybe I just don't think I deserve any better and I am just not good enough.

    He told me I need to change this way of thinking but was unable to suggest how. That I need to work on it to make a difference. A few little hints on how this is achieved would have been beneficial.

    As my mind has consistently been thinking the way it does for ages, I will need to find ways to redirect it, make the changes and move forward. One day at a time!

    My brain feels "cooked" after all those questions! Hopefully in his report he will have some suggestions and recommendations I can follow.

    You know what, sometimes the ideas and suggestions people recommend here are very beneficial, so I need to put a lot more of what I learn here and even what I share myself into practice!

    Right I will start that now! I will be more aware of actions I can put in place to change my life for the better!

    Cheers all from Dools

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  26. demonblaster
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    15 March 2018 in reply to Doolhof

    You're good at this Dools 🤗 you're ok with hugs aye if memory serves

    Yeah how helps. True about things here I hear and think but have the great wall of china to break through then in mania 😨zoom zoom can't stop me my my how many yrs worth you can get done in average of a week lol I'm working on why because if I can figure that I might be able to come up with how. This is between the episodes nothing.

    I listen and hear but working on hearing more but the heads South so often making it hard to hear not to say not going to get through just need a jack hammer

    Crafts sounds great is yarn a kinda ropey no is it shinyish? Or none of the above 😆 I think I know it but not (atm at the moment

    Sort of Dools I do art designs apparently similar to tribal moreso out of monetry value than passion have believed for yrs I can become a household name majority of people really like it but you have to observe reactions cause I say they can be honest I wouldnt give 2 bob for Mona Lisa but look at the value for that atrocity sorry but I find it depressing her face is pleasant but the colours its out of proportion to me rah rah but again mania times but it is nice creating something lovely and certainly cathartic and release

    My love is Calligraphy (latern for beautiful writing) again doing it urghh but got reasonably good at Old English use to sell door to door and fiddled with glitter, ribbons etc as well

    Also Mum taught me tatting she was very good I picked up the knot easily apparently its very hard its created by making a knot in two parts. I used to go door to door with them too to help survive being a compulsive gambler 21 yr habit pokies was the only real problem gambling

    Must but how? ☺

    If I had a $ for procrastination the queen would ask for a loan. She's looking well

    I admire how you push through and keep positive and humour Doolsy you really are an inspiration and help many. You touch peoples lives.

    🤗

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  27. Doolhof
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    16 March 2018 in reply to demonblaster

    Dear Deebi,

    You warm my heart as do so many others here, thanks. I like the analogy of needing the jack hammer to help break down walls and old habits. I can relate to that.

    I know there are so many things I can do to help myself, maybe now is the time to appreciate all I have been able to do in the past, to look at what I can do today to improve things further.

    Last night I read some ideas and information on the internet about Gratitude Journals. Some of the different points made were enlightening. For example it will help you:

    - lower stress levels

    - gain a new perspective of what is important to you and what you truly appreciate in your life.

    - provide clarity to what you want more of in your life

    - reading what you have written on a blue day will help you feel better about yourself and your life.

    Oh yes, by YARN the term relates to anything to do with wool, threads, cottons and so on. I'm very impressed you have tried tatting, I have watched people do this and it fascinates me. Sounds like you have tried a few different arts and crafts.

    Time for me to consider what I will write in my Gratitude Journal before I head off for the day with my husband on a "bonding outing". My suggestion.

    Cheers from Dools

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  28. demonblaster
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    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7666 posts
    16 March 2018 in reply to Doolhof
    Hi babies new venue this is the one now .Boomer party.

    Social zone... "All Welcome to the BB Weetbix Willow (WW) party function centre"

    Any time from now

    Fantasy fun zaney escape from pain ... OPEN DOOR all WELCOME spread the word
  29. PamelaR
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    PamelaR avatar
    2740 posts
    17 March 2018 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi Dools.

    How was your 'bonding outing'? Hope things went well for you.

    Changing that continuous talk we have in our heads is not easy. It takes time and we shouldn't beat ourselves up if we're not achieving what we think we should. I do it all the time. Like on our camping - someone said something that I totally took the wrong way and put it out of proportion. Do you think I could remove that comment from going around and around. Nah. Having had a good night sleep last night thought helped to reassess the meaning of the comment.

    It all takes time, it isn't easy Mrs Dools. I have every faith in you that your on the right track to helping yourself. You are a marvellous person and I truly love your posts which often make me laugh out loud!

    Going to your craft group and keeping gratitude journals sounds an awesome idea to help you through these down times. Of course, I think BB forums help tremendously. So many wonderful people out there who want to give you virtual hugs. It's a lovely place to be.

    Hugs and love Mrs D.

  30. Doolhof
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Doolhof avatar
    8810 posts
    18 March 2018 in reply to PamelaR

    Hi PamelaR and All,

    Thanks for your post. The bonding session went kind of oaky! I had in mind how it would go so was not disappointment when my husband was connected to his mobile phone most of the time and was talking to other people more than me at the places we stopped at.

    At the end of the day he said he really enjoyed my company and had a great time. I made the most of it enjoying the scenery, new sights, looking at old houses in some of the suburbs, admired gardens, and had opportunity to chat while we were driving from here to there.

    Yes, those thoughts in the head can be so bothersome...a bit like the neighbour's German Shepherd last night barking for hours. It can be hard to ignore both events! It is annoying how the disappointment and frustration can continue on into the next day! There should be an expiration date and time of negative thoughts and feelings! Or an erase button.

    One thing with that Gratitude Journal...guess the whole point of it is that I actually write in it and don't just look at it! Ha. Ha. I will work on that later today after I have been to Church and return home again.

    I happily accept your virtual hugs. I agree with you, there are so many wonderful people on this forum who reach out to each other. For some people, this connection might be all they have!

    Yesterday I was considering the people I know through the groups and activities I am currently involved in. I don't know many of them like great friends, but they are there. Even the brief chats and laughs add up to help me get through life.

    I've prattled on again! Thanks again for your words and encouragement PamelaR. You have helped me create a better atmosphere in my mind!

    Big cheers to you and all, from Mrs. Dools

    1 person found this helpful

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