Online forums

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please complete your profile

Complete your profile

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community.

Forum membership is open to anyone residing in Australia.

Join the online community Community rules Coping during the Coronavirus outbreak

Forums / Long term support over the journey / DEPRESSION: Fight it or embrace it?

Topic: DEPRESSION: Fight it or embrace it?

  1. Doolhof
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Doolhof avatar
    8823 posts
    2 May 2019 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi Deebi, Grandy and All,

    My husband and I were able to talk about last night so that has helped to clear the air. Yes he is suspected of having Asperger's (By our Dr.) but has never gone to be tested. I understand that. Tonight he thanked me for our evening meal and said he appreciated it.

    I told him I appreciated his thanks and if he has something to say about the meal that he doesn't like, could he find a different way to say it.

    I have been thinking a lot about the different suggestion you both and others have made. I was thinking of colours the other day and trying to think of as many things as I could that were orange in colour, then green.

    We were busy in the Op Shop today, we had lots of customers and there is always something to clean up and people to chat with.

    Found a craft magazine in the Op Shop with ideas for cards and scrapbooking. Made a cup of tea when I came home and spent time looking in the magazine considering how I could use similar designs and styles in my journal. Felt really tired so had a snooze.

    Maybe tomorrow morning I can try out some of the designs and find some cheerful and positive sayings to go with them.

    I'm catching up with a friend for lunch then have a Volunteer's Appreciation dinner to attend in the evening.

    The rain has disappeared from our region. Hope you still get some Grandy!

    Hey Deebi and Grandy, we can take all of those goodies to a park, sit at the table and chairs there, listen to the kookaburras and magpies and have a feast! Sounds great!

    Deebi, I recently bought a book about Borderline Personality Disorder. I have started to read it and find a lot of it to be helpful and explains how this condition effects the way the mind works and how to counter balance it all.

    It does seem so easy at times for the mind to misconstrue what has been said and turn it into the worst comment you have ever heard in your life! I need to remind myself I don't have to think that way!

    I have listened to the Smiling Mind once today and will do so just before I go to bed.

    Wishing you both a day tomorrow where you feel thankful for so many things. Same for all who are reading.

    Cheers from Dools

    3 people found this helpful
  2. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    9876 posts
    4 May 2019 in reply to Doolhof

    Hello Mrs Dools...

    Yay we got some rain yesterday...not enough to help the farmers that much...but it was just so lovely to sit in my lounge room and watch the heavens open up their heart and give us so much needed rain....It sounded better on the roof instead of what the possum? did the other night...The cows were enjoying the rain as well..they were munching on the dry grass with some rain on it...They never ran for cover at all, so I’m thinking they were also enjoying a wash from Mother Nature...😂..

    Im pleased you spoke to your hubby about the things he said that upset you...Well done..It’s nice when we are listened to....

    Ive not tried scrap booking although I’ve seen it done on the web...It looks good and can be done with anything that makes you feel good...Not sure I have enough patience to do that though...

    It was interesting to here about borderline personality..I think in a way that most people with BP, depression can relate to making a mountain out of a molehill when it comes to small negative comments....just my thoughts...

    Winter has reared it’s beautiful head today..I love winter..as long as my hands and feet are warm I love the icy cold air on my face and breathing it in...wow so refreshing...my hair hates it..being with natural ringlets and long..it frizzes outways and upways like helicopter 🚁 rotors...A bit of wind under it and up I could go😂..

    I hope your weekend is a good weekend dear Mrs Dools and you can manage to do something in your garden...or something else that keeps your busy...I read else where you forgot to wear your ankle brace/support..maybe you could put it next to or on top of the shoes you intend to wear on that day.. That way it’s visible when your getting ready for your day.🤗💜...

    Sending you some love and warm caring hugs dear Mrs Dools..💜🤗...

    Grandy

    2 people found this helpful
  3. Doolhof
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Doolhof avatar
    8823 posts
    4 May 2019 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi Grandy,

    I agree with you, the sound of rain, especially when we have not had any for a while is wonderful, it cleans everything and brings a sense of new life and hope. I can't begin to imagine what it is like to live in a place that has had no rain for say 6 months, let alone years.

    We had lunch with my husband's family today. I was offered more than just potatoes for lunch so that was nice! Even though I have tried to explain Coeliac disease and gluten intolerance to my Mother in law, after today, I realise just how much she is not understanding, so I will type her up a list or print one off the computer.

    She offered me "normal" cake and Tim Tams a few times even when I explained I couldn't eat them as they have wheat and contain gluten.

    I had planned to do some art and craft when we arrived home but I was so tired after not sleeping more than 3 hours the night before. I fella sleep in front of the footy. Now it is time to go to bed and I am wide awake!

    Tomorrow after Church and lunch I will hopefully spend some time in the garden and do some craft in the evening. I also want to catch up on my journal, writing all the nice things that have been happening lately in it.

    I have my brace lying on my shoes that I wear all the time as they are the most supportive. For some reason I just didn't put it on when I went to the Op Shop. I did today though even though I knew I wasn't walking very far. Helped support my ankle so it feel s a bit better.

    Have you heard of "Zen tangles" Grandy? I have seen them in colouring books a few times and there are books just on Zen tangles. Some of the designs remind me of old fashioned embroidery stitches and designs. I Googled some last night and want to give them a try tomorrow. They look very creative and may make interesting borders in my journal.

    My husband had a friend sleep over last night, so I felt compelled to stay in the house this morning while I waited for them both to get up. I used the time on the forum and cutting out pictures to use either for my journal or for the old dears to stick to cardboard to make something.

    Cheers to you Grandy and to All reading from Dools

    2 people found this helpful
  4. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7817 posts
    5 May 2019 in reply to Doolhof
    Dear Doolsy Grandy and all hi ☺

    How are you feeling Doolsy. I'm glad hearing there's some positive changes happening. Great hubby has taken some on board. I love that day he asked if you wanted to go for a drive and dropped you at the beach.
    It certainly is lovely having someone grateful and saying so. My darling was always appreciative which was lovely. He use to love cooking and was good. Bonus

    Your mil I'm glad there's been some breakthroughs. I wonder too if her memories affected in any way.
    Another way around this could be cooking at home to take your gluten free food with you though you may not need to it looks like hopefully anyway.

    Good hearing your brace is giving your foot support. Hope it wasnt too bad without it. Hard being feet isnt it. Any parts of our bodies really but feet back hips knees carry the bulk of our bodies.

    Mentioned elsewhere the flowers and petals sound great. Putting positives in the petals I like how you find different ways of giving yourself a chance to find peace.

    Scrapbooking is very popular I haven't seen much but heard a lot. Sounds varied and any craft has a good affect on our minds allowing pleasure something to focus on achievement etc.

    True Grandz 💜 BP sure has a knack at us feeling so deeply with small comments, main reason after researching I wondered was the wall being down. Don't know. Sorry Doolsy deviated a bit. That book sounds good whats the name huns please

    Doolsy Grandz thanks so much for your support over yonder ☺

    You mentioned you were thinking about colour I think what made me consider it is the coloured steps in your sleep thread starting at Red ending in Indigo was the mains so I guess research has something those colours we associate in our minds and bb here the butterfly has one Red wing the others yellowy orange.

    Hope life's picking up Doolsy and all 🕊
    1 person found this helpful
  5. Doolhof
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Doolhof avatar
    8823 posts
    6 May 2019 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi Deebi and All Reading,

    The book I bought is called "The Dialectical Behaviour Therapy Skills Workbook" by Matthew McKay and a couple of other blokes, all with initials after their names. It is published by Harbinger Publications.

    One time my sister who has a doctorate in Nursling, invited me to a conference. Everyone had initials after their names, I was going to write BPD after my name...Borderline Personality Disorder! Ha. Ha. I wonder if any of them would have known what it stood for.

    Today I spent time out in the garden again and enjoyed the sunshine. I have been raking up a lot of gum leaves and bark. Removing sticks will make it easier when the grass and weeds eventually grow.

    I called in to see some friends who had some things for my husband, so I took along some gluten free crackers so I could join them for a cuppa and something to eat. I don't expect people to have something when I call in with very little notice.

    Yes, I have taken food to my in laws previously and to a friend's home as well.

    Regarding BPD and emotions, when I have it bad, someone just has to walk past me and my mind immediately thinks the worst thing in the world about that person and myself! I know it is all in the mind and isn't at all realistic or true. Just part of the illness that I need to be aware of!

    I've not done much scrap booking, but do like a lot of the papers for other craft activities and for decorating my journal.

    For my journal, I drew a tree with a wide trunk and many leaves. In the trunk I wrote words about personal growth and strength. In the leaves I wrote a lot of words relating to positivity, happiness and peace.

    Having a different kind of visual way of showing helpful words and attitudes adds to the journal.

    I had a good day today! All I need now is to sleep better tonight!

    Thinking of you Deebi, Grandy and all reading. Wishing you well.

    Cheers from Bev

    3 people found this helpful
  6. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    9876 posts
    13 May 2019 in reply to Doolhof

    Hello Dearest Mrs Dools...

    I have been thinking about you the past few days more then I usually do and I just so much wanted to call in and ask you RUOK?...

    I like the things your doing in your journal...I hope it’s okay and you don’t mind if I copy your tree idea...it sounds really a nice way to do things...

    Its hard isn’t it...To train our minds to try to start thinking logical..I mean when we’re down...we know our mind is not telling us the truth..yet we seem to believe it without questioning it..until it’s too late...I think that we must try to understand that we know who we are...and believe in ourself and not listen to our negative thoughts....

    I really hope your doing okay precious lady...and your managing to get outside in your garden for a little sit down..about the only thing I have growing and thriving is my cherry tomato vine...it’s really giving me some yummy tomatoes daily...I cover it nightly...to keep the frost off...Oh and I only got 2 Oranges this year😁😂...My lemon tree...no lemons this year...

    I hope you’ve been doing better then okay...and I’m wishing you a good sleep and sweet dreams...

    Sending you some love and some gentle caring hugs...💜🤗🤗....

    Take good care of you dear Mrs Dools...and be very gentle and loving towards you....please...

    Grandy..

    2 people found this helpful
  7. Doolhof
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Doolhof avatar
    8823 posts
    14 May 2019 in reply to Ggrand

    Dear Grandy,

    Thanks for dropping by. We've had a little rain here and now the weeds are starting to grow, the plants in the garden are not all covered in dirt and I am hoping we get enough rain to enable some plants to regenerate again. I think we have lost a few bushes that will not recover.

    Hope you get some rain in your area. Sounds like the tomato plant is doing well!

    As for me, I travelled with my sister to catch up with my Mum for Mother's Day for a few days. My other sibling joined us. My sister and I had asked Mum if we could clean the house for them as a gift, Mum did not tell Dad we would be doing that and he had his nose point out of joint.

    There were a few "interesting" moments over a few days. Including a very heated argument that was unsettling.

    Amongst all that, there were lovely walks, a few laughs and pleasant times together.

    A friend sent me a text message wishing me a Happy Mother's Day. It had me in tears as no-one usually recognises me on Mother's Day and how I may be feeling. I felt so emotional I told the family I needed to go for a walk and had a cry.

    When I returned it was like nothing had happened and I had held everyone up as we were going out for a drive. They were sitting there huffing and puffing waiting for me.

    Yesterday I happened to have an appointment in the city and drove to the cemetery where 2 of our babies are buried. I went there for a while and cried.

    Last night I attended a forum for setting up a Suicide Prevention service in our region.

    This morning I think I am overcome with a whole load of different emotions and feelings, thoughts and reactions I have not yet had the time to process and deal with. There have been multiple triggers the last few days.

    Might be a good time to get my journals out and write stuff down, the good and the not so pleasant.

    I have another appointment to attend this morning, and will then be going to the home for the elderly so I will try and do some writing this morning before I leave.

    There are a lot of thoughts and old hurtful memories buzzing around in my head so I need to deal with those, accept them, find a way to move on and add happy, positive and helpful thoughts and emotions to my mind.

    Hope you are doing okay Grandy.

    Cheers to you and all reading! Hope you have a lovely day! From Mrs. Dools

    4 people found this helpful
  8. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7817 posts
    14 May 2019 in reply to Doolhof

    Dear Doolsy 🤗 and everyone ☺

    Doolsy thank you for your kindness and support at mine. I'm on the mend again. Felt awful leaving your post unanswered but read and you know you're very loved and cared about here ⚘ I wasn't in any shape to be of help to anyone but slowly improves ☺

    You dear lady and Grandy too have yet again been through a terribly painful reminder on Mothers day, my warmest love goes out to you both 🤗💗💜

    Sounds like amongst hard times geez what a shame in family at least it can't be harmonious sorry hearing Doolsy. You're amazing good for you going out releasing pain and being upbeat after.

    You have every reason dear Doolsy to be off kilter. As easy as this sounds try hard lovely lady to be aware of your thoughts. When our thoughts continue to roll with emotional pain by acknowledging it hurts and how we feel about it, it cascades into deeper depression. Anytime you need to talk Doolsy you know you're being heard and you have understanding & friends close by here.

    Good your journalling I love how you do so much to avoid beasty. I'm amongst many here admiring your stamina and courage

    Just a reminder lovey to if it might help keep looking at your hat box to prompt happies. I know this can be tricky but is well worth it, if you can try to focus on the laughs and good moments I'm so glad you had a few. As we know in depression and MH issues we hyper focus on the negatives which is cruel isn't it. If we can habit focusing on goods less room for nasty downs to invade us.

    Glad hearing you had some healthy rain. There's many weeds with those insy winsy tiny widdle perfect flowers and often the colours vibrant I like one I've got growing in water atm, they're similar to pig face and grow on runners. These are a striking deep Pink. Then there's some little Yellows like orchids tinsy things. They just sit in the ground get trampled and their beauties ignored by many.

    If you're up to it Doolsy keep us in touch with how you are ☺

    Never doubt your strength good lady you have it in spades. You're incredible. A pleasure knowing you and calling you a friend ☺

    With love and care

    🤗⚘

    1 person found this helpful
  9. Doolhof
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Doolhof avatar
    8823 posts
    14 May 2019 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi Deebi,

    Thanks. Good to know you are feeling a little better yourself. It can take a lot of effort! So pleased you are in a better space. It is lovely looking out for beauty and things to appreciate around us as well, even if it is spotting tiny flowers that are weeds.

    I had an appointment with the new counsellor lady which was meant to have been yesterday. It did not work well going straight from there to the volunteering in the home for the elderly today. I have asked her if we can change back to a Monday.

    When I arrived at the home for the elderly things didn't go so well, so I was there for only 15 minutes before I decided to go home.

    I have spent some time in the garden walking around aimlessly then sitting to watch the birds. I sawed off some dead branches from bushes then sat outside and read for a while.

    Having trouble getting interested in anything, at least I feel a bit more settled, sort of.

    Hopefully tomorrow will be an easier day emotionally!

    Cheers from Dools

    3 people found this helpful
  10. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    9876 posts
    15 May 2019 in reply to Doolhof

    Hello Mrs Dools..

    I hope you are okay...It’s hard to go from psych visit to work..too much circling our brain trying to process the visit...It’s okay you had to go home..I have left my volunteer work several times when I’m all ready and down...The important thing is to care for you dear lady...l

    When I’m down Deebi usually lets me select me a letter of the alphabet to make as many positives words and how they make me feel...it really does work dear Mrs Dools..only if you want to no pressure sweetie..what letter will you pick...It’s your choice if you want to share on here no pressure...

    I have no power today due to a power outage, from 9am to 4pm...they are putting up a new pole and trimming trees..my gum tree being one of them...I sat outside this morning after seeing many king parrots sitting and beeping in the gum tree..there were cockatoos as well..I added seed to my bird feeder..before I moved away down came the king parrots...Awe poor king parrots were feeding until the cockatoos came down from the gumbtree to feed..then they flew back up to the tree...Then I named all the birds that were hanging around..that’s another good distraction I like to do..and I feel pleasure from knowing I have fed them...

    I sense you also love birds and your garden...I hope they brought you some peace today...Hard work sawing of branches of bushes.very scratchy work....well done..

    Beasty doesn’t want us to be interested in anything except what it’s telling our mind..We have to try to counter react to those thoughts by doing so it Choof s beasty away for a while and we get stronger..

    Its hard finding something to interest us...I really hope you do precious lady...Have you tried the new 3D diamond painting...it takes a lot of concerntration and looks beautiful even as your doing it...One day I’ll see mine finished😂..

    Sorry Mrs Dools I’m not much help for you..Just rambling on to distract me and I suppose by reading my words.lit will give you a few minutes distraction...

    Please dear Mrs Dool...take really good care of you, be gentle and kind to you and talk to yourself as you would talk to us here on BB...Your a beautiful lady with a heart of gold that we all love...and care about so much...

    Sending you some love and some warm caring hugs..💜🤗🤗..l hope the hugs helps you darling..to let you know that your cared for..💜..

    Grandy..

    4 people found this helpful
  11. Doolhof
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Doolhof avatar
    8823 posts
    15 May 2019 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi Grandy and all reading,

    Yesterday I used one of the phone help lines and had a chat with a lovely lady who helped me immensely. I wasn't going to use those numbers again after my last episode that ended in me being taken to hospital. I now realise everyone was just doing their job.

    I felt a sense of achievement after having sawn off some branches. I hope to do more before the rains set in.

    Grandy, I bought a book about Australian birds from the Op Shop, it has very small pictures in it though so I need a magnifying glass to see the birds! Ha. Ha. I enjoy hearing the birds and seeing them in the garden.

    Today I went to the writing group and then grocery shopping. I admired all the different colours of the fruit and vegetables and the bunches of flowers.

    At home, I took my lunch into the garden and did some more writing in my journal to get rid of more unhelpful thoughts. Then thought of happies as I think Deebi calls them and choofed off the negatives!

    I'm feeling so much better and am so pleased I was able to recognise how low I was becoming and did a few things to counter act that.

    I've booked myself in for a physio appointment so that will help with a few aches and pains as well.

    I've not tried the new 3D diamond painting, it does sound interesting. I have a few projects ranging from crotchet to quilting that I really should finish. I might get my hand embroidery out again, that can be relaxing.

    Deebi's suggestion about positive words and how they make you feel is a good idea. I sometimes have trouble coming up with words and use a dictionary or thesaurus.

    Hope you coped alright without any power. It is amazing how much we rely on power for everything.

    You have been a lot of help Grandy, I so appreciate it when people drop in to say HI, are supportive and encouraging or just having a chat.

    Tomorrow is Op Shop day.

    All the best to you and all reading.

    Cheers from Dools

    4 people found this helpful
  12. Peppermintbach
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Peppermintbach avatar
    4566 posts
    15 May 2019 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi Dools (and a wave to all),

    I must say that that’s an impressive list of coping strategies, relaxation activities and other interests you have there :)

    Good on you for calling the helpline too. It sounds like it made an enormous difference, and for that, I’m happy and relieved for you...

    I feel you have such a beautiful outlook and manage to maintain this deep compassion, despite your ongoing struggles. A class act :)

    All the best at the op shop tomorrow (you and Grandy have that in common as I think she works in one).

    Pepper xoxo

    2 people found this helpful
  13. Doolhof
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Doolhof avatar
    8823 posts
    16 May 2019 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Hi Pepper,

    Lovely to read your comments. Hope you are well.

    I'm trying to accept my not so pleasant days, work out if there are any triggers, deal with those and try to make the day better when I can.

    Today at the Op Shop I greeted quite a few of the customers with a hello and a brief chat. One lady commented on how unexpected that was! It doesn't take much to say hello and I enjoy the interaction if people choose to have a brief chat.

    I had some reading to do so took that outside and sat in the sun. I have been told my Vitamin D levels are low, so I am to be in the sun for 1/2 an hour a day and take Vitamin D pills so will see if that helps.

    Today I also wrote all the happy, positive and lovely moments from my time visiting Mum and Dad and other family over the Mother's Day weekend.

    I reflected on the not so positive moments of the weekend, thought about what had happened, and decided I don't need to store those memories in my mind. If they surface again, I will consider them, then try to move on.

    While I am feel better about life, I really want to make the most of each day, find new strategies and skills that will help me and build up my resilience even more.

    Tomorrow I will be attending a funeral so will keep active before I leave home. Might be a good time to fill up the wood boxes and saw some more branches, watch the birds and maybe write a couple of letters I need to respond to.

    I was given some old magazines at the Op Shop so will see if I can cut some pictures out and make a nice collage from them. Yes, I do believe Grandy works in an Op Shop as well. Hopefully her fellow workers are as lovely as the people I work with!

    Feeling rather tired so might not respond to others here on the forum right now, just wanted to respond to you Pepper. Thanks again for dropping by!

    Cheers all from Dools

    3 people found this helpful
  14. Peppermintbach
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Peppermintbach avatar
    4566 posts
    17 May 2019 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi Dools (and a wave to all),

    I hope you held up okay at the funeral today. I know funerals can understandably be very emotional for some people. Then again, I also realise everyone responds and processes loss differently...

    Also, you’re lovely and very thoughtful to take some time out to respond to me :) That being said, I feel there’s never any rush or obligation to reply if you’re struggling. I understand that side of things too...

    But while I’m on the topic of thoughtfulness, I think it’s really nice of you to try to connect with people at the op shop. We never know what the next person is going through, and that simple act of starting a conversation/making someone feel less alone for a little bit can make an enormous difference in someone’s lives. You’re doing a good thing there, and I want you to know that...

    Those not so pleasant moments you had during the weekend sound rough. I’m glad you’re trying your best to manage your feelings as best you can...

    I hope you were able to do some bird watching today as you had planned. They’re such gorgeous creatures :)

    Pepper xoxo

    2 people found this helpful
  15. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7817 posts
    18 May 2019 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi lovely Doolsy 🤗 and your lovely friends ☺

    Just popping in to say hi and hope you managed as well as can be expected at the funeral. Never easy are they.

    Sounds like you're keeping yourself busy and finding ways of dealing. Awesome. I like how you thought about unpleasant parts and decided you don't need to keep those memories. Good for you, thats the way.

    It's nice having little chats with people. I usually say bits to ladies at op shops too.

    Hope both sides of your healths holding up for you dear Doolsy.

    No need to reply just want you to know I'm with you amongst many dear lady.

    Hope you get to spend some quality time in the garden listening to the beautiful birds chatting away and see some gorgeous flowers and trees.

    See you later darl. Love and care Deebi 💗

    2 people found this helpful
  16. Doolhof
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Doolhof avatar
    8823 posts
    18 May 2019 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Hi Pepper, Deebi and All,

    I like responding to people here on the forum, it provides me with another form of feeling connected and part of a community.

    For me it is also important to be part of groups and society as well as family and friends. Even if I am not close to people emotionally, there can still be a connection.

    The funeral was beautifully done, I really enjoyed the compassion of the minister conducting the service. It also made me realise how different my husband's beliefs are from mine, so we might benefit in having a talk about how we would like our funerals to be conducted.

    I was talking with a friend at the funeral and said I might write up my own eulogy now, we don't have children so if my husband is already dead who will know what to say? I said I could write what ever I wanted! I would want to reflect positivity, be humorous in places and maybe let out a few secrets! I will be dead so it won't matter! Ha. Ha.

    I spent quite some time in the garden and will do so again today. The bird song was lovely from a variety of birds.

    In the evening I made collages on two pages of my journal and added some positive and helpful quotes I had printed off the computer.

    Pepper, there were quite some fireworks going off over the weekend between family members. One of my siblings even came over and punched me, I am still not sure what that was about.

    My thoughts drifted to that person this morning. They obviously are hurting for some reason so I hope they are able to find some sense of peace or help to deal with their issues.

    Dear Pepper, Deebi, Grandy and all reading, I hope you all find things to be thankful for today and if you are experiencing issues, please find ways to deal with them and not let them build up and become huge issues.

    Cheers all from Dools

    4 people found this helpful
  17. startingnew
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    startingnew avatar
    5861 posts
    24 May 2019 in reply to Doolhof

    Thinking of you Mrs D and hoping that your going ok

    🕊❤

    2 people found this helpful
  18. Doolhof
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Doolhof avatar
    8823 posts
    24 May 2019 in reply to startingnew

    Hi Startingnew,

    Lovely of you to drop in. Thanks for the message.

    Mostly I am doing okay, then part of me is not coping so well, so I will try to increase the stuff that is going okay and working well. Does that even make sense?

    My head is a little messed up with now!

    ope you are doing okay.

    Cheers from Dools

    2 people found this helpful
  19. Doolhof
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Doolhof avatar
    8823 posts
    25 May 2019 in reply to startingnew

    Hi Startingnew,

    I will try again! I was not in a good place yesterday. This morning I am working on thinking and doing things differently. I am also wondering if a medication I have been given for a medical problem is causing a few issues, so I will need to discuss that with my Dr.

    We may be getting rain here this weekend which will be a huge improvement on the massive dust storm we had yesterday! It is amazing how much dirt gets inside!

    We have friends coming over tonight so I am going to bake us a gluten free cake.

    Later on I will write some positive moments in my journal, like the time I had in the Op Shop on Thursday talking to an adorable little boy (after asking his Mum if I could chat with him). He was so sweet and had shoes that lit up, he jumped around showing off his shoes.

    I have an unexpected appointment next week with a psychologist attached to the job agency I attend so I am curious what that is about.

    One day a week I volunteer in a home for the elderly and generally enjoy that. I am learning there is quite a hierarchy happening amongst some of the volunteers! I don't want to get messed up in that so will leave them to it and just concentrate on the residents.

    Hope you are doing okay SN.

    Cheers to you and all reading from Dools

    3 people found this helpful
  20. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    14397 posts
    25 May 2019 in reply to Doolhof

    Mrsd Dool and everyone reading,

    I read the posts but I don’t often post.

    I like your description of the little boy being excite by his shoes. I still get excited by new shoes and want to show them off but as an adult one feels restrained by displaying excitement over one’s shoes!!

    I like your insight into the structure of the volunteers at the aged care home. I always found at work or volunteering the best way is to get on with the job and avoid the politics which can be hard.

    When you feel at your best, do you find it hard to help the older residents or do they help you?

    Quirky

    2 people found this helpful
  21. Doolhof
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Doolhof avatar
    8823 posts
    25 May 2019 in reply to quirkywords

    Hey Quirky,

    Enjoy your shoes! Dance around in them, kick your feet up, show them to people!

    Maybe as adults we tend to withdraw from showing happiness, joy, pleasure and excitement at times.

    A laugh can be contagious as can be a smile so why not a happy moment sharing something that makes us feel good.

    Regarding the residents, some of them bring so much pleasure to my day, I enjoy laughing with them and also crying with them if that is what is happening at that time. Then I try to make them smile again.

    My heart goes out to the people who appear lonely or maybe a little lost. I try to connect with them. Even if it is just with a smile or a touch on their arm.

    Returning to the idea of being happy, one day I was at the beach, I sat down and made a sand castle. Some people gave me a wide birth as though I was a nut case...an adult making a sand castle! A couple laughed and gave me a smile and asked if I was having fun. One guy even said he wished he had the guts to join me!

    Why do we suffocate or restrain opportunities for happiness? I will consider that myself and find ways to add more joy to each day.

    Cheers to you all from Dools

    4 people found this helpful
  22. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7817 posts
    29 May 2019 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi there dear Doolsy 🤗 a good loving hug to carry you through your day.

    I've been listening and keeping an eye on you just not posting much around for a while. Thank you for your support too in my darks always love your company. Not just words I assure you.

    Yes I too feel for people that are lonely, it's very sad unnecessary and cruel space to be in. The elderly are beautiful people mostly to be around. I have no doubt you'd be a bright light in their lives.

    How's your foot heart body behaving Doolsy and mentally how are you going? Your recent posts have that lovely positivity about them true to your courageous journey towards peace. I love hearing about the different things you do and admire your motivation and stamina. You really are an inspiration to many including myself, I've learnt a lot from you amongst many here.

    Thought maybe we could grab some of our lovelies here and hava cuppa in your garden and watch your upside down (I know I go on about it but love it) birdies, & hear them singing their cheerful melodies and a general chit chat while we relax in the cooler I imagine for you too like Grandy now sun.

    I'll bake a gluten free and how's this calorie free in virtual land 🍰choccy of course cake but tastes as fattening as can be.

    Care very much about you Doolsy. Thank you for being such a lovely person. Pleasure knowing you.

    Love and often thoughts ⚘

    2 people found this helpful
  23. Doolhof
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Doolhof avatar
    8823 posts
    29 May 2019 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi Deebi and All Reading,

    I've had a bit of a "hiccup" in my mental health thanks to a reaction to a medication for a physical medical condition. Seems my system is susceptible to this now. At least I am aware of what is happening and stopped the medication. The effects will take a while to disappear I guess.

    Today I decided to drag sticks and branches down tot he future bon fire site. I noticed the cows across from the old rail way lines were close to the fence, so I went over to say "HI" and pulled up some grass for them.

    I hadn't noticed the electric fence until it zapped me! That certainly woke me up! Ha. Ha.

    Had a nice day in the home for the elderly. One gentleman usually walks around a lot, I invited him to stop for a chat while us volunteers were having lunch, he talked for quite a while and answered my questions. The others were amazed when he left again. No one had ever thought to ask him questions and invite him to sit down with them.

    I'm working hard on choofing off the negative thoughts!

    Hope you are doing okay Deebi.

    Cheers and thanks for all the best wishes and kindness. Cheers from Dools

    4 people found this helpful
  24. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7817 posts
    1 June 2019 in reply to Doolhof

    Dear Mrs Doolsy and all ☺
    How are you darls?
    You're very welcome every words truth.

    You surely cop a continuous roll don't you poor lady. Excellent you were on what was going on with meds. I hope it's not too severe and settles sooner than later. With luck your MH might ease off somewhat. Were you on those ones long?

    How good the future bonfire sounds. Mesmerising watching fire same with water as you'd know from your beach times. Such a shame we cant be in touch here I live in paradise and surrounded by water and beaches. There are several here I'd be happy to put up in the spare room you'd love it here and our beautiful Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 too.Talking of I know you get on well with her the darling but wasn't sure whether to let you know she was in hospital. Was thinking might put pressure on you to post there?

    Cows are cruisy aren't they. Just mozzying along and it seems not to much agro. Saw a pretty much full size one evidentally still a youngy playing with maybe Mum and sister or Aunty. Was exhilarating they were bumping into eachother head butting & youngy had that youthful spring in it's little jumps. I'll never forget that just like you'll probs never forget that fence 😅 they give a decent tingle don't they.

    Been thinking about you talking to the elderly gentleman. It would have given him such a lift in his life. Yes it's a buzz helping people.

    Hows the choofing going Doolsy. Ditto. I can see the power in positive thinking. I'm randomly
    working on words and letter association I hope to click onto some easy to remember positive affirmations. One was there is HOPE to get better with..

    H.. Help out there to
    O.. Overcome my
    P.. pain
    E.. Eventually for eternal peace

    There's more to that one. It helped a bit but I want to get letter words I could call them with deeper affirmations on how to get through.
    I have so many downs With BP I'm a rapid cycler (4 + a fairly fast) I have a lot which is increasing. The repetition will help convince myself constructively how to get through. In fragments I'm starting to get the pieces of the Jigsaw in largely thx to bb & the Lovely community here.

    When I get some words I aim to memorize & habit them to be my go to in hards.

    Doolsy how are you going with computers. I'd be happy to help if you have any ? I've got some knowledge and can often figure out things & ask friends.

    Have a great day Doolsy ⚘(Bev?) and everyone 🌱new beginnings


    2 people found this helpful
  25. Doolhof
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Doolhof avatar
    8823 posts
    1 June 2019 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi Deebi,

    Thanks for dropping in. I am really struggling and know how easy it would be for me to fall into a huge heap right now, so I am trying to accept these feelings while finding ways to move on. Part of me just wants to give up, but I know that is not the answer!

    It seems the medication glitch, confusion with diagnosis from the Doctors and the employment hassles was all too much in one week.

    I'm working on things to do to keep myself busy so I can't think too much.

    Yes, I did read that Grandy was in hospital again, not sure when she was admitted. I did send her a message to let her know I was thinking of her.

    This battle can be so darn hard at times!

    At the home for the elderly I do look out for the people who are by themselves. I know some people like their own company and that is fine, I like to just go up to them, say hello and you soon know if they want a chat or to be left alone.

    I have written down the HOPE words you used Deebi. Thanks for that. I like to write positives in my journal to look at later.

    I might go down later and see if the cows are close to the fence again. Need to find a safer way to get over our fence! Ha. Ha. Need to watch out for that electric fence of the neighbour's as well.

    Friends have invited us to lunch tomorrow after I have been to Church and then we are going to watch our friend who is in a play that is supposed to be a comedy. I could do with a good laugh!

    Hope you are cruising along okay Deebi. I have a lot of choofing to do today!

    Cheers to you from Doolsy

    3 people found this helpful
  26. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7817 posts
    1 June 2019 in reply to Doolhof

    Hey Doolsy ☺🤗

    Poor love I thought you were doing it hard 🤝

    That's the way hun keep that mindset that it's not the right answer. Truth

    Doolsy I'm in struggle St too and holding not too bad, my harder parts are ahead.

    Yesterday in bed I had a steel mindset moment. I didn't but felt it in my eyes, saying nah I'm going to get through this. Just need to keep reinforcing that and remembering the goods.

    I've been here at yours for hrs, nearly got a I'm hoping helpful affirmation technique worked out. I'll let you know when/where it lands hopefully soon.

    Wow just a few seconds ago I was going to say I'll be back later (bbl). Spent about 10 minutes trying to think what to say to you because I decided to finish the above later and was at a complete stop. I started to say that and boom... start your engines..vroom

    I've been doing a fair bit of beasty choofing too and got through a panic attack mongrels they are.

    I'm here and there atm with concentration so I'll choof soon to Grandys (yes I saw your posts, the first one I knew you were in the deeps)

    Doolsy I'm learning a lot more. We have a phenomenal (excuse the pun) mindblowing relatively untapped power at our disposal with our brains. When we learn how to drive them and there's definately knowledge, ways and help there'll be no stopping us. Seriously I know now ok let's say 90% sure the majority of us can reach not only peace but for most of us even a taste at times. If not most of the time supreme happiness. I have some reasons to back this. Some I can't discuss here but it doesn't need to be. Basically it's definately do able. Hold on darl and believe it really helps that you can and will get through. I'm with you as often as I can 🤗

    Hope you sleep well. Often 🗯 truth.

    ⚘🌱

    I'm working on something that might also help on top of what your doing.

    Darl do you breath deeply much. It helps with energy and I know at times it's so hard to do but as often as you can it gets the oxygen to our bods that are tense and helps us relax.

    In with the good... out with the bad. Imagine your pain leaving your body as you breathe out.

    1 person found this helpful
  27. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    9876 posts
    1 June 2019 in reply to Doolhof

    Hello Mrs Dool, waves Deebi and everyone..

    I want to thank you for your lovely post to me and also say how really sorry your doing it hard again....

    I think there has to be more then one beasty..I mean I Choof it away...and it comes back again...it’s like an annoying pesky fly...that doesn’t get the message to Choof off for good....I am beginning to think that depression is now immune to my/our positive 💭 thoughts....

    I love cows 🐄 Mrs Dools...they are such a peaceful animal.I like the way they run, kicking their back feet up in the air..I went once to feed the cows across from me, but they run away..So now I just watch them from my veranda...it’s a shame about the electric fence..poor cows 🐄 can’t reach out for fresh grass on the other side of the fence..

    Sounds like you have a beautiful day planned tomorrow, Mrs Dools, friends are like golden little spurts of sunshine coming from their heart into yours....I really hope you enjoy your time with them... I’ve never watched a play? I have a lot of respect for anyone that can stand up in front of a lot of people and act or even talk....I’m wishing for you dear lovely lady a beautiful and enjoyable day tomorrow with lots of positive memories that you can remember in hard times..

    Please take good care of you Mrs Dools, and be so very gentle and kind to you....your so very important here and r/l...

    Sending you some love and hugs 🤗💜..and anyone who wants/needs them

    Grandy..

    2 people found this helpful
  28. Doolhof
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Doolhof avatar
    8823 posts
    1 June 2019 in reply to Ggrand

    Dear Grandy, Deebi and All reading,

    Thank you for your kind messages, encouragement and ideas on how to make life better.

    I forgot all about going down to the cows today. That is okay, I did manage to do washing, burnt our lunch, did dishes, helped my husband clean some gutters, cussed and cursed a bit and had a snooze in the afternoon then did the ironing.

    I am looking forward to tomorrow and hope I can choof those beasties off enough to enjoy the day.

    Hey Grandy, those negatives can seem over whelming, we can learn to accept them for what they are. We might not be able to choof them off all the time. Sometimes I believe we have to sit with them, accept them and work out what we can manage to do even with them sitting there along side of us.

    I used to love attending the end of year school plays and recitals my nieces were involved in. As there is about 5 years difference in their ages, I attended the primary school evenings for many years.

    Our friend has been in many plays so we have seen a few. Some of them are very good. It amazes me how people remember all of their lines!

    I remember doing plays at the end of the year at our school. One year I could not remember what I was meant to say, so I just made it up as I went along! Ha. Ha.

    Another friend was in one of the plays and did not have a speaking part, just acting. That I might be able to do!

    Grandy, I have a friend in Holland who tells me the cows are kept in barns over winter, when the weather is better, the farmers let them out. Maybe you could Google something like "Cows being released after winter" and see what comes up. I watched some clips and they were hilarious!

    Thanks again ladies, your friendship and care means a lot to me! Cheers from Dools

    2 people found this helpful
  29. Guest_1055
    Guest_1055 avatar
    7655 posts
    4 June 2019 in reply to Doolhof

    Hello Mrs D and hello everyone else

    I am unsure whether you like music Mrs D. But I was thinking of you as I listened to this song today. Its called Chain Breaker by Zach Williams. If you are interested just type in Google the name of the song and who sings it.

    It almost brought tears to my eyes as it was speaking to me today. It was like I saw depression, sadness, pain, fear and loneliness like a chain that sometimes ties me up. And wondered if you felt the same or something similar.

    Anyway I am thinking Satan, the beastie or whatever you want to call it. Well he hates it when we sing songs like this. Songs that draw our attention back to God. I am thinking He is the one that breaks these chains that appear to grip us. Or even He has already broken them and set us all free. It is just we start to believe the lies and feel chained again.

    Anyway I think it would help if we sing songs like this. Maybe you already do this.

    Thinking of you.

    2 people found this helpful
  30. Doolhof
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Doolhof avatar
    8823 posts
    4 June 2019 in reply to Guest_1055

    Hi Shelley,

    hanks so much for sharing this with me. Quite often I forget about music and the healing powers it can have. I guess my husband is so often listening to sport on the T.V. I don't consider having music playing as well. No excuse not to when he is not home.

    I did listen to the song you mentioned and also printed out the words, as like you mentioned, they are worthy of remembering. I am going to glue the words into my journal. I might try and draw a picture to go with the song.

    I'm quite often telling Satan to get lost and try to focus on all the love, care, guidance and forgiveness God offers, not to mention hope.

    Earlier I was Googling Christian expressions of hope. Just expressions of Hope in general are so beneficial.

    While at the home for the elderly today I had moments of happiness, sharing time with some of the people there. I may not have a paid job at present, at least I can do something to try to make other people's lives more pleasurable.

    Thanks for dropping by Shelley.

    Cheers from Mrs. D

    4 people found this helpful

Stay in touch with us

Sign up below for regular emails filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones.


Sign me up