Healing hugs thoughts warmth and care always dear Doolsy.

Good to know a reason. I remember the last time with meds.

Don't believe beasties lies. You're better than that.

🤗☺⚘🌱

Hi DB and all,

I need to take your suggestion to heart DB to not believe the lies or incorrect thoughts that are going on in my head.

My husband has gone on another overseas holiday with his mates, leaving me home to look after the cat and the house. I have found this really hard to deal with.

My mind is so conflicted. I love him and yet I hate him at the same time. Part of me wants to leave, but I have no where to go.

Before he left, he told me it was a good thing he was getting home at a reasonable time so I could do his washing for him as he is taking all of his underwear on holidays with him! I asked him what made him think I would want to be doing his washing straight away after the long drive to the airport and back.

The job agency people keep changing the rules on me. That is doing my head in as I am allowing it to!

Someone whom I thought was there to help me isn't.

I need to find the strength to help myself more. I am trying to add more pleasurable things to my life.

Yesterday I brought my paints out and have them on the kitchen table. I tried a couple of different painting styles I saw on You Tube. One didn't work so well so I need to go back and look at the instructions again.

Now that my husband has gone, that stress and anxiety of him leaving has eased a little. He is gone and there is nothing I can do about it.

I can waste my days crying or try and be a little more positive.

The effects of the medication induced deep depression is easing off as well thankfully. I think that just triggered past depression episodes.

Anyway, off to the Op Shop today and the Employment agency. See what they have in store for me this week. I will try to hold my head high while I am in their office.

Hope you are doing okay DB and All reading,

Cheers from Dools

Dear Doolsy 🤗 hi everyone ☺

I've always felt for you living where you're not happy and the extremely poor services. Your physical pain I quite often think how you're going actually and yes/no happy in your marriage.

I think you are incredibly strong, it takes a lot of courage to keep pushing through with mental anguish especially in your circumstances and terribly hard life dealings.

[IT's] xx like vice depression isn't it especially when it's deep it feels like we're completely consumed with a Black or dark blanket around our head.

I think the way to lift it and let light in hun is exactly what you're talking about doing some more positive things.

Probs said before but what helps me a lot is reiterating to myself this isn't permanent it'll pass.
Also I say I don't want to feel this way because if we keep in mind it's our own thoughts and our reactions to them.
Not sure what causes the feeling maybe lack of energy takes us to our vulnerable times of deep pain.

Depression uses a lot of energy so it's still there surprisingly in exhaustion.
If we can use it for good memories. Thoughts of what we want to achieve and of people we love and what we enjoy doing.
Even one thought is a break from pain and allows a touch of light.

Could you stay with your sister darl for a while.
If you moved on I imagine somewhere amongst nature would suit you and rents cheaper usually in rural areas or near a beach.

A few pleasants if you can try to remember how you felt in these times lovely brave lady 🤗

• Feeding your cute lambs
• Trees
• Birdies singing
• Driftwood
• Craft
• Painting
• Flowers
• Time in the garden
• Being company for the elderly
• Conversing with that lonely lady
• Chatting to people at the op shop
• Laughing with people
• Kittens
• Time with your loving sister
• Beach shells freedom peace
• People that care and love you like us.

You matter to many Doolsy. You're a really lovely compassionate kind fun lady you deserve a good life. It's in us hun.

Often thoughts.

Sitting with you and our friends in the garden setting with pretty flowers in bloom amongst trees.

Hold in there lovey we're with you 🤝😊💗

Dear precious DB,

Thanks so much. I will try to take your suggestions to heart.

Right now it hurts like crazy. I don't want to do this anymore.

I need to remind myself things can change.

Right now the tears are falling. Guess they are healing.

My sister is away for a few days and my other sister is visiting next week. The second sister has her own mental health issues so it could be an interesting visit.

More tears. I've got to go.

Cheers from Dools.

It seems my husband can send out Facebook Messages to his mates but not to his wife!

At least I know he is still alive I guess!

Mrs Dools,

Sorry you are in a teary place unless the tears help in some way.

I have no words of wisdom but I do believe and hope things change and for the better.

I used to find out when my children had arrived overseas because of what they said on someone else FB page!

I am thinking of you.

Quirky

Our Dear Doolsy ⚘ Hi lovely people 😊

First up hun feel this and anyone that needs a good hug and I do mean good.
The energy you feel is giving you warmth comfort love and healing.

Every time you remember take one ☺
Feel it ... breath with it ....nice and slowly... calmly and deep... focusing ONLY on this Doolsy love.
Hold for a couple then slowly out feeling your pain leaving your body.

In with flowers out with pain.

How terribly hurtful on fb and some of the ways you're treated. My heart really goes out to you

Holding your hand good lady so is everyone here because you're never alone

I think too crying is release.
It could be the beginning of healing what a good way of looking at it.

I hope your visit from your sister no: 2 gives you an opportunity to open up and let the pain out.
Her having mh too hopefully she'll understand and be a comfort to you dear Dools. Ahh darlin 💗 it's just not bloody fair is it.

I know lovey it's so damned hard and you're SO sick of it and don't want it anymore 🤗 It's like that but only temporarily

Lovelyheart this is the times to draw on your deepest strength... it's there.

If we tap into our energy that goes into the pain... we can gain strength to lift out by using the pain hurt and anger as a force

Believe in yourself sweet I know you can rise.

Also darl the best thing you can do from experience is NOT allow thoughts of giving up...the depressed mind follows that pattern.

You need every chance at keeping the paths open to healing

Don't let this or any body beat you!

You deserve happiness and peace. You're such a beautiful person.

While you breath and your heart beats there's hope for better.

Stay with us beautiful lady. You're so loved and appreciated.

Always here for you 🤗⚘🍃🌿

Hi Everyone,

I'm having trouble finding the stop button for my thoughts and depression!

Don't seem to have any problems with the stop button for trying to do enjoyable and productive things. That seems to be on hold or stuck on stop for the moment.

Knowing what helps and actually putting those things into motion is not always easy.

How do others push yourselves when you are feeling stuck?

Cheers all from Dools

Dear Mrs Dool🌷...

It is hard to find our tools and put them to good use for us..

Beasty..has been..yelling...screaming at me now for a while and I’m finding it hard to stop it..

A few days ago I tried to get into a fantasy world and posted it here..it gave me a few hours break from my negatives...but they came back again....persistent bugger is depressive thoughts....Are you able to take your mind away with writing out a fantasy story...

I didn’t want to work today...because of bursts of tears...I wasn’t going to go until my GP rang me and told me she needed to see me about some recent tests....I dragged myself out to see her....then decided to go to my volunteer day at the op shop....That helped while I was there..back home again the thoughts began again....but not as constant...Maybe a day out with some friends...especially a chatty friend to keep your mind busy....

At home it’s hard...I know I should be doing things to help me...Pushing ourselves to do the things we know will help us..has to be a big want for us....

Mrs Dools....Do you like taking photos...When the birds come down to eat the seed I put out for them...they are so funny at times...and at times I have started to take a photo but instead sometimes when the are comical I will take a small video on my phone....Then I look back to them at times..to help get me out of my thoughts...

I don’t know what to say to you lovely lady that might help you even a little....What I do want to say is your important, very much loved and cared for here....I hang onto BB..and beautiful amazing people like you dear friend.....Please don’t give up...trying...it makes the downer worse...Anything that gives your mind a break from beasty pestering you is a step forward...whether it’s reading, watching nature..scrapbooking, listening to music...and singing along with it...watching the puffiness of the clouds, and imagine that they are holding you up..if you close your eyes and visualise yourself floating on them..feel yourself gently moving forward while your mind takes a rest with them....

I probably haven’t helped you precious lady...but I read your post and my heart hurt for you...your one of the most inspirational people I’ve ever had the honour to get to know, so I needed to try...

Big hugs 🤗..Mrs Dools...sent with my love..💖 and care 🕊...

Grandy...

Mrs dools,

this sentence is so true.

“Knowing what helps and actually putting those things into motion is not always easy.”

i find it easier to advise others but when I lack motivation I lack energy and even making a small effort is hard.

I often start things when I am stuck and I often don’t finish but I do start.

So my place if full of things started but not finished.

I wish I had a pause button for my thoughts.

Grandy I like the way you always rot to help other people on the forum

Quirky

Dear Grandy and Quirky,

Thank you both so much. You have both reached out to me and that means the world to me.

I'm stuck for words! I used to write so much, now the words won't come.

Wishing you both a lovely day!

Hugs from Dools

Dear Doolsy 🤗 hi everyone 🖐☺

I've wondered how you're going hun. Sadly you poor love still in a dark place. I'm sorry you're feeling so low it really isnt the way its supposed to be.

What helps me in the darks Doolsy is knowing that everytime before, theres been so many that there is another side to come out of into light.
Fortunately you have before too several times that I know of and I don't doubt they've been as hard as this or worse. It doesnt feel it but it IS in you to pull up again. We're here for you Doolsy 🤝

Another help I finds acknowledging this is beasty doing its thing. [IT]x strips us of everything that protects us like our walls and self preservation changing our thought pattern and is completely smothering isn't it but at least for most not permanent.

We or majority can I believe learn to take control over our thoughts.
We need to hear them so our work at least for now is best used on our emotional response to them.

Thought challenging helps. I need to read over the mindspot course again, brilliant btw by kinda exploring and looking further outside the thought. Dissecting it in a way.

• Why's it hurting
• Can I do anything to change it for the better
• Is there positives anywhere in the situation
• Mindspot said how will it affect you in a few wks mths etc.
With PTSD it does everytime I get down in BP (Bipolar) but not everyone has that so that can well work for many.

This is constructive thought challenging opposed to accepting a down thought and going with it which as you and many are aware the pain avalanches.

Doolsy love you know your scrapbook with all the positive memories if you glance through that hun and add thought of how it made you feel. Or maybe skit through a magazine. Redirect your focus. You desparately need happy light thoughts and feelings to squash out the constant darks causing pain.

You have a lot of love around you dear lady here included.

I hope your time with your sister was good or at least some lighter moments.

Always care about you and not to far away most of the time.

Hold on hun you can have and need to pull up again.
🤗🗯⚘🌿

Dear DB, Grandy and Quirky,

Once again thank you so very much for all your love, care and kindness. I know what you are all writing is so true.

Yesterday I almost drove myself to the hospital as I was concerned as to what I might do. One problem was who would feed the cat and the fish while I am away and check the farmer's sheep we have borrowed have water while my husband is still away.

Part of me didn't want to worry about any of that. Part of me wanted someone else to look after me for a while.

My husband comes home Sunday. Part of me doesn't want him to come home. I feel like his going on this holiday has just shown me how little he cares about my needs or me in general.

I have managed to change over job providers so I will see what the outcome of that is. I have to wait for an initial set up appointment with the new organisation. Hopefully I won't have panic attacks every time I walk in their office!

I feel so darn tired and stressed out it is horrible. I know it will get better. Just being in it right now is darn hard.

I've tried reaching out to some people here but no one seems to be listening or in a position to care.

Why are people so surprised when a person does manage to take their own life? Maybe some people still don't understand mental health issues are real, they are not just a crazy person's mixed up thoughts. They are a real medical condition.

I'm going to push myself to get to the Op Shop today, and to stay there for the day and not run away after just 10 minutes.

Later I will re-read what you have all written and try and find ways to add more cheer and pleasure to my life.

Thank you once again dear precious ladies, I know you all have your own struggles!

Cheers from Dools

Mrs Dools,

it is frustrating you reach out but no one listens,

Did you last all day at the op shop.?

You are trying so hard. has your husband asked how you are while he was away?

thinking of you

Quirky

Hi Quirky,

Yes, I managed to last all day in the Op Shop. I had moments where I felt like I was about to fall apart and burst into tears. I tried to keep busy.

At home I seem to wander around aimlessly or collapse on the couch and don't end up doing anything useful at all. Even making lists does not help. I look at them and just walk away doing nothing.

My husband did ask once how I was feeling, I wrote a text and said I was struggling. His next message didn't mention anything about it, he just told me all the excellent things he has been doing.

I asked my Dr today for suggestions on what I can do to help improve my mental health and get help and he couldn't come up with anything.

I asked for suggestions on what to do when the thoughts become very dark and I am concerned for my safety, he didn't have an answer for that either.

Guess I have to try and work that out for myself. It seems you dear people here have more understanding and more suggestions of how I can help myself.

Hopefully my mind will click into gear and I can move on from this hell.

Cheers from Dools

Hello Dools,

At home I seem to wander around aimlessly or collapse on the couch and don't end up doing anything useful at all. Even making lists does not help. I look at them and just walk away doing nothing.

I've been the same making lists, breaking the things down into small steps & still doing nothing. I was talking about it with my Psych recently & her suggestion was to make a list of what you have done not what needs doing. She said to include everything : got out of bed. got dressed, fed the dog, took meds, made cuppa etc. Apparently it's about filling your mind with positive rather than negative thoughts. Its still very early days for me & I'm still not managing to do it every day, but I thought I would share it in case you wanted to try it

Paws

Hey Paws,

Thanks. My mind is so stuck right now. Everything seems such an effort.

I can see how trying to appreciate the positives no matter how insignificant they may seem to a dark mind can be beneficial.

Maybe I will try and throw in some thankfulness and gratitude as well.

Thanks for sharing. I wish you well on your journey of redefining yourself and finding new ways to make life work for you.

Cheers to you from Dools

Dear Doolsy and all lovelies hi 🖐

Feel for you Doolsy really do 🤗

Darl in the past you've been so down and somehow you do find the strength to pull back up.

I guess your sleeps up the whoop atm but when you do start getting more usually that helps with strength.

Yes positives give a little light each time in dark times you poor love it's the pits. If theres anyone that can get through its you.

I was thinking today is there neighbours or sister or someone that can look after the animals and no I think its so beautiful of you to be concerned about them esp when you're feeling so down.

If you can sort something out if not for them (animals) maybe ring a social worker and explain you're in need of hospital they might be able to help or contact an animal place while you're away.

Doolsy please look after you. You're so important to so many.

How frustrating a Dr not knowing how to help. Appalling the services you poor people have in rural areas.

I'm keeping an eye out for you lovey.

Hold on huns. Try telling yourself you've had enough of being down, be firm and say I'm going to rise above this because I can and will. Changing the flow of thoughts in your favor.

Really hope you get decent rest dear friend.

Yes we do understand and care/love you.

🤗🗯⚘🌴🌻

Hi DB,

Giving up seems like the easier option right now.

I know I'm not well at the moment, both mentally and physically.

I doubt our local hospital could deal with my diet needs at present. The dietician is looking to see if I have a reaction to different chemicals in foods. The eating plan she wants me to go on is so restrictive. It also includes limiting all chemicals from your lifestyle including toothpaste, shampoos, deodorants, laundry liquids even in the environment!

I'm struggling with life right now let alone all of that on top of it. Why bother. Being dead you don't have to worry about any of that crap!

Hello Mrs Dools..

Im deeply saddened by your struggling so much...

Yes sweetheart it is hard when we’re down so low to fight for ourselves...I’ve never understood why our mind wants to hurt us...I mean it’s a part of us that controls our happiness and sadness and even worse...What your saying is no more worrying about things...Please try hard to know that this will pass....There has been a few times that I was thinking like you...not that long ago...

You have your mum and dad..sisters that love you so very much...and they are there to help you as we are...So much hurt and devastation will be something that they/we will all feel if you go down that path...Please don’t Sweetheart..not even think about it..your a precious lbeautiful lady who is struggling hard to see your goods your worth, your beautiful heart....You are so much needed and loved by so many...You have helped me many times since I’ve been on BB...as well as so many more people...

Is it possible for you to visit your sister for a few days when your hubby comes home..A change of scenery and being with caring loving people is as good as a holiday...If you can do this please do so...Hubby took a holiday..now it’s your turn..if you can and want to...

One tiny little bit of light can make a difference precious lady...I know your a very strong person..stronger then your depression and the lies that depression tell us...

I at times when I’m deeply troubled like to read “footsteps in the sand”..it’s a beautiful and calming little poem....

When I can tune into nature..feel as one with the trees, clouds, and the beautiful birds that grace us with a gentle orchestra....I feel connected in some way...I don’t understand why..but it does help me...

MrsI really hope that you can hold on to your hope..if that fades then I’m sending you all my hope..🌈..Things do change lovely lady...please try to believe that..and that just around the corner, good things, peace, and calmness is awaiting you...Hold on to us..please...feel our love and care for you...It’s hard when we only have the written word to tell someone we love them...If I was with you..I would be holing you so tightly... sitting with you in silence...and drying your tears...I really wish I could do that..because you mattervto me so much...and the others here...

Very kind thoughts lovely friend...with warm caring hugs, and lots of love..🤗💖..

Grandy..🌱🕊..🌈.

Dear precious Grandy,

Thank you once again for your beautiful words and encouragement. I thank all of you who have shared here.

I'm trying to do life differently, to get my thoughts out of the extreme negative, to see what is good each day and to accept my thoughts are thoughts and I don't have to act upon them no matter what my mind tells me!

I'm with you Grandy, how do our minds get so messed up?

The dietician I am seeing at present is questioning the body/mind/gut connection, wondering if certain foods and chemicals are causing the depression or adding to it.

Does anyone else feel like there is a connection with their moods and foods?

My husband is home now. I took the opportunity to have a walk along the beach before I picked him up from the airport. That was lovely. He said he missed me while he was away and he did buy me a very thoughtful gift of a nativity scene relating to the country he visited.

It is very unique and I am thankful for his thoughtfulness.

Tuesday I have an appointment at a new job agency place so I am hoping that will help to reduce my stress and anxiety levels.

I know there are a lot of things I can do to help myself! I just need to push myself to do them!

I thank all of you for your suggestions and ideas. I will read back over them and make an effort to put some of them into practice.

Wishing you all a day where happy moments out weight the negative!

Cheers all from Mrs. Dools

Hi All,

Today I have really tried to make an effort. I feel exhausted, but at least managed to achieve a few things that I will write down in my journal.

There have been moments where I have felt like bursting into tears...it didn't really seem appropriate to do so at the Post Office so pulled myself together and left.

I did manage a walk this morning and was treated to seeing a couple of kangaroos, one in amongst some vines and another bounding through a paddock.

This afternoon I was feeling a bit lost so brought out the acrylic paints and splashed some colour around on some paper.

We went to do the grocery shopping to buy some of the ingredients the dietician has recommended I now use. The prices of some of the ingredients is staggering! I thought gluten free food was expensive enough.

Guess I will have to be inventive with the foods we could afford. I'm trying not to stress myself out about this.

A lot of the foods that are now on my list of foods to eat are not things my husband will eat so guess I will be preparing two meals. Guess I should be thankful we have food!

It is going to be a little hard to judge if my moods improve if it is due to the food changes or the fact my husband is home again.

My mind has been ticking over all day trying to think of what to do next! That is exhausting! Ha. Ha.

Cheers to you all from Dools

Mrs Dools,

That diet sound very difficult if it means it is expensive and meams making two meals. Do you need to eat lots of nuts.

it is good you can go for a walk.

I always seem to cry in the frozen foods at the supermarket.

Quirky

Dearest Mrs Dools..

I remember when my grandson was around 4 years old..at times he would be naughty and run riot...When my dil took him to the Dr once with her..he was being naughty in the Drs office...My dil Dr. started asking questions about his diet...After answering them the Dr told my dil to stop giving him most importantly red food colouring and preservatives and see how he goes..within a week he was a different little boy...My Dr. at one of my visits told me that certain foods has the ability to change our moods..and suggested to me to eat lots of fresh vegetables, fruit..and nothing with preservatives in it...as they everything we eat goes into our blood and the blood does nourish our brain as well, which is the core of our thoughts....

Those beautiful words from your husband that he missed you would have given you a sense of being loved and needed, and the gorgeous thoughtful gift...would have been picked from his heart.....I hope so much that they gave you a little lift with your feeling.....

Im pleased your walk became a bit special watching the kangaroos...That would have been a few moments of mindfulness for you...I love seeing our native animal running free..

I agree precious lady..that it will be hard to judge between food and hubby being home....I think having company is a very special thing...living alone even for a couple of weeks with depression is very hard to cope especially when your used to having hubby around...

Mrs Dools..Take you time with the new foods you are starting..maybe if you look at some cookbooks and write down some yummy recipes it will give you something to help distract your thoughts...

Hi Quirky...I love nuts..doesn’t matter which ones..they are all yummy and healthy for us...💖..but not good for my expanding waist line 😁.

I hope you have a peaceful night tonight sweety and have a refreshing sleep for tomorrow...

Good night precious Mrs Dools...sending you my love and warm caring hugs..💖🤗..

Grandy..

Hi Mrs D,

It's been a while since I've been able to read here even though I knew you have been struggling for some time now. I always end up wanting to be able to support you in a practical way which isn't possible here.

Then I saw a post elsewhere where you were finding it hard to post. You mentioned it again here. Being at a loss for words which 'isn't like you'. It worried me. You know enough of my story to know I didn't post here until I was well enough to find my voice. But I read silently for a very long time unable to reach out here and unheard offline. It isn't a safe place to be in.

I suppose I'm trying to say please keep writing if you feel it helps you. Whether it is dot points, a sentence or even single words doesn't matter. I care very much as do so many others here.

Would it help to share the ingredients you have to work with and ask for ideas? Perhaps it can be a new thread even. I don't envy you having to make multiple meals. You mentioned just wanting to sit and do nothing and that sounds like me too. The idea of multiple meals is overwhelming. It annoys me how impractical specialists can be at times. My in-laws have recently cut out meat from their diets and it takes a lot of effort to try find new things to cook even if you are both willing to stick to the new diet.

I'm waffling again. Hope tomorrow is a little easier.

Love Nat

Good Morning Mrs Dools..

I thought I would call in to let you know..that your amazing precious lady...and very much loved and cared for by your many friends here...

I hope the sun shines some of its glorious heat into your beautiful heart and gives you some light...and strengthens your soul to give you the strength you need today..

The universe and us need you...You are a very important person....and an amazing inspiration to so many of us..

Take some time out of your day today just for you precious friend..A slow slow walk in nature, reading a book in the sun, eating a little treat you like, a nice cold lemon water..just little things make a huge difference to our mh...

Please enjoy your day the best you can..

Sending you Kind thoughts...with love and caring hugs.🌈💖🤗..

Grandy.....

Hi Quirky and All,

Thanks for your input here. The diet I am on is to try and discover what food chemicals I may be intolerant to. It is an elimination diet. Due my Coeliac Disease and possible lactose intolerance, the diet is even more restrictive.

The main foods I can eat are : chicken, beef, green beans, celery, white potatoes, cabbage, lettuce, leeks, rice, rice cakes, rice milk, Nutelex (margarine) rice noodles, 10 cashew nuts per day only and pears in syrup. Water and decaf coffee (1 cup a day)

If I could afford it, lobster, fresh white fish, fresh crabs and scallops are also on the list of foods to eat.

I see the dietician again two weeks after starting this. I can be on this diet for up to 6 weeks.

Some other items I could have eaten are just out of our price range.

Tomorrow I am going to make a leek and potato soup.

My husband has just returned from holidays, was supposed to work this week, but his boss told him not to return to work until next week. Doesn't help financial matters much!

I'm cancelling a couple of appointments I had booked with specialists as we just can't afford them.

This morning I went for another walk. I am going to try to get myself out every morning for a walk.

Is there something about the frozen food section that sets you off? Do you know what your triggers are?

Hope you are doing okay.

Cheers from Dools

Hi Nat and All,

I appreciate you dropping by, thanks. Yes, it seems I have been struggling for a while now. The dietician is looking into see if my depression is affecting my digestive system, or maybe the digestive system is upsetting the depression.

I have mentioned the foods I am able to eat in the message to Quirky. It is a bit limited. As I can't have any types of flour, even the gluten free ones, I can't make any sauces to go with the food, so it is either raw, steamed or boiled in water.

Cooking two separate meals when I don't really like cooking all that much, having limited ideas on how to entertain my tastebuds at the moment and doing all the dishes is a bit of a bother. Then I tell myself I should be thankful we have food and choices!

Part of depression can be shutting yourself away from people, the forum included. I've not posted elsewhere on the forum for a while now. Maybe I can make an effort to change that.

Today I saw a lady from a different job agency. I told her some of what happened at the last place and she was horrified. Information she had received from Centrelink and from the previous agency was incorrect in so many ways! She is going to update my information.

I'm hoping the change in job agencies will help reduce my stress and anxiety and may also assist my all round health.

I came home after the appointment and slept for two hours as it had been exhausting trying to sort out the misinformation and wrong details.

Now I need to learn to trust this new lady is there to help me and not be horrible to me.

Thanks again Nat. Thinking of you and all that is going on in your life as well.

Cheers from Dools

Hi Grandy,

Thanks for your very kind and encouraging words. I really appr4eciate all that you have written, and the kind words of others here as well. We really do have an amazing community here!

This morning I did go for a walk and listened to the birds singing. I tried to take notice of the views around me and pushed myself to walk to the top of a small hill before I turned around to come home again.

We certainly had sunshine here Grandy! It has gone from about 16 degrees tops to over 30 degrees today and even hotter by the end of the week! Yuck!

I took time to walk around in the garden and admire the plants that are flowering.

My time in the home for the elderly went well. I enjoy helping the residents with craft and chatting while doing so. Two ladies organise the craft sessions and I just help out where I can.

Friends have invited me to join them in going to an open garden on the weekend. They want to go for lunch as well, so I am not quite sure what I will do about that yet. Depends where they want to go and what I can organise with the restaurant or café.

Guess I can still join them even if I don't eat there.

I'm trying to write down all the good points for my day and recall the things I have achieved. I think it might have been Paws and others who made that suggestion.

Thanks again for all your encouragement Grandy. I really do appreciate everyone's helpful words and amazing kindness.

Cheers from Dools

Hi Mrs D,

I hope the last few days since you posted have been good to you. It never fails to make me smile when I read you finding positives no matter how bleak the situation feels. It is something I admire so much about you.

Your diet options sound good for me which just shows how everyone has different tastes. You mentioned rice is allowed and I wonder does the same apply for rice flour? If you have a good blender you can make it by blitzing rice into a powder (but it is easier to buy and is usually in the gluten free aisle). They also make rice pasta which is good but you cook it less so it keeps it's shape.

We make a Polish dish called golabki which I love where you mince beef and rice and wrap in blanched cabbage leaves then cook. They are my favourite comfort food. Perhaps looking to different cuisines might help you find new ideas?

If the cashews don't cut it as a snack you can blend them until they become a paste (I make homemade peanut butter that way too). It makes a good dip for the celery.

I hope it's not too overwhelming me sharing ideas. You mentioned having no energy and I get that completely. It is easy to give ideas sometimes and forget that it can make people feel worse. I hope that I haven't made you feel that way.

Thinking of you today Mrs D and hoping you are feeling even a little better.

Love Nat