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Forums / Long term support over the journey / DEPRESSION: Fight it or embrace it?

Topic: DEPRESSION: Fight it or embrace it?

  1. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
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    28 October 2019 in reply to Quercus

    Dear Nat,

    Hi. I love your food ideas. Thank you so very much, I really appreciate it. I'm going to Google how to make golabki! It sounds like something I would enjoy also. The dietician didn't mention rice flour, but as it is rice I guess it will be okay.

    You have also reminded me of an Asian dish wrapped in lettuce leaves. I could use the ingredients I have to try that as well, plus use rice paper! Thanks for the prompt to look at different ideas Nat!

    I see the dietician again on Thursday. I have been making a cross between stew and a soup with some of the ingredients. Tonight I will make a risotto style meal.

    On Sunday after Church I was invited by some ladies to join them having lunch in a café then we went to an Open Garden. I was able to enjoy a decaf coffee and had eaten some rice cakes I had prepared earlier in the car before joining them in the café.

    The garden we went to was so beautiful. I took a few photos and admired all their hard work. I did wonder what their water bill was like! It is wonderful people open their gardens up for others to enjoy.

    The ladies all enjoyed afternoon tea there as well. I enjoyed their company as they ate cake and had cups of coffee and tea. It was a lovely day to be sitting out in the sunshine for a while.

    I am feeling a little better thanks Nat. I'm really working hard on trying to acknowledge the negative thoughts and not let them grow and fester!

    It is supposed to be hot in our region this week so I will go out and do a little watering later. I did some weeding this morning. Those blighters just keep on growing don't they! At least there is still something green in the garden!

    Thanks dear precious Nat, cheers from Mrs. D

    2 people found this helpful
  2. Birdy77
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    28 October 2019 in reply to Doolhof
    Dear Mrs Dools,

    I am so glad you were able to go and enjoy the open garden, and that you went to the cafe with your friends even if you couldn't indulge in much.

    I was thinking you could make a white sauce out of your:
    Nuttelex
    Rice flour
    Rice milk
    Add some minced leek for flavour.

    This could go on your green beans, as a sauce for your white potatoes or as a dipping sauce or pour over sauce for your san-choy-bow type asian wraps or your golabki. Nuttelex in your white potatoes makes for a yummy mash, i use it in mine.

    Are there any other basics you are allowed (i looked at your list to Quirky from a few posts ago).

    You mentioned you might need to be reduce chemicals in things like shampoos, toothpaste etc. There is an excellent online store called biome. They have lots of toxic-free products and they also have a range of DIY recipes so you can make your own things eg. Household cleaning, personal hygiene, cleansers etc. Simple recipes with simple ingredients.

    Like Nat, i don't want to overwhelm you in any way, but wanted to mention it as an idea.

    I hope you are having an ok day and enjoying pulling some of those weeds. I'm doing the same.

    Be well Mrs D.

    🌻birdy
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  3. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
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    28 October 2019 in reply to Birdy77

    Dear birdy,

    HI to you and thank you very much for your suggestions! I greatly appreciate them. Yes, I could look for some rice flour or make my own and make the white sauce as you suggested. That is a good idea.

    I need to get my thinking past "Oh my goodness, is that all I can eat!" to "Oh my goodness, look at how much I have available to me. What interesting ways can I prepare that!"

    Thanks also for the name of the online store. I need to investigate this side of things more.

    You and Nat have not overwhelmed me at all, I am totally appreciative of your suggestions.

    The dietician suggested I brush my teeth with bicarb soda. It is an interesting taste! Ha. Ha. I would chew on some mint to freshen my breathe but that is not allowed at present.

    I see the dietician on Thursday, she could change the diet radically again so will wait and see.

    I'm working on ways to change and enhance my life in as many ways as I can.

    Attending the open garden with the ladies was lovely, it didn't bother me that they were able to enjoy the food while I declined. My taste buds were having a little party just looking at the delicious cakes and scones they were enjoying.

    Hope you are doing okay birdy. Thanks for dropping by and for all your wonderful suggestions.

    Cheers to you and all reading, from Mrs. Dools

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  4. Birdy77
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    1 November 2019 in reply to Doolhof
    Hello Mrs D,

    I was wondering how you were going after seeing the dietitian again yesterday. Have there been any changes to the amazingly awesome list of womderfully diverse and delicious foods you can enjoy (🙄)?

    I saw a recipe for two-ingredient flatbread (roti) made with rice flour and water. The simplest method i saw was on happybellyfish.com if you wanted to try out making these wraps/flatbreads.

    I hope you are finding some moments of contentedness amongst the difficulties.

    🌻birdy
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  5. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
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    1 November 2019 in reply to Birdy77

    Hi birdy and all reading,

    Thanks for dropping by birdy and for your suggestions on where to find a recipe for roti.

    I did see the dietician yesterday and she seems to think the diet changes made so far are making no difference. She is thinking I may have a conscious or sub-conscious gut v mind thing happening. Apparently there is a lot more research happening about the connection between our minds and our gut system.

    I am now on a high fibre diet, all the fruit and veg I can eat, nuts, seeds, legumes and so forth. She told me how much I need to eat in cooked vegetables or if I choose salad, it has to be 5 cups full per day. Wow! I am going to turn into a rabbit or a cow!

    Maybe it is the diet cleansing the mind a little, combined with my husband being home form his holiday and a change of employment services creating a calmer me as I feel like I am making improvements in my mental health.

    The staff at the new employment centre actually treat me with respect and dignity! They don't ignore me, scowl at me or speak crossly to me. In return, I am not experiencing panic attacks when I walk into their office!

    I'm venturing out here on the forum more now as well and that makes me feel good.

    Hope you are doing okay birdy. I have really appreciated people dropping by to help in so many ways.

    Cheers to you, from Mrs. D

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  6. quirkywords
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    quirkywords avatar
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    2 November 2019 in reply to Doolhof

    Hello everyone

    Mrs Dools,

    I am pondering this statement.

    "Apparently there is a lot more research happening about the connection between our minds and our gut system."

    I have read a few articles and heard a radio segment about this.

    I thought it was recent discovery but apparently it is not.

    In the early 1900s, scientists thought there was a relationship between gastrointestinal health and mental health. By 1930, this idea was changed and it was felt that mental health disorders were an influencing factor in gastrointestinal disorders.

    Isn't that interesting , when I thought there was often a distinction between mental and physical health.

    I often experiment with diet, I have gone from omnivore, vegetarian, vegan and many others in between.

    I like fruit and was once told I ate too much but if I cut down I feel very low.

    Sorry if I am rambling but food and its connection with moods does really fascinate me.

    Quirky

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  7. Doolhof
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    2 November 2019 in reply to quirkywords

    Hi Quirky,

    Thanks for your sharing. I was not aware about the connections made decades ago in relation to mind and guy health.

    Have you read any books on this subject? I did have a bit of a look on the internet but that just confuses me more sometimes. Ha. Ha.

    I asked a Dr about this connection to see if there may be any professionals working on this concept in S.A. and he told me he didn't know of any.

    Chocolate has always made me feel more depressed the next day. I feel that some of the foods on my various diets recently have been triggers as well, but it is too difficult for me to pinpoint which ones.

    I'm struggling to eat the amount of vegetables that have been recommended. Tonight I just had a huge plate of cooked vegetables for dinner! I like them, it is just the amount that I need to consume!

    Cheers to you and all from Dools

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  8. demonblaster
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    25 August 2020 in reply to Doolhof

    Dear Mrs Doolsy and everyone hi there 😊

    Doolsy just dropping in for a very overdue cuppa and to see how you are lovely lady ☺

    I'm a slacker Doolsy. Truth you're one of my lovely friends here that I think of often and wonder if you're ok but never get to saying so.

    I very much hope the silence is because lifes being easier on you but sadly suspect you continue to have more than your share of hard times.

    No need to reply to this if you're not wanting to go into it but just know you're very cared about and appreciated I'm sure in real life (rl) and certainly here.

    On the table cloth I set up outside for our tea and cake I baked which is a mmm wait up just need to wipe my mouth... choccy 🍫 mud cake ... you know I must admit I think it'd taste better without the mud though 😄 is a big smiley sun beaming out rays of light. All you have to do is place your hand palm down across it's smile close your eyes, see it in your mind and feel the light and warmth enter your soul.

    Good days wished for you lovely lady ☺🤗 and all good people for that matter.

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  9. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
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    25 August 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi DB,

    Thanks for dropping by. I have not used this thread for a long time! I have a new thread called "They're Back!" in the Suicidal Section. You are more than welcome to drop by there and say Hi as this thread is similar in a way and I will become confused using two! Ha. Ha.

    Please don't think I am being rude in suggesting this DB, that is not my intention. I would enjoy having a further chat with you if you would like to drop by the other thread.

    Life has thrown me a few issues I have not dealt well with and I had my complex PTSD flare up causing all kinds of interesting episodes.

    I really thank you for dropping by and thanks for the cake and cuppa and the lovely image of receiving light and warmth for my soul.

    Hope you are doing okay. Cheers to you DB from Dools

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  10. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
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    25 August 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi DB,

    It is lovely to read your message. Lately I have not been coping so well and started a different thread called "They're Back" in the suicide section, so I have been communicating on that thread and had not been writing here as well.

    I had sent you a message earlier but was notified it was in breach of rules so I will try again.

    To me, this thread is similar in a way to my new one so I am not sure that I will be continuing to write here as well. I don't want to clog up the system with two very similar threads.

    I'm still not really sure how I broke the rules.

    Maybe I just need to take a step back for a while. I had thought I was doing okay but seems like I have it all wrong all over again!

    Some days I have no idea why I even try.

    Cheers from Dools

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  11. startingnew
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    27 January 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi Mrs D

    Just thought i would stop in to see how your travelling?

    💚💛

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  12. Doolhof
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    27 January 2021 in reply to startingnew

    Hi startingnew,

    How very kind and thoughtful of you to drop by and ask how I am travelling. As you can see, it has been some time since I wrote here.

    I'm trying to be aware each day of how I am feeling and how I can best get through the day. Considering what is working and what isn't. Can I change it or do I just need to go with the flow and try something different later.

    I'm very aware I quite often shut down, become disassociated and try to distance myself in different situations, so I am trying to overcome those situations when I can.

    Most days I go for a walk or do some work in the garden unless it is hot. I dislike the heat! Now and then I have extra days at work. My boss surprised me on the Australia Day public holiday by coming in to work, we had a good day together and she thanked me for my help.

    Next week I am spending a couple of nights away and will be staying in the city. I'm looking forward to walks along the river, visiting the art gallery and museum, a walk in the Botanical gardens and a trip to the beach which is a lot closer to the city than from where we live. Hopefully it will not be too hot.

    I really appreciate you dropping by! It means so much to me, thank you and huge virtual hugs to you. Hope you are doing okay.

    You have really made my day! (Huge smiley face from me)

    Cheers from Mrs. D.

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  13. startingnew
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    28 January 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    Hey Mrs D

    its good to hear from you and im glad that your smiling. thats lovely to know.

    your upcoming holiday sounds lovely and refreshing. i hope that you enjoy yourself. fingers crossed the weather where you are will be nice too. Im not a heat person either, im quite sensitive to it even when i was much younger. shorts singlet and thongs are my frequent attire even in winter!

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  14. Doolhof
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    28 January 2021 in reply to startingnew

    Hi Startingnew,

    We are all different in regards to the weather aren't we. I have friends who love the heat, the hotter the better.

    I am looking forward to my time away. I need to get the garden cleaned up a little and watered ready for when I am away. A recent burst of heat cooked a lot of plants! The roses especially really had their leaves scorched.

    Woke up this morning feeling a little glum, so need to work on that and turn my thoughts around to something more positive.

    It is going to be hot later so I will do some outside work this morning then will retreat inside the house! Ha. Ha.

    Cheers to you from Dools

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  15. startingnew
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    1 February 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi Mrs D

    Yeah i know a few people who love the heat too. not me though!

    I hope that your not feeling so glum today?

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  16. Doolhof
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    2 February 2021 in reply to startingnew

    Hi startingnew,

    To be honest I seem to keep falling back into the "what am I here for?" way of thinking where I struggle to find a purpose or much meaning for being here.

    Along with this goes feelings of disconnection.

    It is weird being here yet feeling like I am just in a movie set and not really part of what is going on around me. It is a little hard to explain. I don't know if others feel similar.

    I go to work, walk into the place and feel like it is my first time ever being there. I walk out at the end of my shift and wonder what that was all about! Same with coming home. I look around and wonder if this is really my home.

    The mind does strange and wonderful things doesn't it!

    Sorry to read you are struggling so much!

    Cheers to you from Dools

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  17. Doolhof
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    4 February 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi,

    Feeling quite depressed right now and having trouble seeing any good in life.

    Maybe going for a walk will help.

    It is frustrating when doing what I hope will help makes me feel worse.

    Anyone else have this happen? If so, how do you keep going?

    Cheers from Dools

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  18. Ggrand
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    5 February 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    Dear Dools...

    Its very hard to find positives when we are feeling depressed...I’m sorry your having trouble finding some...

    There are so many positive things around you...1st is you and your beautiful caring heart....You are a positive and very valuable person with lots of care that you give to so people on the forums and in r/l....

    I know you like walking...maybe on your walk...take a pen and paper..with the alphabet written down ways...and fill in each letter through your walks..it may take time to complete...doesn’t have to be in order...maybe on a walk you see a magpie..write it under M..What about a Kangaroo for K...or a rock for R...it can be fun and it’s very mindful for you... distracting those negative thoughts...you’ll be surprised at what you can find....

    I so much wished..I had some more ideas for you..I just wanted to let you know that I care..we all care about you..your one very special and precious friend to so many here...I just wanted you to know that..

    My kindest and most caring thoughts...with a hug 🤗.

    Grandy..

    1 person found this helpful
  19. Doolhof
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    5 February 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Dear Grandy,

    Thank you so much for your kind words, I greatly appreciate them. Wouldn't it be wonderful if myself and others could see the good in ourselves instead of all our faults and inadequacies.

    I like your suggestion about trying to find something during a walk to write on an A to Z list. Might have to look in a dictionary or encyclopaedia ahead of time to fill in some of the letters!

    Walking is an activity I usually enjoy. Lately I have experienced a lot of pain in one foot. The Dr thinks it could be a trapped nerve in the back. I need to organise another Drs appointment to get a referral for an MRI which needs to be done in the city. Some days I can walk a reasonable distance other days the pain is horrid.

    I know depression entices us to shut down and shut ourselves away and that is what I have been doing. It makes me even more lonely and I then struggle to reach out to people. It is an awful cycle.

    I have just stayed a couple of nights in the city and I reacted badly to being away from home! I did find it peaceful walking along the river and enjoyed the art gallery. I spent a lot of time in my accommodation doing very little. Guess my body had a rest, shame the mind was such a mess!

    As my back was aching, I decided to have a massage. It is taking me days to recover! Ha. Ha. The lady was tiny but goodness me she had an amazing amount of power! I feel like I was hit by a truck! Now I need physio to recover form the massage!

    My Dad's birthday is coming up soon. It seems strange not to be able to celebrate it with him since he died last year, so I will do some celebrating myself on his actual day.

    Some days I just feel I have no purpose, so thanks for your kind words Grandy, they mean a lot to me.

    Hugs to you and I hope you are doing okay. Cheers from Dools

    1 person found this helpful
  20. quirkywords
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    5 February 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    Dools

    sorry you are feeling depressed but pleased you are willing to share with others.

    I people have said write down what is worrying you , or what upsets me,and I do and I feel worse because it make me dwell on things further.

    I wonder how you are feeling today.

    I am not much help but I hoped it helped to share in some small way.

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  21. Doolhof
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    6 February 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Hi Quirky,

    Thanks for your kind words and for sharing your own experiences. It is interesting to know that for some people, writing down what is bothering them can be beneficial or cause more harm and upset.

    Generally I do find a release when I write down my issues. I sometimes keep going until I can't find anything else to write. I don't re-read what I have written. There are often tears, anger, frustration, emotional distress and a sense of exhaustion.

    For me there can also be a sense of letting go. I try to end by thinking of things to be thankful for in life. Some days this process works better than other days.

    Some days I have no idea why I feel depressed. I just do.

    Thankfully work was busy yesterday without being crazy. I am hoping for the same today. I have been asked to work extra days this coming week as well.

    My work can be lonely. I work by myself. I have very brief contacts with people all day but feel no connection. I have lunch by myself. Due to Covid I am restricted as to where I can sit and with whom during my break. I work alone on weekends so have no work colleagues.

    I take photos in my garden and when walking on my phone and look at them during my break. I can go for a short walk if the weather is okay.

    There are lots of things to be thankful for. I know that. Just feeling very lonely. I am usually the one to reach out to friends and to organise things. I haven't done that this year. My friends in my area have not contacted me. The longer I don't hear from them, the less likely I feel I will contact them.

    Time for a walk before work.

    Hope you are doing okay Quirky. Cheers from Dools

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  22. startingnew
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    9 February 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    Sending love Mrs D

    i hope todays abit better for you

    xoxo

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  23. Doolhof
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    9 February 2021 in reply to startingnew

    Hi SN,

    Thanks. Been for a walk this morning to watch the sunrise, that was lovely.

    I'm going to do a little gardening before it gets too hot and will go tot he craft group thismorning as well.

    Haven't been on the forums much, not feeling all that connected.

    Hope you are managing okay!

    Cheers from Dools

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  24. startingnew
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    25 July 2021
    Hope your ok Mrs D xox
  25. Doolhof
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    25 July 2021 in reply to startingnew

    Hi Startingnew,

    It is lovely of you to drop by. I am sorry to read on another thread that you are struggling yourself, Hope you are finding some solutions or things that help you get through each day.

    We are currently in quarantine, so can not leave the house for 2 weeks apart from being Covid tested 3 times. Our last test is on the weekend. If we are clear then we can return to work as we are both essential workers.

    I'm trying really hard to get through this. Some people have agoraphobia, for me, I don't like being inside! Thankfully we have a garden I can walk in and a porch that is usually protected from the wind and large enough for a bench seat. I have been sitting out there a lot.

    Each morning I think of things I can do to fill my day. It is had when depression slows us down and makes it difficult to do even pleasurable activities that we know would help.

    I'm struggling, but also managing to do reasonably well!

    Thinking of you and thanks again for dropping by! Cheer from Dools

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  26. demonblaster
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    2 August 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi dear Doolsy and everyone ☺

    I haven't been posting much lately but just want you to know I hold you in very high esteem dear lady and often wonder how you're getting on.

    You may not realise but you've taught me a great deal over the time I've been here and particularly about looking for things to be grateful about. As dear Grandy mentioned in yourself and around you it's there but so true that depression takes our pleasure away.

    I find it helpful knowing it's temporary. Yes the mutt returns but the breaks really help.

    You're an incredibly brave resilient strong lady who SO many people look up to...I hear it in how they are with you.

    It's truly a pleasure knowing you 🤗

    I wish you every success in your journey and love hearing that you're managing through this.

    I've in the past had that horrid disassociated feeling it leaves an emptiness doesn't it. For me it passed which I hope for you too.

    Do you still do your scrap books with positives like thoughts piccys memories etc.

    Much love Doolsy. Leaving you a gorgeous Petunia...the colour changes every hour.

    🕊💗🌞

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  27. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8745 posts
    2 August 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi DB,

    How very kind and thoughtful of you to drop in. I greatly appreciate your kind words. So often I do not see any good in myself.

    I have had some really horrid days and I have tried to accept them. I have lists of coping strategies somewhere! I need to maybe write them up, decorate the page, even have it laminated and placed somewhere handy.

    My journaling has not been happening, so maybe I can get back into that.

    We are now out of quarantine. I am volunteering and working today and have been asked to work longer hours so at least today my mind will be occupied with work and not my own thoughts I sometimes have trouble controlling.

    Yesterday I pushed and encouraged myself. I packed a picnic lunch, grabbed a rain jacket and told myself I was going to drive to a conservation park. Here in S.A. we are no longer in lock down so it is thankfully possible.

    I didn't just drive around the block and then head home again as I have done in the past! I went to the conservation park. I saw kangaroos, fungi, tiny little flowers on the ground, wattle in bloom and so many other beautiful aspects of nature.

    The tears were flowing and that was okay. I went to a look out to have my lunch. It started to rain and it was windy so I retreated to my car.

    I am thankful for the opportunity to be able to go out.

    There is a lot I can do to help myself. When you are in that dark place it is so hard to be motivated.

    As I slowly recover, I am going to organise that list of things to do.

    Hopefully I will learn what did not work so well, accept that and try again.

    I'm off to work shortly so this day will be filled.

    DB I hope you are doing okay. I've not ventured all that far on the forum lately. Kind regards to you from Dools

    2 people found this helpful

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