Fantastic Dools. What a great day! You've achieved lots and had lots of chocolate biscuits too (LOL).

Other than your crochet blanket, what sort of craft things do you make?

Hmmm, not so sure about cuddling the black dog. Not a doggie person really. Give me cats any day. I still have this persistent, nagging need to get it off my back. But am trying to do as Paul suggested.

Hard work as you say, but all good in the end.

Hi Chloe, Karen, Pamela and Everyone,

Thank you once again for your delightful messages and encouragement. Hopefully other people reading this thread may feel welcome to add their own comments, or just continue to read on.

Last night I put on a Dance exercise DVD I had not watched before. My goodness me! Once again I could not tell my right from my left and had no idea what my arms were supposed to be doing, let alone which direction my feet were meant to go.

It was hilarious! At least I was moving! Than the lady on the DVD said she was going to speed it up a little! I thought she was going really fast in the first place. I looked for my Yoga DVD but couldn't find that safe place I had put it.

While at the craft group yesterday, there were some books and magazines the library had donated to the group and were all free. I picked up a couple of quilting and patchwork books, another craft I enjoy but have not done for ages. Need to go and find "Motivation" hopefully the books will help!

Today I am planning to leave an hour earlier for the Op Shop so I can go for a walk in that town in a pretty park, so won't be on the forum for long.

Later on I have an appointment with my Employment Lady and tonight I will need to do some study.

I will try to find ways to relax myself while I am studying as I am not enjoying it much at all. I will take a break each hour, have a little wander around outside, look at the stars and then come back in feeling a little refreshed.

Pamela, we have only ever had pet cats, I would love to have a dog actually, my husband dislikes them with a passion though. When I think of cuddling the "black dog", I certainly don't have a vision of a snarling German Shepherd in mind! Ha. Ha. Even though that is how depression feels sometimes!

Right, time to have breakfast, prepare my lunch to take, get my sandshoes and make sure I have plenty of time for that walk this morning!

Wishing you all a day where you manage to find ways to overcome your depression, fighting it, embracing or cuddling it!

Cheers all from Dools

Hey Doolsy and all

Finally got here, I've read bits back to my last but intend to catch up

So LOL acceptance :D ...sorry it's not funny, well it is from my perspective because my heads like concrete sometimes, I just can't accept (cuse the pun) because... please go for it and keep doing what you good people do talking about stuff which is awesome forlearning. Sorry I know I deviated and am again, I am stubborn as but this isn't being I just simply can't understand it because...acceptance to me means you take it or embrace or willingly accept something. When I say fight I'm meaning I'm not going to let it beat me anymore, it's a bully. I don't doubt yous are on the right track and there's books Claire Weeks Blondy Paul :) A psych had rope him holding and me pulling and the resitance, yeah I see and mostly hear that BUT lol god I've put so much thought into this for mths when I see it around anyway so fightings worked for me by hard talking beasty some were a full on anxiety or one was about to explode and one of those really deep downs talked it away never have I been able to do that before, it was amidst a down I was holding at bay. Also a few other times hard talk worked, kicks in the logical part of the mind

Maybe I'm saying fight and it should be challenge or question I've heard they're good words btw and I've learnt stuff too from what you good people have been saying, Quirky once said to Grandy she was glad she didn't get angry because now my minds blocked but I could see that and it'll come back. There's other things too I've learnt, so is it meaning to take it calmly as opposed to fighting which pumps us up and creates walls which I can see that one. That was the drift dear Quirky said.
I accept as in ok I'm in depression just can't let it be or relax

The depths BP goes like many know or for other reasons sadly is rock bottom (better lately, last night rough) I'm terrified seriously of going back there, this is hard enough, before I started learning more here but was here learning other things I"d started making small progress.

Ok was going to bed which I so badly need but durries are winning that battle so on my walks I've been Doolsy Pammy Shelly and others looking around which I do but tuning in more to nature from your excellent nature descriptions

thank you guys for your gentle patience, yous help many. Everyone does :)

LOL Dools, a snarling German Shepherd doesn't do much for me. Starting New suggested substituting a dog for a cat. Now I can live with that and in fact it makes life so much easier for me.

Cuddling my cat - yes. BTW my cats can be vicious at times (infrequently), it takes a cuddle to settle them. So I'm on a roll in terms of cuddling the 'black dog' (aka 'black cat').

Also, LOL about your dance video, I know exactly what you mean about 'speed'. You think that it's really quick, then they say, lets speed it up. LOL. Nahh.

Hey Deebi, great to see you here. Love your idea about - challenge and question rather than fight it. Very very good point DB!!!

Hi All,

I enjoyed a walk in the park before the volunteering in the Op Shop that also went well.

When I went to see the Employment lady. I just sat there and cried for about 20 minutes then asked if I could go home! She did give me a cup of water and the tissue box and asked if I had a support person she could contact. I told her No.

She made me an appointment for next fortnight and that was that.

Now I have to try to get my head in order to catch up with my study! This will be fun!

Feel like I am trying to cuddle the raging dog and the feral cat at the same time! Might throw in a swarm of bees for good measure!

Hope you are all finding a greater sense of peace tonight!

Cheers from Dools

lol Doolsy you've got a wicked sense of humour, the bees will liven it up.

Pammy thanks hun yeah I liked those words too and as much as I'd like to take credit for them I heard them here by two different people I think

Ok how uncanny and I LOVE this stuff and I'd imagine many can relate to this happening sometimes things just pop in outta the Blue and it did just then. Was checking acronym meaning thread (might be changing title to suggested Abbreviations) and haven't got into habit yet but saved a post which I really need to do a lot more of for learning that Peps (Peppermintbach) wrote on acceptance and was going to get back to it and had forgotten would you believe I fluked onto it just when I'd finally gotten back to posting here and have been listening to other comments around but depends on where the brain fogs sitting wether I can retain or understand etc we all know that story and it said about accepting not analysing or fighting but letting the pain hit then let it flow through. Ok we're getting closer...LOL there's IS hope after all lovelies, still gotta get my head thinking differently to the meaning of acceptance. TA DAaaa

take care lovely people :)

I'm sitting here with tears running down my face Dools.... 'LOL' feral cat.

Okay, nah, nice pussy. Hadn't though - feral. That's so funny.

Yes, I have found a better sense of peace - thanks.

Yeah Deebi, doesn't matter that these words aren't yours. You've used them in the right context and that is so good!! So that was why I was saying I love your idea!!

Pammy ❤️

hi demonblaster, hello again Pammy, hey Dools

you feeling better now Dools?

*Sending virtual hugs*

Your sense of humour is very funny! I feel like today, after telling my dog and cat to sit in the corner and stop taking over my life (not literally, I said that in my head lol), I reckon I could fight off a swarm of bees as well. I feel invincible now, but just you wait I'll be depressed and anxious again tomorrow. Oh well.

As usual though, there is no peace in my house. No way. My mum says sometimes she feels like she has three kids. That's because my dad is really silly and funny. But I did do some mindfulness without too much distraction.

Hope everyone's Friday is full of sunshine and happiness and well behaved imaginary animals 🐶🐱

Chlo 🤗

You poor thing having that big cry although I like it for release it's not so good in public, sounds like she looked after you with water and tissues, that was thoughtful.

Good on you it's a nursing course did you say and helps having experience doesn't it in nursing homes, I love the elderly. I'm not up with the better systems now with training so what course or level are you doing, yes it's so hard to concentrate when you're struggling so much with MH issues, you've been having a hard time for a long time Doolsy ((( hugs ))) you don't like anyone being down but esp when you care about them so much, sorry Doolsy, you're so good doing so many things to keep your ferals lol under control

Hi Chloe :) saw you at the cafe and so sorry meant to welcome you as per I walked out and then remembered things lol so a belated welcome :) lovely post btw sunshine to you too

Pammy lovely thanks darls and for another lovely you said in Mandys thread, nice to hear, you're another one that's exceptional with how and what you say x

Leaving a fly swat to let it rip with the bees knees

peaceful sleepies lovelies

Hi Dools

Thankyou for the super kind post :-)

I am sorry if I came across that you didnt know how to look after yourself. I tried to qualify my post so I didnt come across like I was providing advice

You have always been a legend to me and the support you gave me when I joined the forums :-)

My kind thoughts xo

Paul

Hey Paul, Mate,

HI. Please know I have not taken any offense to anything you have ever written and shared with me. Right now there are moments when I don't know how to look after myself and any help is more than greatly appreciated!

I really like your idea of cuddling the black dog, makes a lot of sense to me, just a difficult thing to do when you are so darn sick of it.

The written word can so easily be misunderstood as well, so if for some reason you have felt like I was annoyed in any way with you, it is not the case! I look forward to reading your comments and greatly appreciate your support!

At present I have 3 medical people suggest I take different medications. Mmmmm. Which one to choose! Are any of them chocolate coated? The4y might be the ones I go for!

I'm also visiting my parents for a few days next week so will not start any of the medication until I return. If I have an adverse reaction, as I seem to do unfortunately with many types of medication, I don't want that hassle while with my parents.

Hey Paul, once again any advice is greatly appreciated! Kind thoughts are precious too! All is cool with you! I'm going through a rough patch that is a little difficult to cope with now and then!

Hugs to you mate, and hoping you are travelling okay yourself!

Cheers from Dools xxx

Hi Chloe, Pammy, DB, Paul and All reading,

Thanks so much for all your comments. Yes, I do try to throw in a little humour, it certainly helps me get through. I was talking to one of the ladies at the Op Shop yesterday, she is open to chatting about my depression. I told her one of the medications the Dr had prescribed me could have me sitting in the corner staring at the wall and drooling! We both had a good laugh over that image.

Yer. The feral cat! I feel a bit like that with trying to cope with my depression some days! Even trying to get our cat into the cat box so she can go to the vet is bad enough! I had that darn box hanging upside down one day at the vet and the cat was still lodged in there!

I definitely prefer Paul's image of cuddling the black dog or the feral cat and having a bunch of butterflies flying around instead of a swarm of bees.

I'm off to another Drs. appointment then hubby and I are going shopping for a few essentials in the city. Stuff that costs a fortune here!

Thanks for all your kindness and sharing. Will try to respond more personally next time!

Cheers all from Dools.

Hi Dools,

That lady at the Op Shop sounds lovely! Its great that you have people that you can openly talk to. It certainly helps.

I try to think of my depression as a feral cat and my anxiety as a vicious dog. LOL.

How's everyone feeling today? My cat is still sleeping but my dog is awake and I can feel it breathing down my neck :(

Chloe

Hello Dools (wave to everyone else)

Please don't every lose your sense of humour. It's wonderful. I'm glad to hear the Op Shop worker is open to discussion depression with you - and having a laugh. How good is that. BTW did you find the chocolate coated medication?

LOL, yet again Dools, I have images of your cat hanging upside down in the cat cage. That is so funny.

Are you looking forward to visiting your parents?

Hey Chloe, will catch you up on your thread sometime tonight.

PamelaR

Hi Chloe, PamelaR and All,

It does seem to help me a little to see my depression and anxiety as dogs and cats! My mind is quite visual at times. Chloe, hope you are able to calm that dog down a little. Maybe go and find some dog biscuits and treats for it. That way it may settle down and be less disturbed!

Regarding visiting my parents, I am trying to be positive about it! They still live in the family home. Due to Mum's mental health issues it was not a happy place as a child and I spent as much time out of the house as I could including moonlit walks along the beach when I was just a kid.

They are my parents, I love them in my own way and I know they love me too in their own way! They are welcoming me into their home so that is something.

I will take some crocheting with me and my notebook to write down all the things I am grateful for while I am there.

I do realise that it all depends on how I interpret things and how my mindset is, so if I am positive about it now and aim to look for all the good things, it will be a lovely time! If some unpleasantness come up I will remind myself it is only temporary and I will cope.

Cheers all from Dools

Hi Dools,

Once again, your imaginative mind makes me laugh. I will go get some dog biscuits! And maybe something for the cat too, she was bothering me this morning.

Great to see that you are going to your parents' house. Maybe if you start visiting more frequently you could associate the house with happy memories made from now on.

thinking of you,

Chloe

Hello Dools, and everyone else.

The upside down cat Dools that got me laughing when I read it I could see the cat hanging upside down, kind of reminded me Tom from Tom and Jerry...

You have such a great way of describing thing, and that usually puts a smile on my dial..thank you,

I hope your visit to your parents is a happy one.. and you enjoy yourself and have some happy times and memories..

Wishing you all peace,🕊

Grandy..

Hi Chloe,

It is a bit of a journey to get to my parents. It involves a flight or a boat trip. So I can't just drive there for the day...or escape when I want to or need to.

I fled that area when I was a kid of 17 as I hated it and struggle each time I return.

Maybe this trip is time to get rid of some ghosts from the past!

I'm going to be taking along plenty of snacks and chill pills for the cat, the dog and myself! Ha. Ha. Hopefully I won't need them!

I try to make new happy memories each time I go there, just find it so hard to do so with all those ghosts about the place. They all seem so grumpy and horrid. Maybe they need some chill pills as well!

Cheers to you from Dools

Hey Grandy,

Thanks. I am going to try to make the most of it. I'm catching up with a sibling as well whom I haven't seen for ages either. Been quite a while since I felt comfortable in their home. The last visit had not gone so well.

That sibling actually has a dog that doesn't seem to like me at all! It kept wrapping its jaws around my ankle, good thing I had jeans on! I had to call my sibling to come and get the dog off me so I could go to the bathroom. Not a great deal of space in toilet room. I didn't want to bang the dog's head against the wall!

Had a bit of a fight here this morning with the Black Dog. It was putting very dark thoughts in my mind. Thankfully I was able to confuse it when I started to do my study. I have trouble concentrating on two things at the same time! Thankfully the study took over.

Tom and Jerry cartoons, I remember those. I like Top Cat as well and Sylvester and Tweety!

Cheers for now from Dools

Hi Dools,

maybe you could leave your cat and Dog with those ghosts! They could make friends and take loads of chill pills!

thats a little inconvenient that they live so far away, but it is kind of lucky to in the sense that you don't feel obliged to go there all the time.

Maybe this time is the time where it all changes. Fingers crossed, and my thoughts are with you!

Chloe 😄

Hi Chloe,

Thanks. I am going to try to make peace with stuff from the past and what ever happens while I am there.

In some ways it would be nice if my parents lived closer and in a different house. I think I would see them more often! If they lived even a 4 hour drive away, I could spend time with them in one day, or even stay the night now and then, and drive home the next day.

Either way, I am going , I will try and make the most of it, will practice forgiveness for myself and for issues from decades ago and find ways to feel gratitude and acceptance.

The Feral Cat, The Black Dog and The Obnoxious Ghosts! Sounds like a funny title for a book!

Cheers from Dools

Hey, hope you are doing okay Chloe!

Hey Dools,

thats good that you are going. I always try and make the most of everything, I'm glad to see that you are going to try and do that too!

haha yes, those creatures would make an interesting book!

im alright, we just got my nan and her dog from her house as the area is being evacuated because of the fire. She'll be with us for a few days. I am still worried for everyone who chose to stay and protect their houses, but nothing that happens is under my control.

i have been only a bit anxious today, and have been pretty productive. I organised a meeting tomorrow for my history project and tidied up the marking criteria. I also face timed my friend who is currently in NY, she asked me for details for the history project (as her and another member are in NY for our schools performing arts tour, I would have hone but I wasn't allowed 🙁).

Im looking forward to seeing the guys tomorrow, I'll be seeing my best friend, which is good because I could really do with a hug, and he gives the best ones lol.

hope you are feeling okay, try and make the most of this visit, you never know what might happen!

hugs to you from Chloe :)

Hello Dools,

Im just popping in to wish you a safe trip and hope you have a good time with your parents..I liked it when I read that you will be trying to find positives.. Dools I really hope that good positives comes from your visit..

Chloe,..I'm really happy you got your nan and her dog away safely from the fire..How lovely that you will have your nan staying with you for a few day.. please enjoy your time with your nan...

Wishing you all peace🕊.

Grandy..

Hey Grandy,

I am very relived that nana is with us now... Her and Toby (her dog) are staying with us until it is safe for residents to move back in. In the meantime I wil enjoy my time with them and try not worry about any people staying to protect their homes From the embers.

Peace to you as well ✌️🕊

Chloe :)

Hi Chloe,

Last night I saw the fires on the news, had not seen the news in weeks! I too hope that people stay safe, and also hope all is well for your Nana's home and those who live close to her.

Hopefully you enjoy having Nana with you and her dog as well. We didn't see our Nana very much growing up as she lived so far away. I remember as a young adult visiting her in a home for the Aged. I don't think she had any idea who I was, but we had a lovely chat together anyway, that was the main thing.

I really do hope everyone keeps safe in the fires and you Nana will enjoy her time with you and the family and not feel too stressed by the fires.

Cheers to you, from Dools

Hi Dools,

yes the fires are pretty bad, the whole fam watched it too last night I believe it is still out of control however my nan maybe allowed to go back today but we are not sure yet. I am less stressed about the fires and more stressed about seeing my friends for our project today I am really anxious, that darn black dog is playing tricks again.

oh well

Hope you have a wonderful day, lucky you being a long way away from the fires, it's supposed to be a nice day today in Sydney but it's super windy and if the wind changed direction then we'd be chocking on ash and smoke again :(

chloe

Hi Chloe,

I hope all goes well with catching up with your friends and working on your project! All the best with that! Do your friends know you are struggling with your mental health?

Are they able to help you at all? If you were to tell them you are not feeling so great and could do with a High 5, would knowing they care even a little help you?

Regarding the fires, we have been in our little town for 5 years now. In 3 different summers fires have come with in a kilometre of the township. S.A. had some awful fires just recently. Guess this is the kind of country we live in!

Hopefully the Sydney fires will be under control soon.

Really hope today works out okay for you Chloe!

Cheers from Dools

Hi Dools,

This morning was ok. we got a lot done- we started writing our song (stupid history project requires a song!). Of the people I saw today, only my best friend knows. The other 2 suspect but they don't take anything seriously and i dont want to tell them. Not yet.

After me and my best friend walked around for a bit and at the end he hugged me and told me that he'll be there for me and not to worry about what the other 2 think. I'm very lucky to have him. I felt a bit better but am still quite depressed. I watched The Voice just before and that made me feel a bit better. I was singing just before but all i could sing were sad songs :( oh well hope you are feeling better than i am.

I believe that the fires are under control know, my Nana went back this morning and is staying there now.

Thanks for the support,

Chloe

Hello Dools , Chloe,

Dools I hope you enjoy time with your family and make some good memories..I hope your trip as well gives you some nice scenery to look at. Maybe some nice walks as well in a different area. I really hope you do enjoy yourself..

Chloe..hugs are special aren't they..I haven't had a hug in t/l for so long..a hug makes you feel special..I think composing your own song is a great way for some distraction from your depression. I know you will do good..maybe when your finished it and only if you feel like it maybe you can share it here...

Im so pleased to hear the fires are now under control..

Kind thoughts,

Karen..

Hugs are special, especially tight ones that make you feel like the person hugging you never wants to let you go. I'm going to try and see if I can get him to meet me at the shops tomorrow I really need to talk to someone face to face that I know will listen and not judge (and give me hugs lol).

Depression todsy is one of the worst days I've had... Feeling very sad and suicidal. Even though I had a good laugh this morning I am still very bad today... Dumb dog and cat getting the better of me again. I just want to go to sleep but I won't be able too .

Hope you all had lovely days, it might cheer me up to hear that you guys did

chloe x