I was somewhat hesitant to post as my thoughts were not a comfortable ones, I'm relived your took it as you did.
I've not much more to say except the twin goads of perceived responsibility and threat of untoward consequences can make us all feel stuck. If you have a partnership and are not just a caring service then I guess frank talk between equals may be the best answer.
That's what I did with my wife, as I felt stuck and great concern for her. She well knew blindness and degeneration of extremities plus internal organ failure were all on the cards from repeated abuse of her condition.
She also knew that under such circumstances I would not be able to look after her and she would have to be in care. This really did strike home and she was able to deal with her condition more successfully. It was never any form of threat or blackmail, just a pragmatic view of what would happen. Neither of us wanted that.
You can easily anticipate what I'm going to say.
If you keep on as you are and melt down your husband will be in care. If you keep on as you are and melt down your recovery will be marred by senses of guilt and failure. You need your husband's support night now, given in tangible ways such as preparing and eating meals, inventively relying on you less for things he can do himself.
He can be the one to ring you at your daughters and say don't worry, I'm eating.
He is your husband and partner, that is a position of love, pride, support, enjoyment.
When my PTSD, anxiety and depression was at its worse I in effect abdicated responsibility (not intentionally, it just was a fact of the illness) and totally relied on my wife. Later the situation was reversed and I was very glad to have the opportunity to be the partner that helped - so was she.
Yes I know, you may think me overly idealistic or impractical. Perhaps , however it is a possible way out of some of your burden.
I think I've said all I can. I hope however you do it the load gets lifted at least a little.