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Forums / Long term support over the journey / Feeling lost and overwhelmed...what happened?

Topic: Feeling lost and overwhelmed...what happened?

  1. randomx
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    30 December 2021 in reply to CMF

    Ahhh, well that's very cool anyway , just unintentionally annoying that's all.He just trying to be an adult and fit in with his knowdall , try not to take it too serious. But of course you need some you time , funny really got rid of sis and he jumps in , sorry cm the ironicness of it makes me chuckle.

    Remember mths ago l use to say my God how did sis just happen into something new so fast so perfect , smelt a rat and here we are. Shame though for her don't think she'd realize how much she needs someone else bar m , and for you too but 10 fold shame for you of course.

    Gonna be a tough call sorry , but l can't preach few rough waters at my end too atm. Why can't it just be bloody easy , just for once eh.

    rx

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  2. CMF
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    30 December 2021 in reply to randomx

    Tonight was funny. M & son came past, picked up little miss & I to go for ice cream. Son rang the doorbell and walked back to the car. I could hear M saying go round other side & son was looking lost. I think he was going to sit in the front seat. It feels like is just glued to M lately. We got ice cream & sat outside. I was curious to see if he sat next to M but he did leave a space. He was talking to little miss & I had to whisper to talk to M so he wouldn't ask who/ what/ where. I can see it's honna get on my nerves.

    Cmf x

  3. randomx
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    1 January 2022 in reply to CMF

    Remember to kids go in and out of very clingy and protective too stages even at 18. With sis away before he might be taking over lucky you haha, she's back though now right. Or spotted an op with her away to get some dad time , get to know you , who knows. So much goes on in their heads at those ages.

    He's cracking me up but eh poor cm , you would've been sighing relief when she went away but wait !!!!.

    rx

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  4. CMF
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    1 January 2022 in reply to randomx

    Yeah. She made up for it today. We had a nice NYE at M's with friends. She's told me about the bf, she's giving him the cold shoulder now. I'm guessing it's over, too many red flags, but she seems pretty fine about it to me. This morning my older kids' grandfather on their dad's side passed away. I went to M's around lunchtime to hangout. I was a little down. Sis had dj/club music going as she lay by the pool in bikinis 3 sizes too small (even worst last night). Kitchen was mess. I automatically thought I can't stay with this music. & her in the too small bikini I needed a quiet arvo. I went to leave but older d wanted to come over so we stayed. At lunch sis was mothering his boys then we talked about noises we hear in houses. She told us how she's scared to be in that big house alone if M's not there. She barracudas the door when she used to live alone & when she was interstate last week. She's pretty much saying She's scared on her own so clearly not moving out till she has a man to live with. Proves why she jumped at the chance to move in with M.her & M chatted at lunch. He told her about tge dinner he & son had last week, stuff he didn't tell me & I saw him that night. He tried ti include me but I had switched off. My anxiety rose, lunch stuck in my throat. I grabbed my things and left. M wanted me to stay, asked what was wrong but I couldn't breathe, had to get our. If she coukd she'd jump in his bed with her too small undergarments.

  5. CMF
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    1 January 2022 in reply to CMF
    He wanted me to stay and enjoy the pool with him but I couldn't. I watched them be a 'couple' the whole time I was there. I couldn't stay. I had to get out. I'm still struggling, can't breathe properly.
  6. CMF
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    1 January 2022 in reply to CMF
    ...and she's posting on social media all the things she's doing, jumping into 2022, living life, nye party etc telling me she knows that her bf will see it all cos he's always on his phone. He's having a bit of a breakdown, depressed, seeing 2 therapists. I know he's hurt her but she's is so insensitive to do that. She clearly didn't love him cos she's got M.
  7. CMF
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    1 January 2022 in reply to CMF

    She steamrolls everything. I sent m,'s son a link to a tribute show for some singers he likes. Wow sis already bought tickets. Of course she did. Gotta look after her kids.no wonder I stopped trying. It's all coming back to me.

    I told M everything about today. How I felt & why. I Especially mentioned her giving the 'bf' a taste of his own medicine & all the social media posts that she knows he'll see, depicting her having a great time. Told him it's cruel considering the bf is struggling with depression. M agreed both of them being cruel doesn't make it right. I explained bf can't help it if he's depressed. She's doing it intentionally. He agreed she/they don't understand depression but i told him if she really loved him she'd not be cruel about it. M hasn't seen the posts, no idea what she's like but has said he'd be turned off if I posted everything i did. Nevertheless, the sun still shines out of her behind in the too small bikinis. I know it's his sister but he doesn't like those qualities in a woman, and it's a generation thing. shame he can't see what she's really like at times or say something.

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  8. randomx
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    1 January 2022 in reply to CMF

    Yeah l mean like him or not that sort of depression is serious stuff she shouldn't be prodding him right now that's literally dangerous. But eh childish too as you'd know it's too often exactly what they do these days sadly.

    The bikini stuff is just weird , tacky as hell too , and around her brother and kids, why would you ? Such a shame for you cm it's all literally stopped you being able to be a normal couple all this time, even just in your coming and goings and the little things, all of it. But l can fully understand it's effect for you.

    lt's amazing though the kids have all taken to his place and family, you two and all of it, come and go seems quite happily and at home, really nice. Hard to get too l'd imagine usually with new partners.

    Sorry l don't have a sis pill.

    Big hugs. rx

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  9. CMF
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    2 January 2022 in reply to randomx
    Yeah...we do come and go easily and all get along. Of course he defended her when I mentioned the comment about not wanting to be in the house alone,without M. Kept saying she's just joking. Why won't he just admit she ain't moving? It's comepletely weird her moving in and living like their mother/wife. His ex did wrong but sis has stirred the pot, like she is with her bf now. Not a nice quality. M& I have had NOalone time for about a month. That doesn't help, as you know. Now she will ALWAYS be there again. His boys are going away today we should be able to have the house to ourselves, by he pool, reconnect, but no,the boss is there to squash that opportunity. Yeah the bikini bottoms were embarrassing. Why would you wear that in front of your older bro or me & the kids? Not normal for someone so 'intelligent..
     
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  10. CMF
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    2 January 2022 in reply to CMF
    Last week sis had the girls over for a swim. M & son went out for dinner, then we all went for icecream cos he wanted to give them space as he knew the girls were too embarrassed to wear bathers in front of him. He gave her space, she's never done that for us. Instead she includes herself.
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  11. CMF
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    2 January 2022 in reply to CMF

    I don't even feel like going out today. He may as well stay home and play with his sis. Thry can sit by the pool sipping their mixer drinks like yesterday. Then they can have lunch and organise their boys.

    Oh, just remembered the boys are going away today. Dear me, I hope she's OK all alone in that big house while M & I are out.

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  12. randomx
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    2 January 2022 in reply to CMF

    Well at least sis's outfits aren't rubbing off on your girls then eh , they must think wth. Such a shame, this could be such a nice just normal time for you two to just be you two, and you guys always have such nice time when you can be a normal couple and it all seems to just regrow between you again.

    Wouldn't like to be m atm though, must admit it is a bit rock and a hard place with their house deal and everything she's done.

    rx

  13. CMF
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    2 January 2022 in reply to randomx
    Yeah it's great when we connect. While she was away I was a different person. Wr had a nice lunch today. I was so moody with my d & cos of sis. When he said kids will be kids told him it's not just kids, that I've told him the rest. I relaxed a bit & told him he could've slept at mine tonight, he agreed but then changed to tomorrow night & said he'd take Little Miss Tuesday as I'm working. So sis will be on her own. Poor baby. Looks like her & bf are done judging by all posts. Photos of her by the pool today (something M & I could have been enjoying)Always mentioning 2022 & new starts Cher's 'Strong enough ' in background with the words 'strong enough to live without you...you gotta go' just twisting the knife in his back as she does. Oh well, she can cozy up with M tonight.
  14. randomx
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    2 January 2022 in reply to CMF

    Ahhh look , it is unbelievable the way grown people will carry on on sm , tell ya, and for the whole world to see , just boggles the mind. And writing ridiculous rubbish like that, could she be more obvious, l've seen it first hand with friends going through divorce or whatever, it's beyond me.

    Really don't envy m though, he surely must be well aware of your sis moods by now but it's a tricky one.

    rx

  15. CMF
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    2 January 2022 in reply to CMF

    I'm disappointed. I spoke about the girl who invited my D's bf to stay at her place after M's son's bdsy saying no one needed to know. She then managed to have a pool party at M's house for her bday without asking M, then tried to embarrass my daughter in front of others on NYE asking how her bf is after they'd split up. She walked into M's nye didn't say hi to me and wanted to read out a letter in front of her bf's family at Xmas to embarrass the bf's mother who didn't like her. I told M what I think of this girl and he told me I'm too hard, that she's OK. Just cos she's bubbly & smiley in front of him doesn't make her a nice person. So much for having my back, knowing all the things this girl has done esp to my daughter. But he doesn't say his sis is harsh with her posts for her bf to see while he's struggling with depression even though he agrees it's not nice but the excuse is she doesn't understand what it's like.

    What a cop out.

  16. randomx
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    2 January 2022 in reply to CMF

    Oh noooo, now there are two, just what you need. Wow that one sounds like a number and a half.

  17. CMF
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    3 January 2022 in reply to randomx

    Just when I thought I was seeing some hope & light I've fallen back down the hole. Back to square 1.

    Why???

  18. CMF
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    4 January 2022 in reply to CMF

    Feeling better today. Back at work, some sort of routine returning. M stayed over last night and has taken little miss out today while I work.

    I wish these negative feelings of anger & resentment would go away. I need to get back on track and enjoy the good things.

    Cmf x

  19. CMF
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    4 January 2022 in reply to CMF

    M says his sis was joking when she said she's scared in that big house if M isn't there. The irony is that she is bigger than most men at 6ft 3inches tall and a solid frame. Maybe she was joking but she did want to know if M's son would be home Thursday night as M will be away overnight at a wedding. Despite the awful feelings I have at times he does take what I say into consideration and proves it. He also does things that show he is here for me.

    Cmf x

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  20. quirkywords
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    4 January 2022 in reply to CMF

    CMF

    glad you are feeling better today.

    M is there for you and really listens and cares for you, traits which show he is reliable.

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  21. CMF
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    5 January 2022 in reply to quirkywords

    Thanks Quirky,

    Went to M's tonight. Sis told me she had a reading done was told her & bf not done despite Sis saying she is done. He just needs space. I had to point out if her bf does have depression he can't help the way he's behaving but doesn't make it ok. M told her she should talk to me & he went outside to watch little miss in the pool. We started talking. Bf would like to live interstate near thebeach. She'sprepared to move down ge coast as He has friends there. She is prepared to move there and work a few days here, few days there. She also said her tenants have a 6 month tenancy & they could move into her place as he's struggling on his own. There was alot more and she's hoping they'll talk face to face soon & nut things our rather than texting. Wow, it's the first I've heard of them actually living together & she's prepared to move down the coast for him. She did say she wouldn't want to live next door to his friends. Too close for comfort...haha. hello.....

    Anyway, alot of info in 1 night but interesting. I do enjoy 1 on 1 chats with her. I'm annoyed at myself for the negative feelings I get but M doesn't tell me anything unless I bring it up, then it's wishy washy probably cos he doesn't know himself.

    Guess we'll see.

    Cmf x

  22. randomx
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    5 January 2022 in reply to CMF

    Well there ya go , that's pretty big hey and all might not be lost yet.

    So why is she acting like such an idiot especially in the state he's in if she still hopes to work it out , talk about sabotage. l know you don't have that answer such is the sis l know. Anywayyyyy, if they did get back and that went ahead- your problems would be solved , eeehh haaa for cm.

    rx

  23. CMF
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    6 January 2022 in reply to randomx

    Hey rx,

    In her eyes it's over, however the clairvoyant told her it isn't & she needs to give him time. I know it's all hurt her. I have to laugh cos it looked Ike M did a runner when I said " you know what I think...this is just my opinion". He looked uncomfortable as he went outside to watch little miss but he did tell sis she should talk to me but he knows my feelings on the way sis posted on social media knowing he'd see. He's having a bit of a breakdown, she wants to help, he won't let her.

    It seems my reading was accurate saying he'll push to live together (hes pushing to live intersate) & he's not being himself , his true colours will come out ( she is questioning who he is now as this was sudden).

    Fun times ahead.

  24. CMF
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    6 January 2022 in reply to CMF

    As I've always said, I don't know what it's like to go to his place and really see him on his own, just him & his kids. I wonder, if she moves out, if she'll still have so much pull over him? How will that reliance he has change?

    Need to focus & manifest what I want, not what I don't want this year.

    Cmf x

  25. randomx
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    6 January 2022 in reply to CMF

    Well it's funny . We know how much m just loves a deep soulful talk haha , but really it was a good idea tbh anyway, leaving you to chat with her. She could use your input and a womanly chat , might even help your relationship with her a little.

    But eh , on the other hand to l don't blame him l wouldn't wanna be mixed up in her love life either . Yeah it's suc a shame you two never get that such a normal thing with just you two. They'll always be close but if she did move down the coast it'd still be huge for you two.

    rx

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  26. CMF
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    8 January 2022 in reply to randomx

    So I'm always wishing it was just M, myself & the kids. Well today M, myself & his son tested positive for Covid. Sis hasn't tested positive...yet.

    I have to chuckle as M said "at least we got it together "

    Cmf 😄

  27. randomx
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    8 January 2022 in reply to CMF

    Really , after all this . Hoping you guys all sale through then as many do.

    Would you believe gf's son, his wife, their new baby and their 3yrs old all got it and have just gotten through it this last wk. Thankfully they really didn't have anything much not even the baby, just a very mild cold type thing.

    Good luck

    rx

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  28. CMF
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    9 January 2022 in reply to randomx

    Thanks rx,

    I feel so crap. Headache, aches, hot/cold.. my skin is so sensitive. Feel like I've been hit by a bus. Not hungry/hungry, wanna throw up.

    It's not pleasant that's for sure.

  29. CMF
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    12 January 2022 in reply to CMF

    Incoming rant...

    So we have Covid,probably why I'm so grumpy & hating the world lol. Sis doesn't have it & they're not keeping apart cos she noticed his breath was really bad. I was tempted to ask if she knew cos they'd been kissing.

    I've told M several times how hard it is to get food delivered from supermarket, not to mention the delivery fee. No reaction/care/concern but tells me his mum did shopping for them. Thanks for asking if we are OK.

    He tells me he might HAVE TO buy a virtual bike trainer. You hook up your bike & can ride 'anywhere in the world' with others. As we're in isolation he can't cycle. They are a few $1,000. Well it got delivered today. $1 000's just like that while I'm trying not to get ripped off for food delivery & am overwhelmed with expenses. He reminds me of a spoilt kid. Gotta have it. Gets it. Maybe he saved for it but it sounded spur of the moment. As soon as we had to isolate he said he had to get one. Can't miss out on anything. No not him.

    He gave me his foxtel log in to watch some "good shows'. I won't watch what he suggests cos I never like what he likes. We have completely different taste. Also, these are shows he watches/watched with sis. So he's enjoyed watching them with wifey (hence why I don't get a call at night but when I called he sounded like I was bothering him) but I'm left to watch alone. No thanks. Not interested in being your sloppy 2nd.

    Been cooped up too long. Getting very agro & frustrated.

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  30. CMF
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    13 January 2022 in reply to CMF

    He & sis can now train on their bikes together. They can sweat together& she can smell his breath.Yippee.

    I guess I'm feeling very separated from him. We are so different when apart. Regardless of circumstances nothing changes for him. Can't cycle? Buy a new toy. Can't leave the house for food? Get mum to do it. BTW when he tested positive I took them a pot of minestrone I'd made. Need help with kids/house? Sis will help. Never struggled, never had to work things out for himself. Always someone to jump in & do it for him.It's not his fault. He's just lucky but we're so different. He's also very generous with me but I can't help seeing this spoilt kid in him. He didn't grow up spoilt at all, they had nothing when he was a kid. I go out & shop too...from Kmart whereas his treats are 100's or $1000 & I'm seeing more & more of it. I know he works & can do what he wants with his money but I watch my pennies, he throws them away.

    we are so different & I'm getting anxiety.

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