Hello Quercus
Your post, the one above my last post, had not reached the forum when I replied to the post before that one.. Does that sound muddled?
Like most of us I can relate to many of the observations you have listed above.
I am subservient especially to men. So am I and it's because of our past experiences.
I am apologetic constantly. I used to do this but now it has dropped to often - still a work in progress.
I apologise for wasting people's time. Sometimes but not very noticeably. I think it happens appropriately these days.
I act like my feelings don't matter. Definitely was me but I'm not sure these days. I also tend to speak out more.
I appease others. This is a tricky for me. I do think it's a hurdle to need to get over.
I don't know what I like. No, I have my own ideas but I rather suspect I was willing to give them up to appease others.
I act like my opinion doesn't matter. Was true but I'm getting better at standing my ground. I hope I can do this gracefully.
I make light of situations that have upset me. Again was one of mine. Starting to let people know I am upset but got a way to travel on this.
I forgive others even when they don't deserve it. Deserving forgiveness does not come into the equation. We forgive others so that we are not carrying the burden of hate. It's a way of letting go our anger, hurt etc. The other probably does know or care he/she has been forgiven and it doesn't matter.
I make excuses for people's behaviour. Not usually, I just consider those who behave badly are rude. Don't care what problems they have. Courtesy is always necessary.
I am not angry when others probably would be. Oh yes, a biggie there. My GP is always telling there are situations when it's OK to be angry. Getting better at working out the difference.
I blame myself unnecessarily. Well when everyone else is perfect who else is there to blame? 😊
I have been away from the forums just lately, not long. It's been rather a traumatic week and I am trying to forget and/or decide what to do. There is so much anger and hurt and I'm not sure which is the biggest bit. I have been reading posts but could not bring myself to reply. And it's not your fault. Appointment with my psych this morning which may help.
Mary