Dear Mrs Dools

I am a fond eater of yum cha and have done so for many years! The mango pancakes are amongst my favourites and we try to eat fairly often at various yum cha establishments.There is even one we drive 78klms to get too! (one of my brothers lives close to it).

One of the things we do when we travel at Xmas is try to find a local village with people less fortunate than ourselves and I take all the deflated soccer balls that our club no longer uses (and my pump) and give them out to the children. The look on their faces is priceless. Our family kids collect drawing stuff and colouring books to give out as well. The last time we did this two years ago, the family kids said they got an even bigger kick out of Xmas as a result!

Hope everyone is having a better day today..

Much love and support to all

Go Girl Interrupted! A woman who clearly "gets me" at this time of year! A kindred spirit....hallelujah, you understand how I feel, my sweet little Christmas Elf!

Saw on TV last night I think it was....a current affairs type show in prime time.....and they had a whole segment on discussing HAMS!! Yeah you heard me - hams! Which ones, big ones, small ones , middle sized ones,? which ones to get? How to slice it? What knife to use? What glaze to paint on?

What a dilemma! What stress it is causing people, they had to do a whole segment with this bloke, a butcher or supermarket guy pointing out the pros and cons of these various pink bundles of cooked pig!!

Gimme a break......

Hi Panther,

Here on the forum, you just have to be yourself!

I'm still not sure about the chicken feet thought! I enjoy the anticipation at a yum cha feast when all the dishes and containers come out and I curiously wonder what is on offer! Mmmm. I am making myself hungry just thinking about it!

If you want to have a laugh, then google "Cats and Christmas trees". Try to keep a straight face as you watch cats destroy Christmas trees. Some of the clips are hilarious!

Cheers all from Mrs. Dools

Hi Moonstruck,

I really am so sorry to read you are doing this season so tough. I'm not really sure how you can get around it when you are constantly surrounded by the season.

Can you take ear plugs tot he shops so you don't hear the Christmas songs.

For your own personal space maybe grunt and walk funny and people will take a wide berth of you. Better still scratch yourself and have fake dandruff an inch think on your shoulders.

Count to ten, take some deep breathes and tell yourself you are breathing in peace and harmony. If you do that often enough it might help!

Other wise I am not sure what else to suggest. Hang in there. Not too many days to go now!

On a serious note, have you been to see your Dr to talk about how you are feeling or to ask if you can take something for a short period of time to help you get through this. Something calming would be good.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

Hi Shred and everyone,

Shred, I love the idea of sharing Christmas with people you meet along the way. Such a wonderful idea.

There is so much wastage, it is wonderful to know people look out for others like that.

I've heard of people fixing up push bikes and toys so they can be passed on to people who have nothing.

I mentioned in an earlier post for someone to look up "Cats in Christmas Trees". Some of the clips are really funny. Our cats have really been quite good and haven't destroyed anything other than the lounge suit!

All of our Asian restaurants are at least 80 kilometres away, so I certainly understand travelling for Yum Cha!

Hey Moonstruck, I know the incorrect way to slice ham off the bone. Use a blunt knife and cut towards yourself. I sliced a tendon, went to hospital for an operation and had 6 weeks off work! Did they cover that on the show you watched? How not to cut a ham?

Then there is what to do with left over ham after Christmas! How many meals can you think off that you can use ham in?

Take a deep breathe everyone, it is nearly January! Ha. Ha.

Cheers one and all from Mrs. Dools

hey Mrs Dools - Good morning beautiful woman,

I grunt, walk funny and scratch myself all the time when I'm out - doesn't work.People still recognise me, come up, smile, say nice things to me and those of the opposite gender have also been known to comment "Geez you're a sort !" It's terrible - I wear sunglasses so i can hide, ALL the time (even if it looks like rain) and still Christmas jumps out from around corners at me!!

I don't collect recipes for left over ham because I don't have any. I don't have any ham at all...ever...particularly not at Christmas!!

something calming from the Dr you suggest? Oh what bliss that would be Mrs Dools......my GP won't give me Anything At All...no calming pills, not ever - even when it's not Christmas and I am going crazy with anxiety and stress. Doesn't seem fair does it?

Didn't I see that your husband is taking you away for a surprise holiday or something? Is that right? That's lovely for you if so. ....I hope you have a fabulous time and stay well.......luv Moon S

i hate christmas too, just seeing baubals on sale & tinsel around the shopping centres makes me angry. id like to say that it's the fact it's a commercialized capitalist superficial holiday and that's why i hate it, but i think it's just the fact its so amazing and jouyous for everyone else and other people being so happy makes me sad. then again, i hate everything from easter to my birthday so maybe im a just a disgruntled grinch at heart

Hi Moon,

I had a laugh reading your post! Some of the people at Church come right up close to talk to me, I step back, they step forward. I have a vision thing as well, the closer they get the harder it is for me to focus on them. Sends my eyes crazy and gives me a headache! Ha. Ha.

Maybe you need a T'shirt that reads BACK OFF.

Shame your Dr. won't give you anything to help you calm down. Have you had a chat at the chemist to see if there is something you can use? Or a health shop? Some people swear by natural remedies. It is always good to check out if they are compatible with your prescription medication if you take any.

Yes, we are going away to Bali for Christmas. My husband has booked us in somewhere for Christmas dinner.

I am curious to see how the Balinese express/show Christmas for the tourists. You probably don't want to know about that though. Ha. Ha. We leave on the 19th and have people here to look after the pets.

Hey, guess what! I put up the Christmas tree!

Years ago I bought a flat pack 2 piece wooden Christmas tree that slots together. I now have it in the lounge room.

My dear husband is telling me I am not allowed to send Christmas cards to family and friends...after he tells me he paid $50.00 postage for a bottle of beer from the USA! Inequality big time in this house.

Anyway, Happy Anti Christmas!

Cheers from Mrs. Dools

Lol thank you Moon! Happy to be your little Christmas Elf - reminds me of Will Ferrell in Elf. About the only xmas film that cracks me up. Lol highly entertaining if you havent seen it already, check it out. No doubt it will be on FreeTV soon (again). Pleeeeze anything but National Lampoon's vacation or anything with Chevy Chase (nothing against him, just overkill with these films on every year). I tend to avoid free tv most of the time.

Re- ham - really?! OMG when will the madness end! Just taking it too far.... lol. So over the hype. I'm grateful I only have to get a couple of gifts this year. Still a stressful task but somewhat less time consuming. Bring on the festive drinking lol. Actually I don't really drink that much, but what can I say, this time of year brings it out of me. Lol.

Just read your post. This is me to a tee lol. I agree it is sensationalism and over-hype. I hate most festive events include my own bday. I guess I just don't like being the center of attention. Makes me uncomfortable and more depressed lol. I guess we have to find something to be thankful for. Maybe check out the 3 daily things you're grateful for (one of Mrs Dools threads). I find this really helpful. Do you have any family you spend time with? How do you usually get thru it?

Thats a great idea Mrs D! I like your suggestion to Moon to wear earplugs. I often do that when I remember to take my headphones - just zone out to a fave tune while I'm out shopping. Helps me to relax and get the job done without too much drama.

Evening all

It's becoming more real for me now - picked up our OS currency today and still have to get through an anniversary before we fly out in a fortnight. I hate Christmas - it's fallen apart since we lost Mum and Dad and our family is not together anymore. I still have to work on so many things just to get through it.I suppose though I will be in another country - but far from friends who make it easier to manage.

In my work I have given to others which is easy - but I am all out of giving or receiving right now..just so tired and can't really get excited that much..

Hi Ekakat,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Is that a photo of your cat? Does the picture show how you feel about Christmas and other supposedly joyous occasions?

I'm already thinking I want to do Christmas differently next year. I feel like other people tell me what I am doing for Christmas, so I am going to start early and make plans for next year now!

For a bit of a laugh, Google "Cats and Christmas Trees" there are some really funny clips to watch.

No matter what you do over the next few weeks, I hope you keep safe and look after yourself.

Cheerio for now, from Mrs. Dools

Hi Shred,

As the count down to your trip is fast approaching, can you make times to catch up with some of your friends before you go away? It doesn't have to be "For Christmas" just a catch up. Also is it possible for you to stay connected with friends while you are away?

I have so many hang ups around my Mum and Christmas, you can have my Mum if you like! LOL. I am not wanting to make fun at all in your loss or in anyone else's loss at this time, or any time of year. It is just so hard with my Mum.

Right, back to you Shred, in the mornings can you think of one positive and nice thing you can do for yourself sometime during the day. It might be taking the time to go for a walk, buying something special for a meal, having a coffee while reading the paper/book/magazine, soaking your feet in warm water with marbles to rub your feet on, or any other activity that will give you a little boost.

The other day I picked flowers from the garden to bring inside. I found time to sit and read a book. I played card games to keep my mind active. I went for an invigorating walk in very strong wind and that helped me to feel alive and fresh.

Regarding the Anniversary, can you do something special on that day to honour your memories? When it was our (deceased) son's 21st birthday, I bought a cake, had candles and matches, went to park, sang him happy birthday, cried, ate some cake and went for a long walk.

It felt good and horrible at the same time. In the end I was thankful I had done something.

Thinking of you Shred, and sorry once again for making fun of Mothers. My sister refers to our Mum as a sleeping crocodile. You never know when she will snap or if it is safe to approach her!

Cheers for now, sending you heaps of hugs and a shoulder to cry on if you need it, from Mrs. Dools

Hi Girl-interrupted,

Just yesterday a lady in the Opportunity shop where I am presently volunteering stated she was very disappointed to not hear Christmas carols being played while out and about this year! I had a little chuckle to myself! Ha. Ha. The lady then put on the Christmas CD in the shop. I was serving at the time and actually enjoyed some of the songs, others made me want to cry.

People were coming in looking for gifts they could afford for family and friends. One young boy was so very excited his Mum was able to afford to buy three bon-bons, that didn't even match! The smile on his gorgeous little face was amazing.

So many people are doing it tough in so many ways. My heart goes out to everyone.

Love, hugs and a shoulder to cry on to all who are struggling right now!

Hi grinches 😄 and non-grinches (grinners?) OK if I join in?

Mrs Dools what a very fine thread this is! Go you! (To Bali if you insist.)

Well, it's finally beaten me. Despite my determination to live in my own reality and ignore Christmas, I finally have to accept that It's Coming.

Shred, Moon, ekat and GI and anyone I've missed, I'm with you guys. The manufactured joy, commercially construed gift giving designed to line the pockets of retailers, the mandatory ham and turkey - and plum pudding erk, blergh! - leave me cold.

I'm not religious so the 'true' meaning bypasses me (I often wish I was at Christmas so at least it could mean something). And I have a split/blended family, so working out who's going to have Christmas where is always stressful.

But nothing, nothing compares to the shops at Christmas. My idea of hell. Last year I did all my gift buying online. Sadly I've left it a bit late this year (in my denial that Christmas was approaching). So, I will have to brave the shops on Monday. If I can get through that without throwing something, I will have done well. Might need a cup of tea and a little lie down afterwards.

You know there is one positive thing about Christmas - Boxing Day. I love Boxing Day. Sydney to Hobart and cricket on the tele. The rule in my house is everyone for themselves on BD, do whatever you like. Just don't bother me on the couch in front of the tele. 😄

OK, that's my vent. Love to you all.

Kaz

xx

Hi Kaz,

Welcome! Sounds like you have come tot the right place regarding Christmas feelings! Ha. Ha.

For me the sad thing is that I would love to celebrate Christmas in our home or at my sister's places or friend's homes.

Over the decades I have invited family to our place Christmas Day but for one reason or another they have not come. Parents have said it is because we don't have Grandchildren here for them to be with. Both sisters always had their husband's families to connect with.

I had thought that for one year in 3 decades the family could have made the effort to have Christmas in our home. We have been here there and everywhere to catch up with them and some years have not been invited at all.

This year I was going to invite friends here for Christmas in the afternoon and evening. I was going to attend Church, I love the Christian Christmas story. I love the Christmas carols even though they make me cry. I was going to help out with the Church Christmas lunch.

Now my husband has planned this trip to Bali. Lovely yes. Out of my control yes.

My husband has also told me I am not allowed to buy gifts for anyone and can not send cards. It is like the last bit of Christmas cheer I might have had has been taken from me.

This festive season has really done my head in. My Dr. wanted to put me in hospital when I saw him last week. I promised him I wouldn't do anything stupid or permanent.

So each day now I try to make the most of my time. I will write out some cards when my husband is asleep and post them with out him knowing. I think he hates Christmas more than I do, but he doesn't have to totally destroy it for me!

Bah Humbug! The Festive Season! What a load of manure! Ha. Ha. At least manure is good for the garden!

Cheers for now all, from Mrs. Dools

Thanks so much Mrs Dools for your kind words yet again.

I have a few appointments on the day of the anniversary itself but, as for keeping in touch with friends while away I will have very limited access to emails and the like. As the time gets closer I am working hard on some sort of plan to get through the days. I know we will be delivering things to those less fortunate and that will be a highlight but I will be stuck with one of my family members who will never understand.

As my meds are still not at what they say is therapeutic levels - I am concerned I won't manage but, I guess I can send a message to my psychologist if I need to (she has already said I could).

These blasted disorders rule your life and make celebrating anything near impossible.

I shall really have to focus on those I come across who are less fortunate and try and see the happiness that they might get out of receiving.

I must remember though that one of those who I am travelling with is my favourite niece - she is wise beyond her years...we do lots together and she takes me as I am with no expectations. I love her dearly and she is one of the main reasons why I am still here.

I am trying to avoid the shops now...far too much hype and craziness..and that's fairly easy because I am not out a lot at present. That's something I am working on too..

So, let's hope a plane trip is not an issue and I can relax, take time to remember those no longer with us, and get some Vit D.

This Shred is not going to be draped in tinsel! Baa Humbug

You lucky people who are flying away for C Day!! How wonderful. (Be careful of suspicious looking white powder in Bali Mrs Dools...come back safely...I would be too scared to go there! But then, I'm too scared to go shopping at this time of year too.)

I recall a friend telling me that one year she had missed Christmas Day entirely.....on a plane...flying between countries, something to do with the date line or whatever....said she took to the skies on Christmas Eve and landed in another country on Boxing Day! How fabulous is that!!!

She was overjoyed to discover this was possible...but wait!...oh no, the onboard airline staff couldn't let all the passengers miss Christmas could they??

Oh no, when it was Christmas Day "somewhere down there" the attendants all put their silly hats on, made everyone sing carols, tossed a bit of tinsel around etc.........see? You can hide all you like....it's no use, there's no escaping it!

Great thread for all those out there who dread the so-called festive season.

I am blessed that my (dysfunctional) family lives on the other side of the planet. My daughter will be overseas. And there's no way Xmas will find me in this remote, isolated area. No jingle bells within cooee and not a scrap of tinsel in sight. Only an ex Xmas tree long planted out in the paddock, standing tall and bauble free among hundreds of other trees.

My thoughts will be with you all...I remember those days of compulsory celebrations all too well. I wish I could invite you in my wilderness to celebrate our escape from seasonal madness. I'm sure it would be an interesting and entertaining gathering...

One of my recent joyful moments has been watching my German Shepherd rip a Santa dog toy to shreds and tufts of white stuffing. One of his well-meaning fans' gifts. It lasted all of 2 minutes if that. It took me much longer to pick up hundreds of widely scattered pieces but tossing the remains in the incinerator made the effort worthwhile. Good to send Santa UP the chimney for a change...gone in a puff of smoke !

Well, there you go...This change of profile photo came through just in time !

First, a quick grab at the offender and a crocodile roll. You know what happened next...enjoy !

Ah, so you reckon Christmas won't find you Star...won't sniff you out hey? Be careful sweetheart....it's probably spying on you right now, through binoculars or something....or a drone......see any drones up there in the sky near your wilderness? Yep, that's Christmas checking you out.....make sure you shut all the doors, windows and curtains....even then, it tends to seep through the cracks at you......I love your German Shepherd...what a smart dog!!

Hahaha, love that Moon. The Attack of the Christmas Drones! I can imagine them on Christmas Day zooming through the bush after Star, playing White Christmas, dangling plum pudding in her face and dive bombing her with tinsel. Just you wait Star, you'll see - no one escapes Christmas ...

I could do with a drone to do my shopping. Where can I get one?

Cheers and jingle balls

Kaz

Good morning everyone,

Only about 20 more days until 2017 kicks in! Yah.

Yesterday we were at a Christmas luncheon for one of the clubs my husband is involved in.

Apart from the delicious ham, Christmas cake and the giving out of Christmas cards, you would not have really known it was a Christmas party. No tree, no decorations, no carols playing.

It was a lovely event, relaxing, everyone friendly and chatty, plenty of food, casual and enjoyable.

Now, if I could bottle that and sprinkle it over a family Christmas event, It would be wonderful! Ha. Ha.

Cheers all, and don't forget to look for those tinsel draped, plum pudding dumping drones!

Hi Mrs D and everyone,

StarWolf, your wildnerness and isolation sounds lovely - peace and quiet this time of year is rare, so enjoy it. As long as it's not too isolating (which has the opposite effect!) My dog also brings me a lot of joy. He's a shredder as well - tears toys to bits in seconds. Even those big tire things with the long rope - gone in a matter of days lol. I must buy him some new toys. It'll be fun watching him get excited with a new activity.

Moon, it's impossible to escape the madness! The only relief I can think of is somewhere remote like StarWolf or even Mrs D's Bali idea. One day, I would love to see snow and experience a white Christmas. There's something magical about snow falling... This year I will be seeing the xmas lights with my family (we drive around looking at all the best houses advertised)- that's about the only thing that gives me joy about xmas.

Shred, I hear you! Xmas - stands for kiss my A! haha. I'm sorry you have such a hard time over the festive season - but it is definitely good to help out those less fortunate. Seeing someone's face light up when they have had very little or nothing to hope for, it's a wonderful feeling being able to give them comfort and a little bit of cheer. Your niece sounds like she's really good for you. It's great that you have someone who you can spend time with, who doesn't judge you and just accepts you as you are.

Kazzl I wish someone would do my shopping for me lol. Mind you I only have a couple of gifts to get, but I just have no idea. Soaps and coffee cups are just too cliche. Yep I think there should be a market for "hired gift buyers" I reckon they'd make a killing. Pay someone to go out and do the hard work for you.

I've decided 2017 is going to be a better year. I will challenge myself not to be miserable and depressed and make more effort to be thankful for the things I have. I'm trying to get my xmas cards sorted, but absolutely dreading lining up at the post office - there's never a good time, it's always busy. I just have no energy and the more I think about it the more depressed and anxious I get. Then I think bugger it I won't bother, I'll just send out a more personal email to a few people. I mean really, xmas cards have more sentiment but we throw them out every year so what's the point? Sorry I'm being so negative. I hope everyone is coping ok with the xmas stress x

A sensible, enjoyable Xmas party...glad you could experience this rare event. Kinda refreshing...and good to know they do exist.

Tinsel wrapped drones...what a scary thought. Could be a horror movie scenario. Enough to make me crawl down a wombat hole bunker. But nah, I'm safe. Done this no Xmas thing before. Thank heavens for the dense tree cover. Should the odd drone fall through, it would go the way the Santa toy did...destroyed before it could hit the ground. It would take a long drive from here to become a target and that...is not going to happen during that week.

Can't avoid shopping trips into town leading up to it though. I'm grateful for the hour and a half + it takes to psych myself up to it. But I still curse and sigh at the first set of traffic lights...

Jingle balls ? Kaz, you crack me up...

One tries Star, one tries. 😄

Hey - a tip for geting through stuff that makes you angry at Christmas ... has anyone seen the Specsavers ad with the young woman teaching an anger management class? Before she ends up losing it herself she tells the class she's going to teach them how to turn their anger into a 'beautiful swan'.

That's become my hubby's and my catch phrase for calming down. When one of us starts to get edgy, the other says 'beautiful swan, beautiful swan'. People must have thought we were mad in The Shops this morning ... blaring Christmas carol - 'beautiful swan', annoying kids - 'beautiful swan', numpty service staff - 'beautiful swan'. It works because eventually you have to laugh.

Cheers, and may all your thoughts be beautiful swans.

Kaz

Hey there all

Just when I thought I had enough anniversaries to work through I get news of an old workmate (old job but only 45 years of age) who passed away last night in hospital. My distress at losing another good soul is hard to manage...a great worker who gave an awful lot and went above and beyond.

It's not fair - she leaves behind three beaut kids and a husband.

I wish I felt well enough to pop out and see them (they are about 40klms away)..

So Bah Humbug strikes yet again - I feel like I have been tested enough this year and during the festive season.

My niece and I spent an hour at the shops today and I hated it...she is so calming for me and very patient...Unfortunately we ran into some people I didn't want to deal with either so she piped up and just said We have to keep going - sorry. Wise beyond her years!

Mum's anniversary is Friday and I have appointments booked - just gotta work through it all huh.

Oh yeah - and someone put up mistletoe outside a shopping plaza! Can you believe it! So not into that either!!!

Shred out

Dear Shred,

Hi. I am so sorry to read that a person you cared for has recently died. If you don't feel up to visiting the family, maybe you could phone them. Sending a card is also a way of letting people know you are thinking of them.

If possible, you might be able to catch up with the children in the New Year. One thing with grief is that loved ones of the person who dies, keep on suffering while others move on with their lives. It may mean the world to the children to know that someone cares enough to catch up with them in the New Year.

Words evade me at the moment regarding your Mum's anniversary on Friday. I wish I had the words to share to help ease your grief and sense of loss. Maybe you could light a candle in her honour.

Hopefully your appointments will go okay.

Thinking of you and sending you some hugs,

From Mrs. Dools

Today's Riding for the Disabled was the last lesson for the year. Someone had bought decorative antlers for the horses and ponies. A couple of the horses were not impressed and kept shaking their heads. I was thinking to myself, "I know a few people who feel exactly the same way". Ha. Ha.

Some of the ladies were walking around playing Christmas carols on their mobile phones. One of the students really seemed to enjoy the music and he was smiling. He actually stayed on the horse for the whole of the lesson, he seemed to enjoy the music.

One lady had decorated up her horse with tinsel and she was wearing a Santa suit. The children loved this idea. It was so special to see their smiles today.

Today it was lovely to share some Christmas spirit with the children.

The lady in the Santa suit was doing exceptionally well also as it was about 30 degrees! Mrs. Santa must have been melting!

A bit of snow would have been welcome out there today!

Hey, mistletoe, I thought that was for New Year's Eve. Next thing we will be hanging Easter Eggs on the Christmas trees. Then again, they will just melt so that is not such a good idea!

Cheers all from Mrs. Dools