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Forums / Long term support over the journey / FESTIVE SEASON STRUGGLES

Topic: FESTIVE SEASON STRUGGLES

  1. 1113
    1113 avatar
    938 posts
    30 December 2016 in reply to nowhereman

    Hay Max,

    Are you still about?

    Hope all is well with you. I've been a bit worried as you haven't replied to anyone for a while.

    I hope your medications are balanced and your still taking them.

    I did reply to your thread "drastic action".

    Anyway if your reading this.........your not alone in weird life category. Ive experienced quite a few. When your so close to or experience a deathly experience....... it becomes very common.

    I would like to share some of my weird "outer worldly experiences".

    When ya ready.

    Peace

    Matt.

  2. james1
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    james1 avatar
    3061 posts
    30 December 2016 in reply to blondguy

    Waking up to the thought of everything I've done wrong is horrible. :( I don't understand why my brain has to be so nasty.

    I find this holiday period to be such a lonely period, even with friends.

    Mrs Dools, I hope things get better as we move past the Christmas period and into the new year.

    Paul, I'm sorry to hear about your dad. Not a good way to end the year, but hang in there. You've got a huge heart and we're all very glad to have you on the forums here.

    Everyone else (sorry, i'm a bit tired), I wish you a lovely final day to 2016. May 2017 be better.

    James

    2 people found this helpful
  3. 1113
    1113 avatar
    938 posts
    31 December 2016 in reply to james1

    Happy new year james,

    Paul,

    I tend to speed read. I skim across the top and look for people that are in need. I didn't even think to read your posts as you come across as strong and very well rounded.

    I am truly sorry to here of your loss.

    IMHO

    I truly believe that we all go to a better place and death is just the beginning of another more blissful life with all of our needs and expectations met.

    My humblest thoughts and best wishes go to you and your family in this very sad time.

    Hope the memories you have are of love and kindness.

    I would like to give my support to you! Even if its just my thoughts/words..

    May peace be with you

    Blessings to your late father.

    Think of you mate.

    Matt.

    2 people found this helpful
  4. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8853 posts
    31 December 2016 in reply to 1113

    Hi Everyone,

    Just dropping by to wish you all the best for the New Year. For those of you who don't have anywhere to go tonite, my thoughts are with you.

    I've already started to make a list of things I want to change in my life, foods I need to ignore due to my rising cholesterol, exercises to do, crafts to try, books to read and so on.

    Hopefully we will all be able to think of positive things on New Year's Eve, to remember the good things that have happened, acknowledge the bad and awful and let them rest in the year that has now passed.

    Looking forward to chatting with you all again soon.

    Love and hugs from Dools

  5. CMF
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    9223 posts
    31 December 2016 in reply to Doolhof

    Happy New Year Mrs Dools,

    i like the idea of letting the and and awful things of 2016 rest in the year that has passed.

    take care and I'm sure we will catch up in 2017

    cmf x

  6. Mauzy
    Mauzy avatar
    16 posts
    31 December 2016 in reply to Guest_9877BDCA
    Hi there, I also work in retail and know what you mean, Christmas just sucks the life out you doesn't it? I also had family for Christmas plus my own family, and it was lovely and all that, but I've really slumped after they've left and also want to curl up and sleep for the next 4 weeks! I came home from work today and had a big cry, feeling a bit better now. As for your medication, you may need to give it a few more weeks before it kicks in, annoying I know, but hopefully worth it for you. Chin up buttercup. Mauzy
  7. Starwolf
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    1 January 2017 in reply to Doolhof

    Thank you Mrs Dools for taking care of this terrific thread.

    The silly season is over, another difficult year behind us.

    May peace and calm return to every troubled soul.

    1 person found this helpful
  8. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8853 posts
    1 January 2017 in reply to Starwolf

    Hi Starwolf and Everyone,

    This morning at Church, our visiting minister was singing the praises of Christmas and how joyful it is for everyone. As I listened I had tears streaming down my face. For some people this season is not that flash.

    Her talk also gave me hope for today, tomorrow and the next day. Change is possible. Each day is a new opportunity.

    A man I was talking to after Church said a lady once said to him, "If you don't see a light at the end of the tunnel, then run down tot he end and light one!"

    I know that is easier said than done at times.

    A couple of days ago I started writing down changes I hope to/want to/ will make starting from now and as an on going exercise.

    There may be days when I feel like I am standing still or even going backwards, that is okay. As long as I know where I am, I can work on being somewhere else, a place I would prefer to be.

    I'm wishing everyone strength, determination, encouragement and motivation to at least think of changes you would like to make.

    I too wish you all peace and even more encouragement.

    Cheers all from Mrs. Dools

    3 people found this helpful
  9. blondguy
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    1 January 2017 in reply to Doolhof

    Hey Mrs Dools

    I hope you have a peaceful 2017 and thankyou for your crackerjack thread too :-)

    Hugs

    Paulx

    Matt: I am the same as a speed reader...no worries at all. Thankyou so much for the heartfelt condolences you beautifully wrote about my dad Ray..I am not religious but bless you my friend. Paul

    2 people found this helpful
  10. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8853 posts
    1 January 2017 in reply to blondguy

    Hey Paul,

    Thanks for the hugs. They are most welcomed!

    All the best to you as well. Cheers mate from Mrs. D xxx

  11. kombitop
    kombitop avatar
    20 posts
    2 January 2017 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi there,

    I'm just new to this, registering the other day. I feel the same as a lot of other posts..........finding this time of year especially alone and lonely. Don't have friends or family, and feel so isolated. Need some kind of support network, so hoping this can help me.

    Thanks

    1 person found this helpful
  12. CMF
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    9223 posts
    2 January 2017 in reply to kombitop

    Hi kombitop and welcome,

    Sorry to hear you are feeling like this. You are never 'alone' here, so many wonderful people willing to help. Have you started your own thread where you can share your story? More people will see it and be able to respond. You can also join in in other threads if you wish.

    cmf x

  13. kombitop
    kombitop avatar
    20 posts
    2 January 2017 in reply to CMF
    Hi cmf, and thanks for the welcome. No, I haven't started my own thread. Not sure how to navigate around the forums/site yet. I do hope there are some people here to help, and your response is a good start. This was the thread that caught my eye.
    1 person found this helpful
  14. CMF
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    CMF avatar
    9223 posts
    2 January 2017 in reply to kombitop

    Hi Kombitop,

    You're welcome. If you go to the tab tat says 'all posts' you will find numerous forum topics ie welcome/orientation, depression, anxiety etc. when you choose one you will see a option on the right hand side to start a new thread. Of course if you want to browse though other threads and join in you can do that too.

    Hope this helps.

    cmf :-)

    1 person found this helpful
  15. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8853 posts
    2 January 2017 in reply to kombitop

    Hi kombitop,

    Welcome to the community here! It took me a while to work out how to navigate my way around the forum, I am rather technologically challenged. Ha. Ha. Hope you get the hang of it soon.

    Good thing you have already received some instructions and help from cmf, I would not be much use to you in that respect!

    As cmf mentioned, feel free to join in with any thread or create your own if you are up to it. The social zone is a good place for casual chats about all kinds of general things as well.

    Hope you have had an okay kind of a day!

    Cheers for now from Dools

  16. kombitop
    kombitop avatar
    20 posts
    3 January 2017 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi Dools, how are you?

    I'll keep trying to navigate my way around, thanks. Where's the "social zone" ? Have not seen it as yet. Yes, a better day today, thanks.

  17. CMF
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    CMF avatar
    9223 posts
    3 January 2017 in reply to kombitop

    Hi Kombitop,

    if you click on the tab that says 'all posts' you will find BB SocialZone. It is the second one under the first 'Forums' heading.

    hope this helps

    cmf x

  18. YoYo_Steve
    YoYo_Steve avatar
    15 posts
    3 January 2017 in reply to kombitop

    Hi Kombitop, I went through exactly the same thing this year (absolutely the worst Xmas and New Year ever). What I'm finding now though is that it's behind me and now that the so called festive season is over I'm looking forward to a better new year.

    We're surrounded by at least a month worth of Xmas and new year preamble about how it's a great time to be with friends and family. It's simply not for everyone; certainly not for me. I think a healthy approach is to try and see the time as just another day on the calendar for you if it can't be a 'special' day.

    Family, you can't change; some are terrible some are great, some aren't there at all. When you fell like crap or have been through a lot it can be hard to open up with friends. For me it's really hard. It's easier to withdraw and push people away. Thing is, there are people out there who do really care and who do understand. I haven't been here long either, but get the feeling you will find many kind souls here.

    One thing I've learnt over the years is that everyone has there own baggage. I've met so many people who have gone through some terrible situations (myself included). You're certainly not alone and I wish you the best.

  19. Moonstruck
    Moonstruck avatar
    3877 posts
    3 January 2017 in reply to YoYo_Steve

    Hi there YoYo Steve

    I agree with you about the Xmas crap - it's unbearable, insensitive, cruel and unnecessary. The fallout damage is usually unseen but can do immense harm. I loathe that time of year. whew...it's over...thank God it's over!

  20. Mauzy
    Mauzy avatar
    16 posts
    4 January 2017 in reply to Moonstruck
    I couldn't agree more, I'm so happy it's over for another year, which is a bit sad, but as mentioned before, it's not for everyone. Very hard when it's thrust down your throat from September, thanks to marketing "genius's". I'm just so glad I'm not the only one who feels this way especially when feeling blue.
  21. kombitop
    kombitop avatar
    20 posts
    4 January 2017 in reply to CMF

    Hi cmf,

    Thanks for that. Yes I found it.

  22. kombitop
    kombitop avatar
    20 posts
    4 January 2017 in reply to YoYo_Steve

    Hi Yo-Yo, how are you?

    I don't have family or friends available at this time, hence the isolation. Just another day sometimes works, however most of them are lonely too. Even with people around, it's difficult to relate unless their on the same page! Thanks for your best wishes, and likewise in return.

  23. YoYo_Steve
    YoYo_Steve avatar
    15 posts
    4 January 2017 in reply to kombitop

    Hi Kombitop, I'm doing OK.

    I agree with you about finding people who are on the same page. It can be tough for people who haven't been through depression or other mental health issues to understand what it's like.

    It seems like you're already talking to a few people here, so that's good start anyway.

    1 person found this helpful
  24. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8853 posts
    4 January 2017 in reply to YoYo_Steve

    Hi YoYo_Steve, Kombitop, Mauzy, Moon. CMF and everyone else,

    The Festive Season can certainly be a struggle for lots of people. I am wondering if you feel the same about other significant days/celebrations like birthdays, Easter, Valentine's Day and so on.

    Another not so pleasant day for me is Mother's Day as it just reminds me that I am not a Mum. I do try to make the most out of the day though by remembering all of the wonderful children I have had in my life over the decades.

    For those of you are fairly new to the forum, I do so hope you manage to find your way around okay, thanks CMF for explaining how to find the Social Zone. With my mixed up brain I would have had to go through the steps myself first and then write down how to do it! Ha. Ha.

    Yesterday I was in tears and so frustrated because I could not work out how to use a different program to work on a course I am trying to do on the computer. Thankfully once my husband was home, he was able to assist me.

    I do so hope you all feel welcome here, no matter where you venture on the forum.

    Hope you all have a reasonable kind of a day as well.

    Cheers for now from Dools

  25. Shred1106
    Shred1106 avatar
    245 posts
    6 January 2017 in reply to Doolhof

    Happy New Year to all

    Arrived back from my trip last night and it was an eventful time away. Thankfully it was reasonably easy to manage the day itself and we were on an island that was quite nice too, plus I didn't have to cook!

    I still had several occasions of anxiety come up but put into overdrive all that my therapist and I had been working on (plus meds) so got through them thankfully with time.

    Now that it is over and we are in a New Year I am going to try and put some new strategies in place. The last (or first anniversary of the year) which is probably the most difficult of all for me, is next week on Wednesday and I hopefully will be doing some yoga with a dear friend of mine who has been a wonderful support through all of this hell.

    Cheers and good wishes to all

    Shred out

  26. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8853 posts
    6 January 2017 in reply to Shred1106

    Hi Shred,

    Welcome back! Must have been lovely to have a break from cooking. Did you have some meals you would like to try to replicate?

    It is wonderful you have plans made for Wednesday to help you through.

    Sounds like the dogs were very happy to have you home again. Animals are cute aren't they! We had a cat that ignored us for about a week after we had been on holidays. The cat we have now, goes into every room of the house once we let her out of her travel box, then to her food bowl.

    It's wonderful you were able to use some strategies while you were away. That is excellent.

    Cheers for now from Dools

  27. Shred1106
    Shred1106 avatar
    245 posts
    8 January 2017 in reply to Doolhof

    Cheers Mrs Dools

    I am afraid that coming home has helped to reopen some "wounds" for me. Not doing too well since arriving back.Trying to get in to see my psychologist..

    Good to hear from you

  28. Mauzy
    Mauzy avatar
    16 posts
    8 January 2017 in reply to Doolhof
    Hi Dools, for me it's just the Xmas thing that gets up my nose. All that expectation for one day,NY Eve (not a fan of that either) and then the prospect of the long hot summer looming YUK! Much more of a winter girl thankyou very much. But as I type this I realise it's just a season isn't it, summer I mean? I guess I think back to my childhood when we rarely had holidays, being stuck in a hot house for the school holidays. Some friends tend to have family holidays every year, something my partner and I have never done, so I guess there's an element of sadness about that. I can't change it now but I regret that we never developed a tradition like that, money having long been an issue.
  29. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8853 posts
    8 January 2017 in reply to Mauzy

    Hi Mauzy,

    Thanks for sharing. I'm wondering if there are things you can change to make Christmas a better time for you. I am already thinking about ways I want to change the whole festive season bit this year.

    There is little we can do about the weather! I too greatly dislike the heat. Thankfully we have air conditioning. Hot summer days are currently filled with reading books on all sorts of topics and trying new crafts while my husband watches the cricket.

    Money can be an issue. I'm currently unemployed so get that. I look around my area and see what kind of things I can do at a low cost or for free. A girlfriend and I will take a simple picnic lunch to a park, go for a walk and chat and have lunch.

    Maybe you could plan outings and day trips. You just return home at the end of the day and save on accommodation. That has worked well for us in the past.

    You have the opportunity to change how you do things! Take out pen and paper and make a list of things you would like to do. See what is available in your area.

    Cheers for now from Dools

  30. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8853 posts
    8 January 2017 in reply to Shred1106

    Hi Shred,

    Coming home from holidays can be a bit like a slap in the face hey! Getting back to reality takes me a few days to adjust. While on holidays everything can be so different.

    If you would like to or you need to share, here is a good place to do it. You don't have to go into details. Just saying you are having a rough time of it is enough. I get that. As I am sure many others do.

    My mind has been a little scrambled lately so I have been reading books, being creative with craft, doing Sudoku Puzzles, catching up with friends and working in the garden.

    No gardening for me right now as the rain is coming down by the bucket load! Excellent! That will certainly refresh the plants that were cooked by 40 degree heat yesterday!

    Wishing you well Shred.

    Cheers from Dools

    1 person found this helpful

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