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Forums / Long term support over the journey / Getting to know you...or is that me?

Topic: Getting to know you...or is that me?

  1. Ggrand
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    28 September 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Hello dear Sara,

    Thank you for such an uplifting post, and it really is wonderful to hear you having fun with being silly... silly is good Sara...

    wishing you happiness, hoping that your business thrives and I’m hoping for a beautiful and peaceful life for you dear Sez....thank you so very much for the shout out, it meant lot.....

    Love to you Sez, and of course hugs....💜🤗..

    Grandy...

    3 people found this helpful
  2. demonblaster
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    28 September 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Hey chooky so good seeing you happy and moving on in positive ways.

    Strong lady and a survivor.

    It's worth the hard yards isn't it. It wasn't till coming here that I'm realising there really is a lot of help knowledge out there and ways of shedding and coping with our pain.

    There is a better life to be had and you're in the beginning of living it. Very happy for you chooks 🤗

    You've help/ed so many and made beautiful friendships cause you're such an awesome person.

    Support and deep care for you and wishing you every success in your business and better life darl

    Always lovely seeing you ☺

    Btw you sharing any of those funny mushrooms 😄

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  3. Peppermintbach
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    29 September 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Hi Sez (waves to all),

    Thank you for your candid and heartfelt post. I don’t know if you’re still online or not but I just want to say that balance is understandable and that balance a good idea :)

    To explain my earlier reply to you, I’m happy to be serious but I’m also happy with some lightheartedness (nothing wrong with some humour and fun sometimes). But, with only text, I wasn’t 100% sure what mood you were in...I didn’t necessarily think you were trying to “approach a serious issue” as your put it. I was simply trying to gauge...

    So I responded with “I’m going to assume you were being playful with a touch of seriousness” to try to gauge your mood. I figured you would then respond in such a way that would let us know mmore concretely whether you were trying to hint at a more serious discussion or wanted some banter for balance (both are of course okay).

    What I was trying to do was I was simply trying to give you options at the time, so I could then respond in a more attuned way to your mood...I hope that I’m making sense.

    Of course, I don’t feel you have to constantly talk about trauma, worry, coping, sadness and fear all the time. It’s okay to talk about recovery or other daily life things or have precious moments of lighthearted banter too. Balance, as you said...

    I wonder if it’s perhaps not so much about people not “knowing what to do around a recovered individual” as you phrased it. But I wonder if it’s more about people figuring out how to relate to the recovered you now?

    Maybe it’s just a bit of a transitional/adjustment period...just as you have transitioned, maybe people around you who love you/care about you are simply learning how to adapt to those transitions at the moment...

    I, for one, am happy to see the recovered and continually evolving, Sez :)

    I hope you’re feeling a little better since 2am...

    Love always,

    Pepper xoxo

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  4. Just Sara
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    29 September 2018 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Hi Pepper;

    I'm so sorry; I meant no harm re your previous post and referring to my relationships on this forum. However, your comments re me not fitting in anymore are accurate.

    It's understandable why previous Community Champions rarely post. It's difficult trying to just be myself for myself. Two yrs of being here for others 'gets in'. Pathways in the brain yudda yudda...

    It feels impossible to blend back into the virtual community as I once did during 2015/16. There was freedom in anonymity, ignorance and innocence; just another face in the crowd.

    You and other beautiful people who've watched on or contributed as this thread's grown, are in my heart of hearts. Don't forget that ok. No matter my mood or fears; you're there.

    I'm quite emotional today so I won't say too much more. I appreciate your presence in my world, especially at this time. Hope you're faring well...

    H x H's

    Love Sez xoxo

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  5. Ggrand
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    29 September 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Dear Sara,

    i want to give you a Piece of my heart, 💜, a little of my peace 🕊, and some of my hope 🌈 and of course some special hugs 🤗, because you matter to me and you have helped me so very much with your words of wisdom, your extraordinary insight and you have also given me some of your heart, given me some peace and given me your time...I want to give you these because you are you which is a beautiful, caring and a very wonderful unique person who gives so much of herself to others.....also I want to give you a beautiful bunch of gardenias, roses, jasmine and I’ll add some mint and chamomile tea so you can sit and enjoy a cuppa or two...

    love you Sez....always be who you are and never change..

    Grandy...

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  6. startingnew
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    29 September 2018

    Sez xox

    Whether your a CC or not, your always welcome here, though i do get trying to fit back in. I could be way off but ill share in hopes that maybe it isnt. once people know who you are esp for a particular role or what youve been through its kinda hard to just be that 'normal' person, to be yourself. When i was doing Peer support for a few yrs both inside and outside of school, while it was great i found once i stepped down from that role it felt weird to just be another member of society and not have to play a role. Hoping that makes some sort of sense...

    I know its different for you too though, you have moved quite abit forward and maybe you arent to sure what to do with this yourself? your also use to surviving mental health and the challanges of that but your also starting to live. Those who face mental health issues tend to live day by day, making it a goal to just get through and ultimatly recover then when you reach a certain point of recovery i guess it might feel abit like 'what do i do now?' can be abit daunting...

    Anyway i hope that youll find your groove here once again, you have much to share by just being yourself (besides i like having you around :-) ) and just know that its more than ok to be Sez and not Sez the CC.

    Hugs and hugs and many butterfly wishes

    xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

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  7. Peppermintbach
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    29 September 2018 in reply to startingnew

    Hi lovely Sez (waves to all),

    You do sound very overwhelmed and emotional...here, I’m gently offering my hand and giving comforting squeezes...it’s going to be okay.

    It will all be okay eventually...I have confidence in you...it’s okay, there’s no need to apologise to me. I understand your emotions must have been very raw at the time...don’t worry about it. It’s okay...

    Butterfly Wings wrote such an insightful, wise and uplifting post that I have little to add. Like her, I also like having you here. CC or not, you’re always welcome :)

    The only thing that I would like to add is perhaps, purely as a small suggestion, just give it some time to figure out how to be here just for you...I don’t feel you need to have it all figured out right now...

    As with any new activity or mindset, I think it’s understandable that there might be a bit of trial and error at first, which is more than okay...many of us here are lovingly cheering you on as you figure things out for yourself ;)

    Sending my blessings, comfort, hugs and love. Gentle and easy does it...

    H x H’s

    Love,

    Pepper xoxox

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  8. demonblaster
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    29 September 2018

    Hey chooky

    You have beautiful loving friends here because of the awesome intelligent good caring person you are. Never doubt your worth lady. You rock!

    I was going to say same as our lovely Peppystar, take your time lovey you're entering a new phase of your life and although we're adaptable, change can be unsettling but in your own time you'll find yourself again.

    You're also taking a huge step in to the business world that takes a lot of courage which you have so just be gentle with yourself breathe and believe you'll ease into it all as I know you're more than capable of doing. You don't start coming out the other side of your life without strength determination and grit.

    You'll be ok friend. We're always here for you when you feel up to a chat or muck around chooky 🤗

    Take care Sez, I've always felt a good connection with you and truly wish you every happiness 🕊

    Love chooky 💗⚘

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  9. Just Sara
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    12 October 2018

    Good morning all you lovely peep's;

    Just re-read your beautiful and comforting words to me. It lifted me up...thankyou. I hope you're all doing splendidly and have love in your life. Oh yes, of course you do...from each other!!! And me! :-)

    There's been some emotional stuff coming up for me over the past few months.

    As always I've been very hard on myself trying to sort out what the problem is. Today though I've come to realise there isn't any problem. I'm still in my transition phase and it's been a bit of a rough ride at times, that's all.

    Expectations of starting up my new enterprise has had me reeling. My confidence took a bit of a beating via an internal negative monologue. "Why am I procrastinating? What if I'm not up to it? Am I actually what those people need? Can I cope with the stress?" and so on...

    It only struck me this morning; the past 6 months I've done some pretty spectacular healing and changing.

    • Making the decision to start my own business was in itself a major achievement. (And trigger!) It's a big job and I don't think I was prepared for what was necessary before even opening the doors.
    • I recognised and stopped my habitual behaviour around buying things I don't need. That was an eye opener as I'd been doing it unaware for many yrs. Letting go of this addiction wasn't easy.
    • I finally stopped smoking which is still in its infancy. Even last night the cravings were so bad I nearly broke and went out to buy a pack. I resisted and cried instead. Yay me...
    • For the past few weeks I've been trying to bring my sleeping habits back to normal which in itself has been quite triggering and stressful. But I've done it and feel so much better. Was up at 7am after a good night's sleep. Yay me again...
    • Stepping down as a CC has probably been harder than I anticipated. It's been a huge change to my offline routines and has caused some unexpected grief. That's easing now thank goodness.
    • Relationships with family members have changed. I'm grieving those changes too by mostly staying at home. This new habit of mine works, but others don't deal well with me keeping to myself. I haven't buckled of course, but some days are harder than others.

    So, as you can see my world has taken a huge leap into the unknown. Who wouldn't be reeling from it?!!!

    No wonder I've felt out of sorts. I'm nearly a new person for goodness sake :-D lol

    Love you guys;

    Sez xoxo

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  10. Peppermintbach
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    12 October 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Hi Sez (waves to all),

    It sounds as though it has been a bit of a period of emotional upheaval for you. I suppose change can be difficult and unleash all kinds of emotions in us...

    Hopefully once your body and mind adapts to it all, things will settle...there’s a lot to grieve...new relationship dynamics in your family to get used to and perhaps you’re even renegotiating new roles/sense of identity...

    Although, I do feel sad that you have been plagued by self doubt...starting a business is definitely daunting, and that much more if there are triggers. As a business owner, it’s all down you as the owner, which I would think is both empowering but perhaps scary too...the owner makes all the big decisions and creates their own vision, rather than helping someone else realise theirs...

    That being said, as I’ve said before, I’ve faith you will take it in your stride and learn as you progress. I think gradual and ongoing learning is the way to go, and it’s okay to have bad days and self doubts too...we will cheer you on when you success and hold your hand gently on your bad days. Maybe some days, we will need to do both ;)

    Congratulations on giving up smoking, tackling the retail therapy and changing your sleeping habits :) I admire your determination and commitment.

    Gentle and easy does it...you’ll get there as you continue to adapt and adjust. It may not feel like it right now but maybe one day, you will look back on this turbulent period and smile...

    Wishing you well

    Love,

    Pepper xoxo

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  11. Just Sara
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    13 October 2018 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Thankyou so much Pepper Girl;

    I know you're there as always. What a legend! Your words of support and encouragement are gratefully accepted. And yes, I'm taking it easy on myself. I've worked really hard to be where I am. No smokes, a little bit of money in the bank, a future business and, seeing daylight again. :-)

    Thankyou from my heart of hearts;

    Sez xoxo

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  12. Just Sara
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    13 October 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    PS...Waves to DB, Grandy, BW and anyone else reading. Lub lub lub...!!

    Sez xoxo

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  13. demonblaster
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    13 October 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Lub lub to you too chooky 🤗
    You do have a lot of major change going on in your life Sez and it sounds like your handling it all well.

    I suggest try not to put yourself under too much pressure with the business as in take your time getting details sorted and not to rush which I think you're smart enough to be doing.

    I imagine there would be a void stepping down from champion. Another change to adjust to. You'll never be forgotten and will always be appreciated hun, know that.

    Hey congrats on giving up durrys, I get quite emotional too.

    You're going to be ok Sez look how far you've come if ever you doubt yourself remember how strong and that you're a survivor girl.

    Take really good care of yourself hun.

    Good to see you ☺🤗💗

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  14. Just Sara
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    13 October 2018 in reply to demonblaster

    Awwwe DeeBee;

    MWAH!!!!!!!!

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  15. Croix
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    13 October 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Dear Sez~

    I had hoped that changing to becoming an Alumni would not be too bad, and I must say you are displaying the resilience and strength you always have. Perhaps without a sense of obligation your posts to those in need are deeper with more time for reflection. Your posts in your Complex PTSD thread are an example.

    Your giving up the smokes is a major step too.

    I found anger at the exploitative companies that induced me as a very young person to take it up helped sustain me when the urges grew strong.

    I would not be surprised if you current firmness with family members and stopping those buying habits are not related, another manifestation of strength.

    You are surrounded by friends here

    Croix

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  16. startingnew
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    13 October 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Hi dear Sez

    Just dropping in tonread of your amazing achievements,successes and changes youve made. Super proud of you ❤

    Oh also thank you for your beautiful post of the cptsd thread, i will be back to read the latest comments after the weekend- not coping with this thing we call life the past few days. Anyways thank you and your always welcome ❤

    Love, hugs and many butterfly wishes 💚💙💛💖

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  17. Just Sara
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    14 October 2018 in reply to Croix

    Thankyou Croix;

    It's really nice of you to drop by with such supportive words. We don't often cross paths these days, so seeing your avatar here was a nice surprise this morning. I hope life's treating you, your lovely wife and family cats well. Say "Hi" to Sumo for me. :-)

    Thanks for your encouraging comments about my writing on the cptsd thread. I didn't think of things that way, but you're right, I do feel a little more at ease without the responsibility of a CC. It just took some adjustment time to 'cross over'. lol

    Acknowledging what I've achieved in my post above was an eye opener. I think many of us underestimate our strength and staying power. When I put everything down on the same page, it looked quite daunting. "Wow! Have I done all that?" :-)

    It could be something for our members to contemplate when they start self doubting or berating themselves.

    Yes, cigarette companies have a lot to answer for, but like any co-dependent relationship, our govt also needs to step up and acknowledge their role in things. In reality, they should be made illegal.

    At the very least, all tobacco tax revenue should go towards new hospital beds and staff instead of a small portion going to lung cancer research and the rest being placed in the annual budget. It seems we're not the only ones addicted to the high from smokes hey?

    Have a nice Sunday and keep up the great work! I'm off to meet up with family for a birthday get together. I'm not sure if the weather's going to last though. Storms are brewing on the horizon. (Sheesh! I hope that's not a Freudian slip)

    Take care ok;

    Sez xo

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  18. Peppermintbach
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    15 October 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Hi Sez (a wave to all),

    I’m glad things are settling and even looking up. I hope you enjoyed the birthday celebration with your family yesterday :)

    Love, H x H’s

    Pepper xoxo

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  19. startingnew
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    27 October 2018

    Hi Sez

    just popping in to see how your going?

    xoxo

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  20. startingnew
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    1 November 2018 in reply to startingnew

    Hi Sez,

    i wont be around much of the weekend so i wanted to wish you an early Happy Birthday. I hope the movie is a good one and im looking forward to hearing what you thought of it

    Xoxoxo

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  21. blondguy
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    1 November 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Hey Sara

    I have always been a big fan of your intellect and your ability to provide such excellent support/counsel

    You correctly mentioned "At the very least, all tobacco tax revenue should go towards new hospital beds and staff instead of a small portion going to lung cancer research and the rest being placed in the annual budget. It seems we're not the only ones addicted to the high from smokes hey?"

    Im sorry for straying off topic Sara. I just wanted to mention that the Federal Government collected over $1,000,000,000/year in tobacco taxes before the recent price hikes. This product is legal.

    Just my humble opinion if thats okay...The price hikes are good news to prevent young people taking up the habit. Smoking is an awful addiction to have and whether we quit shouldnt be considered a sign of 'strength'

    My kindest as always Sara

    Paul

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  22. Just Sara
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    7 November 2018 in reply to startingnew

    Hi everyone!

    BW...I'm putting my movie critique on the rainbow thread shortly ok. Thanx for asking about me too. I've been taking a sabbatical from BB; trying to acclimatise myself back into offline life. I must admit, not writing about mental health has been refreshing.

    Big waves to Pepper, DB Chooky, Grandy, Quercus, Quirky, Croix and anyone I've so non intentionally forgotten to include. Mwah!!!

    Paul...wow! A billion $ in tobacco revenue would fund some 'real' changes eh? I still crave btw, some days really big time. I haven't broken though. :-)

    Anyway people, I'm doing fine. Had a few down days, but coping well, as expected. It's funny you know; learning what to do with each trigger or situation is like dealing with a new job. It takes a while to learn the ropes, but once things are grasped, it becomes easier then automatic.

    Take care lovelies;

    Sez xoxoxox

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  23. Peppermintbach
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    7 November 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Hi Sez (and a wave to all),

    I’m glad, despite a few rough days, that things seem to be going well for you. You seem to be easing into offline life well, which is great to hear :)

    Also, congratulations on resisting smoking despite temptation. That’s a huge achievement!

    Sending you well wishes...

    Love,

    Pepper xoxo

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  24. demonblaster
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    7 November 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Good seeing you chooky 🤗

    Congrats on the smokes huge. I too for approx a mth. Had 2 for 2 consecutive days. Ok cause I can do that but very difficult in mania staying off them

    Good recovery which you might still be in progress but it wasnt long ago you were struggling understandably adjusting to stepping down from CC. You're always a champion and to yourself too, never forget to pat yourself on the back regularly lovey.

    Hoping your sisters recovering well and your business planning/implementing cruising too.

    Look after yourself chooky 🤗 💗

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  25. Ggrand
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    7 November 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Hello Sara...

    Its so good to hear that you are doing well...

    Well done on the smokes, I’ve been off for going on 8 months now...Although wow some times I so much crave for them..can handle that better now....

    I hope things are going well for you in the outside world..(off line).. and I am pleased your learning to deal with your triggers as they come....As our lovely Deebi said...Youre always a champion and always will be to me and others...Your one awesome, beautiful, person Sara, never forget that..

    I hope that your business is going along good and it’s at the stage you want it to be....

    Take really good care of you Sara, and always be gentle and kind to you...

    Love and hugs Sez...🤗💜..

    Grandy...

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  26. Just Sara
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    7 November 2018 in reply to Ggrand

    Wow! Thanks everyone...how beautiful.

    I probably won't be on for a while after today. Spending time getting to 'know me' and 'be me' again is a full time job. Breaking long formed habits and creating better ones takes time and patience. Just like recovery hey?

    Grandy, you always have the most glorious way of putting things. It warms the soul; thankyou. Congrats on 8 months free of tobacco. I didn't know you'd smoked. I hope you can enjoy the beauty and splendour that life has to offer; you so deserve it. Definitely a mirror to your soul. Take care beautiful Grandy... :-) xo

    Hey DB; (the Chookinator) Congrats to you too on two 'baccy free days at a time. I tried around 20 times before I got it. It's so much harder when it seems to complement the MH scene; in your case, mania. I totally get it. So my lovely, be kind to yourself, take the bad days one moment at a time and revel in your greatness when you're able. I and others see it; I hope you do too. :-) xo

    Butterfly Wings; thankyou for thinking of me. I appreciate your attention as life in general has been pretty bloody average for you at times. You've had many trials and tribulations young one. You're getting thru them though and that's a credit to your hard work and commitment. Don't worry honey, peace 'will' come. I think of you now and then my sweet. It's only natural after what we've gone thru together. :-) xo

    Heart of hearts Pepper Girl; I'm sorry I haven't been as attentive as I could've been. I guess distancing myself was an attempt to make leaving you easier. You've been an inspiration and absolutely wonderful friend no doubt; I couldn't have asked for better. I truly miss 'us', but my sweetness, I miss my life more.

    You're a good friend to many, giving of your wisdom, empathy and care with ease. I won't forget you or the love you've bestowed upon me. It stays with me always. How could it not?! Parting is such sweet sorrow...love you. xo

    Till next time lovelies...

    Sez xoxox

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  27. startingnew
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    7 November 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Evening Sez

    Im glad youve popped in, dont be too much of a stranger even though i know youll be busy recreating yourself and becoming 'you' again. I am so proud of how far youve come, its really inspirational from my point of view, while youve been following my journey ive also followed yours, so yes weve been through quite alot together huh. Whether your here or not, youll always be a mentor to me, without you im not to sure i would be breathing today. Thank you for everything, i really mean that xo

    oh.. i read your review on the other thread, it sounds amazing and something ill probably end up watching myself. i hope you get to go again.

    Anyways, i really hope your just as proud of yourself as we are of you. Gives a new meaning to 'ive made it' and 'living instead of surviving' hey. Keep on, keeping on lovely.

    Sending my love, hugs and many butterflies to brighten any down days

    xoxoxoxoxo

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  28. Peppermintbach
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    7 November 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Hi Sez,

    All the best with everything. I hope you find what you’re looking for. I wish you well :)

    Love,

    Pepper xoxo

    3 people found this helpful
  29. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    9806 posts
    7 November 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Hello Sara,

    Thank you for your kind words to me..I’m going to miss you so very much..

    My one regret is not getting to know you sooner, in saying that.. I did get to know you and I am very honoured I have gotten to know you....and discovered the strong wonderful person you are....

    Im not sure when you will be back online here...

    When you do come back, you will find a beautiful bunch of dried Australian flowers, pine cones, gumnuts, leaves all encased in a glorious wooden frame and protected by glass...to keep them looking their best always...

    Thank you for being you...You give people hope...

    Love and hugs to you Dear Sez....💜🤗..

    Grandy....

    3 people found this helpful
  30. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    9806 posts
    30 December 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Hello Sara..

    Im not sure if you’re reading this or not..I really want to wish you a very Happy, Highly Successful New Year.... Dear Sara....

    I hope you are doing okay both in your physical and mental health...

    Been thinking of you at times, and I continue to get help from your posts as so many others are, and will continue to get help from your wonderful caring posts....Isn’t it amazing that years later after we have retired from here, your/others posts continue to help those in need....

    HAPPY NEW YEAR....DEAR SWEET SARA....

    Love and hugs...💜💜🤗🤗..

    Grandy..

    4 people found this helpful

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