Any time. Thank you for the kind and generous words 😊
I think that when I'm on BB, I respond and write using a combination of my gut, heart and mind. I mean, 99% of my responses have nothing to do with anything that I've learnt as a psych student. I would probably be saying the same things if I were, say, an engineering student or wasn't studying at all. Gut-heart-mind response (and on my dumber days: arse) remember? 😉
Yeah, you're right that strong attraction can sometimes be a red flag. I recall you once said that you have often mistaken fear for love- maybe that was part of what drew you to this man who reminded you of your grandfather.
Hey, self forgiveness and compassion, right? I hope you're not beating yourself up over ignoring the signs. It's hard to seek healthy relationships when you had a shaky foundation as a child/teenager. You said it yourself, you're "a work in progress."
My ex-boyfriend was like daddy dearest. Hey, they even had a similar childhood, which I didn't learn till after we were "officially" together. The dumbest part, which demonstrates my infinite stupidity? I instinctively knew this all along but continued the relationship for 2.5 years. Granted, I was a teenager but still...I feel so stupid about it now.
A couple of my closest friends in high school were like milder versions of my grandma. I've since severed ties with both of them. Even though it was the healthy thing to do, it still pained me to do it. Cut the umbilical cord.
The (close and best) friends that I've kept in my life are healthier examples of friendships (and healthier human beings in general). I turn to them as role models. Sure they're not as "exciting"'as my dysfunctional friendships BUT sometimes (over)excitement is another red flag.
Sorry, I hope you don't mind me talking about myself a little. I guess I'm trying to say- even though we have different experiences- that I can empathise.
Back to you now...
Good on you for throwing yourself in the deep end. I think unfamiliar territory is scary and intimidating but sometimes it's healthy to challenge old patterns.
I hope you find what you're looking for, and I hope this person (regardless of whether they are a woman or a man) is good to you. You deserve the world!
Thanks Sara. Your presence, friendship, intelligence and wisdom are gifts enough to me. Please don't doubt yourself and what you have to offer.
Enjoy the young love heart flutters 😉 Keep staying amaze!