That is so great to hear that you feel like the fog is lifting on the depression, that is so great to hear. I understand that it has been a bit of a battle for you with the medication, but what a great outcome that you feel like the increase is doing it's job and that you are feeling the benefits, that is fantastic and I am so happy for you.
Hopefully with the spotlight off the depression you can look at the anxiety and see what things you can do to help with managing this, you are already doing so many great things so hopefully in time it will start to ease a bit for you.
I haven't really put what happened a few weeks ago behind me, it is more of just a time that I need to get back into my life and start doing what it is that I love and that is being here and talking to people and hopefully making a difference.
My friend took her life, she struggled with depression and was living in a fairly remote place with her husband and her two small children, she did suffer depression and it was known. She seemed to be getting worse so she came to the mainland to a hospital that gave her some acute care, they didn't really like how she was responding so she was put into a facility to help her. She was allowed visitors and she was allowed to leave for small parts of the day to go to the shops and to get out and about. In this time she bought "means" and that night she took her life. I am still in recovery from my brother so to have another suicide was just so confronting and so incredibly overwhelming. In my 44 years I had never experienced suicide in my life and now in 6 months I have had 2....I am just so devastated and so very sad, for us, for her family, for her children and just in general that she felt this was her only choice.
Thank you for caring and for your support, it really is so nice to be back but I really did just need some time to deal with me and to get better and fill my cup back up so that I could then go on to reach out to others.
That was really brave of you to go to work, I am sure that you really struggled to get there so that is great that you were able to go. I hear that you are feeling disappointed that it only lasted for 2 days, but hey, 2 is better than not going at all, you tried and you did what you could. I think you should feel like you are making some great progress. The next assignment might be a better fit and you might feel more comfortable and who knows, it could last longer. Baby steps.