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Forums / Long term support over the journey / how do i stop crying

Topic: how do i stop crying

  1. heyx
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    22 March 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    hey markle sparkle

    we are doin so god I like u

  2. Matchy69
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    22 March 2021 in reply to heyx
    Hi heyx it's a rainy day here I hope you are having a great day.
    Take care,
    Mark.
  3. Matchy69
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    22 March 2021 in reply to Aaronsis
    Hi Sarah, I had a peaceful weekend and did watch the footy on tv.I am sorry the cats lost but it is always fun going to the game.My Bombers didn't do much better a lost by one point.They are the ones that hurt the most.I miss going to the footy and use to go to most of the lions home games at the Gabba.Totaly different being at the game and feeling atmosphere.I use to sneak into the members area and watch it from there right on the fence.
    It's raining again here today and it is relaxing me while I lay in front of the tv.
    I have my appointment at the hospital on Friday to see what they think of the surgery.
    Take care,
    Mark.
  4. Aaronsis
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    23 March 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hey Mark

    Yes my poor old cats did not get up on the weekend but am hopeful of a win on Friday this week. Your bombers were also in the same catergory as us...it is only the start of the season so I am sure these first few rounds are settling in ones..I am going with that anyway...lol. You are so right in that being at a game is so very different to watching it on telly, I just love the atmosphere and all the yelling and seeing how passionate people get about the umpiring and the game in general.

    All the very best for your post op appointment, I have all my fingers crossed for you that the surgeon is happy and that they are able to confirm progress for you, that would sure make a huge difference to you I know.

    The weather here has been wet too and while it is great for the lawn, just means I have to mow it..lol...it is actually a disgrace at the moment and am embarrassed of how I have let it look...this weekend I will tackle that for sure..unless of course I can bribe the kids...hmmmm.

    Have been pretty busy at work this week which makes a great change and people are starting to come back into the office after almost a year of being away due to COVID, so that is great too, feels like we are on the road back to some sort of normal.

    I am not sure if I have mentioned it before but the rose is simply stunning that you have as your profile pic..just gorgeous. I am wondering if it has a perfume?

    Take care my friend and can't wait to hear how the appointment went for you.

    Hugs

    Sarah xx

  5. Matchy69
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    23 March 2021 in reply to Aaronsis
    Hi Sarah I like the new profile pic of the pelicans.I am guessing that's from your holiday recently.That rose is one my daughter planted and has a divine perfume.I will look at the tag later for its name as I can't remember.
    It's been pouring rain here all night and morning.It has just eased off now.All my water tanks are well and truly over flowing.Very wet and muddy outside now and the grass will definately need mowing when it's dry enough.
    Their was certainly some characters at the footy and made sure an umpire who made a mistake didn't forget.I hope the cats can get up for you this week and hoping the bombers can manage a win.
    That's good that you are starting to go back to normal at work.I noticed more restrictions are being lifted Friday for you and 75000 can be at the MCG.
    Take care,
    Mark.
  6. Aaronsis
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    25 March 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hey Mark

    Yes those gorgeous Pelicans are from our trip to Mallacoota, aren't they just divine? They are such beautiful birds to watch and the house we were staying in overlooked the lake so they were always around which was just wonderful.

    Yes restrictions are lifting and the game tonight should be a good one, the crowds will be there too and the full energy of the game which will be great, not that I am a huge fan of either team, I just love footy and will watch any game really.

    The weather here today is raining too as we get the tail end of the stuff from NSW, certainly not as bad as they have had it, just so tragic.

    Your daughter is very clever to have planted and grown that rose, it surely is stunning and I can imagine that the smell is superb too. My daughter collected all those little seedling things from Woolworths and is growing them, so alot of them have started shooting so who knows how they are going to go and if she wants to plant them etc.. we will see, keep you posted on that one.

    Hope that you are feeling ok today and that you have something planned to make you feel great.

    Chat soon my friend

    Sarah xx

  7. Matchy69
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    25 March 2021 in reply to Aaronsis
    Hi Sarah they pelicans are beautiful.I usually have them hanging around when I am fishing waiting for a feed.Wont get to many from me as I never catch to many.
    The rains cleared up here and the sun is out.I will try and get my daughter to plant some vegies this weekend.
    The game tonight should be great to watch as long as Collingwood don't win.
    Take care,
    Mark.
  8. Aaronsis
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    25 March 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    That is really funny about the fishing, I am not really sure that they would get a feed from me either...I had to look up how to put a hook on the line when we went to the Snowy over Christmas to try to catch Trout, I have not really been a fishing type person...lol They did love all the scraps and all the guts that people were throwing to them when they were cleaning their catch. There was one guy who had caught some beautiful fish, not sure what now but as he was filleting it looked so good.

    Yes I am in totally agreeance with you on that one..as long as Collingwood does not win we are good...lol

    I may try to do the same with my daughter actually and see if she wants to put some of the seedlings into some bigger pots etc.....

    Hugs

    Sarah xxxx

  9. Matchy69
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    31 March 2021
    Another day starts don't feeling depressed might just stay in bed today.I shouldn't get my hopes up.
  10. Matchy69
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    31 March 2021
    I am feeling so down and lonely at the moment.I wish I could wake up from this bad nightmare
  11. Matchy69
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    1 April 2021 in reply to Aaronsis
    Sarah I hope you have a good Easter.I have no idea about Easter this year covid through a spanner in the works again.
  12. Aaronsis
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    1 April 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hey Mark

    I am so sorry to hear that the past few days have been really tough for you. I was just thinking on Tuesday how many people you are supporting and how often I see you on so many different threads and I think it is wonderful and so very amazing it is that when you are feeling so overwhelmed and so sad that you are able to reach out and chat with others Mark, this is such a beautiful quality about you and I wanted to say thank you, that I see you around here and I appreciate your support to others.

    I don't really have many plans for Easter, just some time at home and catch up with some friends and family and hang out with the kids. I am taking a few extra days off to spend with them as it is school holidays starting here today. Are you up to anything over the long weekend?

    Huge hugs to you my friend and thinking of you today as always and hope a smile will appear on your face.

    Sarah xxx

  13. Matchy69
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    1 April 2021 in reply to Aaronsis
    Hi Sarah I don't know what's happening over Easter.My kids are sick with the flu and think are get tested today.Covid has just thrown spender in the works again for Easter.
    I am just on a bit of slow at the moment.I have been put on some new medication that's for my physical health but has a huge list of side effects and I don't if it's do with that or the covid stuff up here mentally draining me.
    Take care,
    Mark.
  14. Matchy69
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    4 April 2021
    Another lonely old day for me.
  15. Matchy69
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    11 April 2021
    Feeling the lonelyness thinking it would get easier as time went by but just seems to get harder for me again.
  16. Aaronsis
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    12 April 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hey Mark

    I am so sorry that things have been tough for you and you have felt so very alone. I know we have said this before but time sometimes does not equal healing and I am not a supporter of "time heals all wounds"...I am not sure there is a recipe for it either, if there was we would all be in a very different situation to what we are managing now.

    I do know that trying different things has helped me no end, that when I felt like all was lost and that I had tried everything, along came the hypnotherapy and really ...well..changed everything..it worked for me and I can really say it made a huge difference in my life. Maybe there is something that will do the same for you, something that you have maybe not even thought of yet but will present itself to you.

    How has today been for you so far? My kids are on the second week of school holidays and I did spend some time with them doing a few things last week, but back to work today and they are with their dad and cousins this week.

    Huge hugs to you my friend and I am ever so proud of you for still being so supportive and being so active here in this space and reaching out to others when you yourself are not feeling the very best, a true testament to your character and to your heart.

    Chat soon and am thinking of you.

    Sarah xxx

  17. Matchy69
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    12 April 2021 in reply to Aaronsis
    Hi Sarah I just had the kids picked up.I will get them again friday for a couple of days.Their mother is taking them to their grandparents on Sunday for a late Easter since it was cancelled due to covid.
    I haven't been feeling the best of late.I am on new medication for something and don't know if that is causing me side effects.I am feeling so lonely of late and miss having someone to talk to.This is probably the only place I talk to anybody.
    Going into town tomorrow to get a new tire fitted for my bike.I will try and do a few things when I am in there.Probably be cold in there.
    I am sorry your cats lost on the weekend.The bombers lost again,sort of use to it now.
    Take care,
    Mark.
  18. Aaronsis
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    14 April 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hey Mark

    Great news that you are getting the bike tyre checked out, maybe when it is done and you are feeling up to it you could start some small rides, to get back into doing what you love.

    How have you been going with the new meds since last we spoke? You were having some concerns that they were interfering with your feelings and thoughts, have you been able to chat to someone about this and see if the dose should/could be adjusted? I am sorry that of late things have not been so great and you have been feeling so lonely, but as you say, we are here, we do care and I want to remind you of that. We are not here as we have to be ...or should be...or get paid to be...I am here to chat to you as I have been for a while as I do care and I am interested in your wellbeing and helping in any way I can. I just wanted to remind you of that as we can forget when things seem so overwhelming.

    I hope that you can have some nice time with the kids on Friday and that they are doing well too. Last day of the school holidays and then back to routine.

    I am not sure what happened to Geelong over the weekend. They really seemed like they lost it from the start. I guess they are human too and have good days and bad days, and at the end of it all it is just a game of footy!

    It is my mother's birthday today, the first one that I have not been able to celebrate with her here. I know you will know of the feeling, I am not sure what to do with myself really. Do I get some flowers? Do I make a meal that is somewhat special? not sure..I guess I will just go with it and not put too much pressure on me and just do as I feel as the moments pass...I sure do miss her.

    The weather is starting to really get cold here which is not great..the heater is on at night and the hot water bottle is out of the cupboard and getting used...winter here we come.

    Great to chat to you my friend and let's hope for a great weekend of footy for both the Bombers and the Cats.

    Hugs to you Mark

    Sarah xx

  19. Matchy69
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    14 April 2021 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hi Sarah yes I know hard it will be for you today with your mother's birthday.It is a really strange feeling and I know it made me miss my mother even more.I remember day taking me shopping when I was a kid to buy my mother a present for her birthday and we were usually on holidays at the beach so they were like souviniers I use to buy.They are in my China cabinet here.

    I got the new tyre on yesterday and went for a ride this morning and stopped off at a coffee shop and came home.The new tyre had marvelous grip really felt confident with it.

    I haven't made appointment with my doctor yet going to do it when school goes back and I need to get the flu vaccine and I want to discuss the covid vaccine with her.I don't think this new medication is working but I will give it a bit more time.

    Hopefully the bombers and cats can win this week.I don't know if I told you the reason I support Essendon but when I was a kid we went to a town called Esk and the next day I put the footy on and Essendon was playing Richmond and I went for Essendon as I thought the name was similar to Esk and Essendon one that game and I followed them ever since.And when I watched that game it was on a black and white tv so you could imagine how hard it was working out who had the ball for a little kid.

    It's starting to get cold here it won't be long and I will have the fire going.

    Take care,

    Mark.

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  20. Matchy69
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    21 April 2021

    Hi all I went to the doctor's yesterday and got put on some new medication for the pain I am in.The doctor took one look at me and said to me that I looked like I am in a lot of pain and I said I am.The one he'd put me on had been working but spaces me out a bit.I couldn't see my doctor yesterday but I saw an intern and he seemed really good.He sent me for some more scans tomorrow and see if they show anything.I thought he was good that he could notice the pain in my face.O have been a bit quiet on here thats why.

    Take care,

    Mark.

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  21. Aaronsis
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    22 April 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hey Mark

    That is so wonderful that you got some really good medical help yesterday, your post sounds really positive and I can hear that you are feeling hopeful and pretty happy with how things went. That is so great to hear and I am so happy for you and will be thinking of you as you start this new course of medication.

    That was great to hear too that you got out on the bike and were able to have a really nice time and some coffee too...I am hoping that you felt really good after your ride, just being out in the fresh air and back doing what you really enjoy, that is awesome to hear.

    The football has been a bit of an "anyone's game" this season, with the teams you think that will win easily being beaten .... I suppose it makes for an interesting game, there have been some real nail biters that is for sure. I will be going for your bombers this Anzac day match that is for sure and I hope that they get up for you too. That is a really cool story as to how you came to support Essendon, it is funny how we align things to what we are doing at the time..it kind of reminds me how when certain songs come on you are instantly taken to a place or memory of what that song means for you.

    It is really starting to cool off here too with the last few days being almost winter like and me having the heater going at night. I feel like it has almost snuck up on us..the sound of an open fire does really make me feel happy, I love the smell and the sounds and also the heat is just so different than from manufactured heating.

    Mum's birthday was weird for me as I really did not know what to do with myself, but the day came and went and I did the best I could and sort of took each moment as it came and went with it. We still not have done her ashes and I think will do that in July when it is the anniversary of her passing. Mother's day will be a little weird too I expect. I hope to be distracted with my own kids but know that I will have moments of missing her too.

    I hope today is going well for you and the medication is making some small difference already.

    Huge hugs to you my friend

    Sarah xx

  22. Matchy69
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    23 April 2021 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hi Sarah my son hasn't been feeling to well and went to the doctor and had some test done and got them back them the other night and he needed to go on some medication and probably need to be on that rest of his life the doctor says.The medication seems to be working already and I will see how he goes this weekend.Their could be some surgery if things get to bad in the future but try and avoid that at all cost.

    Hopefully in the footy they can win this ANZAC Day.Both teams struggling so far this year and this game always has a grand final atmosphere.I usually March in the street parade with the school wont again this year with my son being sick.

    Take care,

    Mark.

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  23. Aaronsis
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    26 April 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Good Morning my friend

    I hope that your son is doing well and that he and you are all ok with the idea of medication for him. I so hope that this will assist him on his journey and help him through.

    I was so happy to hear that the meds are working for you and that you are already starting to feel somewhat better, that is so awesome and I am so happy for you Mark, this is great!

    I am also thrilled we both had a footy win over the weekend and you with the ANZAC game, it was such an awesome game and I was thinking of how happy you would be!

    Are you ready for this??? I went roller skating on the weekend...wow...talk about take you back to your childhood. It was so fun and we started off so wobbly and it was not long before we got our skating groove on. The games were still the same as when I was a child and it brought back so many awesome memories...we will be going again soon that is for sure!!!

    Did you manage to get up to anything over the weekend that put a smile on your face my friend?

    Hope to chat to you soon and hear about what you have been up to.

    Hugs and more hugs

    Sarah xxx

  24. Matchy69
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    27 April 2021 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hi Sarah I am glad you had fun roller skating.I use to skate alot when I was a teenager and still have my old speed skates somewhere which was the in thing back then.A girl in my class parents owned the skating rink.

    I had a really full on weekend and am totally mentally and physically drained.My son's medication has changed from a really high dose twice today to a low dose once at night.I don't feel like I was mentally prepared for this and probably didn't cope the best with it.

    This afternoon I have a doctor's appointment and I had some scans done thursday.I really hate afternoon appointments as I get so anxious and worried all day.

    I didn't get a chance to watch the footy and noticed the cats got a good percentage booster and the Don's got up.It was just to full on to be able to watch it.

    Take care,

    Mark.

  25. Aaronsis
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    29 April 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hi Mark

    I am so glad that you too have roller skating memories of your childhood too. It really is so fun and we used to spend the whole day down at the roller skating rink, even though there were alot of people there on the weekend I don't feel like it is as popular as when we were kids. It is good to see the adults out on the skates too, although once again there are not too many with most watching from the side lines.

    How is your son going with the new medication regime? I hope that it is suiting him better and that he is responding well to it, and that you have got your head around it too, changes suddenly can really throw us about and I am sorry this impacted you and caught you off guard, not helpful.

    I hope your doctors appointment went well and yes, I am a bit the same, I like to get things over and done with early in the day so that one is not sitting around waiting for it and running situations or scenarios through one's head and making a whole story up about it and causing worry. I hope that it was a good appointment though and that you are on track on your recovery too.

    The football was not a great game in that your Bombers really ran away with the ball and didn't leave much for the maggies to do. I love it when it is a nail biter and you get really excited with each point that is kicked, it makes for a much better game and I am sure you would agree on that one too.

    I am off to donate blood this weekend so it will be a quiet one for me, unless of course my friend wants to go skating again in which I could be persuaded..lol

    My son is starting his first day of work tomorrow as part of his VCAL course this year, he will be going out with an electrician for the day so I am super keen to see how he goes with that and how he feels about the whole thing. I hope he enjoys it but no pressure from me.

    Have a great evening my friend and hope you have been able to get into that garden of yours.

    Hugs as always

    Sarah xx

  26. Matchy69
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    29 April 2021 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hi Sarah thanks for replying.Roller skating brings back memories of when I was in school and did it for school sports.Our teacher who use to take us was a Typing teacher and I never had her as boys never did typing in those days which is a shame as it is a skill we need today.We use to ask her can you please skate with us Miss stirring her knowing she never would and she would continue reading her book.

    My son is doing ok with the medication he is on.He seems so much better at the moment but I do know what can happen if he detetiates and he needs surgery .

    My daughter's formal is coming up in September and their has been drama with my ex thinking she isn't invited and can't go but I messaged my daughter and she said she invited her mother and we have someone who will look after our son for us.Its just my ex being a drama queen and I am over it

    The doctor's appointment showed that the test showed I will need surgery again in the future and that it is slowly deteriating but not sure when in the future I will need this surgery.I will just have to put up with the pain and take pain killers for the moment.I can get something stronger if needed but see how I go out the moment .

    The footy ladder is looking really interesting at the moment with Melbourne and Bulldogs in top.The first ever ANZAC game between the pies and Bombers was a draw which seemed like a fitting result.I will take this year's sin and I don't know how many th more games we will win this year.I think the cats will play finals they look good again this year and hungry.

    Take care.

    Mark.

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  27. Aaronsis
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    3 May 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hello my friend

    It is so funny sometimes the memories we have from school, and especially now that things have changed so much and there would NEVER be classes that only girls took, like typing!! As you say, a skill that so many of us need now with computers being the for front of our way of working and communicating. I have memories of one of our teachers taking the girls on a sperate walk when the boys were doing the flying fox one camp..as there was no way girls would do the flying fox!!! I look back now and think how ridiculous!!

    I am so happy to hear that your son is doing so much better with the medication. Let's have everything crossed for him that he does not deteriorate and that he can start to maintain on this new medication.

    What a whole lot of confusion over the formal, I am so happy though that you are both able to go and that your daughter is able to have you both amicably in the one room or the one event, something I was not so lucky to have...I think it is great that you are going to both be there for her and get someone to be with your son on the night, that is fantastic and she will really love having you both there. I hope your ex can see though that sometimes things can be solved with a conversation rather than jumping to conclusions and thinking the worst.

    I am glad you are able to somewhat manage the pain at the moment and I hope that they future surgery is just that, a long time in the future. I am sorry that is on the cards for you but lets try and stay focused on the now and getting through the healing of this one, I know that is probably easier said than done too.

    The football is so very interesting this year, who would have picked Melbourne to be unbeaten. I am so happy for them though as I am a huge Jim Stynes fan and I love that they club are flourishing in his honor almost. I am really not sure how my cats are going to go, we are missing so many opportunities and just have not got it right...so I am not sure how we are going to end up...

    Hope you have been able to do something fun over the weekend and enjoy some time in your garden. What is blooming at the moment in your collection of gorgeous plants?

    Well almost home time for me and time to change hats and to cook dinner and those exciting things.

    Chat soon my friend

    Sarah xxxx

  28. Matchy69
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    5 May 2021 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hi Sarah it's a wet day here with a few storms passing by.The garden is growing crazy.My citrus are all in fruit and I have been harvesting plenty of mandarins .Roses are all out in flower and so are my different colour geraniums.

    My son's back out school and doing ok.My daughter found a formal dress so she is happy with it.Not sure if I will go or not,I am over all the drama.Parents never use to go to formals Shen I was at school.All different today.

    Been feeling down lately.Knowing nothing is going improve with my health dosnt help and medication can only work so much.Its no fun getting old.

    I managed to watch the Essendon and Carlton game.I thought for a moment we might been able to win it.

    Take care,

    Mark.

  29. Matchy69
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    6 May 2021
    It's just overcast this morning and might just in bed.Ibdont feel like doing much.The cooler weather is nicer.I will put a DVD on that I fell asleep to last night watching in bed.I suppose to be on call but how when I don't have a car.She has a dentist appointment at 1:30pm but she won't get back before 3pm.So I have the stress and worry about that today.
  30. Aaronsis
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    Aaronsis avatar
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    6 May 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hello my friend

    I hope that you have had some rest today and were able to finish the DVD you started. It has been sunny here today so was nice for me to sit outside and have some lunch, which has been a nice change from the past few days with the cool weather really starting to set in.

    That is very exciting that your daughter has a dress for her formal. I hear what you are saying in that parents never went to these sorts of things, mine didn't come to my senior function either, well it is nice that they are including families and making them more inclusive, I hope that you give some thought to going, it will be a lovely night and she will sure love having you there.

    Hope that the appointments have gone well this afternoon and that you have not been feeling too worried during the day in anticipation. It is hard to take hold of these things when they are in the afternoon and you have to wait all day, and then you don't really know how it is going to go and start to play things out in your head.

    My friend painted a picture of my daughter and it is so wonderful, we are just in disbelief of how it has turned out as she had never painted a portrait before. She is so clever at painting that I had no doubt it would be good but to see the final picture is just so incredible...if only my COVID paintings were as good..lol

    Well I am off to have an afternoon coffee and get a few things done before home time.

    Look forward to chatting to you again soon my friend.

    Hugs as always

    Sarah xx

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