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Forums / Long term support over the journey / how do i stop crying

Topic: how do i stop crying

  1. Matchy69
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    6 May 2021 in reply to Aaronsis

    Sarah I have started to get some nasty and dpressing text lately from my ex lately and I am feeling like crap as usual.Nothing I do will be ever good enough.Its just how my life will be and I will never try to get to happy as I know it doesn't last long.If it's not physical pain it's mental pain I have to go through.More and more I miss having someone to talk to.I have to deal with everything by myself.

  2. Aaronsis
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    10 May 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hi Mark

    I am so very sorry to hear that you have been getting some nasty texts from your ex. There was a time when I too had to manage this space with my ex and found that I had more control that what I realized. See with a text you can choose not to read it, you can delete it, you can tell your ex that unless there are issues to discuss with regards to the children then she has no reason to contact you. I know this is harsh and tough but at the same time she does not get to make you feel so bad anymore, or put undue pressure or stress on you.

    You are a great dad and your kids will be the first to tell you that, so that does indicate that you are doing something so very right, that you are good enough.

    Can I suggest that your wife is unhappy in herself and maybe by sending you messages that offend or make you feel bad gives her some comfort, which is hurtful and hard to hear I know, but it is the same environment as school, bringing others down to make oneself feel better.

    There is no harm at all in setting some boundaries with her Mark, to let her know you will not tolerate this behavior and being made to feel bad about yourself.

    I am sure that you went out of your way yesterday too to ensure she had a lovely day for Mother's Day, this is the wonderful person that you are.

    Huge hugs to you my dear friend

    Sarah xxx

  3. Matchy69
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    10 May 2021 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hi Sarah I do know what to do about text mesgs but being able to put it in practise is another thing as I have been dealing with this for years.

    Thunder storms here from early this morning and we just had a huge down pour again.Next couple of days is forecast for stormy weather.

    How are you doing these days?I hope you are coping ok.

    A bit of revenge for the cats the other day and really ran away with that game in the second.We had another close lost.

    Take care,

    Mark.

  4. Aaronsis
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    14 May 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hey Mark

    I am so happy to hear that you are able to create some boundaries with your ex, it is hard and especially when you have two children together. That being said though it gives her no power to force an opinion or a decision on you. I am sorry that you have had to manage this for years, that must be so hard Mark. I count my blessings every day that I have a good relationship with my ex, that we can get on well most times. I am very thankful for that. It never hurts though to sometimes remind them that we are not married anymore, that we are parenting together and that anything outside of parenting is not their concern.

    I hope this week has been good for you, that you have been able to get out into the garden and that the weather has been good to you.

    We have had some sunshine but today is really cold and I am reminded that winter is well on its way.

    Thank you for asking after me, I am doing really well and have a few things that are keeping me nice and busy which are always good, and then there is the lovely time that I spend here talking to great people.

    I am going to try my friends mum's recipe this weekend, it is for a sponge that apparently NEVER fails...she shared it with me after me seeing her amazing creation on mother's day and me mentioning that I once used 36 eggs to try desperately to master a sponge...I will let you know how it goes...I may even share it as a profile pic if it looks half as good as hers..lol

    Have a great weekend my dear friend and hope you have been out on your bike or just doing anything really that let's you see and feel some joy and happiness, you deserve it.

    Hugs as always

    Sarah xxx

  5. Matchy69
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    17 May 2021 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hi Sarah I hope you did have a good weekend and how did your sponge turn out?

    I had my son sick on the weekend.He was just really coughing and seemed well enough but I meant he had to miss his specialist appointment and school.

    My daughter showed me some TAFE courses she wants to do next year as well as work.They are subsidised or free but will have to look into it more.

    Yay the bombers one a close one on the weekend.Nice to get a win for a change.

    Its been really cold mornings here with some heavy frost.My broadbean and turnip seeds have come up in the vegie garden.I will be harvesting cabbages soon.I have plenty mandarins and citrus to pick.Trees have been loaded with fruit.

    Take care,

    Your friend,

    Mark.

  6. Aaronsis
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    20 May 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hello my friend

    My sponge...was a huge success and I actually cannot believe it to be honest. I tried once and went through 36 eggs and my friends mum gave me this recipe and said it cannot fail. While very cautious I made it to the letter and low and behold it was just like a bought one..lol. I filled it with some strawberry jam, some whipped cream and some fresh strawberries. I dusted the top with icing sugar and put some strawberries on the top. I am so impressed with myself.

    I hope your son is feeling better, there is a whole lot of nasty flu like things going around. I think we sort of missed it last year as we were all isolated and not infecting one another so we kept quiet well. This year we are back to being in each other's space so only natural to get sick.

    That is so very exciting for Alabama to be checking out courses she is interested in and what she might like to try for a future career. It is not easy trying to find out what makes us happy and what we are good at so I hope she knows that it is ok to try a few things to find what works for her. That she may not find right away what makes her happy and that is fine too. There is so much pressure on young people today to "know what they want"..I still don't know!

    The mandarins are really yummy in the shops at the moment but I bet the ones fresh off the tree are even better, yum! I am thinking you will make some awesome marmalade with them maybe?

    It is really getting frosty and much cooler here now, the afternoon sky is already night like and it is only 4.20pm. I have parent teacher tonight otherwise I would be straight home and into PJ's..lol

    Looking forward to the weekend and some more football.

    Chat soon

    Hugs as always my friend

    Sarah xxxx

  7. Matchy69
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    24 May 2021 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hi Sarah I am glad the sponge cake turned out good.They are yummy with fresh cream.

    Both kids were sick on the weekend and are back at school now hopefully all week.

    I will make some marmalade at of my tangelos as its ayummy one and I will my neighbour says I can have the rest of cumquats as she is going to New Zealand in a couple of weeks touch wood so I will make some out of those as well.

    I am suppose to be starting on doing the slab for my shed today and hopefully I can get it poured this week.

    It is freezing cold here this morning and I have to get up and the guy will be here soon to level the site.

    Take care,

    Mark.

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  8. Aaronsis
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    25 May 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hey Mark

    That is great news that you are making moves on the shed and getting the slab poured, there is no way you would be doing that if you were here in Melbourne as we are just about to cop a huge storm. It is as black as night and sooo windy. People are leaving work here early to get their kids and to get home before it hits.

    I hope your kids are feeling better. Touch wood mine have not been ill this year and I hope we can make it through winter, which reminds me I should make an appointment for their flu shots.

    That is awesome that you will get the fruit off the neighbours tree, I have been meaning to make some more jam too but if I don't get a crack on the fruit will finish.

    I have a friend coming over to help me pack a few things tonight as I am moving house again. I really don't enjoy it but the guy across the road is giving us a bit of trouble so time to move on.

    I just hope she doesn't want me to cook as she will be very disappointed to find I am not, been a busy week already and it is only Tuesday..lol

    Any updates on the bike?

    Chat soon my friend

    Sarah xxx

  9. Matchy69
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    25 May 2021 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hi Sarah good luck with moving.Its worst thing moving I probably never do it again.

    Leveled a site for the slab but measured it and it isn't big enough so more work there yet.

    I haven't done much work on my bike.Just pulled a few bits off it.

    The kids are back at school and I got to go to Gala day Friday to another school for my son.

    Freezing cold mornings here but nice warm days.Hopefully no rain here for the next couple of weeks to I get the slab poured for the shed.

    Take care,

    Mark.

  10. Aaronsis
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    28 May 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hey Mark

    Well here we are in Melbourne and doing day one of another lock down. Thankfully I am still able to come into the office and work so makes it somewhat more doable for me. I hope that we can get back on track with this and that the days are not stretched to 10 or even 14...fingers crossed!

    The gala sounds interesting for a new school for your son, what was that like?

    Moving is the absolute pits but time to move to the next place. I have started with a few boxes and now with the weekend ahead and lockdown it gives me the opportunity to get a whole lot more packed up. I am not planning on doing it again for awhile.

    The shed slab sounds like it is coming along nicely, that is pretty exciting to have something to build and a project on the go. Great that the weather looks good for you, we are the same here, although while the mornings are so very cold we have had the rain but hopeful it will ease off over the weekend.

    About to get my morning Chai Latte which will be sure to put a smile on my face.

    Hope you are good my friend and that you have something wonderful planned for the weekend.

    Chat really soon

    Sarah xx

  11. Matchy69
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    30 May 2021 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hi Sarah I hope you are coping with the lock down and trying to move in the process.

    The Gala day was ok.Its just all the schools in the district playing each other in sport and mixing with each other.It goes over a couple of Friday's.

    We had a couple of very frosty mornings here and I have had the fire going.I had the weekend free and had all these plans on doing things around here but only managed to do a couple of hours of gardening this morning until I ran out of puff.

    Good to see both our footy teams winning on the weekend.Big game for is next weekend playing the tigers.

    I hope you are doing ok.

    Take care,

    Mark.

  12. Aaronsis
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    31 May 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hey Mark

    Lockdown, well..I guess it is going as well as can be expected. I am still at work so that presents so normality and like there is no real change. However the kids are at home doing school remotely again so that is the same old challenge of getting them engaged. My biggest sadness is that I was supposed to be going to NSW this weekend and it is highly unlikely that I will get to go. I just wanted to do this one thing and now I cannot. I know that everyone is feeling some sort of loss and frustration here so I am not the only one, but it is hard none the less.

    It was great that we still had the football to watch and yes, our teams got up and won which was awesome.

    I did some cooking and pretty much just fluffed around at home with housework and took the time to actually get some rest in which was lovely too.

    The mornings here are super frosty also, we had frost on everything this morning and as I got into my car the temp said 1 degree......brrrr it was sooo cold! The sun is out today so that has at least made me feel cheery but it is still pretty fresh!

    Well I would like to report something exciting but nope...just work and kids this week and staying at home...I hope you have been able to do something nice over the weekend?

    Hugs to you my friend

    Sarah xxx

  13. Matchy69
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    31 May 2021 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hi Sarah I am glad you can still go to work.It gives you some normality. I am sorry you might be able to go to NSW and that was for something important for you.I was surprised on Friday that I didn't have to sign in at the school like I have been doing and the kids were told to shake hands at the end of each game and no hand sanitizer in sight and I thought of you and everyone down there and how much of a different world it has just came for you and my heart goes out to all.And I know it can happen here again and have all those freedoms to vanish even for just a few days how that will effect us mentally.

    I had the worst night's sleep ever and feel very tired and scared this morning.

    Tske care,

    Mark.

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  14. Matchy69
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    2 June 2021 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hi Sarah I feel your pain of going through another lock down.I wish you didn't have to go through this again.My problems seem so minor to what you are going through.

    All the best.

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  15. Matchy69
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    2 June 2021
    I am having the crapist day and feel like I am just getting kicked and kicked while I am down.My depression is real and my lonelyness is to.Maby tomorrow be a better day.
  16. Aaronsis
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    3 June 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hi Mark

    I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling so down and defeated and I am hoping today was better for you. You are right in that your depression is so very real and I know how hard to fight to get through these times that feel so very overwhelming to you.

    Feeling lonely too on top of all that you go through is the hardest of all as it is not easy to bring people into your life and to make friends. I am so glad though that you can reach out here and feel part of this awesome family.

    Thank you so much for thinking of me. I have been working from home for the past two days and in the office the other days. I feel somewhat grateful in that I have my job in a really scary time when so many are losing jobs and are having their businesses impacted by the restrictions this virus is forcing. It is hard and it is horrific but what can we do really, stay away from each other and stay vigilant and do the best we can.

    My kids are really feeling it this time with online schooling and boredom setting in. My son gets to go back to classroom learning next week but my daughter has another week at home. It is so tough for them too.

    I have been painting furniture today that I have wanted to do for a while now so that has given me some joy today and will do the final coat over the weekend with some of the last bits of packing I have to do.

    Hope that today has been better for you Mark and that you have been able to get into your garden and do some of the things that you enjoy.

    Thinking of you my friend during these really tough times and I am so very sorry that I can only give you a virtual hug and let you know that I care and I am thinking of you.

    Hugs

    Sarah

  17. Matchy69
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    3 June 2021 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hi Sarah thanks for your kind words.I am on a bit downer at the moment and finding it hard to stay to positive.

  18. Aaronsis
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    4 June 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    I am around today if you want to chat, get some stuff off your chest or just chat about the day and how you are going. I am so sorry that you are feeling this way.

    S

  19. Matchy69
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    4 June 2021 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hi Sarah it's cold windy day after the rain we had yesterday.A few things are just getting on top of me and feel like it will just keep continuing.The kids will be dropped of later and that might take my mine of things and give me another set of things to worry about.

    Take care,

    Mark.

  20. Aaronsis
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    4 June 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    It is cold and wintery here too, I think that does not help with feeling low if you are not having a particularly great day.

    I hope that when the kids come that you can maybe watch a movie or do some baking or something fun together that will take your mind off things as well as try to alleviate the worry and the anxiety around what is going on for them too.

    Have you ever made a chocolate sponge? I might try my hand at that now that I have done a basic one with success...famous last works lol.

    S

  21. Matchy69
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    4 June 2021 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hi Sarah no I haven't made a chocolate sponge.Should be pretty straight forward if you mastered the plain sponge.I made some Cumquat jam the other day that turned out perfect from my neighbours tree as she has gone to New Zealand for a couple of weeks.I need to make some tangelo marmalade.The tree is just loaded with fruit.

    My son has been home sick today at his mother's.They will be dropped off after my daughter gets out of school.

    I have the fire ready to go so the kids keep warm.Probably watch a movie with my daughter tonight.

    Take care,

    Mark.

  22. Aaronsis
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    4 June 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Yes I hope you are right Mark and that if I can do one, the other, being the chocolate should not be so hard...the key word here is should..as you know I hate that word...lol..it is full of expectation that I am sure I cannot fulfil. But I will have a crack at it and let you know....I am even thinking of filling it with some sort of chocolate cream...if I get that far..do you think that will be too much?

    I hope your son is feeling better soon. The fire sounds divine and I am sure being curled up infront of that will make anyone feel better.

    What sort of movies does your daughter like?

    I had to watch Kissing Booth with mine...I actually did enjoy it ...lol

    S

  23. Matchy69
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    4 June 2021 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hi Sarah the chocolate cream sounds like a great idea to try.I know someone who will love that.I have had plenty of disasters in the kitchen and use them as a learning experience.I was thrilled how well the marmalade turned out as I hadn't made any for 12 months.It is always nice to get it to turn out perfect.

    My daughter likes borrow movies and just watched Saw with her and will probably watch the second one tomorrow night.

    The fire was nice and warms up the whole house.

    Take care,

    Mark.

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  24. Aaronsis
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    7 June 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hey Mark

    Hope the weekend with the kids was great, and that you enjoyed those horror movies with Alabama. I must admit I am not one for a horror movie although I have watched all the "SAWS" and they actually are good. I think it is the whole mastermind behind the exercise not just the blood and guts.

    I didn't get around to the chocolate sponge but did paint my bed..lol..totally sanded it and gave it two coats of primer and then one coat of top coat..will try for another one tonight if I can manage it. It was a really dark timber frame and now it is brilliant white and looks like a brand new frame, very pleased indeed.

    You are so right about experimenting in the kitchen and how much you learn with things dont go as planned. I think I have mentioned this before but I went through 36 eggs to get the sponge done once, and even then the last one was just ok. I have this new recipe now and it was promised a no fail, and it did deliver!

    Did you manage to get up to anything else exciting over the weekend?

    I am just hoping that the news comes soon that we can leave lockdown, as you can imagine it is becoming very frustrating here. I understand it is needed but it is alot to manage to be honest.

    Chat soon my friend and hope today is a great one for you.

    Hugs

    Sarah xxx

  25. Matchy69
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    7 June 2021 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hi Sarah unfortunately I have been sick all weekend.Still sick today.Managed to watch two saw movies with my daughter on the weekend.They are just clever traps they set gruesome but clever.

    You could even go full out with your chocolate sponge and decorate it with strawberries dipped in chocolate.

    I hope you come out of lock down soon.Lets hope you can and everyone gets back to their lives.

    Really nice warm day after frosty morning which makes my cough worst been making my mum's lemon and honey drink for my throat.

    Take care,

    Mark.

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  26. Matchy69
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    17 June 2021 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hi Sarah just seeing how you are and if you settled into your new place ok.I have been sick and in hospital.Slowly getting better.I hope you are well.

    Take care,

    Mark.

  27. Aaronsis
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    17 June 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hey Mark

    OH NO..I hope that you are ok? Sending you warm hugs and hope that you are on the mend and feeling much better very soon.

    The move went really well, super busy and so very much to do but I am mostly all in now and just have a vacate clean to happen and I have arranged for the lawn to be mowed so I don't have to worry about that either. I forget how huge it is to move. I will be glad when next week is over and I am all in and it is done fully.

    I have an issue with the plumbing but there is someone coming out this afternoon to check that out so hopefully not too much to worry about there.

    The kids are loving it and the cats are happy so we are all really really good....phew!

    Hope your kids are doing well and that they are looking forward to some down time with school holidays approaching. I know mine are.

    You will laugh at this one...it is my son's 17th birthday next week and he wants to have some friends over. I said to him I will make him the cake from the Women's Weekly cake book..the train!....he said he would love that...lol..so that will be on the week after next as that is when he will have his friends over..COVID permitting of course!

    Hope to hear that you are doing well Mark and that your stay in hospital was just the trick, I really hope that there is nothing serious. Hugs to you.

    Your friend

    Sarah xxx

  28. Matchy69
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    18 June 2021 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hi Sarah thankyou for your kind thoughts.I love that your son is happy with the train cake for his 17th birthday.I have made a few cakes out of that cake book over the years and my mother use to make our birthday cakes out of that book and she did make the train cake one year and I think that's on the front cover.

    I hope you survived the storms that you had over there.I just seen some of the damage from it on the news.

    I am improving each day but found today is a bit cold and have been coughing and feeling it in my lungs so I am sitting in front of the fire now trying to stay warm.

    One more week it's school holidays and I going to book my daughter in for a couple of driving lessons.I don't think I am a very good teacher and I will see how she goes with her anxiety and lessons with a stranger.Lomg road for her to get her licence.

    Last weekend was a great weekend with the AFL and some great close games and come from behind wins.

    Take care,

    Mark.

  29. Aaronsis
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    21 June 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hello my friend

    I hope that today finds you feeling better and that you are well on your way to some great recovery and feeling well.

    Ahh the driving lessons, I am so lucky to have one friend that has a manual car and has been taking my son out to practice. I think it really makes a huge difference when they are with someone that is not a parent. While I am sure that your driving and your ability to teach is just fine, I think when it is our own kids it is very difficult. Both feeling frustrated and I think that it is just better with someone else, I hope that your daughter goes well with her lessons too.

    Well I have locked in the train cake and am starting to write a list of all the things I will need to buy to make this creation...I will even put a pic up here for you so you can see how I go..I made it for his first birthday so that was a very long time ago..17 years in fact..lol.

    I am not sure if you got to see the Geelong game on Friday night but WOW..what a nail biter..as you can imagine I was on the edge of my seat and the anxiety was through the roof....what a great game. Your boys had a win too so a great weekend in football all around.

    Thank goodness that the storms did not really impact me personally. It was fierce though, the wind and the rain and so many people, and still to this day have no power and are struggling. Driving around the next morning the streets had trees and branches everywhere, peoples fences down and just things like trampolines all tipped over, I saw on one post that someone's trampoline was on their shed roof!

    Well I really hope that you are feeling better and that the coughing has eased for you and that you are able to stay warm infront of your fire and enjoy that.

    Huge hugs from me and chat soon.

    Sarah xxxxx

  30. Matchy69
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    21 June 2021 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hi Sarah yes what heart stopped of a game for you.It gives you a good high when you win after the siren.Been some great games lately.We managed to beat the Hawks which is one team I always want to beat after they humiliated us in the 1983 grandfinal by 83 points.

    I managed to book my daughter in for a 2 hr lesson on Monday after having difficulties finding someone who would come out here.This one found specialises in teaching people with dissabilities.

    I had long night Saturday night my son had trouble going to sleep and he adventurally went to to sleep at 4am for a couple of hours and I didn't get any sleep at all.Not good for me when I am still trying to recover.

    My neighbour got a new kitten and it dissapeared Sunday and my daughter and I tried to find it but no sign of it but came out of its hidey hole late in the afternoon for its dinner.Its grey and ginger and very cute.

    Take care,

    Mark.

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