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Forums / Long term support over the journey / how do i stop crying

Topic: how do i stop crying

  1. Aaronsis
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    22 June 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hi Mark

    I love a great game of footy, can be any team really but a close game is usually a really good one! I love to hear that you are happy to beat the Hawks..our rival team...lol...and it is funny how even after a long period of time we want to seek justice for certain games we get thrashed by, or grand finals that are lost.

    That is brilliant that you were able to find someone to suit Allabama's needs for her driving lesson. I will be so interested to hear how she went and how she found the lesson. That is really great that we are starting to get some fantastic services in the community.

    OH MY! 4am and then up early..that would have been really hard Mark and especially when you are not feeling the best either, this must have taken some real patience and strength to manage that one, you are such a great dad you really are and those kids are so very lucky to have you.

    I am soo pleased to hear that the naughty little kitten was found. It is funny as when the removalists were talking to me last weekend they said that they had a job that took 2hours, but then proceeded to take another 5 hours to find a missing cat!! The cat was terrified by all the commotion in the house with the move and took off apparently, but they said that they found it hiding behind the washing machine!!!..in the truck......sigh! That little kitten does sound very cute and I am so glad that it was found safe and well.

    How are you feeling today? How is your recovery coming along? I hope that you are starting to feel much better and that you can start to feel like your self again really soon. Although the idea of being curled up in front of the fire does sound very appealing to be honest. I was feeling so very tired last night and was in bed at 8am, it was so nice to just be able to rest and to get some sleep.

    The sun is out here this afternoon which makes me feel happy, I think we are in for some wet weather in the next few days, which makes me feel even more jealous of that fire...lol

    Hugs to you my friend and hope you are doing well.

    Sarah xxx

  2. Matchy69
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    1 July 2021 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hi Sarah my daughter's driving lesson was ok in the end but I was not one bit happy with the instructor at all.Firstly he turned up in a manual car when I had asked him if it was automatic and he said yes it will be automatic.When I said to him when he showed up in a manual that he said it was automatic he said he will change gears for her and don't worry about it so begrudgly let her go.They did 2 hours of highway driving and merging and lane changing.I wanted her to do more driving in town and parking which is what he said he would do but I know why he did mostly highway driving because the car was manual.I paid a lot of money for double lesson so I am not happy.

    Hows your week been ?I hope you are doing ok.

    We are just out of the lock down area here and mask wearing but when I went into town the other day all the staff in the shops were wearing mask and I forgot to log in at the shopping centre so we're a lot of people.Not sure how successful this logging on will be.

    Looks like a wet couple of days here.We have had a lot of good rain here this year.

    The footy game will be good to watch we are playing each other.Maby a draw for us lol.

    Take care,

    Mark.

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  3. Aaronsis
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    2 July 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hi Mark

    I feel really proud of Alabama that she was able to still have her lesson albeit that the car was not automatic and also that it was not what she was expecting. That was really brave of her as manuals can be pretty daunting. It was pretty poor on the instructors part to arrive with a manual though after you had made it perfectly clear you wanted an automatic, that could have gone very bad for him. What is the plan now for her lessons? As you say, they are not cheap and you most certainly want to get the most out of them for both her and for you too. I hope you are feeling ok about this.

    Yes I hear you with the whole QR code situation and checking in to every place you go, it is annoying but I get why they are doing it. We have relaxed some what with our restrictions here too but are still wearing masks inside which is frustrating, but once again, I understand.

    Looking forward to the game tonight my friend..it is you against me..hahahaha...I am not really sure what to expect after our poor performance last week, I think it is a game of who is best on the night really so lets see. Good luck and may the best team win....(fingers crossed it is me..lol)

    I am looking forward to some rest this weekend, although my son has some mates over tomorrow night to celebrate his birthday so that will be a bit full on, but fun for him I hope.

    The weather is supposed to be bad so I just hope that they don't walk mud all through my house..sigh....ahh well what can you do really!

    Have a great weekend my friend and hope you are up to something nice too.

    Hugs as always

    Sarah xxx

  4. Matchy69
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    5 July 2021 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hi Sarah I hope you managed to have good weekend and your son enjoyed himself.Was a bit of a disappointing game for us against you Friday after a great first quarter.

    My son has a specialist appointment this afternoon and just had a bit of a discussion about it with my ex but she didn't seem to listen to anything I said and knocked back my ideas.

    I wish I was stronger for my daughter and not let someone walk all over me.I should have demanded my money back.No wonder he wanted me to do a direct bank transfer before the lesson.I will have to find another instructor.It is really hard to find anyone to come out here.

    I have been making cordial out of my lemons and Tangelos and will make some more marmalade.

    A really frosty morning here and still freezing cold.The cold makes me feel comfortable.Seems much easier to warm myself up then to cool myself down.

    Take care,

    Mark.

  5. Aaronsis
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    7 July 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hey Mark

    Here is the cake!! I am pretty proud of how it turned out and my son had a really great time with his friends so that was all I cared about...a heap of work but all so he is happy..you know the drill!

    Yes well the footy was a bit of a runaway game but don't forget we have had many games like that too, I actually don't think you guys are doing too badly this year! I really enjoy watching MacDonald Tipungwuti play, he is so fast when he runs and is such an awesome athlete.

    Sorry that things are not smother with your ex and that the communication is not simpler, especially around things like medical appointments and decisions with the kids health, I am sure it is so very frustrating for you Mark.

    Looking back with the car driving lesson, I think it actually turned out to be ok that Alabama went. She could have quite easily refused but she didn't, she also got to experience being out of her comfort zone and trying something she was totally not expecting so while it was certainly not what you paid for or what you wanted, I kind of think it turned out to be an experience for her. I hope you can find another person though that is suitable and what you originally wanted for her, it does sound tricky if you are fairly remote, but I am sure not impossible as you are a great dad and will go to the ends of the earth for her.

    WOW, the cordial sounds so delicious, I am sure it is a mix of tart and sweet which would be so yummy. You are a real wizz in the kitchen, you are so very clever!

    I totally agree in that it is far easier to warm up than it is to cool off, I love a wintery day with rain and a fire and just being able to sit and be warm and do not much, the perfect reason to stay inside and just take it easy.

    I went to the movies to see Cruella the other night, if you get the chance to see it you so should, it is so wonderful and the music and the costumes is just amazing, I really really loved it.

    Chat soon my friend and enjoy the coolness that these wintery days bring.

    Hugs

    Sarah xx

  6. Matchy69
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    8 July 2021 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hi Sarah your cake looked amazing well done.I am glad your son's birthday went well.

    Another cold windy day here.Just enjoying the fire today.

    Tipu is one of my favourite players when he's playing well.Always good to watch.He looked a bit unfit last season but looks good this season.We are just not quiet there this season.Can play some good footy at times but not being really consistent at the moment.

    I haven't been to the movies for a few years now.I use to take my daughter but hard to when I have my son.

    My son's appointment went ok with no change to any medication or treatment.This morning my son threw his iPad and broke that.He had been doing well and not throwing anything.I meant to have a meeting with the school when it goes back next week to talk about communicating strategies for my son and that he can take into high school.

    I hope you are having an ok week.

    Take care,

    Your friend,

    Mark.

  7. Matchy69
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    11 July 2021
    Just seemed to be a long lonely weekend for me.Was not feeling the best mentally and physically.It would be nice to have someone to chat to and take my mind off my mental problems.
  8. Matchy69
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    11 July 2021
    Watching a movie that reminds me so much of my friend and it's making me cry so much.I shouldn't put my self through this torture but I probably deserve it.
  9. Aaronsis
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    12 July 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hi Mark

    I am so sorry that your weekend was tough, you most certainly do not deserve any of these feelings that you struggle with, you don't deserve the loneliness that you feel and you don't deserve to be in such sadness. I know how hard this is for you and I wish I knew the words to say or the things to type to make you feel better or to at the very least make you see what I see, a very caring and very wonderful human.

    Thank you for your kind words on my cake, it was a challenge and I don't think I will be up to doing that each year..so I hope he will be happy with a regular cake next year..in saying that he is turning 18 so who knows what he will want.

    I hope you can get to see a movie at some point soon, and especially something as wonderful as Cruella, it was really good soul food as I said, I wonder if your daughter would like it too?

    Were you able to get the ipad fixed or is it a new one that is required? I feel for him as the struggle he must go through V's how he expresses himself is hard, and hard for you too. Also very hard to be understanding when things like this happen too as ipads are not cheap.

    One of my cats has run away and I am torn between feeling so very angry that she feels she just wants to take of and also very sad that she has left, also worried that something has happened to her V's what if she is with someone else and they are keeping her. Urrgg so frustrating and worrying. She has done this once before and two weeks later just walked in the back door like nothing was wrong...I am hopeful of the same again.

    Well I am off to have some soup for lunch as it is absolutely freezing here today and the wind makes it feel that much more cold.

    Warm hugs to you my friend.

    Sarah xxxx

  10. Matchy69
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    13 July 2021 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hi Sarah thanks for your kind words.I think the lonelyness of it all gets to me at times and regrets I have in my life.

    I am really sorry one your cats has disappeared.The unknowing where they are is really hard.My daughters cat that she has at her mother's disappears for days at a time and then just strolls back in.When I was a kid our cat I think use to visit one of the neighbours and use to come home with its fur clipped and things.My neighbour who's cat I ended up with as they stopped feeding it have another cat.I saw it in there in their window.So I might end up with another cat lol.

    At least I had a win on Friday night footy.It was good to see and young Archie Perkins looks like he's going to be a superstar for us.

    I am feeling very unwell today.I might just stay in bed.i haven't even checked if we got frost here this morning.

    Take care,

    Mark.

  11. Aaronsis
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    13 July 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hi Mark

    I am really sorry to hear that you are not feeling well today and I hope that you can hang around here for a bit and have a chat and get some interaction and feel some connections here. It is great to see you on so many threads and I hope that you do feel the love and support here.

    Your game on Friday was so awesome and yes, young Archie Perkins was outstanding..three goals maybe, that was incredible for such a young kid to have such a huge impact on the game, good on him!

    I am hopeful that this darn cat will show up and as you say, some cats tend to do this, go away for a few days or a few weeks and then just show up like nothing has happened. It is what it is though and I cannot make her come back and if she does then that is awesome and if she does not, I have to think that she has perhaps found another home.

    I have put some brisket in the slow cooker today, I have coated it in mustard and have got a really nice rub on it. I put that on last night and let it sit overnight, then put it in the slow cooker this morning. I hope that it turns out really well and I am thinking of having it with some coleslaw in a roll or something like that. I will also have to get some sauce to put on it too so it is not dry..hmmm so much to think about ...lol

    I hope that you can find some small part of the day to create a smile Mark and that you can feel some sense of joy that you so very much deserve.

    Huge hugs to you my friend

    Sarah xx

  12. Matchy69
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    13 July 2021 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hi Sarah I tried to reply to you before my other phone it wouldn't work.

    One thing with Essendon is we are ahead of Richmond on the ladder and they have been the bench mark for the last few years.I won't rule them out of the finals yet.

    I use mustard a bit n cooking especially with reheating leftovers.I put a table spoon in like left over spaghetti and also like using honey or maple syrup.

    My ex is depressing me as I lent her my car at the beginning of the year to she bought another one that her father was going to help her with but she had a falling out with him so she's got my car and told me to sell one of my investment properties and buy a new one.grrr.I just had a text msg her wanting $49 for a iPad she just won on eBay.

    A lot other things depressing me at the moment.

    I hope your cat comes back but if it dosnt it has found a nice new home like I gave a cat.

    How have you been with your mental health?

    Take care,

    Mark.

  13. Matchy69
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    15 July 2021
    Hi Sarah I hope you doing ok with the latest rules in Victoria.
  14. Aaronsis
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    16 July 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hi Mark

    Well here we are in another lockdown situation, while it is frustrating I am of the opinion that there is absolutely nothing I can do about it so I just get on with it. I will use this weekend to perhaps do some cooking and some movie watching and to have some quiet down time and just enjoy the peace. I find that getting all bent out of shape about it does nothing.

    We had a ripper win last night so that was a great start to the next couple of days and I will be sure to be watching as much football as I can ..lol I also have some new meat rubs that arrived so I may even do something like that in the slow cooker again, or maybe even try some chicken this time..who knows.

    I saw on another post that you have some exciting news with regards to Alabama and the NDIS which is great. I am so pleased that they have the services that they do for our kids that are leaving school and need something for "what next". It sounds really great so I am looking forward to hearing how that turns out for her.

    I am doing pretty well with regards to my mental health at the moment, while this month has proven to be a tough one I am feeling ok. We scattered mum's ashes yesterday and that was very emotional but I am glad that we got to do it before another lock down. I cannot actually believe that it has been one year already since she passed. Then I have my brother's anniversary on the 31st but we will not be able to do anything for that as NSW is pretty locked up. So it will be each of us doing something personal I think.

    I hope that you can have a lovely weekend, do you have anything planned?

    The cat still has not shown up so I am hopeful that she may make an appearance this weekend..who knows but fingers crossed.

    Take care and chat soon my dear friend

    Sarah xxx

  15. Matchy69
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    17 July 2021 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hi Sarah I knew it was coming up to the anniversary so that's why I asked you how your mental health was.I know anniversaries can be triggering.

    I hope your cat comes home soon.It is a scarry thing not knowing where they are and have recently moved and the cat might not know the area.

    It was good that NDIS gave us the link to the SLES as I didn't think of asking them and didn't know who to contact about my daughter.I haven't read it all yet but they offer financial and other support for school leavers to find work and transition into work.

    I haven't been feeling the best and didn't have a good night's sleep with stomach pains.

    I managed to watch the game last night but missed the cats one as I went to bed early.I don't even know who the dons are playing this weekend.Hopefully we can get another win.

    Cold and windy here today and have the fire going.

    Take care,

    Mark.

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  16. Aaronsis
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    20 July 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hi Mark

    How are you feeling? How is the tummy feeling?

    I am doing ok…I feel so much peace with having done mums ashes and now can focus on how I will acknowledge my brother’s anniversary seeing we are in lockdown. It might be a candle but will do something…. Tough times at the moment.

    I am working from home so that is a nice change for me as I mostly still go into the office but this time choosing to do the home shift, I am somewhat enjoying the slow pace.

    No sign of the cat yet as we come into 2.5 weeks which is longer than last time. I have hope but am starting to think realistically that she won’t be back.

    Such great news for Alabama and what next for her after school… such great news for you too so I really hope that goes well for you all.

    The weather today was really wild and we had so much rain… nice to be at home while that is going on.

    Huge hugs to you my friend

    Sarah xxx

  17. Matchy69
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    22 July 2021 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hi Sarah how are you?I still have stomach problems and always have but are worst at the moment.I am glad you sorted your mother's ashes out and that has helped you.I still need to do something with my mum's ashes.They are still sitting at my brother's house and wee going to put them in the wall with my dad's.I had an idea of scattering where they had there honeymoon on an island of Cairns.

    The kids have been home sick and got tested which was like an 8 hour day for them.It was negative.

    I am sorry your cat hasn't come back yet.Mine has been annoying me and keeping me awake at night.I hope it does return for you.

    I just put a load of washing on and will head into town when that is finished to get a couple of things.

    It has been very cold and have had the fire going.Rsin forecast for tomorrow.

    Take care,

    Your friend,

    Mark.

  18. Aaronsis
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    22 July 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hi Mark

    Gee it is not good to hear that your stomach is still bothering you, I hope that you can get that sorted and it doesn't go on for much longer.

    It really has given me some peace with doing the ashes, like the circle as been completed and we can lay her to rest and have given her a goodbye. I hope that you can do something like what you mentioned with your mum's ashes too, and that you can get some peace too, it would be wonderful for you to have some closure too.

    Yeah it is tough to not know what is going on with the cat, I just hope that she is with someone who is caring for her, that is all I can think as the alternative is too sad. I just keep waiting for her to rock up like last time and just walk in the door like nothing happened. I had to laugh though when you said yours is annoying you, I have to shut my door at night or mine would do the same, and take up all the bed...

    The fire sounds so lovely as it is really cold here too..I am sure it is both soothing to watch and to get the warmth from, I would really love that now, a fire is great!

    Just enjoying my morning Chai and then off to get all this mail done at work.

    Chat some more to you soon my friend

    Hugs

    Sarah xxx

  19. Aaronsis
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    27 July 2021

    Hi Mark

    Just wanting to stop in and say hello and hope that you are still here and reading and that you are not feeling like you are not welcome here, you are and you are needed here too.

    I hope you are ok and I am sending warm hugs and thinking of you.

    Hugs

    Sarah xxxx

  20. Aaronsis
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    4 August 2021

    HI Mark

    I hope you are still here and reading as I think of you daily and wonder what you are up to and how you are doing.

    I just wanted to stop in and say hello, that I hope you are okay and that if you want to still chat I am here, but if not that is totally fine too.

    Huge hugs to you and hope to chat some time, or not or sometimes, what ever you like.

    Hugs

    Sarah xx

  21. Matchy69
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    4 October 2021
    I feel pretty stupid today as I saw my ex today as she had me and one of the twins over for lunch and I gave her flowers and chocolates as it was our anniversary and she didn't know what the day was.I feel like I should be doing something on an anniversary even though we are not together.
  22. Matchy69
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    3 November 2021

    I seem to prefer winter days to the warmer weather.I seem to get more depressed and can't do much in the heat especially the way my health is.

    I saw the specialist a couple of weeks ago at the hospital.The ultra sound showed something we have to keep as n eye on.See the specialist in 6 months time and do the same test again.

    Take care,

    Mark.

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