Online forums

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please complete your profile

Complete your profile

We’re currently making essential changes to upgrade the Beyond Blue Forums.  Join our online community and opt in to receive an email when the new Forums are available.

Forum membership is open to anyone residing in Australia.

Join the online community Community rules Coping during the Coronavirus outbreak

Forums / Long term support over the journey / I Choose To Survive (Battling anxiety, depression & avpd)

Topic: I Choose To Survive (Battling anxiety, depression & avpd)

  1. Sapphire*
    Sapphire* avatar
    309 posts
    28 April 2018 in reply to Emmy.

    Heya Emmy.

    Sorry i hevent been by. Had a wedding i had to go to yesterday. What did you have to do today that was out of your comfort zone. You dont have to answer that if you dont feel like it.

    Early night does sound good doesnt it 😊

  2. Emmy.
    Emmy. avatar
    1870 posts
    28 April 2018 in reply to startingnew
    Like you might diffuse some lavender oil and head to bed with some nice music playing :)
    1 person found this helpful
  3. Chloe_M
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Chloe_M avatar
    836 posts
    28 April 2018 in reply to Emmy.
    How are we feeling today Em?
  4. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    10040 posts
    28 April 2018 in reply to Emmy.

    Hello Emmy,

    I like the sound of that, but I'll have to use eucalyptus oil tonight so I can breath clearer,

    I hope your day tomorrow is better then today sweetheart..

    Kind and warm hugs 🤗. Good Night.i hope you sleep well.

    Grandy

  5. startingnew
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    startingnew avatar
    5861 posts
    28 April 2018 in reply to Emmy.
    that is what im doing atm too Em. sounds like a good plan :)
    1 person found this helpful
  6. Emmy.
    Emmy. avatar
    1870 posts
    28 April 2018 in reply to Sapphire*

    No sorry needed Sapphire.

    Hubby and I got asked over to one of his friends house for lunch. There house was an hour and a half way, so being that far from home is hard for me. Plus I didn’t really know these people (only met my husbands friend once not the rest of his family). Sounds simple enough right but I start overthinking it all. “What if they don’t like me?”, “What if I say the wrong thing”. Not knowing there house gives me anxiety as I dont know where exits are, where will i sit, what if I can’t eat the food they make and then offend them (have lots of food intolerances and sensitive tummy)... anyway you know how it is the thoughts go on. It’s tiring. But I pushed through. And enjoyed it on the whole. Just tired now.

    1 person found this helpful
  7. Emmy.
    Emmy. avatar
    1870 posts
    28 April 2018 in reply to Ggrand

    How good is eucalyptus oil when you have a cold. I usually diffuse and put some on a teddy, cuddle tight and inhale deep lol.

    Im such a big kid with my toys! I was telling SN that I collect toys as a hobby. I love little cute things. They make me smile.

  8. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    10040 posts
    28 April 2018 in reply to Emmy.

    Hello Emmy,

    Awe that is so good, I still have one that sits on my bed by day and. Limbs into bed with me at night... I like collect dolls, I just love there cute little faces and I'm a child at heart..

    I have a little gift for you....now let see...in my bag 💼....ummm wait...still looking....um...I'll just move this over...um..here it is...🐿...it's a cuddly squirrel...His tail is long enough to wrap around your neck to keep you warm....

    Sleep well sweetheart..

    Grandy.

    1 person found this helpful
  9. Emmy.
    Emmy. avatar
    1870 posts
    28 April 2018 in reply to Ggrand

    Aaww thank you for my squirrel Grandy!!! I love him!!!

    ❤️🐿❤️🐿❤️🐿❤️🐿❤️

    Thanks for not thinking me weird for collecting. I collect so many different things... want to know what I collect??... Hallmark Itty Bitty’s, Shopkins, Squinkies, My Mini Mixie Q’s, Teenie Genies, Squishies, Funko Pop figurines, Momiji Dolls, anything Disney & Hello Kitty and Plushies. Aaahh makes me happy talking about them!! Lol 😊❤️

    2 people found this helpful
  10. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    10040 posts
    28 April 2018 in reply to Emmy.

    Hello Emmy,

    I think that's so cool. Collection is like winning the lottery when you find that special little treasure to keep..

    I used to collect, small antiques, key ring, coasters, dolls, wind chimes, oh love the sound they make, I have them hanging in my dining room and outside..teddy bears, anything different..I don't go out anymore so my collection has stood still for some time, but I still enjoy them all a lot..

    Im pleased you liked the little squirrel..

    Hugs 🤗..for a special person.🌹.

    Grandy

    1 person found this helpful
  11. Emmy.
    Emmy. avatar
    1870 posts
    28 April 2018

    I think I’m going to make a list of all the things that make me happy... (everyone else can share their lists too if you want). Don’t feel you have to read this list lol just something for me to come look at sometimes :)

    My Husband, My Family, My Dog, My Finches (know these are “things” but they’re my most favourite), Rainbows, Unicorns, Disney movies (The Little Mermaid, Beauty & The Beast, Pocahontas, Aladdin, The Lion King, Inside Out), Movies (Love Actually, 50 First Dates, Titanic, Forrest Gump, Ever After, Juno, Amelie, Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory - original), Music (Joshua Radin, Sam Smith, Ed Sheeran, Gordi, Dermot Kennedy, Gabrielle Aplin, My Name Is You), Books (Jodi Piccoult, Rupi Kaur, Courtney Peppernell, Tyler Knott Gregson, Marian Keyes), TV Shows (The Simpson’s, Downton Abbey), Winter, Hot Showers, Long Drives, Easter, Baking Cupcakes, Crystals, Young Living Essential Oils, My Happy Place (down by the lake), Pizza, Chocolate, Christmas, The Smell Of Christmas Trees, Warm Slippers, Shooting Stars, Piglets, Ducklings, Bunny Rabbits, Random Acts Of Kindness, Log Fires, Roasting Marshmallows, Rainy Days, Pineapples, Donkeys, Colleting Toys (Hallmark Itty Bitty’s, Shopkins, Squinkies, My Mini Mixie Q’s, Teenie Genies, Squishies, Funko Pop figurines, Momiji Dolls, anything Disney & Hello Kitty and Plushies), Cricket, NRL, Daisies, Strawberries, Rivers, Creeks, Streams, Wind Chimes, Hawaii, Steamed Pork Buns, Tiny Houses, Glitter, Any Sparkly, Perfume (Marc Jacobs Daisy, Estée Lauder Pleasures - Bloom), Photograhs, Hot Chocolate, Dragonfly’s, Roses, Rainbow Roses, Tulips, The Smell After It Rains, Choc Chip Cookies With Milk, The Colour Pink, Chinese Food, Board Games, Drive-In Cinemas, Snowflakes, Babies Laughing, Sparklers, Angels, Winter Olympics, Pancakes, Hugs, Afternoon Naps, Swarovski Crystals, Bingo, Stickers, Nutella, Sunsets, Picnics, Dolphins, Killer Whales, Night Lights, Blowing Bubbles, Hot Water Bottles, Apple Juice, Echidnas, My Bed LOL, My Home!

    Think that’s everything Lol. Hope people don’t think I’m silly for making this list.

  12. Emmy.
    Emmy. avatar
    1870 posts
    28 April 2018

    This should read...

    My Husband, My Family, My Dog, My Finches (know these AREN’T “things” but they’re my most favourite)

  13. Chloe_M
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Chloe_M avatar
    836 posts
    29 April 2018 in reply to Emmy.

    Wow Emmy, that's actually a really good idea. I might do the same thing. (like you said, no one has to read this but you can if you want).

    My family, my best friend, my friends, dogs, cats, any cute animal, stuffed toy animals, dragons, books, dancing, watching dancing, watching tv, shopping, jumping on my trampoline, gymnastics, playing hockey, singing, my new Converse shoes, anything Disney, anything Harry Potter, listening to music, eating, cars with V8 engines, curly plastic hair ties, being organised, meeting friends, talking, my bed, Pandora jewellery, getting good marks, hugs from my best friend, hugs from anyone lol, ice cream, yellow and orange flowers, catching trains, riding my bike, pools, when I'm about to have a panic attack but it stops, rainbows, stars, mountains, climbing mountains, awards at presentation day and sitting in the boot of my best friends car(it's a long story). Q

    how is everyone today?

    chloe x

    1 person found this helpful
  14. Chloe_M
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Chloe_M avatar
    836 posts
    29 April 2018 in reply to Chloe_M

    Oops

    1. I forgot "raising money for cancer (participating in relay for life every year)"
    2. i don't know why there's a random Q there but forget it's there.
    1 person found this helpful
  15. Emmy.
    Emmy. avatar
    1870 posts
    29 April 2018 in reply to Chloe_M
    Aaww thanks so much for sharing! :) Love your list.
  16. Chloe_M
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Chloe_M avatar
    836 posts
    29 April 2018 in reply to Emmy.

    Haha I love yours too!

    Whats the weather like where you are? I find that the weather definitely effects my mood. It's sunny today for me. I'm actually feeling fairly neutral today. It's a good feeling. A stable one.

    x Chloe

    1 person found this helpful
  17. Music_Freak
    Music_Freak avatar
    3268 posts
    29 April 2018 in reply to Chloe_M

    These lists should so go on the fridge or something!!

    Here's mine off the top of my head...

    Buddy, Halestorm, Arejay (their drummer and writer of my profile pic), Listening to the rain in bed, Cuddles with Buddy, Reading a good book (biographies mostly), Good movies, Writing short stories (fan fic), Having money in the bank (it's a security thing for me, not greed), Long hot showers, Concerts, Having clean sheets on my bed, Rugging up on a cool day...can't think of anything else. There must be more, surely...my list is SO short!!

    1 person found this helpful
  18. Emmy.
    Emmy. avatar
    1870 posts
    29 April 2018 in reply to Music_Freak

    It’s a start Narelle :) keep adding to it. Like favourite foods or places to visit? Love the idea of putting it up on the fridge.

  19. Emmy.
    Emmy. avatar
    1870 posts
    29 April 2018

    How can a day can go from a high to a low so quickly.

  20. Music_Freak
    Music_Freak avatar
    3268 posts
    29 April 2018 in reply to Emmy.

    I don't know Emmy, but it does for me too...seemingly in the blink of an eye...

    What's happened? Might help to get it out :)

  21. Emmy.
    Emmy. avatar
    1870 posts
    29 April 2018 in reply to Music_Freak

    Just sad that people don’t seem to understand me.

    My psychiatrist tells me I use the word “sad” too much. I need to learn more emotions. Not just happy and sad. Perhaps I feel disappointed that people don’t try to understand me. Wonder if that’s a better emotion to use.

    What seems easy for everyone else I'm actually really pushing myself hard to do. Not that I want praise or anything.

    Oh I don’t know what I’m trying to say.

    Just maybe for others to take the lead sometimes and it shouldn’t all fall onto me when I’m actually only just keeping my head above water. And everyone else, they are there easily floating on the surface.

    But its arrogant of me to think that I matter. To think they should make the effort.

    Sometimes I wish I could be my true self when around others not just what they want me to be.

    Sorry Narelle probably totally confused you. Lol. Thanks for asking xx

  22. Music_Freak
    Music_Freak avatar
    3268 posts
    29 April 2018 in reply to Emmy.

    Not arrogant at all!

    Everything shouldn't be up to you. I so know how you're feeling - I went through the same thing with my dad and sister.

    I said to my psychologist once “I'm drowning but all I get from my family are anchors”

    1 person found this helpful
  23. Chloe_M
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Chloe_M avatar
    836 posts
    29 April 2018 in reply to Emmy.

    Hey Em. How are you feeling now? Here if you need me xx I'm by your side, holding your hand 💞

    Narelle you will begin to realise that there are a lot more little and/or materialistic things that make you happy. When you discover them, add them to your list. What do you write fan fic about?

    have a good sleep everyone 😴

    Chloe x

    1 person found this helpful
  24. Emmy.
    Emmy. avatar
    1870 posts
    29 April 2018 in reply to Chloe_M

    Feeling empty actually. Scary how quickly our moods can change.

  25. Chloe_M
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Chloe_M avatar
    836 posts
    29 April 2018 in reply to Emmy.

    Yes, scary indeed. Do you know what triggered this sudden change in temperament? I was saying on Grandy's thread that anything can trigger you- my triggers are sounds, smells, certain colour combinations, specific people's voices, phrases, things that remind me of traumatic and also happy things in my past that no longer belong to me. It can happen so fast *click* we are curled in a ball on the floor. Then all of a sudden *click* we are on top of the world 🌏

    Hope you get a good nights sleep and feel better in the morning.

    Chloe❤️💛💚💙💜

  26. Emmy.
    Emmy. avatar
    1870 posts
    29 April 2018 in reply to Chloe_M
    I’m yet to work out my triggers but yeah can be pretty much anything I think.
  27. Emmy.
    Emmy. avatar
    1870 posts
    29 April 2018

    Wrote this ...

    HER MASK

    She slowly puts her mask back on,
    Knowing they want her illness gone.
    It is easier to play pretend,
    Be someone they can comprehend.

    The game continues around she goes,
    She plays her part, she never slows.
    Relieved her true self not discovered,
    They do believe she has recovered.

    But the mask grows heavy from the tears she's cried,
    Too many emotions it's had to hide.
    No longer does she want to play,
    She cannot do this for another day.

    They find her body she is no more,
    A note beside her on the floor.
    "I'm sorry that I cannot be,
    the person that you want from me."

    Same words repeated, “I thought she was fine,
    If only there had been some sort of sign”.
    Had someone just seen past that disguise.
    It may not have ended in her demise.

    2 people found this helpful
  28. Emmy.
    Emmy. avatar
    1870 posts
    29 April 2018
    PS poem is heavy but I am good. Just wanted to share it though.
    1 person found this helpful
  29. Music_Freak
    Music_Freak avatar
    3268 posts
    29 April 2018 in reply to Emmy.
    Wow...totally hit a nerve with me - I can so relate to these words
    1 person found this helpful
  30. Sapphire*
    Sapphire* avatar
    309 posts
    29 April 2018 in reply to Emmy.

    Wow Emmy. That poem.. it hit me right in the heart. "Im sorry i cannot be, the person that you want from me." This is how i am feeling and struggling so bad with atm. Its hard to pretend all the time. That poem is deep in my soul.

    💙Sapphire

    1 person found this helpful

Stay in touch with us

Sign up below for regular emails filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones.


Sign me up