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Forums / Long term support over the journey / I just feel like i have no chance..

Topic: I just feel like i have no chance..

  1. swtpotato
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    26 October 2017 in reply to HamSolo01

    Hi hamsolo,

    i love these posts! Being able to acknowlege and feel proud of positives and personal skills is huge! It’s so hard to do when under the cloud of depression and anxiety. I’m very proud of you too you’ve answered a lot of your own questions and worries by yourself.

    I haven’t been around due to crazy uni schedule but I plan to be back on the forums a lot more when that’s all done.

    It’s always very interesting when you go in believing something different about yourself (e.g ‘pretending’ you feel confident) and realising how differently people react to you. That there isn’t much difference between pretending and actually being confident/other things - I think it’s all to do with belief (why depression/anxiety makes it so hard for us).

    Perhaps you could plan a few more activities to try this out again and see how it goes, kinda like experiments and exposure therapy. See how this one social event led you to question a lot of negative beliefs about yourself?

    dont worry about the power thing aha I found that happened to me too but eventually my other emotions came back as well so I felt less like a robot.

    i think it’s great you have a plan b and you are sticking with your routine.

    Continue to expect fluctuations in mood and motivation and try and be kind to yourself when it happens. Perhaps you could write a safety plan kind of thing while you are motivated where you remind yourself when you crash to let it pass, to actively counter it, and activities that tend to help you feel better.

    Good luck u are doing great :)))

    m

    1 person found this helpful
  2. BballJ
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    26 October 2017 in reply to HamSolo01

    Hi HamSolo01,

    Ahh sounds like it all went great at the assessment centre and you are writing a lot more positive and grounded which is great and I have said before when you are in this mindset, it shows that you can literally accomplish anything you want too. I think it is good to have a plan B as well but don't let it distract you for plan A and still focus your energy into that of course. It is good that you realised you can command respect, not many people can do that but from what I read it sounded like you went in with confidence to this place and really owned it as your own which is great and no one could ask more of you.

    Regarding your second post, I too compare myself to others and it really hurts ourselves for no reason. People have all different things affecting their life and are where they are because of certain circumstances, you just have the play the one's you are dealt and try your best to become everything you can become.

    My best,

    Jay

    1 person found this helpful
  3. HamSolo01
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    26 October 2017 in reply to swtpotato

    there is no one for me...

    why do i bother...

    i'm too different..

  4. HamSolo01
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    27 October 2017 in reply to swtpotato

    horrible night

    horrible day

    horrible life

  5. swtpotato
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    27 October 2017 in reply to HamSolo01

    Hey dude

    What a weight you carry around

    Sometimes it’s just too heavy yeah ?

    We’re still here supporting you through these dips. They come, and then they pass. But i know how exhausting it is trying to deal and then prepare yourself for the next one.

    I don’t think I have much advice atm but just know I feel for you and I believe in you even if you do not — you’ve got it.

    m

    1 person found this helpful
  6. HamSolo01
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    27 October 2017 in reply to swtpotato

    thanks swtpotato

    i wrote this up yesterday and also today on another forum site and it sums up my current state rather well

    yesterday:

    "he horrible feeling of being a loser/virgin/weird person
    i hate the way i am and the way society screws with my mind... my already screwed mind..
    i need to move on from my history and it's so hard to do..
    i don't know what to do anymore with my life..
    i feel like i am not a man because i am a virgin... there i said it... finally...
    i hate it actually....
    sorry i know you have your own bad experiences with this stuff, but i just need to vent it"

    today:

    i woke up at 3:30am in a cold sweat and kept playing over my performance in the assessment centre the other day.. and the fact a "friend" tagged me on facebook that basically joked saying i was actually gay with a friend of mine... bloody joke gets old... both he and this other friend are not single and i cant stand it. Feel so shit by comparison.
    got to sleep at 5am... so i kinda know where you are coming from.
    I am at a cafe getting breakfast because i woke up in the middle of the night.. at uni this morning.. 2nd last week coming to a close.. chiro this arvo as well..
    really not liking life atm

    later today:

    The feeling less of a man stems from this for sure. I've thought about
    it recently and i think it's because of the influence certain
    individuals have had on me growing up after school finished. I had so
    much religious crap forced at me in high school about sex being only for
    marriage etc. Then i no longer am religious because of the negative
    impacts it had on me and my mental health.
    I will eventually no
    longer be one but for now it just plagues my mind... curiousity mixed
    with low self worth.. but ive seen first hand the attitude of mainstream
    society and how it isnt good for people to view one another as objects.
    There
    is so much stigma towards virginity. But i guess when people find out
    that i am they are sometimes surprised. Then i get the whole 'tall guys
    have it easy' crap.
    But the problem for me is the image perception
    people have of virgins. You get judged. That doesn't help anxiety. What i
    also realise is that i would need understanding about my anxiety before
    sex. Or else I would be particularly nervous and or concerned..
    I just hate it really... i hate being an exception to the norm in so many aspects

    And i also told them that I have to prepare for tonight - being on my own every weekend and friday night

    2 people found this helpful
  7. Quercus
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    27 October 2017 in reply to HamSolo01

    Hi Mitch,

    You know what you need...

    What i also realise is that i would need understanding about my anxiety before sex. Or else I would be particularly nervous and or concerned..

    Understanding. Patience. Kindness and acceptance. There are women out there like that. You just haven't met her yet. Don't give up.

    To the rest... Stuff what they think. Easy to say. Hard to do. But true.

    At school my friend once called his best friend gay (a nasty word starting with F actually). I grabbed him by the hair and smacked his face against the bus seat (padded he was embarrassed not hurt). Screeched at him we expect that we expect enough of that crap from people who don't know us... But from a friend? That's not being a friend. That's being an ass.

    The friend lived in my street. He walked me home silently and then spoke.

    Him... I'm sorry. I am jealous of him. I lashed out at him because I was jealous.

    Me... Why? He loves you! You've been friends since you were kids.

    Him... I wanted to be noticed for once. He is funny and smart and popular and self confident and girls at school are mad about him with his long blonde hair. They don't see me.

    Me... stared and laughed. He is petite and the boys at school call him names endlessly and he's never included like you are. He's not sporty like you. You have what he wants... To be accepted as part of the "blokes".

    Him... Huh? Really?

    Me...You owe him an apology. Plus there are plenty of girls who notice you dumbass. Want their names?

    My point. People are jerks. Usually because they put others down to feel better or to build themselves up.

    You've never had sex... So what? I've never kissed another woman. My friends think that is weird. Part of uni is about experimentation and fun they say. You haven't lived!

    I snort and think yeah experimentation at uni was so much fun (sarcasm) that's what got me into the whole experience that led to rape.

    You and only you have the right to decide what it means to you to be a man. Just like for me only I get to choose my actions and what I do and don't want.

    Sorry this sounds aggressive not in a good place either. Take care of yourself please.

  8. swtpotato
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    27 October 2017 in reply to HamSolo01

    Hey mitch,

    I hear you.

    I think I myself have written in my journal somewhere; feel like a loser, virgin, weird... I hated myself because I believed something to be deeply inherently wrong with me.

    Which turned out to be bullshit. I don't believe there's such thing as something being 'inherently' wrong with anyone. There are flaws we must accept, but nothing we cannot improve or change. I think everyone has inherent worth (just doesn't mean I have to like them..)

    I'm in a much better place now. I put myself in new and different experiences and started finding out who I was from that. Sure, I used to be quiet, boring, confusing, irritable, dramatic... but I was me and that was enough and I forgive that person. How could I not forgive someone for not being 'fun' when fighting a serious mental and physical illness?? It seems crazy now. I didn't have to change absolutely everything about myself in order to like myself, like I had thought at the time.

    I think this is possible for you.

    It sounds like you know part of why you think/react the way you do.

    There is a lot of anger and hurt towards yourself. A lot of anger at society's expectations. You have strong values and opinions. I hope you keep writing it all out somewhere, like in a journal. Exercise it out, vent it out. There is value in it. It makes sense.

    What is happening with the treatment/therapy situation? It seems like you are in need of a structured routine which gives you real gradual progress.

    Can you think of anything you could try differently here that may help you? Help us help you more?

    m

    1 person found this helpful
  9. HamSolo01
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    28 October 2017 in reply to swtpotato

    hey nat and swtpotato

    thanks for your help and advice

    nat firstly thank you for sharing your story. I did not know that you have been raped before. Thank you for being able to share it with a sense of hope all for benefitting me. That tells me you are a really great person :) (but we already knew this)

    I really like this bit: What i also realise is that i would need understanding about my anxiety before sex. Or else I would be particularly nervous and or concerned..
    Understanding. Patience. Kindness and acceptance. There are women out there like that. You just haven't met her yet. Don't give up.

    where you quoted me and spoke more about it. You hit the nail on the head. Giving up is the worst possible choice so long as I don't give up then it's okay right? and what i have also noticed is that there are plenty of fish in the sea. The reality is that I simply haven't been fishing enough yet because i don't think the fisherman is all that well (code for working on my own self). I did join tinder again but I am feeling like this won't be effectual. I actually think the way it is programmed has changed in such a way that you basically need to pay to get more matches.. they basically control it through location.. so it's possible that there are matches that only match when the software detects BOTH are paying users.

    quick little anecdote about tinder.. i once joined eharmony and got one person interested in me and i didn't really like her. Two months later I match with someone via tinder and then eventually add her on facebook... guess who her best friend is? yeh.. the girl from eharmony.. i was just so shocked that i had to laugh. I avoided that whole scenario but that's the universe taking the piss out of me i guess hey? shame too because this girl via tinder was super understanding about my mental health.. but i think i just left it too long to actually ask to hang out.. and the fact she was on the other side of sydney.. but maybe i shocked her away.. Who knows. It's in the past now.

    I also managed to push myself into organising work on melbourne cup day (Considering i will have 0 money at the end of the next two weeks). I hesitated at first and rang my friends boss with the intention of saying i couldn't do it... but then magically found myself organising it and it's set up now. Weird.

    1 person found this helpful
  10. HamSolo01
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    28 October 2017

    swtpotato

    this was really good and well written: How could I not forgive someone for not being 'fun' when fighting a
    serious mental and physical illness?? It seems crazy now. I didn't have
    to change absolutely everything about myself in order to like myself,
    like I had thought at the time.

    I agree totally. Why accept these flaws in other people and not ourselves? I always always always always always struggle with this.

    It's funny what you say about 'vent' it out actually because i have found a really cool app called vent. It's basically a less structured form of twitter. I post up about my own mental health issues and read other people's. Most of the people who use it are american but that doesn't matter because they are real people.. reminds what you said about everyone having intrinsic worth (but also not having to like them)

    the treatment and therapy situation is overall going okay. I will be seeing my psychologist in 2 weeks time. I have an appointment every 3 weeks now. It's the best course of action I find. Gives me a sense of continuity but also having to kinda 'fend on my own' if you catch my drift.

    This way I don't become too reliant on the appointments. But maybe that will change in the next few weeks once uni ends and i need to fill up my time with different things.

    Tonight i might be doing something but I might not. I don't see any urgency about tonight's activities that are planned with a new kinda group that seems to be forming. But I don't know how comfortable i am in it yet. Haven't made my mind up just yet about what is happening. Tbh I don't think I will find out because of the history I have with someone there. But whatever. I don't really care either way. I am kinda apathetic about the whole thing to be honest.Playing it by ear will be best.

    not too sure about what yous can do to help more. I think just keep checking in like you already are.

    I am admittedly feeling placid at the moment but that can change. Sometimes I will write up my thoughts and vent my spleen because this forum is an outlet for me. I don't ever want to push people away from it because of what i say (or what i expect out of it from other people). I guess that's all yous can do.

    do you have a forum on here too? (nat you too?)

    2 people found this helpful
  11. HamSolo01
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    29 October 2017 in reply to HamSolo01
    feeling pretty average today tbh..
  12. Quercus
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    29 October 2017 in reply to HamSolo01

    Hey Mitch,

    Yeah it's one of those days here too. I'm just trying to pass the time and keep my self together until I can put the kids to bed this evening and go to sleep.

    What works to keep you busy or distract you?

    Thanks for your reply by the way. I have a thread in long term support. Feeling well enough to find my voice again. Ha wish it was true today.

    Take care of yourself ok?

  13. HamSolo01
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    29 October 2017 in reply to Quercus

    hey there nat

    i have to write up 2000 words by tomorrow night for an essay.. my second last one actually

    i am struggling to articulate what my thoughts are so i am just dumping all this crap out onto a word document and it is starting to make a little bit more sense...

    It's all about how we now have 'global' problems that need to be deal with at a global level.. but naturally i disagree. I think these problems are localized but have global consequences.. (should include that in the essay)..

    So thinking about this essay is a good distraction actually. It's just been so hard to formulate my understanding and get resources... 2000 words is about 12 resources (And they can't all be ones from the course outline sadly) so i will do what i usually do.. write up a draft then hunt for resources that i agree with and incorporate them.. i really don't care because at the end of the day i just want to get this damn degree done (last week this week) and my mental health has been playing up non stop. I already have 2 weeks extension on it (which is why it is due tomorrow... not 2 weeks ago).

    I guess it's same old me putting more into it than what is needed...

    I didn't go out last night either. Took it easy because I was feeling VERY ill.

    Lately I just feel so out of touch with my own generation and all that crap...

    life is hard

  14. BballJ
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    29 October 2017 in reply to HamSolo01

    Hi HamSolo01,

    I just want to bring up something that you said earlier when you said you matched with someone on eharmony and then her best friend on tinder and said she was cool because she understood your mental health, are you pretty up front with people you meet about your mental health battles? I am in no way saying this is a bad thing as I actually find it quite interesting if you did, would really show some true strength in yourself.

    I read in your last post you didn't end up going out last night, was it ill from the mental health or physically ill? Hope you're doing better with way.

    We always accept other people's flaws but not our own it is because we are our harshest critic and we always think we should be better than what we are. In reality every day we are trying to become the best version of ourselves that we can be and in the end of the day, you are the only one who can control it. Yeah you may be a virgin but you know what, I bet there are many early to mid 20 year olds who are virgin's as well and just don't have the guts to admit it, your strength actually outweighs any weakness you feel you have in my opinion.

    I think have your course has concluded it may be worth getting out there a little more if you can and putting yourself out there, as hard as it is, challenging yourself is a good way to grow I find.

    Did you end up finishing the essay?

    My best,

    Jay

    1 person found this helpful
  15. swtpotato
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    29 October 2017 in reply to HamSolo01

    Hi mitch!

    Thanks for your reply to my post. I really like it when you reflect on things like that it feels nice to know you find it helpful/interesting.

    I have a thread in the long-term support section. 'existential and social anxiety: can you relate?'

    if venting works then vent away, and then go somewhere else and vent there too.

    I'm in the same boat with the essay! I have to write 2000+ words by midnight tomorrow... currently about to do an all-nighter. Interesting you say that about local-global. My essay is on dialogue between indigenous and settler philosophy -- which basically = localised, specific, non-hierarchal, non-homogenous, narrative-driven vs universalist, hierarchal, dualisms, technical/abstract focussed. this makes sense to me at least.part of it is saying the local is significantly overlooked. i agree with you about local/global problems.

    (also have 2 weeks extension but will probably still manage to hand it in a day late)

    so one more essay after this??!! just a few more hurdles (but i suppose many other different kinds of hurdles to follow after...but can always procrastinate worrying about that too)

    Glad you took it easy and looked after yourself.

    Yeah... our generation is completely absurd and makes no sense.

    Life is hard. Yep. That's why we gotta help each other out.

    good luck!

    m

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  16. HamSolo01
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    30 October 2017 in reply to BballJ

    Jay I'm rarely upfront with these things. The only reason I told that particular girl was because i deleted her off facebook but then added her again... idk why.. it was a spur of the moment rash decision. I was embarrased by the fact that I left things too long. That I looked like a weirdo and didn't know to handle myself. Which is basically the truth. I ended up being embarrassed about being embarrassed. Also because I never had a proper job earning money or anything like that - she wasn't a uni student so probably didn't really understand.. See how i doubt myself a lot? I think it was best that nothing happened. I wasn't in a fit state of mind back then. I doubt that I ever was tbh (which is what the tinder experience was like too). I get really self conscious when it comes to romance and dating culture. I genuinely don't like the way i look and feel about myself (on two levels) and hate the fact that I am not conventional enough to 'fit' in because i don't have enough money and all that. Earning nothing is not attractive.. no matter what anyone says. That's a simple fact it would seem.. if you want to fit in with the conventional anyway.

    I didn't go out because of my physical health yes. Was too sick. Whenever I am sick like that I get worse off. It was a bit of mental health as well but then so be it. It was because I was sick.. sniffling and sneezing and feeling flu like is not fun.

    "I bet there are many early to mid 20 year olds who are virgin's as well
    and just don't have the guts to admit it, your strength actually
    outweighs any weakness you feel you have in my opinion."

    You are probably pretty accurate there tbh. I still stand by my own decisions.

    I am planning on working on melbourne cup day so that is step one in putting myself out there a bit more. I will also start researching and putting out 'feelers' for potential plan b's in the case that the govt graduate thing doesn't go ahead. It's all a process.

    the relationship thing.. still hangs around. But what I begin to realise is that it doesn't have to be localised. If i end up going to Japan i will meet people from all over the world. The world is bigger than my experience thus far. That gives me hope for the future of romance lol.

    For now though I think i might be developing some new friendships in a new group but idk. I am just playing it by ear.

    Right now though I need to get back to my essay.

    thanks for checking by jay hope you are well otherwise :)

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  17. HamSolo01
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    30 October 2017 in reply to swtpotato

    hey swtpotato

    i will defs check out your post in the forums! as soon as i get a chance to

    "My essay is on dialogue between indigenous and settler philosophy -- which basically = localised, specific, non-hierarchal, non-homogenous, narrative-driven vs universalist, hierarchal, dualisms, technical/abstract focussed."

    Except I can't help but feel that the 'narrative-driven' is true for ANY culture.. All cultures have their narratives after all.. Food for thought though right?

    This sounds VERY complex haha. What I am getting from it though is that the local indigenous 'way of life' (if you can use that term) is not only different in its application to life, but on its core assumptions as well? Is that correct? Particularly on the case of non-homogenous and non-hierarchical.. That's what I understand those words to mean..

    I feel like this is turning into an academic thread haha. It makes up for all the classes i had that went nowhere haha.

    I am currently at 1080 ish words in my essay. I already don't like the way I've written so I will run this past you and make sure it makes sense.

    Basically, the question I have to do is on 'global governance' which is essentially mechanisms and operations at the international level. So things like law, declarations etc. Now, i have to distinguish between whether or not a strong state (hint USA) is good for enabling and securing global peace in the wake of global threats OR global governance is required. I honestly global governance is a load of garbage.

    Simply put, every mechanism in every international organisation (UN, WTO, IMF) is structured in such a way that it favours superpowers. Whether or not that is something we like is not the point - it is the way it is. So far I have written about how North Korea continually defies nuclear testing regulations. I am arguing that nuclear testing is basically the best way to assure the rest of the world takes you seriously as a threat. Iran is the same.

    I don't like to think of the badness and such, but I just write it in a purely objective way (or as objectively as i can lol).

    I am about to write about the global financial system also serving the interests of superpowers.. because the very practice of international trade and capital accumulation is backed by powerful nation states (like when the USA bails out banks in the GFC).

    So yeh... that's my essay haha. If you can help me SOMEHOW that'd be grand haha :)


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  18. BballJ
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    30 October 2017 in reply to HamSolo01

    Hi HamSolo01,

    Thanks for your reply.

    I understand why you ended up telling her, makes sense and you were trying to just explain your situation so she would understand where you were coming from which is totally understandable. I know you say earning nothing is unattractive but I think at the same time you have to understand and people do that you are studying, if you were not working, not studying, just sitting at home doing nothing then yeah that is unattractive but you are studying and you sound really smart too, what you wrote in your last post about your essay, wow I struggled to keep up with what it was about, sounds very advanced and I love politics and what not.

    I like your thought on going to Japan and meeting new people, the world is full of people you have not met yet and your outlook on that is 100% accurate. I have no doubt there is a future of romance for you.

    Hopefully working on Melbourne Cup also is good for you and keep working on the plan B, just don't let it distract from plan A.

    How did the essay finish up?

    My best,

    Jay

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  19. HamSolo01
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    30 October 2017 in reply to BballJ

    i havent finished the essay yet jay because i feel like i will do a better job by handing it in a day late and losing 2%

    i also just dont care too much about this stuff... i just want to move on with my life i guess?

    your point about not studying and just sort of sitting about at home is unattractive and i would agree with you 100%

    but then again, studying and doing nothing else is just as unattractive i would say.. i guess the point was that i wasn't happy with it.. but i will be doing nothing as of next week... so that's my life at uni done basically... tbh i feel like it was my best chance... but then i always found socialising hard..

    i feel like i have made the issue for myself actually... just because i was never able to fully accept myself and all that..

    whatever really.... idk i dont care too much for relationships at the moment... im not overly happy with myself and that is a bigger problem

    i just don't know what it will take?

  20. HamSolo01
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    31 October 2017 in reply to HamSolo01

    another friend has a gf now

    i hate it...

    i am just so over this...

    maybe im just to weird or something idk..

  21. HamSolo01
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    31 October 2017 in reply to HamSolo01
    i hate it
  22. BballJ
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    31 October 2017 in reply to HamSolo01

    Hi HamSolo01,

    That's just it but, you know you aren't in the state of mind for a relationship yet you get annoyed when a friend has a girlfriend, it just simply isn't your time yet and I know that sucks, I was at the exact same position in my early 20's, wondered if I would ever meet anybody, seeing everyone else have it better than me but then down the track I met someone and it changed my perspective, the amount of girls I chased and to no avail as well, always just the friend. Your time will come my friend, it will.

    However until you are 100% happy with yourself you cannot be with someone else because you won't give them your all. If I asked what some things were you would like to achieve by Christmas, what would you say?

    My best,

    Jay

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  23. james1
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    1 November 2017 in reply to HamSolo01

    Hey mitch,

    I think you hit it right on the head when you say feel like you've made the issue for yourself. That's not to say it isn't real - it is very real - but often when we feel let down, upset and dissatisfied, we start reaching for reasons. And often that reason becomes, 'I'm broken.' Unfortunately, doing this just strengths our depression and damages our self image.

    You talked about how you found just studying at uni really unattractive and how it was your best chance at something, I think you mean getting a girlfriend? Since this hasn't happened, you feel like that's your uni life done and dusted, and there'll be no more future chances because, as you said, you're 'too weird'.

    We all fall into the same trap of blaming ourselves or thinking we're broken or weird somehow.

    But as Jay mentioned, these things happen and then something else happens and our perspective changes. Sometimes this change comes out of nowhere without us doing anything, but mostly it takes a lot of hard work to stop reaching for the automatic 'I'm broken' reason, and look elsewhere. Each time we grab onto that automatic reason, we damage our self image. Our goal is to change that. How else can we beat depression unless we think we're not broken?

    Like Jay, I'm also keen to know what kinds of things you'd like to do by Christmas. You mentioned working on melbourne cup day? I think that's awesome. You've also go those applications going which is a huge step forward too. Any more you'd like to submit this year or even next?

    James

    1 person found this helpful
  24. HamSolo01
    blueVoices member
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    HamSolo01 avatar
    891 posts
    2 November 2017 in reply to james1

    Hey Jay and James

    Thanks for your posts.

    The past two days have been interesting. On the topic of dating and romance, i have managed to speak to two girls via tinder. I'm not putting too much on it because it's tinder after all. But I guess I just want to try talking to them and see what happens. Just to kinda build my confidence. If I can get a date then that's good too. No reason why it has to be a relationship. I feel like that would help. What I am learning is that everyone is different, but I have slowly begun to accept that I am too... it's not a bad thing at all in fact.

    It's settled too. I have a plan B - teach english overseas somewhere.

    My last exam is on the 17th and I have my last day of uni ever on tomorrow.

    I have 2 essays (one in the process of being written) and another one the way.

    I am thinking of applying for basic jobs once Uni is done and dusted. Or maybe I will just try to get some more students and chill til christmas. I will figure it out. But for now I need to keep on task with finishing uni and keeping the balance.

    Diet, exercise and sleep are the 3 things I need to concentrate on for now. I managed to go 4 times last week. Went today after not having gone for a while. Because of my body type it takes a while for me to build up strength and muscle but the trick is to eat more calories. I struggle with that because of depression - which suppresses my hunger. But I just need to gradually increase my weight that I lift. I have noticed I am looking a bit better too. Nowhere near as skinny as I was back in high school which is good. That's what I wanted. After those really 2 bad days earlier in the week I have brought my appointments forward to earlier times as well.

    I've also tried to cut myself a bit more slack.

    I am about to finish uni and that is an achievement. I will miss it, but I can see that there is a need to move on. The world is really big and I'm bound to find a place in it. Whether it is accepting the graduate role OR going OS to do English. Either is good. I saw a careers advisor and uni and she was really good too. Told me that they still offer help after uni finishes. Pretty good deal I think.

    2 people found this helpful
  25. BballJ
    Community Champion
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    2037 posts
    2 November 2017 in reply to HamSolo01

    Hi HamSolo01,

    Amazing post. That was great to read, I have said it before when you are seeing things clearly there really is no limit to what you can achieve. You now have a plan B which is great, never let it distract from plan A however and things will be ok. I am glad to read you also met a couple of girls on Tinder, it is good not to expect too much from it and just take it as it comes. It is a great confidence booster.

    You hit the nail on the head as well when you said there is a place in this world for you, damn right there is and you just own whatever place that is and be the best version of yourself you can be. No one can stop a determined person.

    Congratulations on finishing uni as well, it is a great achievement and I am glad you are proud of it as you should be. You earned it all.

    With mental health, diet, sleep & exercise are the most important things to help clear the mind and the more you can do it I think the better you will feel.

    One thing I think you should be super proud of is the fact you came to all of these conclusions on your own with your psychologist's help. You bought yourself out from the bad start to the week. Great stuff.

    My best,

    Jay

    1 person found this helpful
  26. HamSolo01
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
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    891 posts
    4 November 2017 in reply to BballJ

    a bad start to the week was topped off with a cracker ending

    finished uni on a high and also got my first kiss

    she was a friend of a friend who organised going to the end of year ball at uni..

    i just found her cute.. idk.. we hit it off and got drunk.. danced together and i walked her back to the hotel

    then on the stairs i planned it.. by carrying her shoes i had to give them back and this happened:

    me: "do you want your shoes back?"

    her: "idk.. maybe i dont want, them do you want them?"

    me: "maybe i want something else"

    her: "maybe you do"

    and she lent in and i did too and we smooched lol.. then i said "thats more like it"

    then i told her it was my first kiss.. and she was shocked a bit.. then i asked her about hers.. she told me.. then we hugged a bit and kept talking crap lol..

    then we said we had to go on a date.. so yeh.. thats a crazy week lol

    2 people found this helpful
  27. Quercus
    Champion Alumni
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    Quercus avatar
    3557 posts
    5 November 2017 in reply to HamSolo01

    Hi Mitch,

    Thank you. How lovely to come online and see you happy and enjoying yourself. I hope the cheerful mood sticks around for you and you can organise your date soon 😊.

    Congratulations on finishing uni! It is a massive achievement!

    Nat

  28. swtpotato
    swtpotato avatar
    262 posts
    5 November 2017 in reply to HamSolo01

    Hi Mitch,

    just a quick note to say congrats with uni and I’m so glad it went well with that girl

    huge news!

    very smooth

    m

    1 person found this helpful
  29. james1
    Multicultural Correspondent
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    3038 posts
    7 November 2017 in reply to HamSolo01

    Hey mitch, aren't you a cheeky bugger? lol.

    Love it.

    James

    1 person found this helpful
  30. BballJ
    Community Champion
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    BballJ avatar
    2037 posts
    7 November 2017 in reply to HamSolo01

    Hi HamSolo01,

    Awesome stuff mate, great to come on here after not being on here in a few days and just seeing great news. First kiss is always awesome and it sounds like it was great.

    Hopefully you have a date with her soon.

    My best,

    Jay

    1 person found this helpful

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