Two years it's been since I joined the forums here.
A lot has changed and yet much has stayed the same. I believe that life is like this.
In terms of where I was, where I wanted to go back then and where I am now I think it's fair to say that there is a heap of different things have eventuated that I never would've foreseen.
Words are strange things, but sometimes they aren't enough to express a raw feeling.
Presently I am looking for work. That is my main priority. I managed to get a role with the elections in my state a few weeks back. So that was good, except it was temporary. But, it still counts.
I also reached out to an old colleague who more or less, over stepped the line when providing feedback on something I did. I was basing what I did off of very vague instructions and I thought I did my best - only to be told otherwise. I think a mark of how my attitude has shifted was found in my response. I didn't respond right away. I let myself sink in and then process what was said. I even haven't read it in its entirety. This is because I don't want to read it with a bad mindset - where small things become big things. Not worth my emotional effort really. But this new level of self control is something I'm happy with.
In terms of dating and relationships - I'm not bothered as much as I was. Since my post 2 years ago I've been on a couple of dates and learned some things about myself in the process. Now though I have shifted focus to my careerpath. I want to figure that out.
I've learned to silence the bulls*** i hear about sex and relationships. Most of it is cheap. Built off the notion that I should feel inadequate. It's silly. I have no time or patience for it. I chose to focus on what matters.
There is a beauty to life that I haven't appreciated for a while. Recently, I sat outside and watched the sunset over the hills opposite where I live. I just sat there and thought about everything from the past and where I am now. It was beautiful. I nearly shed a tear lol. I imagine if i had some music by Hans Zimmer then I would've.
I think that focusing on the direct, the physical and the tangible has really helped too. What do I mean by that? Well by eliminating the concerns of the vague and the conceptual I have redirected my attention to the things that matter - friendships in real life, family and the things I care about. Priorities I guess?
There are still challenges for me now. But then this is a sign that things have changed.