I saw him yesterday and the day before, and things were fine between us, but I am still scared that he is a bit wary of me, and not as close as we used to be.
What happened that day was this:
I wanted to speak to him after our performance like I always do, so we went out to a couch area and sat down. He told me he didn't have much time because he needed to catch a tram or a train (don't remember which) and they only ran every hour, he also didn't want to leave our other friend waiting (whom was catching the train with him). He told me not to be discouraged by that, and to still tell him what I need to say. So I told him that he lied to me, when he told me he'd help me do something, and I asked him if he would forget, and he said no, and then the day comes when it was supposed to happen, and he never brought it up. I knew he didn't forget, because this thing mattered a lot to him, as much as it mattered to me, and he wanted me to get better. So I told him he lied to me, and that he didn't do it. He said he couldn't force me to do anything. So I got angry ( because he always says that, and I feel like it's an excuse, but I know I am overreacting) and told him he couldn't force me to live either and to stop trying to. His voice got very quiet and hurt, and he said "You know everything I do for you is to help you". So I told him to stop helping me. He didn't reply and just looked really tired, and fed up and he put his head in his hand. I stood up, and grabbed my bag. Then we both left silently. I used the walk down the stairs to calm down, and by the time we got out of there, I apologized. He said you don't have to be sorry. Then he went to leave. I said "i..." (it was like an attempt to say something, but my voice decided not to work and I decided not to say anything). He goes, I would give you a hug, but you don't like your mum seeing you. I said I didn't care. So he hugged me, for a very short time, and then left. Our hugs are usually longer, or so I thought, so know of course I am scared he hates me.
Yesterday, I didn't get a very good hug either, and it was only a goodbye hug, because he used to hug me when we met, but not any more.
The day before that, I did get a better hug, but i'm wondering if it were going to be similar to out normal ones had we not had to go on stage a few seconds later.
I don't know what to think. I think I'm over analyzing everything.