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Forums / Long term support over the journey / Not in a good space

Topic: Not in a good space

  1. golden82
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    6 February 2022 in reply to Paw Prints

    That's a lovely story Paws. It is nice to take our minds away.

    That's what i was going to mention Katy; these times are tough and what i have found can help is to avoid the news doom and gloom - and instead watch movies or whatever u like reading etc. I think u do all this anyway; but even more important to keep peace in your life as best u can at the moment. Sorry for the loss of your cat. I lost a pet last year and the grief is huge. So the movies etc help for this too. Take care :)

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  2. Hanna3
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    7 February 2022 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy

    How are you going? A slump is understandable with everything happening and just losing a kitty...

    I did my first click and collect today for an electric throw rug to use here when I'm watching movies on the couch, this being such a cold place in winter. Then I read the terrible reviews about click and collect at Harvey Norman (where I ordered it) & figured I'd never see the rug or my money again - but home after a long day in another town today and they've emailed me it's ready for pick-up. Hooray, their store in this town has good reviews. I'm lucky.

    Sam is so scared of his groomer I now have to carry him into the salon and today he lost control of his bowels as well, poor little guy, but I'm really wondering if she's doing something to hurt him... Oh dear.

    We'll I hope you managed to get outside and feel a tiny bit better. Big hug. 🤗🐕💝

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  3. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    7 February 2022

    I think you’re right, Sleepy, that the whole covid weird is a layer of yuk on top of the poor MH layer of yuk.. add in poor cat cat layer of yuk, and well… here we are. Today started out ok and then just dissolved into tears and staring at the wall doing nothing. It’s now past 3pm.

    I really loved your tale, Paws. My ex used to tell me lovely stories when i was sad - in his Jekyll mode at least. I do, however, remain unconvinced that Woofa might galumph with grace (the rest was absolutely believable!). Sorry Woofa *kiss*

    What have I learnt today? That even being sad/mad and thinking (s) might be a good solution, does not give you the ability to pick up a cactus with bare hands. Hmmmph

    Thanks all for popping in with love, advice, stories, and general lovely humanness. Hanna, that blanket sounds great. Reminds me of Sleepy’s latest poem, which is really quite wonderful. Golden, I hope you’re managing all the weird ok.

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  4. Hanna3
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    7 February 2022 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Sorry you've had a yuk day Katy. I hope tomorrow is better. Sometimes all you can do is get through the day and survive.

    Yep going to bundle up me and Sam in a heated throw and veg out on good movies on winter evenings! U3a classes and everything else like book groups etc still cancelled. This is the third year running !!!!

    I did actually get to shop in the mall the other day, that's been almost impossible for two years now. Things are easing a bit... Two years ago when it started and everything shut down it was freaky and bizarre and then we got used to it.. And it got soooo boring. Everyone has face acne from wearing masks!

    Are you well away from the fires over there? It looks terrible on the ABC news tonight. What an awful summer.

    There are lovely place names in the countryside here: Mary's Lane (a little dirt track going up a lovely hill) (I can just picture a lady in Victorian clothing and a parasol strolling along it a century ago) Pretty Plains (speaks for itself, and they are pretty, between rolling green hills) , Winterwood. I must detour around these lovely places one day soon instead of driving past. I think I will spend a sunny Autumn day meandering...The hills are astonishingly beautiful as I drive up the Alps here. Seems wierd it was the sea and now it's rolling mountains. It's really amazing to be alive sometimes. Don't lose sight of that fact...

    Big hugs 🤗🌳🏞️⛰️🌄

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  5. Guest_1643
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    7 February 2022 in reply to golden82

    Hi all, lovely support from lovely ppl

    I hope u get some self care time and feel better 💓

    I was so scared when covid amped up here, I know it's very heightened overall these days, hope u are OK x

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  6. Paw Prints
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    9 February 2022 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hello Katy, wave to everyone,

    Now then Miss Katy.... repeat after me

    A Cactus = Big Ouchies!!!... A Cactus = Big Ouchies!!!... A Cactus = Big Ouchies!!!

    I hope it wasn't one that has those super fine needle hairs that are so hard to pull out.... not that I'm admitting to having actual experience of such a thing... if Woofa suggested I did (whilst he was visiting) then he must have been mistaking me with someone else.

    It's ok to be teary & sad... kitty was part of your life... it is perfectly natural to grieve his loss... your grief will take as long as it takes... grieving him may also bring the grief of previous losses to the surface... I hope it doesn't... but that can be part of the process of grief... be gentle with yourself lass.

    Hugs

    Paws

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  7. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    9 February 2022 in reply to Hanna3

    Hiya

    Yeah it’s confusing - we’re “returning to normal” but we’re also not. Case numbers haven’t exploded over here, but the rules keep changing daily and it’s hard to keep up.

    It sounds like you’re getting out and about a bit Hanna, and you’re obviously feeling comfortable doing so, so it’s a shame that a lot of things are still cancelled. And yes, it’s fabulous we can still enjoy nature, there’s always that. I wish I had a reliable car and could afford petrol though. It’s been so long since I’ve driven south to the gorgeous beaches down there. I do like the sound of Winterwood - perhaps you need to save that one for a cool weather adventure.

    Well I got a nice card in the post from the vet today, so that was thoughtful. Because kitty was so weak and I couldn’t get in the shed to get his carrier out, I took him to the vet in my washing basket. My girl cat has decided it’s where she likes to sleep now, which is quite sweet, but I’ll need to go buy a new basket for the washing!

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  8. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    10 February 2022 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hello

    Looks like we cross-posted, Paws. Yes, the big ouchie cactus had fine needles that looked ok to handle. It was not ok.

    I’m worried about my other cat. She’s also very old. She had a fit again this morning, so I suspect that her condition is no longer being sufficiently managed with her special diet. She is 17/18, and my boy was 18/19, so they’ve done well. I’ve booked the vet next week, knowing the likely outcome.

    Stormy’s legs are also bung, so I feel it’s all a bit tiring - mentally.

    I think I’ll sit outside with a book if I can concentrate. At least the weather is amazing - a delicious sunny 29.

    Katy

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  9. Hanna3
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    3624 posts
    10 February 2022 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy,

    I have been out today and am only just here briefly now and saw your posts. I'm sorry you've having to go through all this with your pets, it's just the hardest thing. The vet practice here sends a card to people who have lost their furs, I think it's a nice gesture. Maybe the hot weather you've had has made things harder for the pets - I know Sam and I both suffer from the heat badly - today is baking and it's going to be like this for at least a week - I have to keep Sam fairly quiet. You've had terrible temperatures over there from what I've seen on the news...

    I'm just back from music via the Op shop where I got a couple of books for a couple of dollars... now have to take Sam out for a paddle in the river. Was out for ages last night with a lovely nurse I met a while back, she has two kids but is on her own otherwise, so we get chatting a lot and are going to catch up at a cafe when general busyness with her children allows.

    I think distraction with a good book is a wise idea. And yes, I think I'll check out lovely places like Winterwood when the autumn is here and all the trees are green and gold, it's so beautiful then, the colours are so vibrant!

    I'm glad you are at least having a break from all the study. I hope you and Stormy get to the beach and enjoy yourselves.

    I got a decent carry-all at the Op shop for ten dollars, retail I know the brand it would have been around fifty dollars, and it looks unused, hooray. I hate paying lots of money for things like handbags as I have no interest in them, they're just something I need to carry stuff in!

    Music is still mask wearing, in the hot weather it gets tiresome but we're stuck with it. Nice to see the kids back in school uniform, we didn't see this for a couple of years here. Mostly they seem happy to be back mixing with their friends.

    Cheers and hang in there, pats to the furs oxoxoxo

  10. Paw Prints
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    10 February 2022 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hello Katy,

    Oh Katy lass... I'm sorry to hear girl kitty is so unwell... plus the worry about Miss Stormy...

    Sending you gentle hugs... here if you need someone to listen

    Paws

    1 person found this helpful
  11. Hanna3
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    3624 posts
    11 February 2022 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy

    How is your cat, poor thing. I hope she hasn't had any more fits. Sam used to get occasional fits in hot weather when we lived on the coast, it's so frightening when that happens!

    I'm sorry when I posted before I missed where you mentioned it..

    I'm wondering if it's partly the hot weather to blame, it's hard for the animals.

    I got Sam a cool mat from Bunnings, I think I paid about $20 for a large one, and he loves it and stays on it as much as possible. I wonder if Stormy would like one...

    Let us know how you go with the vet.

    I'm sorry you've been having a rough time lately. Poor old you, time for some good things to happen.

    Hugs 💖🐕🍀💝

  12. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    12 February 2022 in reply to Hanna3

    Hello

    Another stressful day yesterday, as Stormy had a very red sore eye. The vet told me last time that she has eyelashes growing the wrong way and scratching her eyeball. He plucked them out under anaesthetic, but said it will happen again when they grow back. I just really can’t afford all the ongoing vet bills. Her eye looks less red this morning and she’s not closing it, so perhaps we’re ok for now.

    As for kitty, she seems ok and hasn’t fitted again. We’re in a cooler period so the weather isn’t a problem. And we do have a cool mat, not that anyone uses it, but it’s always out for them. It’s such a worry when they’re not well, and then not having money just adds to the stress. Ho hum …

    We had higher case numbers in WA yesterday, so I’m continuing to keep to myself. Today I might finish the weeding I started yesterday, and read some more of my book. I still can’t get into my shed for the wasps- I don’t want to harm them. Apparently when the weather cools they’ll go. Did you do anything about your bees, Hanna?

    Im reading Cloud Cuckoo Land, if anyones read it. It’s a bit fantastical, which isn’t usually my thing, and 3 stories interwoven, also not my thing, but the overarching theme of man’s violence towards nature, women and non-human species is my thing, and it’s all superbly written.

    I hope everyone is going ok and treating themselves kindly this weekend. Hugs to all x

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  13. Hanna3
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    3624 posts
    13 February 2022 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy,

    Sam and I both had a rest day yesterday we were both so tired after some hectic days, and looks like two weeks of full on heatwave ahead after days of cool weather, rats.

    I feel your pain about the vet bills, I have the same problem and it's stressful. I hope Stormy's eye is still OK now.

    I haven't heard of that book, I've been reading The Coddling of the American Mind, How good intentions and bad ideas are setting up a generation for failure. It's by Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt. A friend on the coast recommended it to me and I think it's excellent food for thought. I'm also reading a great old Australian classic, I for Isobel by Amy Witting, it's brilliant.

    I have had no solution about the bees as they are in the neighbour's garden and he wont do anything about them, the council said it is entirely up to him, so even though they are attacking and stinging sam and me, we can't do anything about them. The laws are ridiculous at times. Mostly now I take him out the front yard on a lead. So much for enjoying the back garden.

    I hope you are getting to the beach there and out and about. It's amazing the things you can't buy here due to covid - I got Sam a new collar but you can't buy a lead anywhere - tried to buy some new underwear but there is none available in the shops. Canned fruit is still difficult to find. Ah well.

    Have as good a day as you can there. Hugs. oxoxoxoxo

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  14. Paw Prints
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    18 February 2022 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hello Katy,

    I know you had your vet visit for kitty this week...

    Just wanted to send you gentle hugs

    Paws

  15. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    19 February 2022

    Hello

    I didn’t end up going go to the vet. Kitty has been fine, as has Storm, and I’m reluctant going out and about atm. But thanks for thinking of me x

    We’ve had some restrictions introduced here due to rising case numbers. Hopefully it won’t affect my fellow students graduating next weekend. I’ll be watching the live stream online, which will be exciting. This weekend I’m thesis editing, ready for sending off for hopeful publication in a journal. That’s also exciting. Fingers crossed it gets accepted.

    Hanna, I get what you mean about random things not being available. Food here is an ongoing issue as the rail network got flooded, and problems due to covid already meant food shortages. I’ve just done my third online order crossing my fingers for cheese lol. The last two I got none, and I’m not running around town looking for it. Dog food was supposed to come this week, but didn’t arrive either. Ho hum.

    Hope all’s well in the east. Not so overseas where war is imminent, and a storm of destruction has rained down on Northern Europe. Strange times…

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  16. Hanna3
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    3624 posts
    20 February 2022 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy,

    I'm glad you can watch the graduation on live stream at least. Do you pick up your degree later from the Uni? Then you can get it framed!

    It's very hot here, summer is going out with a blast. Supplies have improved but most specialised dog foods are almost impossible to get, tinned fruit sometimes hard, fresh fruit and veggie prices through the roof, maybe that's due to petrol costs I don't know.. petrol is through the roof too. It's hard on a pension. I did get talking to a guy who worked in transportation, he said everything is stuck in containers somewhere and the people who work transporting stuff, truck drivers, wharf labourers, are getting sick or isolation, so stuff can't be moved.

    Glad the furs are OK. Little Sam is feeling the heat. I had an hour's swim at the aquatic centre today, aiming to do that 3 times a week, it's good to be back swimming, I've always swum a lot but for nearly two years now it's been closed here due to covid, so now I have 3 vaxxes I am pretty safe there in chlorinated water. It feels good, I like zonining out while I lap swim.

    Good news about your thesis. We had a fun discussion at the dog park this arvo, as a guy in the pool probably about 40 called me Darlin, which I don't like, most of the women agreed we wouldn't call an older man Darlin. It was an interesting talk with some very smart women! Meanwhile the dogs lay around in the shade on the ground, it was too hot to run around.

    I'm debating whether to go back to Tai Chi again. I tried yoga once long ago, but the woman put me into a downward dog so much I slipped a disc in my spine and have never recovered fully, so that put me off yoga for life, but I used to do Tai Chi, so I may go back to that... Not enough women seem to do enough exercise here...

    Things re the virus seem to be settling down here, masks indoors and I will keep doing that, and we prefer to meet outdoors.. the pool is silly as you wear a mask in and out, but naturally swim without, which is when you are taking big breaths!! It's a relief to have things opening up normally after such long shut downs for two years now... It's been dreary.

    Hugs to the furs, and I hope you got out into the sea today. Must go and feed little Sam, he's exhausted after meeting up again with all the other furs. oxoxoxoxoxo

  17. Paw Prints
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    24 February 2022 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hello Katy,

    I'm so pleased to hear that Kitty has been going better... it is hard as our furs age & like us have more ailments as a result...

    It looks like you are getting another long spell of hot weather... I know Perth usually gets a sea breeze in the afternoon... do you get anything similar where you are?...

    I hope you have been able to take Stormy to the beach so you both get out & have some fun together... especially as you try to adjust to all the new covid rules...

    Woofa & I are keeping our paws & fingers crossed that your thesis is accepted... do you have any idea how long it will be after you submit it until you know?

    Nose bops from his woofiness & hugs from me

    Paws

  18. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    25 February 2022

    Hi Hanna, Paws, all

    Uni grad tomorrow, and it’s lovely hearing my friends all excited. I should get my certificate in the next fortnight - can’t wait! As for my article, I’m not sure how long that process takes. It may be accepted outright, accepted subject to amendments, or rejected - in which case it will then get submitted to a different journal.

    Sadly, my other kitty left us yesterday. I don’t really feel ok about it, and couldn’t sleep last night. I couldn’t afford the ongoing medical treatment she required, and feel like a rubbish human for it. It’s a different decision when $ are factored in, and I’ll need to make peace with it somehow. Also, it feels weird here now. Empty.

    That aside, some of my succulents have been loving all this hot weather, and I have some really interesting flowers on display. One is called huernia zebrina if you feel like googling - it’s another of the rotten meat smelling variety, but a fascinating little flower!

    Hugs to all, Katy

  19. Hanna3
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    25 February 2022 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy,

    I'm glad you can at least watch the graduation ceremony live! Is there any catch up with Uni friends afterwards? It would be nice if you could go to that, if there is.

    I am so sorry to hear about Kitty. I don't know how old she/he was, but that is such a hard decision to have to make, and as you say, draws on our feelings of guilt/inadequacy/being poor/love/what is best for our pet... stuff. I am fearful of that with little Sam, and the quiet house too... our pets give us wonderful companionship.

    After a time of grieving, would you consider another kitty? Maybe a rescue one - the vet here has little kittens all the time that are unwanted, and you can purchase them much more affordably than from anywhere else. I love watching them play when I go in to the vets, and I feel sorry for them in big cages instead of in a loving home.

    So enjoy tomorrow, and think yourself there if you can!!! Sending big hugs, and do let us know how the day goes tomorrow won't you?

    And don't punish yourself about Kitty - we always decide what is best for our pets, we love them so much - prolonged expensive treatment may still have resulted in a less than optimal life for her... such difficult decisions to make on our own, and when finances come into it, it's even worse. I am sure you have done the right thing.

    oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

  20. Paw Prints
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    25 February 2022 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hello Katy

    Here is a gentle comforting hug lass.

    Lass there can be no guarantee that the treatment would have helped kitty or... given her age... that she would have lasted much longer even with it... you gave her 18 odd years of love & care... that counts...

    Try to be gentle with yourself

    Paws

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  21. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    28 February 2022
    I think my poor Stormy is sad, which makes me sad. Yesterday I asked if she wanted to come for a drive, and she didn’t move. And when I give her commands she doesn’t listen.
  22. Paw Prints
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    28 February 2022 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hello Katy,

    I wish there was something I could say to help... sending you a gentle hug & ear rubs to Miss Storm.

    Paws

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  23. Hanna3
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    28 February 2022 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy,

    Is Stormy missing her companions? Poor girl.. I don't suppose there is any chance of you getting another pet for company for Stormy - I know, vet bills are a problem - and in my case, the special diet for Sam takes up any money I might have for new shoes or clothes - but what can I do, without the diet he won't last.. but it's hard on a pension... what about another kitty? Easier than a doggie.. otherwise, I guess poor Stormy will gradually get used to more time alone, but she does sound sad poor thing! Can you give her exrta cuddles and treats and attention?

    So how was the graduation ceremony, I am dying to know and I forget just which date it was I am sorry. Do tell us all about it if it has been and gone!!!! When do you collect your certificate? Exciting! So you have letters after your name now! I did know a woman with a PhD, she was in a shop and when she gave her name for a lay buy she had the title Dr... the saleswoman asked her what hospital she worked at, and she explained she was a Doctor of Philosophy, not Medicine, and the saleswoman was very indignant and asked why she went around pretending she was a doctor, as she wasn't a REAL doctor! Oh dear.

    Yes the news is all bad these days - pandemics, floods and war. What times these are. I know someone in Lismore where the floods are terrible, but no way of contacting them, and other people in Queensland, same problem. It's not happy times out there these days, I've been tempted to hide myself under a rock to escape it all!!!!

    I am reading a wonderful book by Martin Amis at the moment, a collection of personal essays, he is talking in one about his friend Christopher Hitchens (who had an enormous, mind-boggling intellect). When he was talking to some guy, this man said to Christopher, " I can't understand a word you're saying" to which Christopher immediately replied, "I'm not at all surprised". Ouch! I wish I could think up ripostes like that on the spot! I keep chuckling as I read through it - brilliant man.

    Any news re your thesis publication? How are you enjoying the time out from study? Does it drag or are you enjoying it? Any new or old friends around these days? You haven't had much time for a social life with study... I'm hoping things are on the up over there after such a hot summer too!!!

    Enjoy the lovely turquoise sea over there! Big hugs! oxoxoxox

  24. Paw Prints
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    6 March 2022 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hello Katy,

    How are you lass?... no pressure for a reply... just wanted to check in & see how you are doing since your kitties crossed the rainbow bridge...

    I hope you are getting out & about maybe on your bike or perhaps hitting the waves with Miss Storm...

    It still looks hot over your way... a lovely cloudy 17 with a cool southerly here... Woofa & I are both lapping it up after the humidity of the past week.

    Ear rubs for Miss Storm & big hugs for you

    Paws

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  25. Paw Prints
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    17 March 2022 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hello Katy,

    Just me... I hope you are going ok... no pressure for you to reply lass...

    Things have been very hard for you lately... I hope there have been some little glimmers of better things... like getting your certificate or hearing good things about getting your thesis published.

    I'm sitting with you in spirit... soaking up your lovely garden over a cuppa

    Sending big 🐻 hugs

    Paws

    1 person found this helpful
  26. Hanna3
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    19 March 2022 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy,

    Wondering if you are taking a good long break, or if you are returning? I hope it's a good break! Sending hugs from us here. oxoxoxoxxo

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