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Forums / Long term support over the journey / Struggling to go on

Topic: Struggling to go on

  1. Ggrand
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    6 November 2019 in reply to Tess2

    Dearest Tess..🤗..

    Please don’t apologise for not replying.....It’s really okay,

    Tess...sweetheart it’s okay to post here, that’s what here is for..if your constantly struggling with the same issues, do so..please...it helps to get get it out of our mind...My post and I’m certain other posts are also about same problems...So go ahead beautiful Tess..I’m here for you...Even just talking about anything gives me..some contact with others as I don’t see or talk to anyone else until the following Tuesday....except here..and it helps to know that people care...

    I don’t like mornings..if I don’t get up and do something within the first couple of hours..I then just lay around most of the day...I can relate to how hard it is to do get up do things....Then I feel bad with me..because I didn’t do things..it’s a never ever cycle of going round in circles....

    Its beautiful to hear that you have a supportive sister who cares about you and that you talk on a regular basis..That’s gold...Maybe your other sister is having a hard time mentally....Just my thoughts....Do you occasionally ring her and talk to her?....

    Please Tess..use here when you feel like it..to talk about your little or big triumphs..the weather..how your feeling..anything at all..because it might give you some relief from your mind..I know sometimes it takes me hours to write out a post...that’s an hour+ of getting out of my head...Tess...if your not feeling good mentally please don’t be shy of writing here...and if your feeling good mentally and have accomplished even the smallest of task...please also write on here...I’m listening and I’m sure a lot of other people are also listening only...

    I hope your day today is good...and would love to hear about it..if you feel to share..no pressure lovely lady....

    Sending you Kind wishes..with love and some hugs..💜🤗🤗..

    Grandy..xxx

    1 person found this helpful
  2. Birdy77
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    6 November 2019 in reply to Tess2
    Hello Tess,

    Grandy of course is right, it's absolutely ok to come here and talk about what's going on, even if you feel like it's the same old stuff. It can help to get things out of your head (says me, who hasn't been near my thread for an age 🙄).

    I can very much relate and have heard many ither people talk about feeling at a loss in the mormings and feeling better as the day progresses. Being in that new home, and maybe lacking the daily structure you were used to having contributes to that lost feeling.

    And yes, when you get up and start doing things, it helps you to feel better, but the problem lies in locating that elusive motivation. Sometimes i find forcing myself is the absolutely only way to get the ball rolling. Doesn't feel nice at the time, but it feels better later.

    I hope you are having a better time with your son, and not being yelled at. That sure doesn't help the mood either.

    Are there any ways you can think of to help your place feel like home? I am slowly making my new place feel more like home by gradually creating my garden here. It's helping, and it's awesome therapy.

    I hope you are enjoying the day even a little bit.

    🌻birdy
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  3. Tess2
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    8 November 2019 in reply to Ggrand

    Dear Grandy,

    thanks for the message. I have actually managed the last two days and been busy. On Wednesday I cleaned the house! Not very exciting I know but I even quite enjoyed it. I shall do a bit more today, in readiness for my little granddaughter coming for the weekend.

    on Thursday I went outside and swept and tidied up and planted some plants and that felt good too. Small achievements but needed to be done. I even cleaned the bbq.

    the only trouble is it all leaves me rather tired and aching.

    Today I shall bathe my doggies and move some plants later. This evening I may pop into the neighbours for a little while, they have drinks every Friday.

    We seem to have this outdoor plague of little moth things they come up from the grass, very annoying.

    i hope you are ok and getting on with that rag doll

    love tess

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  4. Tess2
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    8 November 2019 in reply to Birdy77

    Dear Birdy

    thank you so much for your post . I really appreciate the helpful and supportive message. As you may read in my reply to Grandy, I have been busy the last few days. It has helped and I feel a bit better about my environment as a result. It may not be beautiful but it is at least cleaner and tidier.

    I am gradually working on the garden and it is therapeutic. I can’t do too much as I don’t have much money to buy plants.

    Ah well never mind eh?

    yes, my son and I are much better now, that does make things much easier. I love him so much, but seem to irritate him at times. But I understand the frustrations he has too and try to be tolerant.

    Well I am going to get on and bath these dogs,

    i hope you are having an ok to good day, and thank you again

    tess

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  5. Ggrand
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    9 November 2019 in reply to Tess2

    Hello Lovely Tess...sweety Tweety...🤗

    I hope your both feeling good today...

    I really should clean my home..but I think I’ll wait until these dust storms are over with..It’s nice to hear that you kept yourself busy and enjoyed it...Keeps our thoughts away for awhile....

    Small achievements put together becomes a large achievement...well done with the planting of plants and sweeping out your back area...I bet it looks nice..

    A weekend with your little granddaughter will be soul healing for you..I hope you have a very enjoyable time..with heaps of good memories being made....I missed out on grandma..grand baby time..I am so happy for you that your able to do that...💜..

    How did you go bathing your dogs...I struggle to get mine into the water but once their in they seem to enjoy it....I hope you and your pooches had a splashing good time...Um..do you end up with more water on you then your dogs...I usually do...

    Enjoy your weekend Lovely Tess...I’m happy that your mind will be entertained by your gorgeous little grand daughter..

    Kind thoughts...with love and hugs💜🤗..

    Grandy...

    3 people found this helpful
  6. Birdy77
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    11 November 2019 in reply to Tess2
    Hello Tess, hello Grandy 😃

    How was your weekend with your little granddaughter Tess? How lovely to have time to build that special bond.

    Lucky you having clean doggies. I shaved my two last week, so they're looking a bit handsome, but i skipped the bathing. I am like Grandy and always end up just as wet as they are. Mine have this weird thing where they don't recignise each other after a bath? Like, I'll bathe one, then let him out and his brother will be all dominant and "who the heck are you?? I don't know you, what are you doing in my house???" Until i grab that one and put him in the water and he's the most miserable sad boy in the world.

    Good on you for tidying up your yard and garden, that can feel good. Like Grandy said, little achievements can add up to a a good feeling, even if it's a slightly good feeling.

    Did you end up going for drinks at the neighbours?

    How much area do you have to garden in now? I understand about mot being able to do much with limited funds. My neighbours and i swap things sometimes, i dug up some daffodils and jonquils the other day and left them on her doorstep, she gave me some seeds, my other neighbour gives me prunings of things and i stick em in the ground and see of they grow. Maybe you could start a trend like that? Free plants! What's not to love about that!

    I'm pleased things are better between you and your son. That has to help.

    Ok lovely ladies, i hope you're enjoying the day even a bit today. Maybe you're recovering after busy grandmama time Tess.

    🌻birdy





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  7. Ggrand
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    20 March 2020 in reply to Tess2

    Hello Tess....🤗..

    Im popping in to see how you have been managing...

    I was so happy to hear from you on mine..

    Are you okay..Tess...

    kind thoughts, sent with love and hugs

    Grandy...

    Grandy..

  8. Tess2
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    22 March 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi Grandy,

    thank you for your kind post, it means a lot to me. I have been very anxious and up and down. All over the place really. But I am ok . I am trying to get going on this lovely Sunday, but feel litttle motivation to do so. I really want to get my dogs bathed and their beds washed today, so I might start there.

    I hope you are ok and having a relaxing day.

    Tess

  9. Ggrand
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    22 March 2020 in reply to Tess2

    Hello Tess...🤗..

    Im pleased to hear that your okay..Anxiety really is hard to manage...My anxiety has been the same up and down..which causes me a fair bit of confusion a lot...

    I washed my dogs last week..after I shaved them...They have been hard to manage for me..They have beautiful long fur, but it has been falling over the house and it got to much for me..it’s the first time I shaved them..and the last..I hope you enjoy your time washing your dogs..Do you get as wet as they do...I do😂😂😂..

    I hope your day was good sweety...and you got to enjoy some of the beautiful autumn sunshine....

    Talk hear anytime Tess or mine..Please don’t hold it in..if you need to let go of some thoughts or feelings, I’m a good listener and try to help..when I can...

    Please stay safe and take good care of you..It’s really lovely to hear from you..looking forward to talking some more..

    Kind thoughts lovely friend..with my love and caring hugs..🤗💜..

    Grandy...xx

  10. Tess2
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    30 March 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Dear Grandy, thank you so much for taking the time to write here, I really do appreciate it. You have so much going on yourself.

    yes, anxiety is shocking and really restricts your behaviour and relationships.

    of course at the moment with all this covid stuff life is being made very difficult. I just hope it proves to be worth it. I am going along with it all, but am rather sceptical about a lot of the so called advice.

    i did wash the dogs, but now they need doing again. And they need clipping. Yes I do get nearly as wet as they do, but I don’t worry about it. It is quite fun.

    take care grandy

    tess xx

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  11. Sophie_M
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    20 July 2020 in reply to Tess2
    Hey Tess2, we are so sorry to hear about your anxiety, the loss of your stepfather, and your concerns about your son's legal issues. We imagine that being unable to attend your stepfather's funeral in person would have been really difficult. Hopefully posting on here and receiving support from the community will help you feel a little bit better about things, or at least less alone. Given what you're going through, we thought it might be appropriate to link you in with the following services:

    Regarding your loss - We'd recommend getting in touch with Griefline - 1300 845 745. GriefLine provides counselling support services free of charge to individuals who are experiencing loss and grief.
    Regarding your feelings of anxiety - If you would like some help finding mental health support, we would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals. We also have a list of anxiety management strategies (https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety/treatments-for-anxiety/anxiety-management-strategies) which may be of interest or useful to you.  We really hope that things improve for you soon, that some of the resources we've linked you are helpful, and that you find some comfort here on the forums. If and when you feel up to it, feel free to keep us updated on how you are. 
  12. Ggrand
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    20 July 2020 in reply to Tess2

    Hello Tess...

    Im sorry about your step father...Sending you my deepest condolences...and kind thoughts for you and your family...

    I think Tess, that if even you do go out, then able to wash your hands and change your clothes, and wipe down your groceries etc..That’s really good..and protecting you...

    The covid hasn’t really reached out my way as yet...Although we did have 4 in hospital that was on the ship...I’m okay with isolation and it made it easier for me to shop early morning, sometimes I was the only one in the shop..but not now it’s back to being busy...

    COVID..I think has heightened everyone’s anxiety, especially with all the new rules that’s been put into place...Im pleased that your doing all you can to protect yourself and your family...Once it’s been put under control and life goes back to normal...which I think it will..We can all be proud of ourselves for doing our best to control it...

    Tess...sweety...Sophie has given you some really helpful links..The anxiety strategy one has some good ideas on how to try managing anxiety...If you feel up it..maybe you could give it a read....it might be helpful for you...My candles are my main go to...or sitting outside when it’s not to cold..I read on mine you knitted a beanie..well done...I like knitting as well..my tension is all over the place with both knitting and crocheting...It takes a lot of motivation for me to do it...As you probably know anxiety takes away our concentration at times...so keeping focused on what your doing is good and hopefully gives your mind a rest from the constant thoughts...of anxiety..

    How is things going with your son..I hope he is being kind to you and helping you with your mh..

    I need to wash my dogs again...too cold atm...probably give them a dry shampoo until the weather warms up...

    Keep talking here Tess..whenever you feel like talking..or letting thoughts out of your mind..here for you when I can be...

    Sending you my love, care, and hugs dear Tess...💜🦋🤗..

    Grandy..

  13. Ggrand
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    10 September 2020 in reply to Tess2

    Hello Tess...

    It was so good to see you at mine..

    Tess...hun I’m always here for you either your thread here or mine...

    If you need to talk to someone, I’ll do my best to support you, the best I can...

    How are you feeling today...Not just words lovely lady..asking you from my heart..

    Hows you little fur buddies been going...last time we spoke you had just bathed them....

    Looking forward to hearing from you...no pressure, only when you feel up to it....

    My care, love and hugs..Dear Tess..

    Grandy..

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  14. Tess2
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    13 October 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Dear Grandy,

    thank you for writing on my post, I am sorry I have not replied sooner. I have been very up and down and highly anxious. I feel intensely sad and like I am missing life’s joy. And I can’t find it

    i follow your posts and what you have been going through. I really admire your integrity and how you keep going, no matter how you feel.

    tess

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  15. Ggrand
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    14 October 2020 in reply to Tess2

    Hello Dear Tess...

    That is okay about replying..I often think about you and wonder how your feeling..I was so happy to hear from you but saddened that your missing out on the joy of life..

    I wish I could help you find some joy, happiness in your life to help you...I still struggle with feelings of happiness..but I’m determined to find some somehow...

    Thank you for following my posts..it means a lot to me..

    Tess..honey when your feeling sad please write here and chat to us...We are friends and I miss you when you’re not here...Talking helps even if it is type talking..makes us feel not so alone...

    always here for you dear Tess...

    My love and hugs dear friend..

    Grandy.l

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  16. Tess2
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    14 October 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Thank you so much , your words bring me a lot of comfort

    tess xx

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  17. Ggrand
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    15 October 2020 in reply to Tess2

    Heel Dear Tess...

    I was wondering how your little fur babies are going..

    Mine are already feeling the heat and are laying on their tummies with their tiny paws stretched out...I took my rug up last week..and their are enjoying the coolness of the venal tiles...

    How are you feeling today lovely Tess?....always here when I can be for you dear friend...

    Much care, love and hugs..

    Grandy..

  18. Tess2
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    30 December 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi Grandy, birds and any others.

    It is nearly the end of the year, another one gone by and life goes on.i feel quite sad, as I have done nothing to lift my life and make things better. But now with a new year I do have another chance to try. To try to lift life for my son who lives with me. To be a better grandmother. To commit to other people and think less about myself. Which is essentially what I do, I don’t feel well” poor me” I haven’t got enough money I’m tired I want to die, “. And on it goes. I am so sick of myself.i do try to make things better. But I seem to keep missinf

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  19. Tess2
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    21 March 2021 in reply to Tess2

    Well hello Grandy and any others out there who may read this.

    i seem to have lost a lot of support here, but I will keep trying. Maybe it is because I am so down and gloomy at times, but I am not always like that .

    life is trotting along, I have up days and down days. My anxiety is high and u think worse than the depression. I try to keep occupied and look after my animals . It is warm here in the west so I am having a quiet day. Making dog food and cleaning up after having my granddaughter for a few days.

    i want to be able to help people here and be encouraging. So I have to be ,ore active here

    tess

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  20. Ggrand
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    21 March 2021 in reply to Tess2

    Hello Lovely Tess...

    Tess...dear friend..you haven’t lost me as one of your supporters..I’m sorry I didn’t see the post from December...

    I know how much you love having your granddaughter stay with you...aren’t they a beautiful distraction away from our unhealthy thoughts....I wish so much that I could see my grandchildren..it hurts that I don’t...I am just not up to driving my car so far to see them....and my sons are too busy with their jobs and trying to make a comfortable living for their spouses and children....I once read many years ago...that our children are only on loan to us...until they have the knowledge to be on their own....or find a partner/spouse and start living their own lives...

    Making dog food...now that sounds interesting....

    You have a beautiful inspiring way with your words Tess...You have helped and inspired me on many occasions when I could care less about life.....well done on your want of helping and wanting to inspire other here....

    How are you feeling dear Tess...yep, up and downs are constantly around us....and we will continue to fight our own battles in our head...hoping that one day..we reach the top of the mountain and stay their....instead of slipping down all the time...

    We can do this...because we are...”stronger then we think”..

    Much love and care dear Tess..

    Grandy..

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  21. Tess2
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    21 March 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Thank you so much Grandy, that means so much ..I have had a really last day, I am so tired. Getting old has it’s downside

    take care dear grandy

    love tess

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  22. Ggrand
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    22 March 2021 in reply to Tess2

    Dear Tess..

    True Tess..getting old does have its downside..especially the aching muscles, tired body..etc...I said similar to my Dr....She said as we grow older it shouldn’t give us aches n pains....Hmmmm...I suppose we sabotage our twilight years by working at heavy jobs while we are younger...

    I hope you slept well last night and feel a little better today...

    My fur babies got up to so much mischief last night..once I can find the right words to say about it...I’ll write about it on the pets gotta love them thread....it might give some other beautiful community members a smile or a giggle...

    Just wanted to pop in and wish you a good sleep tonight...

    Much love and hugs dear Tess..

    Grandy..

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  23. Tess2
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    22 March 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Thank you dear Grandy. What a lovely message. I felt really tired and down this morning but feel better this evening. I often feel better in the evenings. I think it is the relief of having got through a day without someone getting at me.

    How pathetic is that?

    i hope you are feeling a it better

    peri

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  24. Ggrand
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    25 March 2021 in reply to Tess2

    Hi Tess...

    How are you feeling?

    Like you I prefer the nights....The world’s asleep and no one will knock on my door....it’s more relaxing for me....

    No Tess not pathetic at all...it’s called living your best life...and that’s all we can do....

    I have a newish thread...”Small achievements you managed today”...it’s really very inspiring to read what other community members are achieving...no matter how small....Maybe you might like to join in and give some inspiration on what you achieved today......

    I hope your doing okay lovely Tess....it’s really lovely that you came back to us here...

    My love and caring hugs dear Tess..

    Grandy..

    2 people found this helpful
  25. Tess2
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    4 October 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hello Grandy and anyone else out there,

    i haven’t posted here in ages,. I really get the winter miseries and have not wanted to inflict that on anyone really. grey weather really gets to me.

    but it is starting to sun up over here in the west and the days are a bit better. But it is still getting cold at night.

    i have done quite a lot of baking over winter, and intend to do some today too I am going to make a lemon drizzle cake. It is yummy.

    i turned 70 this year, what a shock, it still stuns me that it is me that is this old. But every now and then I am reminded about it. Last week I had a bad fall onto a hip that has a replacement in it. It has been extremely painful, but is getting better. I didn’t fracture or anything, well I don’t think so, but the soft tissues are very sore indeed. Fortunately I am not frail 70, and not overweight so hopefully it will be ok. But it is lesson for me. I have a bit of a history of falls over the last five years or so.

    i still struggle with the depression and especially the anxiety, but I am hoping to get on top of them as the spring and summer roll in.

    the endless repetitiveness of daily life , well the weekly cycle sort of gets me down, when I worked there was always something new happening.

    I am not sure why people rave so much about retirement unless they didn’t like their work, or have lots of money to indulge themselves with. However we have to make the most of what we have don’t we?

    well, that is enough for now, I am going to try to get on with my afternoon and bake this cake

    tess

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  26. Ggrand
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    5 October 2021 in reply to Tess2

    Hello Dear Tess....hugs🤗..

    I really hope that with the warmer weather it will help with your depression and anxiety...I much prefer the colder months of the year, more peaceful for me...With summer comes the gardening, lawn mowing, cleaning windows etc..and of course the extra pressure put on me to get outside and walk....

    My best friend here in town..turned 80 in August..she has more energy then me...and is constantly doing things outside until early afternoon....I think in the 7 years I’ve known her, she has painted the inside of her home 3 times...and the outside once....She just can’t sit still...and she says..it’s what keeps her going....age is just a number...it’s how we feel within ourselves that count..

    I worked all my life until around 6 years ago...and I can relate to the drudgery of every day being the same...There’s only so much cleaning we can do...then what?...sit around and wait until it’s dark to sleep...then do it all over again...I try hard to do things I used to do....but nothing I do holds any interest to me anymore...Oh I do force myself to do what I started...but that doesn’t last long, until I put it away again....

    I am not at all able to cook a cake from beginning..I do maybe one or twice a year bake a packet cake...then it usually turns out dry with a burnt bottom...or half on it stays stuck to the cake tin 😂😂..When that happens I have the crumbling pieces with ice cream....

    I am sorry lovely Tess, that you have had a few falls recently...so pleased you didn’t break or fracture anything,,,Do you have one of those gadgets that when you fall...it alerts someone....Does your son still live with you?..

    I hope today is a nice day for you..and you enjoy your lemon drizzle cake...I haven’t tried that one...it sounds really yummy...I wish you could hand me a piece through the screen....,maybe in years to come, with the way technology is going...we will be able to do that 😂..how awesome would that be...

    My love, hugs and care beautiful friend..

    Grandy..

    1 person found this helpful
  27. randomx
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    7 October 2021 in reply to Tess2

    Hi Tess .

    Just passing through but l was surprised to hear you'd rather be working at this age. lt's just something that's been on my mind a lot this last yr or two and that l've been talking with a lot of people around here about .

    l'm 50s but with depression and the lack of mojo for anything much as well as often feeling l just don't cope very well this last yr few yrs. So l've been trying to figure out if l could and if l could , should l stop working , and which people have found better. But many here feel the same as you and to my surprise are glad they are still working and pushing through it. Others have stopped and managed to get Centerlink which l couldn't deal with myself anyway, but like you they're missing it a lot and wishing they could still work.

    lt's really surprised me , l always thought most people dream of retiring as early as possible l know l have myself too but these days it's more a need too, at least that's what l've felt lately. Still , maybe l'm better of continuing on- which l might not have a choice about money wise anyway bit early to say but never the less.

    Hi Grandy , just reading your reply too , so which would you prefer , to be be working then or not ?

    Best to all and l hope your feeling better Tess.

    rx

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