BP DAY 6 or more (snuck up on me) & Survival
oops did an allniter, went to bed last nite without sleepers, BIG mistake lay as ya do thinking, did have several past thoughts of hurt, maybe cause was talking bout it here but nowhere near like it use to, also the mind at bed time use to go into scenarios of arguing with people & strangers for gods sake but thats pretty much gone now, i guess stress release.
Didnt do meditation much mainly i forget & then the manias were wayyy stronger, more type 1 & as now concentrations never been a strong suit. The meditation psychologist told me was effective cause also rid mostly these old hurts being rehashed & i made my own up but the gist is your thoughts being moved away, interesting when i did it i was aware of them being in L) side of brain.
I imagined a tree huge with leaves, lovely surroundings but not much focus on that, in these leaves were the unwanted thoughts & a very strong wind blew the leaves away ahead & down a huge cliff into water that swooshed them away. WORKED. His was a train going fast taking thoughts away. Took bit of practice but really not much i wasnt/am at this stage able to focus long but think its down to allow thoughts but redirect each time back to.
Not down, this is the 2nd cycle doing the hard talk which havent done cone to think this time yet, big struggles other day but it gripped yes but didnt sink me which it tried.
If/when (optimistic but realistic too, it'll take work & more time I get through this doozy shame not much mania was scattered, 9think tryin to get it back last night) without harsh downs I'll definately be breaking through for sure, that'd be last two with downs but coping as opposed to previous hundreds nearly ALWAYS going deep black holes in hell.
I did a thread not up yet Understanding Depression...to beat it? a lot of repeats from here but new stuff as well. Hoping people jump in because I strongly believe collectively we/most can get on top
In mania I'm social anyway but you get moreso, being an extrovert i get stimulated & energy from people (pffttt most 😠) so the pump continues but it doesnt only get it that way. Just flows, pours more like
Tired but not because still mania with boundless energy tho not so bouncy atm but good.