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Forums / Long term support over the journey / Surviving: Being in a better place

Topic: Surviving: Being in a better place

  1. demonblaster
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    18 November 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    Weird but good it posted properly, thanks darl & so glad you reading it over. Please believe i mean what i say. Keep reading it till you believe those truths girl. A start to get on top of depression is believing & liking yourself, gives us confidence, a shield

    Its working atm yay (texting) have to take it in bugga it

    I think I remember you saying you have trouble talking about your feelings? Imo but maybe not for you its better to vent out even tho hurts but you are deeply paining anyway its not only slight release it also can put things into perspective. Know here you can talk as much as you like im here for people too esp friends i care a lot about 🤗

    I check & read your thread too

    I do like that in my heart & spoke to her out loud, who knows what goes on & she's through her wicked crap life outta no choice tuned into dogs non verbally & said about carrying her heart.You do a LOT helping re her believe me what you say honestly is helping me through, think bout her so often daily, lot of tears too

    Have you been in touch with your friends, i know youve been withdrawing a lot more.

    You're doing it so hard & you're there for so many. Legend

    Big love big care big souls back babe 🤗😚😊

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  2. Mathy
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    19 November 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    Hey DB,

    How was the cinema, and did you walk there? I don’t know a lot about BP, so I’m guessing that you’re fighting the good fight. It sounds very difficult, even though you’re experienced at managing it. I’m curious, are you taking medication? Sorry if I missed that point in your thread.

    Just popped in, hope you get some decent sleep, hugs M :)

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  3. demonblaster
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    19 November 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    BP DAY 6 or more (snuck up on me) & Survival

    oops did an allniter, went to bed last nite without sleepers, BIG mistake lay as ya do thinking, did have several past thoughts of hurt, maybe cause was talking bout it here but nowhere near like it use to, also the mind at bed time use to go into scenarios of arguing with people & strangers for gods sake but thats pretty much gone now, i guess stress release.

    Didnt do meditation much mainly i forget & then the manias were wayyy stronger, more type 1 & as now concentrations never been a strong suit. The meditation psychologist told me was effective cause also rid mostly these old hurts being rehashed & i made my own up but the gist is your thoughts being moved away, interesting when i did it i was aware of them being in L) side of brain.

    I imagined a tree huge with leaves, lovely surroundings but not much focus on that, in these leaves were the unwanted thoughts & a very strong wind blew the leaves away ahead & down a huge cliff into water that swooshed them away. WORKED. His was a train going fast taking thoughts away. Took bit of practice but really not much i wasnt/am at this stage able to focus long but think its down to allow thoughts but redirect each time back to.

    Not down, this is the 2nd cycle doing the hard talk which havent done cone to think this time yet, big struggles other day but it gripped yes but didnt sink me which it tried.

    If/when (optimistic but realistic too, it'll take work & more time I get through this doozy shame not much mania was scattered, 9think tryin to get it back last night) without harsh downs I'll definately be breaking through for sure, that'd be last two with downs but coping as opposed to previous hundreds nearly ALWAYS going deep black holes in hell.

    I did a thread not up yet Understanding Depression...to beat it? a lot of repeats from here but new stuff as well. Hoping people jump in because I strongly believe collectively we/most can get on top

    In mania I'm social anyway but you get moreso, being an extrovert i get stimulated & energy from people (pffttt most 😠) so the pump continues but it doesnt only get it that way. Just flows, pours more like

    Tired but not because still mania with boundless energy tho not so bouncy atm but good.

    Thanks 😊

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  4. Peppermintbach
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    19 November 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi DB,

    You seem to have great insight and awareness when it comes to your BP. Good for you.

    The all-nighter sounds rough. I hope you manage to get some sleep tonight (or some time soon). I have read on here about how important sleep is for managing BP cycles.

    Thank you, I really appreciate your ongoing and gentle support. As I’ve said before, your warmth and compassion really comes across in your writing.

    Yeah, I tend not to discuss my feelings at length. I tend to channel my feelings into other outlets like art, etc...I know you’re here for me and it really does mean a lot. Thank you...

    Yes, Starwolf has certainly seen a lot in her life (waves hi if you’re reading). I’m very glad my words offer some small comfort to you. I know you’re hurting a lot from concern and not knowing...

    Big soul hugs (plural lol)

    Pepper xoxo

  5. demonblaster
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    19 November 2017 in reply to Peppermintbach

    & thankyou Peps always

    Yeah & sleep for depression too, adds to stress

    Good of you to say re insight almost all psych related chain ive seen said same, helps to be able to work through by thinking it through

    Yeah i noticed you dont talk much here but glad you have an outlet or aid. Creativeness is a good one, satisfying, concentrating & achieving, i need to figure out how to get into my art regularly, i'll never make my big coin if i sit doormant, was so pumped about following through the list but was mania when if ya stay there youd do it but i'll get volition somehow. Do they sell it at shops 😅

    Got one of my beautiful special needs groups for tt tomoz then tt weds eve doc thurs think free for catch up sleep other days use to it, amazing how long we can go on fumes aye, got 2 hrs later this morn, went bed 7am ish all good atm its the other end be the test

    Ive started that above mentioned thread no pressure if ya interested big posts to start but i'll do shorter ones to follow some same from here but other too.

    I got a good insight on i think lifes passing me by thread about how youre doin yesterday so was good you dear girl, heartbreaking peoples pain isnt it, too much too often yours too

    Yeah Star wow what a survivor, shes like you only wrote when pertaini g to subject, i saw some of her posts when i landed same threads.

    I contacted mods again havent heard back yet but theyre busy as told them why im extra worried with couple of comments

    Ok dear Pepsy babe cya & thanks again for care & ongoing support & friendship xxx

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  6. Just Sara
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    19 November 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    Sending hugs and well wishes...

    :-)

    Sez xo

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  7. Peppermintbach
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    20 November 2017 in reply to Just Sara

    Hi lovely DB,

    You sound so energetic. It must be the Adrenalin; I’m sort of waiting for the emotional “crash” from the energy burst. I really hope you manage some sleep to cushion this cycle...

    I love how you want to get back into art. That sounds great. I agree it’s a fantastic outlet and self expression mechanism.

    I can definitely picture you working with the group you mentioned. You have the heart for it...they sound like really wonderful people. I bet they can feel your compassion. It’s one of your best qualities: compassion.

    I found this little snippet online. It’s supposedly the mantra for wolves but I’ve no idea who wrote it. I wanted to share it because it so reminds me Starwolf and her courage and wisdom. I thought it was quite fitting considering her username as well as her closeness and instinct with animals. I hope the words give you some comfort...

    I am wolf.

    Quietly I will endure.

    Silently I will suffer.

    Patiently I will wait.

    For I am a warrior.

    And I will survive.

    - unknown

    Love,

    Pepper xoxo

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  8. demonblaster
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    20 November 2017 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Hey dear Sez, Peps,Maths,Monkey, Starts & anyone else listening 😊

    Sez always awesome see ya hun thx dropping by, I know you're doin it hard atm sweet means a lot you popping in thanks chooky girl 🤗 back atcha

    Peps You continually blow we away, you're such a beautiful thoughtful (add to list) caring supportive & talk about compassion & thankyou so much for that & your words. Always appreciated

    Another im going to add to my quotes, thats perfect for Rock/Starwolf. Wow meant or what aye

    Zeroed in on target couldnt be better, thanks Peps, hey you cool with Pepsybabe? Ok if not, I'll just say it anyway 😅 soz warpo humour, ya grow that nursing to i guess lighten the hard parts of peoples suffering

    Thx i really do love these guys, back too which is rewarding, i really like helping people, want them to be happy

    Yeah hun this is reigniting, woke at 5 expletive 30am but got quality sleep, walked hills that adds to 😨 lol but yeah great atm this crash'll be a doozy but good test for getting through.

    The more i read of peoples pain the stronger my resolve to get through it & help others along the way & after too so win win.

    Love 🤗💖

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  9. startingnew
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    20 November 2017 in reply to demonblaster
    DB 💚💚💚💚💚💚
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  10. Peppermintbach
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    20 November 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi DB and all,

    Lol. You can call me whatever nickname you like. It’s all good. I don’t mind but thanks for asking anyway. You’re very considerate :)

    I’m glad that mantra/quote struck a chord with you. When I first read it, I immediately thought of Starwolf (waves hi if you’re reading)...

    Assuming that I haven’t misinterpreted your words, you’re saying you got some quality sleep despite the early start? If so, that’s fantastic to hear :) Wonderful.

    Your determination to manage your BP and struggles so you can help more people is beautiful.

    Gorgeous soul :)

    Love,

    Pepper xoxo

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  11. Mathy
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    20 November 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi DB (waves to Pepper and SN),

    Keep it going, you’re sounding determined and like you’re winning - on your terms.

    Did you get to see your special needs folk for TT? I hope so, that would be fun and a feel good kind of thing to do.

    I’m reading, but not always replying, keep it going chooky, big hugs, cheers M xx :) :)

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  12. demonblaster
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    21 November 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi you lovely peeps 😚 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

    One each & for RockStar, Sez, Monkey magic (Magic) & White (Knight) the kiss mmmmm, have to share that

    Starts darling, thx hun very pretty 💜💛💚💙💗💖❤💟💝's, welcome back sweet Also as Peps have missed you xx Thx dropping by always lovely to see you

    Pepsy babe 👍 thx hun ☺

    ? Mantra

    Yip you got it girl, ya get so stuffed as most here know when you do sleep it's comatose lol

    I do mean Peps so much appreciation for your boosting care & support, yeah darl I really do like helping people, at their worst I give my best thankyou from deep xx

    Maths my dear friend too 🤗 sshhh don't tell the girls you got extra sneaky sneaky hug. Our secret.

    & thankyou too darl for your friendship & ongoing support very appreciated.

    Yes, god I love these guys, have big plans for them in future tell yaz another time. They're a pleasure to be around without malice so pure. Easy to make smile & soooo rewarding seeing improvement in their game, everyone's capable of learning I think, & to be opening new chanels in their minds blows me away

    Peps & Maths Ohhh thankyous sooo much for jumping into understanding depression thread, thought gunna be doin it alone there, never much chop

    Starts when you feel up to it you may like to squiz hun No pressure truth.Get settled first

    Rock Star 🤗🤗🤗 xxx thoughts missing you, 😭, worry like you wouldn't bloody

    Biggly care lovelies

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  13. startingnew
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    21 November 2017

    always here for you DB even when im not here. my butterflies will take care of you which helps me too. i know youve been doing it tough but we will also help by holding you in the light (even when your eyes are shut) to guide you back up and out. sending lots and lots of hugs. soul hugs to be exact. feel the love coming through.

    ive tried to find the thread but too many different names associated with depression. what is the exact thread name?

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  14. Peppermintbach
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    21 November 2017 in reply to startingnew

    Hi lovely DB,

    Waves to Mathy, Butterfly and all :)

    That is wonderful. I’m glad you slept so well as you definitely needed it. Hopefully more sleep is helping you to regulate your BP cycles.

    Thanks, I couldn’t think of anything to say on the other thread but still wanted to show some support. I’m sure many people will find it very helpful. You have a very deep well of compassion.

    Here, let me help you wipe away some of those tears. I know you’re worried to your very core...

    Soul hugs,

    Pepper xoxo

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  15. demonblaster
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    21 November 2017 in reply to startingnew

    Understanding depression....TO BEAT IT ?

    Thx Starts darlin, hoping you & others get some help from it.

    Really like the holding in the light even with eyes shut, well said & beautiful sentiments, & yous don't like yourselves, if yous could look at yourselves from outside in you'd realise how lovely yous are. One of the biggly's to lifting up my girls

    Hopen you're settling in but allow yourself time as Peps wisely said that time in hospital, safe place adjustment coming home.I'll be over hopefully tomoz or nxt day xx

    Pepsydoo haha you'll be sorry you said I can call you any names thanks now I play, gotta amuse myself somehow 😃 Peps is nice though, I love nick names & abbreviations they're more personal & have warmth & of course easier & quicker

    What a caring loving girl same Starts, everyone has something/s aye that wiping tears & you're such a rock for me about rock, nah privacy fair enough but bugger it they can't give out info bout Starwolf (Rock) that's even if they know. Just have to wait and see I guess. It's hurting girls, biggly oops nearly swore then, medium naughty one. Guess continue on & hope but as you picked up on Starts she said she's at peace. 😭

    Yeah sleep & got heap today too, that's right hun should help with the crash, takes up to 3 or more wks recovery depending on how high & long this is long jeez better do BP diary too, tomoz

    Hey I'm stoked you went to thread all of yous your support speaks volumes about the people you are, many thx xx

    Heya Maths here's another great mate loyal supportive, lovely, doin it hard helping others what an amazing community & such good around I reckon 75% people maybe bit more are good, gotta stay & improve xx

    Thx for souls guys 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 spares ☺

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  16. startingnew
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    21 November 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    Ok DB will take a look tomoz maybe. Used a little too much brain power today on some of the other threads im on. Not on this thread a few others i was catching up on.

    Adjusting back is really hard and just have to remember to just breathe. Still recovering from physical illesses as well.

    Iknow it hurts DB and yes i picked ip quite alot from her last few posts and im hoping she or the mods can check in with some news soon.

    Soul hugs for you too and holding the torch for you 🔦🔦🔦💜💚💛💖💙❤

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  17. demonblaster
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    21 November 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    Good lady Starwolf there's others too I'll round up.

    Sapp ire said in her thread "I'm new. Unsure how to start"

    "Oh no I hope Starwolf recovers, she has been a great support to me on here and I appreciate her words of advice."

    That's exactly how it is with you. Easy to love & appreciate xx

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  18. Peppermintbach
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    22 November 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi compassionate DB,

    Your loyalty and love for friends really is very special. Seriously, you strike me as the kind of person who would walk to the ends of the earth (and then some) for your close friends and loved ones.

    Yes, Starwolf is very special. Her wisdom still lingers on your thread as well as many other threads. I hope for the best but no matter what happens, she will always be a warrior and survivor in so many people’s eyes...

    I’m very glad you’re getting more sleep. That’s wonderful to hear.

    Lol. Your latest nickname for me made me smile. All good, I understand that you use nicknames as a way to show affection so I don’t mind :)

    Soul hugs,

    Pepper xoxo

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  19. demonblaster
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    22 November 2017 in reply to Peppermintbach

    💖🤗☺😃

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  20. demonblaster
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    22 November 2017 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Haha glad you got a smile Pepsycola re name lol I needed to have a spaz for a bit, small things amuse small minds aye lol, boy this mind doesn't feel small in BP mode i tell ya 😁

    I so appreciate your ongoing support & care for me & how many others here too, generous good heart girl 💖 & what you're saying bout my pain for Starwolf is honestly REALLY helping beyond. Thankyou, crying but that's healthy & ok with that its a release. If I knew either way then could move through but limbo's got me grieving but with hope too. She's very concise & articulate so the at peace is the main concern soz repeating.

    Loving the warrior esp & yeah admirable her survivor achieve. People like her you can't not be in awe of & how she speaks, there's several here that I hope to learn to do same.

    You hit target often Peps ive read many of your posts in threads as I try to read others too & your strong maternal I think right word saying look after myself to. Touching thx, one of the many but harder things in BP is going to bed, 4 am oops but also the sleeps so erratic but need to adress it but use to it too, can hold up incredible amounts of time with BA.

    Other thing is this I'm passionate about want to be doing & it nourishes as well as helps me too, learning a LOT.

    No don't at all mind someone caring & looking out for me. Thankyou darling 🤗 & for your beautiful opening words.

    Now my girl onto you & Starts I'm not sure but think Maths is ok re liking themselves?

    Guys I wanna help yous believe in yourselves, like. The beast "IT" (Starwolf) wants us to dislike/hate ourselves!

    One of the ways to pull up & gain confidence is liking. We need to not go with what it wants cause thats South.

    If yous read back when yous can your posts to others (read lot of yours too Star) Try to read em not as yourselves but from outside & think about what you like about those qualities in that poster.

    Sermon over (souls 🤗 ) to RockStarwolf,& you beautiful good people that have given me time/friendship/support & list goes on

    Heart thanks

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  21. startingnew
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    22 November 2017 in reply to demonblaster
    My post has just emerged from last night will reapind to the rest later
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  22. startingnew
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    22 November 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    My post has just emerged from last night will respond to the rest later.

    have a good day everyone ❤❤

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  23. Peppermintbach
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    22 November 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    Hey DB,

    Your latest nickname for me gave me a little chuckle. Thank you :) Nah, you’re not “small minded” as you put it but just warm and comforting. I know you try so hard to lift the people around you...

    Yes, I completely agree that Starwolf is very special and that many people would agree. Knowing her and reading her words is a real blessing for all...the mantra: warrior and survivor.

    Thanks, liking myself huh. I don’t even know if I like or dislike myself sometimes so I don’t even know how to respond. Anyway, that’s my weird response...sorry, making no sense.

    Anyway, I have to go now. Catch up later.

    much love,

    Pepper xoxo

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  24. demonblaster
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    23 November 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    BP day 10

    oops went bed 3.30am 6am just goin back, couldnt sleep can't remember if took sleepers so gotta doc app bus so cant sleep long.

    Night before late too think midnight & before that witching hrs too but some day had big nanny nap

    Ok mood, having a lot of attempts at downs but not thinking much bout them helping,

    Gotta get some sleep

    Don't wanna be saying this but the down will probs be a doozy but gotta keep with the not havin it better attitude

    Nite nite but morning birdies starting love that sound, peaceful

    can sleep when get home hoping

    Read posts & liked (fb) them, will be back lovely ones xx

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  25. Peppermintbach
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    23 November 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    Hey compassionate DB and all,

    It does seem like you had a bit of a restless night, well, technically morning. Hopefully you do manage to get some more sleep after your appointment.

    Thanks for sharing some of your BP cycle insights and experiences. I hope it helps you by sharing and I know it helps some of us (e.g. me) to understand a little more about what it’s like for you.

    I hope it all goes smoothly at your appointment.

    Thinking of you.

    Pepper xoxo

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  26. Just Sara
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    23 November 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    Hey chooky DB;

    I know I don't come here often; I'm not dismissive of you, I just find it difficult to visit everyone in one sitting as well as post/respond to newbies.

    Letting you know I care...

    Sez xo (hug)

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  27. demonblaster
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    23 November 2017 in reply to Just Sara

    Ditto Sez chooky all the way

    Thanks lovely

    Good thread i reactive to anger i'll jump in when can

    Starts Peps bbl thx lovelies have read xx

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  28. Ggrand
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    25 November 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello DB and everyone else,

    DB just 😢😢😢 today but wanted to reply so I can access the thread easier. Will read from start when a little better

    Take care everyone.

    GG.

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  29. demonblaster
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    25 November 2017 in reply to Ggrand
    I know sweety replied on our main thread. Great you came in and no pressure or hurry or need if you don't want cause I"ll be mainly now working on depression thread take some stuff from here over and gunna keep using this as my BP Bipolar diary as well as some lovelies been popping in which is nice, you know Peps and Starts Starting new from other thread and Mathy's lovely too you might know them from Bocquet Pearls or Understanding depression

    Biggly care lady (( souls )) couple of suggests on other thread
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  30. demonblaster
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    26 November 2017 in reply to demonblaster
    Grandy (Starwolf/Rock) her Avitar has a Black Wolf, if/when you wanna read more here, highly recommend reading her stuff. Profound. She's a true survivor too, figured it out from really bad life as well and put the demons at heel. She's very sick, don't know what's going on, so worried, hurting hard missing her badly, she's a Community cChampion, highly respected as with the others too & supported so many
    2 people found this helpful

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