Hello beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...and everyone..🤗..

I’m pleased to hear that you went to the Dr. and will go back..Very good girl.🧸..

Deebi...Since I’ve been getting to bed earlier and around the same time..I’m feeling much stronger in my body..Please try both of you to go to bed at a reasonably good regular time each night..Truth honey..one of the first things my Dr. asks me is about my sleep and how long...it’s extremely important, our bodies get damaged when we don’t sleep regular hours..and even if we day sleep..it does fix the damage that lack of sleep causes us..it takes away our tiredness but not the damage to our bodies.....Sorry honey I sound like a busy body old grandma...but I’m concerned about you....because I love you..☺️..

I was lucky..monthlies finished for me at 46 no hot flushes nothing at all...stress caused me to stop early...I’m not complaining though...😂..It’s okay to go with your gut feelings as long as you get checked out by a professional..

I hope you and your beautiful love are both doing okay..well better then okay of course..It’s been a cold day here today bit of rain early..which left a brilliant double rainbow 🌈. the colours were amazingly bright..Suppose to snow tonight in bigger town...which means I will wake up to sloshy freezing cold sleet...❄️🌬🌫...brrrr 🥶..

I made a yummy chicken chow mein..lots of cabbage..I love cabbage but forget I do...and some veggies as well with some noodles...made about 3 nights worth...please both of you come over and keep me company..Trying hard not to let loneliness get me down..but it’s so hard...I’m okay so please don’t worry...I done some shading practise for drawings..I am doing it through you tube....I need lots of practice..without proper shading everything looks flat and meh.....

Love talking to you, love our time together, and love you bbff..yadimh..💜🌈🕊🌱🦄👼🧸🍫🍫..

Love, care and hugs everyone....💜🦋🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🦄👼...🕊🌱...🌹

Hey there bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩🤗 and all ☺

Me too Grandy I love our time and you too 💜 Thank you for popping in it's lovely seeing you.

Oops soz hun I should have been clearer I saw Dr ages ago about the foot. He was away for extended time and now the Covid but I will & mention about the other. That happened before I remember and it was all ok but I'll check into it.

You are right about sleeping hrs I was saying that you said out of caring and we do need to. Much too late and I've been late up.

Widdle niggly 🤕 today and the occasionals but it's bliss having a run with mostly none.

You don't sound like a
busy body Grandma at all. I love that you care so much and you explained that well. Thank you beautiful friend soul sister 😚

Same I finished mine early probs about same time roughly. So good not having them. I was lucky didnt usually have too much pain.

We're going really well thanks Grandy he's a real sweety 😍We get on very well and talk about stuff if need be. Absolutely adore the darling heart.

I can imagine how cool it is for you todays quite a bit cooler. Fresh. Not freezing like at yours by the sounds.

Yes cabbage is nice I like it too. Sorry I replied at yours about tea 😄 clearly confused and it was lovely thank you darlin very sweet to have us over. I took our virtual oh they need another cuddle Destiny and Eternity they love you and the furs so much. Mr Deebi 😍 isn't a puddy tat lover but he'll melt soon enough I showed him our kittys the other day. Oh come ere cuteys yes and you Mr gorgeous 😍 He likes doggies.

Jeepers sorry lovey I answered about your shading and loneliness too at yours.

Love you so much Mrs Grandy our times absolute 🦄 you're a beautiful friend my darling.

Hope everyones day has some light in it. 🌹

👩‍❤️‍👩💜🦄😍💗🍫🍎🐑🤝🐧

BP day 4 or 7/8 ish

I started doing some drawing recently and didn't realise BP was the motivator.

About 3/4 days ago I was feeling pretty average. Managed to snap out with self talk and have been concentrating on happies and goods in my life at a fairly steady flow. Mr 😍 gives me so much happiness helps no end.

Yesterday I did some jobs literally for yrs I've been meaning to 😆Feels so good getting them done.

Pretty much every single thing I was in touch with or close to I dropped or fell on the blasted floor yesterday couldn't believe it. Wow I was getting the whoops big time which usually I don't let it annoy me but later pulled out and laughed but was still irking somewhat. Seriously I doubt in a lifetime I've dropped or knocked so many things. Unreal.

I'm not posting for support not that I don't appreciate which I deeply do it's just I'm mostly ok and couldn't believe I slept till 1pm today.

Didnt sleeper last night but could have. A couple other previous nights sleep was taking a while and up earlier. Classic signs of starting mania.

Bit tired but holding atm.

Thanks listening and caring

Best wishes for everyone ☺

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩....and everyone....🤗..

I hope you are okay...Looks like we have synced up with our episodes...Maybe twice a year this happens....Bpaly...

I wish I could understand my BP the way you understand yours.....

Awe poor Deebi....Dropping things and them falling to the floor...and you bumping them as well...I liked that you had a 😂, about it....

Good girl sleeping until 1 o’clock...you must have needed it so body and mind did it to help you...In sleep if we dream of nice things our mind and body goes into our dream space and gives our soul a much needed peaceful healing nourishing rest...

I think if we don’t dream, then our soul is in need of healing and finds a bright star and lays on it to absorb the brightness of the star’s light to enter into our soul..

Wanted to say good night to my bbff....and hope your sleep tonight is refreshing for your tomorrow...

Much love precious friend..🌹💙🦋🕊💜🧸🤗..

Night night everyone....

love, care and hugs everyone..💜🦋🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...🌈🦋🕊🌱💭

Hi everyone 😊

You're a dear lady 🤗 thank you for your caring loving words especially when you're in the deeps.

I was blown away when I realised you were in BP. we know we're close ..phooeey we sure are 😆

I like very much what you said about dreaming/not dreaming & our soul drawing on the light from a star that's very beautiful Grandz.

Thanks lovey I can't believe I wasn't aware of being in mania in the first burst. I considered it cause basically it's the only thing that drives me for most things. I should have clicked when I was craving for a durry. Not buying any this time btw but picked up a butt today and had 3 puffs. Going ok without but craves are there intermittently the pffttss

I woke having a nightmare. I had no choice to save whoever and myself from snakes 😨 I had to catch the mutts by the head for goodness sake 😆 and was in a terrible state with pain down my arm because I'd been bitten. The charmer was a dull Yellow. Thank heavens the pain settled which I woke with it was wicked. And a slight 🤕 which has settled too yay.

I've noticed physical pain in sleep brings on nightmares or bad dreams. Had a few lately. Delighted I'm sure.

Oh wow forgot to tell you good ole mania helped me progress further on the card for mil. I'm starting to be quite happy with it. Just a couple of sections I'm struggling with but as you kindly said I'll work it out at some stage. Stoked. It's good breaking through.

Mania is ...😍 ..wow..even the baby ones like these it's ...I'm starting to wonder seriously Grandy still...what if ok maybe not all of us but most can achieve at least for parts of our lives.

I find it hard to believe if it's a chemical thingy that other people don't have it in their heads too. Just something sets it off.

Goodnight beautiful. I tucked you in, wrapped the warm "Blanky" which you don't need others because it's auto thermal or cooling depending on body temp forgot to tell everyone that got one. Furs kitties cuddled up and Mr 😍 and I in your spare room close by beautiful.

Thank you Grandy for that beautiful bbff comment at yours it touched me deeply. Ditto too my gorgeous one.

Nigh nite good kind caring people.

You're such a treasure my precious friend. Always sending you my deepest permanent growing love 👩‍❤️‍👩💜🗯😚🤗🤝✨🕊🐩🐕

Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...and everyone..🤗..

What you up to lovely friend...?

I’m sorry about your nightmares..they really do wake us in fright... I remember a few times dreaming about bads and waking up with aches and pains...Strange how that happens... I’m wondering if our subconscious remembers the dream and passes it to our conscious mind when we wake up...Dreams of snakes 🐍..Maybe came from my post a few days ago about not walking in summer because of the snakes .

I checked in my dream book.....

In ancient times, snakes were seen as signs of transformation. If snakes appear in your dreams, it can signify that you are moving forward, are healing and have entered a phase of personal transformation. Most likely, you have moved beyond a hindrance on your path that existed till recently.

Same Deebi...I thought about BP and chemicals reaction...Why some people and not others...I keep thinking must be a cause..idk maybe the first few months of our lives, we lived in heavy metal areas, car fumes, factory smoke, spraying chemicals on vegetables..and an intolerance to the gasses they all produced in the air back then, and with intolerance our tiny little brains were effected...Hmmm maybe I’m talking silly..but hard to believe that some babies are born with BP...

Very well done with the card..Doesn’t matter whether in or out of BP..you’re still keeping with it...I hope you’re proud of you...I am🍫..there you go honey a chocolate to celebrate your achievement..

You have so much insight into your mh....and the strength needed to choof it off...I wish I could do the same...I try to go back inside myself and make myself numb of all emotions when I go into BP mode...It’s like I have 2 different people living in my brain...One that can take over my emotions and switch them off...then the other one that can switch them back on for a while for a full explosion of emotions...Do I make sense?...No!....my survival mode when showing my emotions made it worse for me..I completely made my brain numb to everything/body around me....Sorry honey I talked about me..

Gotta tuck my bbff in before I go to bed..and light this beautiful lavender candle 🕯 for you...

Deep love bbff...with lots of 🧸🤗’s...💜💜🕊🌱..

Good night with peaceful dreams tonight lovely friend..I whispered in the ear of the dream fairy..for some healing dreams tonight..bbff...sss.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🕊🌱🦄👼🌹.

Gorgeous Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and all hey ☺

Pleased I've got those bits done thanks to mania motivation and energy. Mostly we watch TV which we both enjoy.

I'm trying to get back into a sleep routine you're right it makes sense it's better for us to keep the rythym same. Our bods need mentally esp good sleep. I'm trying day sleeps when needed now.

Pretty ragged but not exhaustion thankfully.
I'm hoping to get out of this quicker maybe within a wk.

Was a bit blaghh today but was able to deal with the rot by hearing tnoughts but not going further. Didn't work all the time but then redirecting thoughts and focus to better. A sleep helped too big time.

Good thought darl about you mentioning snakes. Joking but roight thanks for that 😆
Oh wow I like that a lot from the dream book it blew me away at the accuracy for the most. Thanks for doing that sweetyheart 🤗☺

I am starting to turn corners. It's a hard slog but worth it thanks to here majorly
I accept it'll take a lot longer. That's ok it's a lifetime of pain to manage choof and relearn

Yip there's a reason for everything
I like that you explore different possibilities.

Mercury I think affects the body so why not other things. Nice one Grandyfloss👍

Good point ☺ re mania or not with art. It's just I love that mania allows all the stuff to happen and that I was able to think of patterns that months I haven't been able to.
I'm going to try hard to follow through. Mmm inhaled the 🍫 why thankyee mam 🤗

It does feel like two people I know exactly what you mean.
Yes I understand exactly what you're saying.

Please hun never be sorry talking about you here.
We're so close it feels like we're part of eachother sss 🤗💜

Oh that was so warming you tucking me in thankyou dear darling and what a gorgeous lavender candle you're such a sweet person 🤗

Btw on messenger the rage bloke about 3 days ago made contact. I thought he would we have a good friendship but thought it'd be earlier.

What a shame he's still in a hard mindset and clearly although still here given up on happiness.

I'm not giving up on him. Good he's talking in tiny bits.

I'm glad to try but it's hard being in BP coming down.

Ok finish watching the chase with my 😍 then beddy byes.

Love you dear darling bbff spirit soul sister sss. Thank you for being so beautiful and loving 😚

Nigh nite everyone 👋☺😴

👩‍❤️‍👩💜💗🦄😍🌱🍫

Good Night beautiful Deeb👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🤗...

I needed to say good night to you my dearest bbff...

Will chat tomorrow...if that’s okay...

I couldn’t go to sleep without wishing you a good restful sleep....

Silly me I pressed post before I finished...

Wanted to just say that There are friends, there is family, and then there are friends that become family..Thank you for being in my family..Love you dearest bbff...sss..🦋💜🕊🌱🦄👼...

Sleep well with dreams of floating on the clouds and watching the stars flow past you...and fill your soul with heavenly starlight....

Care, love and hugs....24/7...365days..🧸🤗..💜🍫💚..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...🦄👼...

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...and everyone...🤗,

Its not in your heart to give up on anyone..you have a golden heart beautiful bbff....that’s one reason why I love you..plenty more reasons as well☺️..

Its good to hear that you’re turning corners...it does take hard work..and I believe you have the want, determination and strength to do so....

I have two people in my brain..one is the broken person, the other is the person I know that hides deep within..the happy person that I need to find and nourish....that I find for a few seconds or minutes at times....

I can relate to the rage guy...sometimes happiness is just to hard to seek out...I really hope that he eventually finds some peace and happiness...

Definately is very hard coming down in BP...but hey bbff we got this, because we have each other...👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🤗...

What are you doing today precious friend...Me I’m going to try to vacuum my house, wash the dishes..and that’s enough for me...I hope your day has some beautiful highlights in it...

Deep love and care bbff..alway Please you okay..🧸🤗🕊🌱💜...

My love, hugs and care to everyone listening..💜🤗🦋.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...🦄👼..🕊🌱..👂👀💜💭🤝superglued...with a 🎀 ..

Hi darlin Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and everyone 👋🤗

I love hearing from you beautiful and like to reply when I can and I could but todays been mixed as anything. I'm holding back from going with beasty and being cranky or horrid. It's so bloody hard and makes you feel like you're just not worth a nickel but most of that I've been coping with but wowsie it throws you into foul moods at times. (Not as common for me but temper rising is) I've pulled outta those but geez 😠 Very tired usual story. Getting there but no great shakes 😆🙃☺☹😠🤒want one so bad at times.

Grandy I re read today and got another giggle at your x 8 or 6 rubbers can't now remember which. Love your humour.

Catch you tomoz lovey going to try for earlier bed ☺😚👩‍❤️‍👩💜🤗

Thank you and everyone always in my 💗⚘

Hello Deebi,

Here are some gentle huggily hugs to help choof beasty away. You have this lass, I believe in your strengths.

If beasty is whispering (maybe that should be yelling) in your ear, then ask your gorgeous Mr Deebi to do some breathing with you. Holding his hands while you do them, you can feel yourself wrapped in loving hugs from all your friends here. So breathe in...two...three...Breathe out.... choof.... beasty..... breathe in.... two.... three.... Breathe out.... choof..... beasty..... repeat.....

Sending you sweet dreams

Paws

Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, lovely Paws and all...🤗..

Awe..Deebi..Yes honey it’s hard, mixed is a bid dipper of a ride ...and hard to manage..making you feel not worth a dime...You’re worth then all the money that this world could ever make in the universe’s life time....

Breathe like our lovely Paws has recommended......it does help..along with self talk....you can do this bbff..it will pass...believe in your want of choofing off Beasty...

Having yourself getting angry...I know you can’t help it..but it does cause a longer time in coming down...Now how do we stop the anger feeling you get...

Lets try to sit on a cloud and when your breathing..breathe out the anger and breath in the soft pure air of the clouds...trying to remember that anger is only an emotion that we can with being mindful can manage...Look around you and what do you see..Do you have a picture hanging on your walls of a peaceful place that you can take yourself into or if not look out your window or balcony doors and see the gentleness of the waves..coming in to shore, the tiny bubbley foam that it bring with it....While the waves goes out to sea...(in breath)...it gathers its strength, it’s anger, and soon enough it releases it out like an out breath,. (breathe out)...as all the sea’s out breath comes into shore...before it arrives it starts let go of anger and begins to feel the peace of the foamy bubbles and sand gently swirling and enjoying the peace that breathing can do for us..with our imagination/ visualisation...it can help us...with practice...

I’m pleased I gave you some giggles....Last time I attempted to draw the tree..I ended up rubbing a hole right through one of the branches..😁..It looked like a squirrel dug out a hole and built its home there..

I really hope so much honey that you’re doing okay...rest as much as you need, sleep as much as you need...and remember my beautiful Deebi...That it’s okay not to be okay..But my wish for you......Is that you’re always better then okay....and everyone here as well...

Gotta go now bbff...You’re deeply in my thoughts and heart..love you sweet Deebi...4 eva....pubaok..yadimh..wiwwyip..always..👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🦋💜👭.🧸🤗.

My love, care and hugs everyone...💜🦋🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy....🦄👼...👀👂💭🤝.

Hello dear Paws 🐾 Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and all ☺
Thank you loveys both for your beautiful posts 💗

I was hoping to be out of BP by now it was a definate hypomania (type 2) again.
Had some yum moments in mania. Seems like there was two batches.
Being so in the moment often it clicks it's mania later.

Probs for 4 days coming down including today but less it's intermittently been very hard work but majority of
crikey how many times.

Incredibly knocked up.

Plenty of happy times too laughing talking etc seen friends and phone sometimes and of course this darling man 😍 that I adore. We're very happy which helps no end.

It's just so bloody hard. I think yes Grandz I have turned some corners. Big maze this one isn't it sigh

I had an incredibly sudden mood drop which mostly they are fast. Went down like a bag of chocolates 😄
Had some horrid moods which sorry I didnt say properly before I was trying so hard not to be a cow and thats an understatement occasionally I was! Apologised immediately dear Mr Deebi was sweet quiet and wisely didn't react the dear love. I can't stand feeling like that and usually manage to not be a witch but ... ☹ tho I imagine that rots part of me which is really a horrible blaghh. I'm ok but not about that but starting to get better overall at not holding onto or things ruminating at least. I'm talking internally to thoughts often and then choofing them out to the Right side they come in the Left of my head it feels like.

It really is hard to explain and today too times of depression feeling trapped I thinks anxiety horrid!

Mostly throughout I've been happy but wow not all the time geez.

I wonder if we have mixed because we're starting to learn to lift out of depression and back up. I know it takes little to go into mania for myself anyway.

Grandy absolutely it feels like there's two people. One good and one bad horrid. Geez I can see a lot of why I didn't moreso but definately do in BP but have a way to go but more like in normals and booming in mania.

Thanks listening
Girls 👩‍❤️‍👩🐾 I'll check back tomoz and reply loves.
Thanks again for amazing support.

Grandy really loved breathing on the cloud. Going to read again magic lady 😚

I've thought more about your 🎁 but as you can see having probs wrappingit up 😅 but pwoomish you'll get it sweetyheart bbff.. flutters eyelashes

Grandy love you very deeply dear 🦄 bbff always and growing stronger daily. Oh yeh family honeyheart 🤗👩‍❤️‍👩💜🤝🦄👂😚👀

Bbl 🍃

Pawsy 🐾 Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and everyone hi 😊

🐾 Thanks hun the hugs 🤗 are very welcome ☺

It's a good reminder about breathing. In the hards we get pretty tense often not realising that we're shallow breathing 🌬 It helps with relaxation and spreads the oxygen further

So cute sometimes either 😍 or I deep breathe at night in bed sometimes, then we're both doing it. Synchronised breathing 😄

Comforting loving 🤗 hugs from everyone too 💗

It's SO damned hard. More often than not it really does make you consider no matter how much loves around you how much you can take.
Thank god it passes.

Definately easier being in type 2 (hypomania) but still incredibly hard at times. The difference now is it's intermittent I guess cause I'm pulling up and through but not always before it takes me down but improvements handling the rot. So much and so caried.

Incredibly hard work and frightening living in the dark side.

Cheers Pawsy I hope you're feeling brighter hun 🐾💗🤗🤝🐆

Dear Grandy 🤗 so good seeing you bbff ☺Always is. Honestly I don't know what I'd do without our beautiful friendship.

I'm pretty sure he's sick of me not going with what he says. I do understand a lot which he knows

I too get resigning to not finding happiness. Very sad way to be eh darlin 🤗. I figure if I go along all the time yes good support for him but no chance of giving him a reason to pull up again.

Geez it's hard seeing someone so low. You feel so helpless. Haven't heard back for a while surprisingly thats ok too tho. I wouldn't have been coping well with more. In the 5th day now in the harder parts its on and off been a doozy. Few bits in mania and before

Grandy it's mania for the most that I can see why lifes so fantastic 😀 Thats my ? our normal. I won't repeat it all but it's when we're productive and everythings awesome 💗🌞⛅🌟

Todays better but still struggling and tired. No day sleep. Not sometimes lately.

Bout 6 rollies from friend the other day. Havent got a pkt this time but damn cravings going for it intermittently. Busting but have to bite the bullet..nearly in half 🤤no hair left cause ..boom 💣...💥...

That really was beautiful the anger & the waves. Great descriptions thx lovey I could feel it ☺

Oh Grandz you're so funny we cracked up about rubbing a hole in the branch and a squirrel made a home 😂

Deep love sweetyheart. Always 🗯💜👀🤝 wiwawyip honeyheart maybe one day. We have hope. 👩‍❤️‍👩💜🤗😚

💗 everyone ⚘

Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...and all....🤗..

Sorry Deebi I’ve not replied to you...I was moving a cupboard from the loungeroom to the kitchen, when I was lifting it onto the bench I wanted to put it on, my hand got in the way and it fell on it....I think just bruised, not broken I don’t think....wow I have a black hand at the back and was unable to move it for a day..my fingers are working now..woopie!...

Awe poor sweetheart...getting angry..I’m sure Mr. Deebi knows the true sweet gentle you and hopefully understands that you go through these episodes every so often....He is a treasure for you sweet lady....and you so much deserve each other’s love and comfort..💜🕊..

Mania does help us to see the beauty in the world as well as some people’s as well....Honey if you need sleep please don’t force yourself not to....Sleeping gives our mind a break from the world we live in, when we are down....

Mindfulness works for cravings..gets our mind of the ciggies and most other cravings we can get....

Im pleased you liked the clouds beautiful bbff..anger is just an emotion and can be controlled but I believe it’s hard...Sometimes I wish I could feel some type of anger...maybe it would stop a lot of feeling of being trapped and caged up and going down to quickly..idk...I remember my parents anger and my hubbies..I just don’t see the need to be angry..because it doesn’t change the situation..I feel it escalates everything, makes things worse....I hope I never said wrong to you...

We never know Deebi..a kind word here and their, showing him you care, could one day be a reason for him to pick up...your and the other people here....words of care and kindness has picked me up many many times..

I hope today is a lovely day for you Deebi...it’s a perfect winter’s day here, sun shining with a healing warmth..please if you can go outside even for 15 minutes to feel the warmth on your skin does help..

Love you Deebi...always..👀👂💭🤝..............We are strong, we are invincible....we are together.....always connected by our hearts and soul.....💜🤗🦋🕊🌱🌹💪..we got this honey....🤜👿🤛..Kaboom.. 💣..🧸🤗..

Care, love and hugs everyone..🦋💜🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🦄👼🕊👭🍫🍫

Sweet Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 hi everyone 😊🤗

No need to be sorry lovey I absolutely love our time but only when you're ok to.

Struth that was a nasty painful sounding accident geez you poor love and the colour.. oh Grandy 🤗 thank goodness you can move your fingers today.
I'm not sure about now but if you have swelling hold your affected limb up and ice it. I'd imagine you're familiar with all that.
Please be careful precious friend.
I'll just get Nurse Deebi ... 👩‍🏭

It's incredibly hard to explain and describe how it is when in so deep.
I think moreso it was sarcasm on occasion and argumentative etc more than anger soz I did say anger.
He's gentle quiet man 😍 doesn't very often give me reason for anger and yes I've been telling him what it's all about.
He doesn't get fazed often and knew I was struggling so just soaked it up. I'm Oh darlin I'm sorry each time. I really don't like being a cow at all.

Wasn't often but SO hard because in that state we're only having dark thoughts like nothing at alls nice good or fun as you'd know but also often I was laughing & talking with the love.

At least some improves.
Difficult to be stoked when [IT]x⚘ puts you through so much.

Almost better mentally. 2/3 more good sleeps then normal again.

I liked very much you saying anger being an emotion good on you huns. Helped. I'm thinking a lot about that and other things you & others say

Oh this is great. I went through it all without a sleeper 😲 happy days indeedy.
Think I wanted to keep the productivity while I had it.
Thought maybe better quality sleep at night tho I'm near in a coma coming down. Had one in the chair this eve. Jeeps a couple hrs Mr 😍 said.

Oh does it. How does mindfulness help with cravings lovey? Thank goods they've backed off.

Anger does block rational thought at times and escalate that's right.
It also can protect us to a degree at times but pretty much a negative emotion.

Thanks for that guidance with friend. Although I've moved on as in talking to him etc I'm holding back a tad with him.

Hun is it too early for a sicko joke 😁... wish I could give you a hand in your recovery 😜 (with your hand)

Souls and hearts very true lovely we're linked with pure everlasting friendship of the best kind. Respect love and care Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🤝💗

Read at yours darlin I'll catch you tomoz beautiful 🤗😚

Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..and everyone...🤗..

Awe thank you nurse 👩‍⚕️ Deebi...Yes a bit of swelling, lots of different colours blues, purples, browns..and some red around the sore it created where it fell...Hand of many colours..😂😂...It’s okay, I have a strong threshold where bangs, and bruising happen...Wish I was as strong with my mh...

It is too hard to explain how we feel, when the darkness grabs hold... Words aren’t descriptive enough to explain the pain and hurt of the deepness bp and/or CPTSD takes us down to...

Well done no day sleep, I hope your getting enough sleep through the night...”Early to bed..early to rise..helps our depression..runaway and hide”...😂...

happiness, anger, sadness, joy, all these and more are our emotions..They come and go, while we chat to people, interact with people..our daily activities, work..I don’t believe that we can be 100% ...24/7 of any one of those emotions...Each day when not in depression we feel a few different emotions daily...

Haha..haha..thanks for the joke sweety...😂😂....You can definitely give me a hand of yours to hold..anytime you want to..

Take care of you..my dearest bbff..Love you so much..💙big 🧸 🤗...sweetheart...Here is a yummy box of liquor chocolates, 💝 for you and Mr. Deebi to enjoy...Don’t eat them all at once though..I picked some marshmallows today and I’m going to make you both something yummy to eat, next weekend...

My care, love with some hugs everyone..🦋💜🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...🦄👼...🕊🌱..

Hey my bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 and all ☺

Grandy love 🤗 Hope you're doing as well as can be lovely heart. Oh and your poor hand I've been thinking about it.
So wrong you've toughened so much to physical pain.
Dear lady you're well on your way to being as tough with mh 🤗 you/we got this 🤝
I must say though in all seriousness darlin if you don't mind me saying, your colourful hands quite becoming 😁 ..new fashion maybe 🤔
I know you know my humour honeyheart 😆

BP day ?
Sometimes I feel like I'm falling apart.

Grandy it really is so hard isn't it to describe the mental anguish. It's not been all the time thank goods.
So far I've not let it take hold.
It's SO incredibly hard the roller coaster of good bad laughing happy dark tired depressed deeply and the list goes on.

Atm my heads far from right yet.
I thought coming down would be over way sooner.
Beasties sooky la la-ing cause [IT's] x⚘ not getting it's way as much so plays nasty hard still.
One good is I'm mostly type 2 now. You'd think the downs would be way less but nah still blaghh

I'm noticing a big deterioration with my memory. I think the stroke contributes and know BP does. It's during episodes and aware always now how much I misunderstand so keep checking

Not surprising really getting so wrecked apart from late nights even when the heads not going 100 miles an hr esp at night. Oh just repeating NO SLEEPERS this episode woo hoo 😀

Having some probs s at than not through it but going to try not to in normals. Just want the horrids to rack off 😤 They will soon I know. At times it feels like your trapped and need to leave your body. (Think anxiety) i usually get outta bed soon after they're suffocating. I'm starting to catch them too. Geez it's hard bloody yakka but we're getting there & that's what counts eh Grandz & everyone 🤝

Oh oh baby ..THANK YOU sweetyheart for the choccy liqueurs we love them 💝 love that, you have a creative mind hun. Cool looking forward to our Marshmallow surprise yum already slurp. How 😶 my tongue was hanging out 😄

YAY loven Big Brothers back again woo hoo

Love you darlin pubAok bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩💜

Thanks for everything sweetyheart/s 💗

👩‍🚀 oh good there's nurse Deebi. I was looking for her. Last I saw she was with you Grandz. She looks different out of uniform 👩‍⚕️.. so much fun we have Grandy Floss 🤗😊😀😂😆😅😄😉😎😁

Nigh nite everyone night darlin ..there you go all tucked in beautiful 😚🤗

Hiya Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..and everyone...🤗..

Its very exhausting in bp..with all the mixed up emotions..I tried to catch one..but nah it got away and buried itself deeper inside...Maybe I’ll use some sort of [IT]xx trap..will look into my 💼 and see what I’ve got in their...I know what we need.. 🔨 to use on [IT]..but it’s a sneaky little bugger and holds on tight...Deebi...we can release its grip on us..with self talk, beautiful music..watching Big Brother..I’ve never watched it..I don’t think...I remember you saying you liked it and formed a special bond with a person on face book...I hope you can reconnect with her if you feel to...

It does pass...Not quick enough..if we could catch it in the really early stages maybe it might help us..to not go as low...but I’m thinking like everything else [IT]xx unfortunately has to run its course, before we can breathe easier with peace...

I hate feeling trapped..yes I think anxiety and ptsd combined causes that feeling...Having that trapped feeling..is the danger zone for me...How about you sweetyheart..are you safe when you feel like that?

Haha...my hand is a dirty yellow colour now..with some red around a sore in the middle of it...looks 😂 but it works well...can type good now...

Im pleased you both liked the chocolates 🍫..I’ve been craving 🍫 the last few days... It is very yummy..just in case you forgot..I found some chocolate coated oreos, they are nice and I love dark chocolate Tim Tams...I bought both if you want to come over I’ll share a piece of each one 😂😂..

Well done with no sleepers...I am so very proud of you..and your determination to do what you feel is best for your mh..

Nurse Deebi...is my hero 🦸‍♀️...love how you take care of me..thank you precious friend..love you stacks and stacks honey.. ( 🍯 💙)..🧸🤗💙❣️...👀🤝👂☁️💫

ooh L👀KY here Deebi...it’s a...a...r racing car..🏎 💨💨💨..Wonder how fast it goes?..Hmmm..later we can go for a spin in it..

Enjoy Big Brother..I’m going to watch tonight..

Love and hugs everyone with kind thoughts.💜🤗🦋..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...🦄👼🍯💙🕊🌱

Beautiful/s 👩‍❤️‍👩 😊🤗

Thanks dear friend for your always beautiful supportive and funny post. You really are a classic ya know Mrs Grandy 😀

Just for a change I have a 🤕 although a great deal of time the pillows away from my head to catch it before it takes hold which works often tho this brutes staying. They drag you down don't they. Can have more meds otc at midnight but I'm a bit worried how to go about it cause I'll be turning into a Pumpkin 😆🎃

The mutt beastys holding on but then l👀king 😅 back this has been over an extended time. Sigh.

Yes still very tired too how bout you huns

Darlin I'll bbt just chillin with the honey 😍 watching TV. Oh I'm SO wrapped you're going to watch it. Coooool. I'll keep you filled in.

Yes we became very good friends she was heavily involved with it and we got to know eachother. Stayed with her on trips to brothers a couple nights and she rang the other day we had a good natter. Love her.

And you deeply and for evers mwah 😚

See you tomozza my gorgeous and any readers sleep well good people ☺

👩‍❤️‍👩💜🤕🎃🗯🌈🤝🍫

Hiya Grandy love 👩‍❤️‍👩 and readers 👋

Such a big 😀 seeing your bag. When I'm l👀king 😆 remember us using that ages ago, for emojis I see it and others we use.

I think that's right that it has to do [IT]'s thang the swine.

It's incredible how many emotions moods and feelings we can go through in a day or few mi utes for that matter.

I'm going to think it's lising its power but Ooh la la doesn't it give it's very best.

There are times I think this might also be anxiety that make you think it's never going to change that you'll stay like it. It fragments you. It's so bloody hard and what I dont like is everything is negative, no not everything it's just a sense of desparation creeps in.

I'm pleased so pleased I managed to hold but so many times. It threw everything at me but mania held for a while to intermittently the second time around. Manias my normal as in wanting to live and do things the ideas yardy ya.

Oh feeling a lot better and happier today, nearly out of [IT]x🤗

Oh you sweety you can have all the icky blaar dark choccy you like lovely but we'd love to share a piece 😆 of choccy coated oreos yummo thankyee huns.

You too gorgeous you l👀k after me so well I feel so safe and secure thank you and that goes to everyone the beautiful people here 💗

BB is on next at 7pm Sunday honeyheart it's hugely entertaining. Love it with a passion. Stoked you're going to watch.

Ohh goodio glad you found the miniature vroom 🏎 💨💨💨 wow she goes. I don't know if instructions came with it but you have to water it each day at 3.07pm and feed the exhaust with grapes for 2 wks while it grows into a Ferrari that we both can zoom around in.

Love you heaps gorgeous ☺👩‍❤️‍👩💜

🍫🤝🦄😍so😀&🤕 gone yay

🤜splat🤛🤗😚

You da 💣

Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...and all....🤗..

I hope your 🤕 is gone gone away..They are the pits aren’t they?....

Your not wrong about mixed emotions and how many times in a day we struggle to manage the ups and downs..it’s like being in a space ship 🚀 going warp speed up, up, up then comes spirally down out of control faster then the warp speed it went up...

I think it could be anxiety that makes us think we will stay that way forever.... we have been through mixed cycles so many times, yet it’s still so hard and takes a lot of hard work to convince ourselves then believe ourselves that the cycle/episode will finish... when and only when [IT]xx decides it’s given us enough negativity for now....and gives us a break..for a while...🤜splat🤛...(I like that)..

First time I saw the chocolate coated oreos..they were super yummy...they are the first item on my shopping list this week.😁..

How are you feeling today physically and mentally honey ?..

It was nice to hear that you were feeling happier a couple of days back..I hope so much that your even more happier today and every tomorrow...

Oh I’m restocking my 💼..with lots more goodies and fantasy creatures...and fantasy worlds...We well I know I need my fantasy, it’s my get away, my hiding place that beauty can’t find most times...I think we were given the ability to be able to fantasise, to protect us...when nothing else works...We all have that ability, starts when we’re children..some people loose it..which is sad..but I believe it’s achievable to get it back....

Oh..the 🏎..is growing...very slowly..feeding it 2 grapes into the exhaust, plus watering it daily at 3.07pm each day...Can’t wait to get in with you and take it for a drive at super sonic speed across the san at yours...Everyone will think it’s a sand storm as we drive past them..🏎💨💨😂😂..

Love you so much my bbff...🦋💜🧸🤗..

Thank you for being who you are🦄..

Sending my love, care, and hugs to everyone..💜🦋🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...🦄👼..

Hi Mrs bbff & all lovely people out there 🤗

Always so good seeing you Floss 🤗I know I say it often but do mean it.
Thanks for a lovely visit you have such a beautiful spring in your step, it's those times I know you're at the very least holding or have reserves so I can relax a tickle 🤗

Thankfully the 🤕 only lasted the day think I got it later that night. I spend a LOT of time without the pillow but its ok cause saves a few more ouches. Ta ☺

Btw doc & I agree feels the bleedings ok going from previous all clear with the ops and tests so probs fibroids.
It stopped but did hold on a bit. Well darker which is older blood. So that's all good.

Yes I think today and most of yesterday I'm back to normal darlin.
It's really an awful feeling thinking it'll always be that way. I agree anxiety sounds like it'd make us feel that way. Bloody convincing too the mutt.

Grandy I can't let it go or accept that we can't meet up in rl. It hurts so deeply and every damned days a waste. I'm in a better position now but you're not and I know we'd never leave here and could help each other so much in rl. I don't know what to do but it eats at me.
I can accept some things but same with Starwolf I don't know if she's ok or not. Miss care and love her deeply ⚘. An incredible lady and with you it just doesn't seem fair 😢 at all.

The whole things exhausting Grandy but I guess we need to keep in mind we are up to it and are making ground. It's just so often! At least good times between how bout you lovey?

Haha enjoy the oreos honeyheart 🍘 no idea what that is but thought it could be close to 😆

Just can't get enough sleep hun. Otherwise good thanks. Back still clicking but more often little or no pain. Being very careful.

Coool restocking your 💼 😂 Oh how I love our time. Irreplaceable.
I like how you think hun yes agree about the fantasy. It's such a release and fun doing. The other day I was giggling as I was doing one. I keep adding to your 🎁 sorry its taking so long but is coming honey ☺

😆 I can't wait for us to blat along the beach yeehaaa. Yip let's rip the sand up woo hoo. Oh good wasn't sure if the petrol would work..phew..grapes are so much more versatile these days.

Love you so much too Grandy you're an amazing besty. Would hate being without you please look after yourself sweetyheart.

Lysvm awyis pubaok yadimh bbff sss 😚🤗👩‍❤️‍👩💜💗🤝👀💼🎁🗯🌈

Nigh nite everyone sleep well 🤗

Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩......and all...🤗

So Good hearing your back to normal...Anxiety can do awful things to our body and mind..sometimes I feel anxiety is more of a curse then depression or bi polar....

Deebi... I understand how you feel about not being able to meet up in r/l...very hard to accept, I know that I could help you and you could help me so much better in r/l..it also eats at me a lot..and causes me to 😭, at times...I never want to loose you Deebi..and I get scared sometimes because you give me the strength to continue on, when at times I don’t want to...I’m extremely grateful that we have each other’s words of comfort and care..I just so much wish we could meet...I hold onto hope that one day we can...

Please do continue to be very mindful of your back...it’s very important that you do...and to get as much sleep as you feel you need to, to recover properly from bp...

Got to put my thinking cap 🧢 on, to think up new and exciting things for our 💼..

Oh...I made you some chocolate coated marshmallows with a strawberry in one, a cherry in another and ummm..I forget whats in the third one..😂😂😂..let me know what it was...if your game enough to try them🤢..Good luck honey..maybe you’ll get the 2 yummy ones first..

I’m not going anywhere Deebi.... I’ll look after myself the best I can..please you look after yourself the best you can too...Always here for you precious friend..love you very much..💜🦋🕊🌱🧸🤗..you have a beautiful soul..

My love, care and hugs to everyone..💜🦋🤗,

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🦄👼..

Hi Gorgeous Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and everyone ☺

Anxieties a brute it really does smother doesn't it.
It seems to work on the fear part of the brain.
I find it terribly hard feeling trapped it's awful but great it's over for a bit.
Thanks Grandy for a caring post li,e you always do ☺🤗

Yes we do need to hold onto hope otherwise there's just a Black full stop.
It frustrates and really downs me.
I know we can further help eachother.

Yes I really am being careful with the back.
It hurt today and grinded but here and there at least isn't as severe and every time full strength pain.

I love our bag. Did I mention I put an Olympic size trampoline can't remember if I had that already in there. Helps when the lifts out. Boing... boing boing weeeee

Ohhh yum I shared with Mr gorgeous and we loved them thank yee Mam and the other was a milk choccy Lindt. Ohhh slurp. Sooo good.

Feels good you saying you're not going anywhere Grandz.
Love you so much. We're part of eachothers lives. So close it's lovely.
PubAok lysvm awyis yadimh sss bbff gg

Sleep well good people that's where our main strength is 💗

👩‍❤️‍👩💜🤝💗💼🌈👀🍎🗯😚🤗⚘

Hello beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩....and everyone....🤗..

Im still here lovely lady...a bit quiet but still around...😁..

Good girl with taking care of your back....Something that you need to do each second of each day until it can be repaired 🗜🔦⚙️🔩🛠🔧..by your specialist...

Anxiety sux big time honey..and agree with you that it’s our fear part of the brain that takes over us...hard to overcome most times but with work we can do it...

What you been up to honey?..

My body found the lounge again..thinking of getting rid of them..then I’ll have to stand all day...at least then my body will be right way up😂..Not sure but I think laying around or sitting around all day, then nights is not very good for us...

No, you never mentioned the trampoline and the boing..boing..weeee...I tried it out straight away when I found out you put it in....Wow it bounced me to the stars ✨ I grabbed a few and put them in our 💼 just in case one of us needs some light in our days...or the other lovelies here...

Oh...a Lindt milk chocolate...Oh Silly me..I did put a wax chocolate frog 🐸 in one and guess what...I got then mixed up and gave you mine and I ended up with the wrong one..😂😂...I’m pleased you enjoyed my Lindt chocolate...I’ll have to be more careful next time😂😁...

I really and truely hope that you are feeling good bbff..If not let me know honey and I’ll pop over tonight and sing 🎶 🎤🎼 a couple of lullabies for you...guaranteed to help you sleep 💤..Ummm I think 🤔..

Enjoy your day..the best you can bbff..been 💭 of you more then usual today...Love you precious bbff..💜🤗🧸..

My love, hugs and care everyone..💜🤗🦋.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

Beautiful friend Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 hi everyone ☺

Hey gorgeous always so good seeing you 🤗

Same hun I'm around too just a bit quiet but not upset or anything. Good actually but still sleeping a lot. I'm glad Mr 😍 comes with me he's such a love

Haha I showed him how they're going to fix my back we 😂. God I love you

It sux alright it's another powerful downing emotion but self talk does help from experience. Horrible feelings.

Sweety I've been thinking about you heaps too which is always but know tomoz you start your therapy. Always right here with you gorgeous. You're NEVER alone precious friend 💜🤝

😆 Isn't it the pits when you eat your own Wax 😂 froggy. Oh dear...how sad...😁 nya ah ha you're a crack up.

😄 I'd love you to pop 🎈📍 lol around anyway and sing 😲 it'd be beautiful. I'm sure Croixy would be missing us. I've been wondering how he is but didnt want to disturb there.

Oh huns I actually did over 3 days some mopping and vacuumed woot been an age so happy. Backs been stopping me and Mr gorgeous same boat he's great tho helping around the place oh he's a honey 😍 we have a strong love.

Oh Grandz and peeps I have a big hospital appt; July 8th. Wow nice and quick.

Oh yikes whacked the back of my foot on the vacuum cleaner dragging it towards me oh Geez the pain today walking but was ok down the street yesterday..strange, eased off slightly now. Next on list.

Oh getting blood tests tomoz.

Haha cool glad you grabbed some ✨ what a good idea. Oh so it worked ok so pleased cause I put an extra high bounce in.

You're a magic girl ya know. Not sure if I mentioned how much I absolutely adore and love you soul sista 🤗😚

All the very best tomozza lovely. You'll be ok hun cause you're one of the bravest strongest most beautiful people I have the honour to know and love 💜👩‍❤️‍👩✨🤝🌈👀💗

Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..and everyone..

Awe thank you for the nice words you said to me..

Honey..I’m a bit scared..are you okay..re..the big hospital appointment on July 8th...Is Mr. Deebi going to take you and stay with you...I wish I could take you and be there for you...😢..Please be okay precious friend....

The 🐄 finally came down to the fence in front of mine today....I said hello in cow talk...”moo moo”...They all stopped eating their grass and stared at me...the big bull 🐄 went “moooooooooo” and walked away, the others followed him....Hmmm I wonder what my moo moo meant in cow talk....

Ouchie...that would have hurt...tender area at the back of our heels..I hope it doesn’t stir up your Achilles any worse.. Nurse 👩‍⚕️Grandy is here...um 💼..here we go..some special lotion to rub onto it..it gets hot ☄️ for 20 minutes then cold ☃️ for 20 minutes and repeats this for 24 hours..it’s a new lotion I invented just for you poor darling...

Feel good doesn’t it when we are up to cleaning our homes...Mine stays clean for about 10 minutes..I think my furs own my house and I’m their carer, cleaner, chef 😁..now I can add a bird to my family....I have 3 animals, and 1 of me living in my home...I’m out numbered..

How are you honey..both mentally and physically?...I hope your okay...and Mr Deebi as well...

I missed Big Brother last night..Didn’t feel to watch tv or hear people talking so I just watched my candles and layed down and because it was windy I listened to the wind chimes...

I wish I could send you a wind chime and a sun catcher so you could hang them on your balcony...when your not feeling the best you can watch the tiny colours from the sun catcher and listen to the music from the wind chimes....

I hope you sleep good tonight Deebi...with beautiful dreams....Love you as deep as the deepest ocean..🦋🤗💜..sss ..yadimh and my 💭..bear hugs dear bbff..🧸🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...🕊🌱..

Hey gorgeous 👩‍❤️‍👩 and all hiyaz ☺

Ohh what a sweety you are being worried. I'm more comcerned about getting the bloody permit. I'm totalky bamboozled.
Yes I asked if Mr Deebi 😍 can come and yes unless they badly need the seat. The love I'm so glad and better two listening than one. I'm happy so soon too.
We go community transport. Big day but at least in a car.

Coool so glad the cows 🐄 came but ohh then choofed. Uh oh you'll have to brush 🖌 up on moo lingo 🎓😅 you're gorgeous.

Oh yeh darlz it really hurt but I managed to hold words and noise in. It's normal sore now which isn't great but I must say pretty impressive 😅 your new lotion ☄ loven the heat and freezing 😂 you're a classic Grandz love ya to bits. We laughed

Had my blood tests today so that's out the way yay. Another jobby done.

They did tell me they're quite happy with your care to them 😉 ohh they're so cute and they love you to the moon and back.

We're good thanks gorgeous still having our nanny naps often which are lovely.

How beautiful a wind chime and sun catcher what a pet you are.

As deep as the deepest ocean that's beautiful. Oh meant to thank you too for the beautiful things you say. I often think of things said. Very moving huns 🤗😚

Love you so much dearest friend you really are a beautiful person lysvm yAdimh precious always 🗯👀🐄☄😍👩‍❤️‍👩💜🌈🦋🦄🕊