Online forums

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please complete your profile

Complete your profile

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community.

Forum membership is open to anyone residing in Australia.

Join the online community Community rules Coping during the Coronavirus outbreak

Forums / Long term support over the journey / Surviving: Being in a better place

Topic: Surviving: Being in a better place

  1. Paw Prints
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Paw Prints avatar
    1843 posts
    7 August 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Hello Grandy,

    Yes pork belly does have crackling. I'm glad I'm not the only one who eats all the crackling off a regular roast & then doesn't feel hungry enough to eat anything else. That is one reason why I went to pork belly, plus it is easier for a single person to only cook as much as needed. I buy the inch thick pork belly rashers & the crackling happens without having to do anything.

    Your having lunch with Betty sounds lovely. You are sweet taking her to run her errands.

    Hugs to you & pats to your furs xx

    Hello Deebi,

    Oh no! Not another carbuncle. Lass can I second dear Grandy & say be very careful squeezing it, you really don't want it to get infected. I hope you & MrDeebi are staying snuggled up out of this winter blast.

    Huggily hugs

    Paws

    1 person found this helpful
  2. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7872 posts
    7 August 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi beautiful bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 and dear Pawsy 🐾

    Thank you for lovely visits dear people.

    I'll bbt lovely ones. Again thank you 😊

    Always the deepest love Grandy and 🗯 👩‍❤️‍👩💜💖🤝👀

    Pawsy it's a pleasure knowing you a calling you a friend 🤗🐾💗🤝

    🤗

    1 person found this helpful
  3. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7872 posts
    8 August 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Beautiful Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 Pawsy 🐾 and any readers hiyaz 😊

    Sweety Grandz hiya darlin.
    Yip and an old one flared up too. It seems like the first one that did look infected well the area around it barely hurts now and is very slowly improving.
    The other mutt hurts and still pushing at it. Other not so much. Yes hurts like billyO pushing/squeezing 😲😓 I am keeping a close eye lovely.
    Thank you both loves for your concern 🤗

    In the past I visited sport and it was awful not playing. Thanks for the thought lovey but was good catching up with a few there but nah.

    Me too gorgeous over the universe and back. Strong love huns.

    Thanks Grandy love he's so easy to be around. A real love. Very happy with the darling. Never ever forget my late love or stop loving him and this sweety understands that.

    😅 Sounds like something we'd do huns going for a walk in that weather 😄
    Might be refreshing in a zany kinda way

    So good of you taking Betty Grandz you're a kind friend.
    Loven you enjoyed yourself at the club. Nice change of scenery and quality time with Betty.
    Annnd even better you did opposite to what beasty wanted. Good for you girl ✊

    When mhw comes we go for a blat (drive) which I really enjoy and love that Mr Deebi can come too.
    I talk if need be. We get on very well usually mucking around laughing. We all have a good chuckle. We bounce of eachother. Nice getting out it's so beautiful here.

    I still sleep and watch TV a lot which we both enjoy.
    We sometimes out for lunch but usually staying covid safe which is fine. Love time with Mr he's so lovely.

    Yummm pork belly.

    Pawsy thank you too for dropping in and caring too lovey ☺
    I really hope you're doing ok hun. You're so kind talking to others but don't say much about how you are lovey. Your choice of course just to say we care about you too 🤗

    Grandy beautiful I always think about you. Oh lovey I so wish too 😟

    👩‍❤️‍👩💜😍🗯🤝👀🏋️‍♀️🐩🐕

    Dear Pawsy take good care huns. Keep thinking on good thoughts and feel them hun it really does help.

    🐾🤗🤝💗⚘🍃

    2 people found this helpful
  4. blondguy
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    blondguy avatar
    11398 posts
    8 August 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hey DeeBee!

    just saying hello and hope everything is going okay for you! You are and always have been a ''gentle soul''

    Hugs and respect always

    Paul

    3 people found this helpful
  5. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    10015 posts
    8 August 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..Paul and all..🤗.

    Paul...Deebi is a gentle soul...Thank you so much for saying that...

    Deebi...I’m wondering if some nice warm salt water in a bowl and some cotton balls, and a good few big dabs and rinses with the salt water might make them feel better for you...Wow poor honey your having such an awful time with them...

    I understand about your sporting friends..it would be hard..Pleased though you did visit in the past...I think that we move on from different things without realising that physical and mental health took it away from us...then we are okay with it, because other things take their place...

    It was nice in the club, only a few people their, first time for me in a few years...

    I am happy that you have a good mhw that you bonded with..it really makes a huge difference for the better with us..

    Thats okay watching tv and sleeping..That’s what you both like so go for it honey...plus it helps in recovery and resting our bodies...and mind..I don’t think we have Beasty thoughts when we’re asleep....

    I have been using your jar of sunlight, it’s helping..I thought that I would give you a jar of starlight...I jumped on Deendy, and we searched around the night sky for the brightest star, then we captured the magical stardust for you..Put it next to your bed and it will give out a gentle soft light..if you open the jar, in the morning some stardust will float around you, to give you a calming feeling of peace to start your day..if you open it at night the magical stardust will float around you to give you beautiful peaceful dreams...

    Good night dearest bbff...much love and care 💜🦋..for you..🧸🤗..

    Nite nite everyone..sending you all my care and kind thoughts ...🦋💜🤗.

    Grandy..🌜🕊🌱🦋🌛..

    3 people found this helpful
  6. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7872 posts
    9 August 2020 in reply to blondguy
    Hi good people ☺

    Dear Pauly that was such a warm and kind post.
    Thank you matey I really appreciate that ☺
    I hope you're going well good man.
    Was as I do thinking of you yesterday and voila here you were 🦄 magic.
    Take care Pauly 🤗

    My beautiful Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and thank you too sweetyheart. What lovely people being so kind.

    Good idea sweet about the warm salt water. I'll give them a dab.
    Boyo ones really hurting the little blighter its the previous one...ouchy..😟
    I've had so many antibiotics with these brutes they say we can have too many. Wanting my body to heal me. Goodness knows I rest enough 😄 Yes I thinks sleeps ok too huns. We don't always these days but do a fair bit. If we were doing things probs not.

    Awe so cute you're using the sunlight and what a treat having Starlight oh Grandy I love it. Thank you.
    Wow needing it for peaceful dreams had a stack of bad ones lately. Had a slight 🤕 hey has your head settled lovely?

    Yip thanks ☺ nice you understanding. Been ages since I played. I miss it and walking too but maybe in the future I'll be ok to walk again.

    Yes he's always been a plus the mhw.

    Tv has always been something I've enjoyed and so often been broke you kinda settle in and with mh too.

    It's a gorgeous day here I said to Mr 😍 we should walk today.
    We're just having lunch And I struggled getting up again late but we've been late bedding and poor Mr Deebis leg gives him grief often. When I can I massage it.

    I hope your days have some light in them lovely people.
    Again thanks so much for you time and care 🤗

    👩‍❤️‍👩💜🤝👀😍💓💤👁
    1 person found this helpful
  7. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    10015 posts
    10 August 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..and everyone...🤗..

    I hope the salt water gives you some relief..My grandma used it for everything and it worked..I do the same...

    I wanted to talk but I’m really tied...Haven’t really been on the forums today...work tomorrow so tomorrow late afternoon/ early evening I will be....

    My GP rang me today with my test results..will talk on mine tomorrow about that...

    Good night bbff...Love deeply always with lots of care..💜🦋🧸🤗...sleep peacefully honey and I hope you wake tomorrow with your heart and soul full of starlights and sunbeams .

    Good night everyone..💜🦋🤗..

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

    1 person found this helpful
  8. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7872 posts
    11 August 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Hey dear bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 and all other lovelies ☺

    Beautiful post as always dear Grandz.

    Oh boyo didn't I misjudge that I might fix the mongrel carbuncles. Oh God the pains unreal and yes both are infected. I'm ragged hun from eventually deciding to tske pain relief. Tried otc that didn't eork so been on the vstrong ones.

    Pretty big cry this eve I've gad a gutfull of my body it's just one thing after the other over the past 3ish yrs mental/physical.

    Think I'm going into BP from the pain. Was a bit down yesterday and was aware wanting a smoke too. We'll see. I must finish the Bp post theres things I want to mention.

    About 6 ish days solid now, the pain. Oh man even with the strongs. It's friggen constant and moving 😲😓 So over it Grandz.

    Oh rang Dr yestrday and got antibiotics started today. Can see they're both infected. Oops.

    Sweety never worry I know how it is being tired and thanks for saying lovey too ☺ I hope you're more rested sweetyheart.

    You write so well Grandz. I've read beautiful but so ragged atm I'll catch you tomoz at yours lovely.

    Thank you Grandy love for your care love and support. Always we're 🤝👀💜👩‍❤️‍👩 🤗 love you very much dear friend thank you for you 🤗

    Cya beautiful/s 🤗☺😚

    2 people found this helpful
  9. Paw Prints
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Paw Prints avatar
    1843 posts
    11 August 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Deebi,

    Oh I'm sorry to hear about those bl**dy carbuncles being worse. Here is the gentlest of hugs lass & my shoulder to cry on as long as you need...though I think Mr Deebi & Aunty Grandy might pull rank on me for both those. Get lots of rest if you can lass your poor body really needs it fighting infections.

    Here's a sneaky bear hug xxx

    Paws

    2 people found this helpful
  10. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    10015 posts
    11 August 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Paws and all....🤗.

    I am also so sorry along with Paws, of the pain you’re going through....

    Paws...no no..never will I pull rank on you..I know you care for our gentle Deebi as well....Hug away lovely Paws...I’ll take over when your all wet...

    Awe Deebi...Please I think imo to ho and get them lanced..that way the pain will ease quicker...I know bbff your sick of the pain your body is giving you...I so much wish that they found the reason for them continuing to pop up....I really am so very sad for you..about these awful carbuncles..

    Body pain takes us down beautiful friend..and would more likely take you into BP.....💜..here always for you bbff..

    Sitting with you dearest friend.....love you very much..👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💜🧸🤗...feeling like my hands are tied because I can’t help you except for words.....wiwwyip.....Stay strong Deebi...we are all here honey..

    Love hugs and care everyone..💜🦋🤗..

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🌜💭🌛

    2 people found this helpful
  11. Paw Prints
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Paw Prints avatar
    1843 posts
    12 August 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Deebi,

    Just a thought I've had ( remember I'm not a dr so take this with a grain of salt & don't stress about it). Has your Dr checked if you might have golden staph. You have had so many rounds of antibiotics but the carbuncles keep coming back, it just made me wonder.

    Hugs

    Paws

    2 people found this helpful
  12. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7872 posts
    13 August 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi darling friends 👩‍❤️‍👩🐾 and readers ☺

    Just jumping in to say a quicky hi and let you know I'm phew on the mend. The bad one my Goodness tha pain was mighty has burst. Still hurts but nothing like before I couldn't move without extreme pain felt like my armpit had been clawed out. Yet it's below the pit but the other ones in it.

    Mr Deebi took pics I'll send to Dr showing how wide the infections (Pink skin slightly raised) around this one. Significant area seems to be much the same but at least not worse.

    A few nights I drank a LOT from milk to copiious water then about 3 nights ago I just couldn't stop.

    Wore a path through the carpet goin to China...let's say I did my 10,000 steps within about 4 hrs goin back and fro bathroom. Assuming the infection, surprisingly I didn't get physically ill with the size of this whopping one.

    Sleeping a lot. Yes I think it's healing too.

    You're so funny Grandy taking over hugs when Paws is wet 😂

    You're both beautiful friends thank you so very much for your care.

    Good thought Pawsy I'll ask in my email when I send the pics about ? G.Staph

    Love to you both and Pawsy the bear hug was great hope you feel good and Grandy lovey you too.

    I read and thought I'd replied yesterday so will see you tomoz beautiful. Love you deeply special one 👩‍❤️‍👩💜 oh yes wiwip honeyheart really do.

    Nigh nite sweet people ☺

    Thank you for your kindness dear loves. ⚘

    🗯🤝👀🤗🍫

    1 person found this helpful
  13. monkey_magic
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    monkey_magic avatar
    5154 posts
    14 August 2020 in reply to demonblaster
    Glad to hear you're on the mend DB but wow sounds very painful.

    Glad you didn't get physically ill as well... you've already got lots on your plate.

    Lol @ wore a path through the carpet going to China.

    Love your humour

    🤗

    1 person found this helpful
  14. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    10015 posts
    14 August 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Paws, Magic and everyone..🤗..

    Awe It’s good to hear from you..was getting concerned about you bbff..It’s good to hear that the worse infected one is starting to hurt less..

    I could imagine in a way how terribly painful they are for you..when my boils pop up, to me they are so tender and painful..that’s only one..geez you have clusters of 3 or 4 together poor darling...I read somewhere that boils are mostly from infected hair folicals, but can like mine also develop from food intolerances..Also as Paws has said..G staph...I hope they investigate and find out for you..so you have some some idea to help prevent them from you having them...Good idea taking those pictures of the infected carbuncle..Do you physically see your GP..or is it mainly Tele health appointments?..

    Its raining here today..I love listening to it on my tin roof..so peaceful...I hope your day is good everyone..whether it’s sunny, rainy, cloudy, cold or windy..Just like the weather changes constantly so does our lives....Enjoy your day lovely people...

    At least that’s one way to do 10,000 steps😂..nah I’ll stick to my pedal machine.....deep love to you bbff..and so much warm care..💜🦋🧸🤗..Always in my 💭..and 💜..

    My care m love and hugs everyone..🦋💜🤗.

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🌜🕊🌱🌛🌹💭🦋.

    1 person found this helpful
  15. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    10015 posts
    14 August 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Hello again..beautiful Deebi..

    I hope you are okay dear bbff...

    I have been searching the net and came up with this..although you would probably know it being a nurse..but thought I would share with you...and hope it can help you a bit...

    Home Treatment for Carbuncles

    The cardinal rule is to avoid squeezing or irritating a carbuncle, which increases the risk of complications and severe scarring.

    Warm compresses may promote the drainage and healing of carbuncles. Gently soak the carbuncle in warm water, or apply a clean, warm, moist washcloth for 20 minutes several times per day. Similar strategies include covering the carbuncle with a clean, dry cloth and gently applying a heating pad or hot water bottle for 20 minutes several times per day. After each use, washcloths or cloths should be washed in hot water and dried at a high temperature.

    Washing the carbuncle and covering the area with a sterile bandage also may promote drainage and healing and help prevent the infection from spreading. Over-the-counter medications..ask your chemist.. can help relieve the pain..

    Thinking of you dearest friend....My heart hurts for you with so much pain....love to you with deep care..💜🧸🤗🦋🌹..

    I hope tonight you sleep deeply and wake up refreshed..

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy....🦋🌹

    1 person found this helpful
  16. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7872 posts
    14 August 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Hey gorgeous Bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 Magic and all ☺

    So lovely seeing youse thank you always for your care and support. Such a comfort 🤗

    You're such an awesome friend Grandy being worried and looking up for me. I would probs have known that if I was an RN. Yip really fluffed up. Oh struth and paid severely for it but luckily am so much better just minimal pain now. Wow it hurt but I only did it because it worked on botty in the start.

    Grandy love yes doc said about the warm soaks. You're so kind doing that 💜

    Backs caught at times lately, seems touchwood to have eased. Wasnt super ouch but ouch and quick 😡

    I'm so angry. I have the referral now to get a local MRI rather than travel yes good.
    Was so happy the neurologist said yes he's (neurosurgeons) written about other back sections.
    I specifically asked about that for the MRI at least twice but Nah can see its just to check the dam syrinx! He probs was reading the dammed notes.

    God I've suffered horrendous pain over 35 yrs intermittently often.

    I said these short bursts of pain are so damned intense I'd be looking for other options... meaning the worst.

    At least I know so can get the 3 other sections checked further again. Geez guys LUSTEN! (Left the U there for my accent 😄)

    I've had previous MRI's on it. Not happy Jan!

    I know theres damage to the entire back/neck but these are phenomenal outs always have been & these are different again. Not bad atm.
    Owh SO hacked off!. Sorry big vent

    I'll put in writing my history and tell how bad it was. Could barely walk in screaming pain to turn in bed get out move etc. Unbelievable agony and excrutiating it was everytime.
    Clearly I didn't emphasise enough how bad it is now. Crikey!

    Yes Tele health Grandy with Carbuncles lovey.
    I'm on 2 more pkts antibiotics to be thorough.

    Oh Pawsy if you're around lovey forgot to ask but thinking G.Staphs multi resistant to antibiotics and phew these do respond too but I'll mention when I think of ☺

    Grandz I think the heat packs helped them burst. I'm the Carbuncle Queen 👑 if anyone wants some they're quite cheap.

    Monks thanks lovey for dropping by and your support hun. Good seeing you 🤗
    Yip reckon I'm pretty fit now from the 💃to China 😅 yip Grandz thinking to enter the Olympics.

    Tired. Thank you amazing people. Love to youse. ☺

    Grandy it really goes deep dear lady you're such a friend. Never will we not be bbff's 👩‍❤️‍👩💜💗👀🤝👂

    Night huns 😚🤗

    2 people found this helpful
  17. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    10015 posts
    15 August 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hey Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, and everyone..🤗..

    Waves 👋 and hugs 🤗..Paws and Magic...

    Can you ring up the referring doctor and speak to him about getting the other part of your back mri ed as well...maybe he can fax another referral over to the mri people...just in case he forgot to put it on your referral....I’m sure he would do that for you since you’re going there anyway...Please..try again to get him to understand your pain and concerns..🤗.

    I think I will pass on the offer of cheap carbuncles...thanks anyway...bbff.....

    Deebi...honey, I know pain can be very intense and we think that it will never ease...but thinking the worse..( I know what you mean😢)...as an option is so not true...A call to the ambulance, is the option you should think about, they have ways of quieting the pain...and might investigate your back further then you have been investigated..if that makes any sense...

    Please be very careful with your back...I do worry about you that you do too much at times...

    Thinking of you with warm ness, lots of love and care..💭💜🦋🧸🤗..and super soul hugs..definitely 100% 4 eva bbff’s..

    Sending my care, hugs and love to you all..🦋🤗💜..

    2 people found this helpful
  18. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7872 posts
    16 August 2020

    BP follow on from last.

    Day 6ish bought on ? through pain.

    First one. About 3 doses of mania. First two short bursts.
    Surprising not realising till later because you feel SO amazingly good. Wayyy better than normal.
    Maybe cause it puts you fully in the moment. How to explain something so incredible. Ditto for the opposite.

    I love how the brain sharpens. It's like everythings in sync working at optimum.
    It's when flashes of genius sneak in.
    You see clearly what and how you can achieve things. Mindblowing

    I'm starting to learn how to drive this magnificence.
    As with depression we need to direct where we want our thoughts going. I've been doing in normals mainly focusing on positives and gratitude.

    Still all over the shop but slower and more controllable thinking.

    2nd BP. This one's been not too bad so far.
    GREAT mania. Alert as you do become. Appreciating pretty much everything as ya do.

    When the downs at times try to take me further I'm starting self taking more successfully. Working. I don't like being short or feeling that way. Hard enough even when it's calmer let alone having the turds.

    Now I definately understand type 2 BP.

    Manias still the ultimate but in a more relaxed way. Although the last one was calm my body was still very tense which happens.

    Still very mixed episodes.

    I still think this potentially could be bought on with control as I was hoping. We'll see cause in mania anythings achievable which nearly is true anyway.

    Pulled out of the 1st one ok. Wow good to say.

    Handled about 1 to 2 hrs of solid ptsd constant thoughts although not taking too much to heart it was annoying but stayed calm and dealt by not allowing further thought or feeling on the hundred subjects.

    Was so beautiful the main mania but was quite tired and
    managed to day sleep needed but a shame to lose the bliss on waking it mostly choofed.

    Over about 3/4 days previous to mania at various times I had extreme bursts of that horrid distressing feeling I assumes extreme anxiety. It distresses me as much as the deepest darks. You need to bust out of your chest. Horrid. Like you're smothered & desperately trapped.

    When I became aware self talk settled me. Truly bloody awful!

    Thanks for listening and for incredible support ☺

    1 person found this helpful
  19. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    10015 posts
    16 August 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...

    Sitting with you...holding tightly.🤝 👀..

    A gentle reminder..to don’t forget to tell yourself positive things daily.....To keep Beasty running in the opposite way...

    🌹🦋💜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌈💭🧸🤝👀

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...🕊🌱

    2 people found this helpful
  20. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7872 posts
    17 August 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    You're such a beautiful friend Mrs bbff 🤗 hi everyone 👋

    Thank you always precious lovely ☺

    mmm nice mania lasted around 3 days this time. Yum & so mild.

    Caught my thoughts going South a few times. It's easier to stop the trance like downs this may sound a little warped. If you're aware you're thinking them. It's kinda autopilot otherwise.

    Been out 4 times lately it's been so lovely with Mr gorgeous 😍 a couple of times lunch at a beautiful spot and smallish walks YAY 👏 . Tea tonight with his housemates we talk often on ph with his besty who's a good friend of mine too.

    Now I just have to tell my non mania side that I intend to keep walking. Foots ouching but not bad. Definately next on the list.

    Blow it didn't think about soft sand in parts on tiny bushwalk hills stirring my back. 4 medium ouch catches today. Never good.

    Went to Indian tonight was yum. Darling shouted. We do for eachother at times and buy little prezzies.

    Yes thanks Grandy lovely I'm going to I think write about history of my back & now. I asked Mr 😍 if I emphasised enough about the pain and he said yes. Then ask GP on the same email to back me up tho he's not seen the worst of back probs but has seen some.

    Grandy I've in the past not that often gone to hospitals but I have some. Do you know I've never thought apart when I couldn't stand up even filled with the zonking meds calling ambo. Over the yrs I've just hacked it as much as po but filled with pain relief. These days I'm pretty much like Croixy have mostly here what they give their. It's cruel savage pain.

    Yes I knew you'd know what I meant. Honey I do also have other options like them giving me knock ya silly needle before getting up. Seriously I'd rather soil the bed than do that particular back breaking pain again. But sadly yes that's a very last choice but I'm getting onto this hun I'm still bloody angry but won't let him know just yet I don't want to get excuse the pun 😉 peoples backs up. Easier to get things done in good harmony but if I need to speak up no probs either.

    Manias how it should be. You're alive. You want to breathe & be in it. I don't mean I'm unhappy other times in fact Mr beautiful said I'm the happiest person he's ever known and that's a strong thing peeps like in me but it's not this.

    Been meaning to say Grandy darlin I loved and think so often what you said in Paulys thread that you don't think we're always happy etc.

    Running out 💜u4evsbbff 👩‍❤️‍👩💜⚘💗🗯👀

    2 people found this helpful
  21. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    10015 posts
    19 August 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩....and all....🤗..

    I love hearing that you went out 4 times..that’s really good for you...Little quaint cafes..and walks as well..I am so very proud of you bbff...,Ohhh Indian food...love curry..the 🔥 hotter the better...

    Good girl writing out the immense pain you’ve had..I hope they listen to you..although I think they will because if they deny you a mri where you want/need it..they are not doing their duty of care..and if something is wrong that shows up later..they will be in trouble....Keep pressing for it honey...Please..Just not fair you’ve been in so much pain over so many years without proper investigation happening..

    I am beginning to believe that happiness is an emotion..Like every other emotion it comes in good times when we do things we like, when we are with people we love and care for..then it dissolves and we are neither happy or sad..just normal....Just my thoughts Deebi...

    Awe I think that’s so cute and sweet buying each other little prezzies and taking each other out on dates....🌹🕊🌱...

    Mania is good isn’t it...Please bbff try hard to not let the downs put a cloud over ther feelings and thoughts of mania..once it’s gone....If we wrote out our mania thoughts, maybe in the downs we can read them..so we remember that beauty is only a temporary tenant in our brains...

    Okay sweet Deebi....I am wishing you a beautiful sleep with peaceful dreams..,and that the brightest star tonight drops some brilliant star dust over you for tomorrow...

    Deep love my bestest ever bbff... with all my care and kindness I have...🕊🌱💜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🧸🤗🕊🌈..

    Good night precious Friend....and everyone...

    Grandy👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩....🌜🕊🌱🌛🤝👀

    2 people found this helpful
  22. Peppermintbach
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Peppermintbach avatar
    4566 posts
    20 August 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi wonderful DB (& a wave to all),

    I smiled when I read about how you’ve had some dates and quality time with Mr Deebi. He sounds like such a loving and reassuring presence in your life. I’m happy that you found each other :)

    The back pain that was exacerbated by your bushwalking doesn’t sound so pleasant though. It sounds excruciating...

    Much love, some blueberry muffins and Supersoul hugs xoxo

    1 person found this helpful
  23. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7872 posts
    20 August 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Dear Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 Peppystar ☘ and readers 👋

    BP. Day ?
    I'm nearly out of it.
    Wow was able to handle the darks. There were a few but when I snapped out of the avalanche of feeling [IT]🤗⚘🕊 geez it takes you deep I stopped the negative thoughts and tried at times to see positives in the sitch or thought about happies. Worked! Very few scenarios or intrusive thoughts. Joy.

    Both up/down it makes you feel things SO much stronger. You're completely roar even tho in full blown mania you're bullet proof, still sensitive plus though.
    Not so much bullet proof now but insanely happy and everything else.

    Can't believe I'm coming out with minimal hards.

    Barely exhausted either wow how refreshing, just a bit tired unless I'm still in mild mania.
    Slept a lot today. Maybe 2moz too.

    Heya gorgeous bbff 🤗
    Oh hun you can have the 🔥 mine was mild. Yebaa just a bit too much breathing fire. Deendys 🐉 got nothing on me.

    Oh Mr Deebi 😍 shouted me lunch and a couple of things we need in the house. He remembered I loved a little stuffed toy the gorgeous I was so spoilt. So cute 💗

    Oh happies they rang today about the MRI. I spoke to the secretary about getting my other 2 areas of the back scanned.
    Hoping ok tho missed a couple of calls from them today.
    Apparently he did write for one area, I hadn't said about the other but have now. It didnt appear on the request so its good it was cancelled cause it can be done hoping soon around here.

    Really good thinking about happiness darlz. There's a lot of sense in that.

    So we need to concentrate on what stops us then we can work out the how to get around it. Yes depressions nasty business alright.
    We'll work it out sweetyheart 🤗

    Temporary tenant in our brains. Good wording Floss 👍

    Ohh SO nice the brightest star dropping star dust 😀 thanks Mrs gorgeous.
    So so much love. So nice being so close to you my dear besty friend. Thank you for a beautiful visit ☺🤗👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🤝🔥

    Hiya dear Peppy and so nice seeing you thank you for your visit ☺

    Yep the backs given me unbelievable extreme pain over the yrs. Glad I realised why it became stirred again so yip away from soft sand so hard to walk in too.

    He's precious Peppy so in love.

    Please take care of yourself huns I know you're doing it hard/er lately.
    Huge loving warm 🤗
    Oh and thank you loven the muffins love and soul hugs are a beautiful treat ☺💗

    Nigh nite lovely people sleep well and wake refreshed and ready ⚘🍃

    1 person found this helpful
  24. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    10015 posts
    21 August 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, lovely Peppy and all....🤗..

    Wow so good Deebi..you’re getting so much stronger getting out of the BP darks....Thinking of positive and happy thoughts does work and lifts our spirits high enough for beasty to be blasted right out of the middle of that volcano..hopefully a long way away so it takes longer for him to find you....Keep those happy thoughts alive dearest bbff...

    I am hoping so much that they listen to your concerns about your back and follow through for you honey...I mean really you’re already getting the other parts done, while your there doesn’t take much more to do the other 2 parts of your back..Hmm Dr Grandy will definitely have to have a word or two with my apprentice Drs...😂..

    Soft toys are so cute..and can be good to talk to..they have a magical way of making us feel good when we hold them close to us...Here you go bbff..another soft toy for your collection... um thinking 🤔.. thinking 💭..oh yeah..howz about a fluffy 🐿.squirrel.. and a nice tiny brush so you can brush the bushy tail, for some mindfulness..when needed 🕊..

    Your Welcome with the Star dust...I have millions of stars 🌟 looking at me every night...they remind me of our beautiful fun times we have and still will have...love you very much dearest bestie friend...🐿🤝👀🌟🌈🧸🤗💜🤝

    Hello Peppy...I know you’re struggling so hard at the moment..sending you a beautiful peace bird 🕊..with a calming rose scented candle being carried in its mouth..

    kind wishes and caring thoughts dear everyone..🦋😂💜🤗

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...🌜👋🌛

    2 people found this helpful
  25. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7872 posts
    22 August 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi beautiful Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and readers 👋

    Yes it's really good starting to handle the downs. I don't and may never trust that they'll always be easier but that's probs beasty nag!

    Even if it's in mania which as you'd know everythings clear and easier, although you don't have as many highs. I reckon that's so unfortunate because we know how deep the darks go poor love 🤗

    Think my emojis are being naughty and not going to show.
    🤔 Wonder if Croixy put a hex on them 😉

    Definately Grandz hapoy thoughts and thinking about what I'm grateful for which is a lot.

    In depression someone saying think of positives can be like yeh right and be water off a ducks back but it really does help doesn't it.

    Yes it doesn't seem too unreasonable them doing my other 2 parts of the back. Very needed.
    There's big $ with MRI's I don't remember exactly but think it was just the syrinx or neck that would have cost around $2,000. Through a specialist it's bulk billed thank goodness.

    Today the mongrel in the morning caught twice. I only had one catch yesterday and thought good its mending again.
    Disappointing over and over but I need to desparately get this weight off.

    I have started littles with naughty 🍫 ...bad choccy ..behave yourself...no darling not really...I was just twicken I love you O great choccy bar ... can I stop bowing now it's no good for my back...please come back to Mama.

    Oh I do love Dr Grandy 👩‍🏭 😅 you tell em huns 🤗 hands on hips...foot tapping...

    They are lovely and cute soft toys and colourful too. Yip they keep secrets 😊

    Ohhh SO cute the little squirrel thank you Floss and how's that gorgeous little brush I can use it on our virtual kitties too 🐶🦊 after I frizz up the tail.

    Ohhh I think and think about your gorgeous stars and bushy areas with wildlife just love it all.
    Oh Grands swod (some way some day) 💗

    Thanks always dear friend. You mean the world to many I know and especially me 😚🤗 bbff 💗

    👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🤝 this glue will never unstick.

    Hope you're holding up ok sweetyheart. We're right here gorgeous love 🤗

    2 people found this helpful
  26. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    10015 posts
    24 August 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...and everyone...🤗..

    I hope they do, do the other parts that need doing...too much hurt you’re having daily and of course you would have anxiety worrying if and when it will catch you again...poor honey..

    How are you feeling?...

    We had some sunshine today..but still to cold to sit out front...maybe tomorrow...🌞...

    I have been eating choc Wheaton biscuits..haha half healthy...half not..😂..Loven the conversation with your inner critic...over the chocolate 🍫..you won that round...

    Swsd...it has to happen Deebi...

    The wild life is dwindling away from the front of mine..to much culling..(to put it more kindly)... out my way...so sad..I hope that the callers come back as kangaroos...not nice to say..I know but a life is a life regardless of what form it takes at birth...

    I hope you and Mr.Deebi are making many happy memories to talk about, with some happiness in your beautiful hearts and souls...

    My love to you dearest bbff...today and 4 eva....bear hugs which warms your souls lovely bbff...💜🧸🤗👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌜🌈🌛..

    My Care and kind wishes to everyone...🌹🤗🦋💜.

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...🌟🔥🎉💭🕊🌱

    1 person found this helpful
  27. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7872 posts
    25 August 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 and all 😊

    Always love your company lovey & that you so genuinely care, many thanks Grandy 🤗

    Touchwood my backs healing again. Yes the anticipation/dread is quite a trial.
    Well after over a mth from the extreme worst sitting on the side of the bed I avoid cause it caught so much. Confidence regains with recovery.

    Never before on back outs has my butt cheeks & back top of thighs felt pain and difficulty walking.
    They know. They've often asked re the syrinx.
    It's freaking me a bit but what gives me some hope is further into the walk I'm a bit better.

    Neurologist said the muscle damage in my arms from the syrinx. It pains and cramps instantly on certain movements but otherwise functional.

    The mania lasted longer than I thought and a little refreshed I think from walking. Such a fine line balancing stimulation.

    My mood yesterday wasn't whooptee. I'm starting to be able to pull out of those dreary downs or being a bit short which I try so hard not to be and with dear Mr 😍 Deebi
    He's fine about it. I apologise immediately and trying to remember it's not intentional if he's slow on learning something that I have patience in normals and usually mania or if he misunderstands a direction.
    He's so lovely and I feel like a heel if I'm like that.

    The depression changes completely how we see things and react. That sweet man has thick skin..must ask where he got that. Wonder if it's cheap 😄 otherwise a few times I caught the avalanches of deep downs and wow what a horrible nightmare I was so damned happy to wake from yesterday.

    This time I had some not many sleepers. Needed two night before but halleh can honestly say more ups than downs WOW!

    Keeping the positive thoughts gratitude and realisation about whats going on.

    This beautiful man I love deeply and him me too helps no end as well.
    If we talk about needs he doesn't meet some of my main ones that some I'm slowly introducing him to which is hard because he's not automatically that way but he tries where he can.

    I also realised he meets a great deal of needs though because I adore the man he's such a love and for many other reasons and very easy to love and be with.
    We're in some ways similar /opposite. He's quiet but chats. I'm loud & chatty usually

    Hope everyone's managing to think of good memories hopes or something that makes you smile.

    Heaps of love Grandy and so much gratitude having you in my life and being here.

    👩‍❤️‍👩💜😍🕊🏋️‍♀️💃love her🌜🌞🌛



    1 person found this helpful
  28. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    10015 posts
    26 August 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

    Its good you think your back is beginning to heal..and your taking precautions of what you know puts it out...good girl....yep confidence does grow within us when things start to heal...but please dearest bbff take things nice and slow....I wish the specialist back surgeon etc..knew more about back/spine/nerves etc...Treatment has come a long way..but still a long way to go....The spine and neck is under investigation for new treatments and will be an ongoing learning experience for the med students, doctors, specialists...so much can go wrong with it..and so delicate as well...

    Awe that’s okay honey...Mr Deebi, loves and cares for you...he knows the person you are, gentle,kind,caring. He knows that BP is making you a little short..It doesn’t change who you are...BP is a part of you..and Mr.Deebi will always love that part of you as well...I know I do..🤗..

    If you find out where to get the thick skin from..please let me know😂..

    Being grateful daily is a lovely idea..today I’m grateful for the warm sunny day today...for you my bbff, always holding on tightly to me...and this wonderful BB family...Howz about you Deebi,,,,are you grateful for some things from today,,.,Hmmm.I pass you on my word and get just a crumb of 🍫 ..I thought at least 2 crumbs.😂..

    Keep those positives running through your brain and thoughts Deebi..they can only help us...lots of love bbff..swod...will happen dearest friend..👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌟🧸🤗🤝👀💜thoughts 💭 24/7..pubaok....

    My kind wishes and caring hugs everyone,,👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🦋💜.

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy.

    ps...Good night dear friends..

    1 person found this helpful
  29. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7872 posts
    27 August 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi sweetyheart 👩‍❤️‍👩 and readers ☺

    Thanks huns for such a lovely post as always. Your and others support means the world.

    It's quite late atm so I'll bbt probs later darlin ☺

    Bbq tomoz with Mr 😍 besty friend and couple other friends then we're going shopping then depending if pretty tired another day sleep.

    Wow thought I'd come out of BP but nah was a bit blaghh teary and in general yuk. Pulling out I can manage better now but still hard work just not devastatingly hard.

    Not exactly complaining because its great how far I've come but may have been mania the follow through that made me think I was ok again. Still more ups than downs phew.

    Mhw today so we had a little blat. Oops managed to lock us out today so had to get the key took some time off our drive and we did a little shopping too which is easier for tomoz.

    Yeh so was pretty average and unexpected this morning. Probs relaxed too much and beasty thought I left the door open for [IT] 💗

    Catch you tomoz bbff. Really hope you're ok lovey, see you tomoz at yours. Have read huns ☺

    Sending through the computer tonnes of love my gorgeous friend. Always dear Grandz ☺🤗

    🌜👩‍❤️‍👩😍💜🕊🌱🌛

    1 person found this helpful
  30. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    10015 posts
    28 August 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..and everyone...🤗.

    I hope you’re bbq went great today honey and you had lots of yummy eats and heaps of laughing talks and some warm hello hugs...

    Youre doing an amazing job, the way you’re pulling out of the downs...you are doing really good and wow you really have come a long way...I am so proud of you..I hope you are as well.....more ups then downs..Well done honey..

    Oh no..you locked 🔒 yourself out of your 🏠 home...Did you have to try and climb in through a window? or does a neighbour or friend have a spare key 🔑...Poor darling 😂.

    Here you go bbff..a key 🔑 to lock that door 🚪 of yours..so beasty..can’t sneak in..[IT]..can squeeze through the smallest speck of that little darkness we all have in us...We need to close the door tightly each night we go to sleep...leave yesterday behind the locked door, and start fresh every day..

    Big love Deebi..💜🌹🦋..SSS...yadimh always...4 eva...swod..swsd.....💭👀🤝...

    Good night dearest bbff and everyone...I hope you all have a good sleep...

    Sending my kindest wishes with my care,,,🦋🤗

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...

    2 people found this helpful

Stay in touch with us

Sign up below for regular emails filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones.


Sign me up