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Forums / Long term support over the journey / Surviving: Being in a better place

Topic: Surviving: Being in a better place

  1. demonblaster
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    29 August 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi beautiful Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and all

    Thanks dear Grandz yes the bbq was nice it's a lovely spot.

    😂 I'm picturing trying a window 🤤

    Thanks hun wow you just can't relax until you're well and truly out of these can you!

    Theres been several scenario thoughts of arguments.

    Several blaghh moods

    Several feeling down

    And that trapped feeling oow that's really horrid. Yes pleased hun but I think it's just so damned often it's waring me down but then this is 4th day with less than horrific struggles but still a lot to deal with.

    Lovely moments and good times in between.

    Love very much Mr Deebi we get on very well the love I'm sure that makes a mammoth dif.

    Thought how good no scenarios or ptsd but easier to handle just had enough of the bloody work you have to do.

    Yip was mania until about 4 days ago. Same as you Grandz going ok but hard work at the same time.

    Love your key and door 😅 you always make me smile or laugh. Love you heaps honey.

    [IT]⚘makes you see a lot in a negative way but easier than most of my life in BP geez the horror of the downs.

    Nigh nite darlin. Hope you're doing reasonably well 🤗😚👩‍❤️‍👩😍💜🤝👀🕊🗯💗

    Anyhoo I'll bbl sweetyheart and all.

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  2. Ggrand
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    31 August 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...and everyone..

    The bbq sounds special honey..and a nice spot as well...was their some beautiful trees and some nice memories you made to look back on and inspire you to go again...

    Yep..you’re so right..it’s hard to relax and get into a good mindset when in BP....It’s a bugger that it has to run its course..we can ease the course sometimes to make it easier on us..then again that’s hard to do and so tiring...Sleeping through the down days I try to do, because they are yucky thoughts running a marathon inside our brains....

    That rapped feeling is the worse..I want to run away from it..trouble is..it comes along uninvited..and destroys any peaceful thoughts....If we could understand why our mind picks up on those negative thoughts and throws away the positive thoughts..then we can win each downer...

    Scenarios honey are just our negativity trying to push us further into submission to cause problems/trouble with the ones that love us...We done have to carry out those scenarios, they are like day dreams...maybe write or draw your scenario out on paper, so you can either read it or see it..and work out a way to put positives into it...maybe have a journal just for that..

    Been thinking of you honey but not replied until now..my weekend was a crappy sad one..My neighbour saw me on Saturday sitting out the front, then me sitting and standing out back staring into nothingness totally lost and confused..she knocked on her window and called me over for tea...she said she saw me crying..I thought I hid it well...This is Mrs Cranky..I think I better change her name to mrs caring...I stayed a couple of hours with her..Wow how nice was that...

    I love that you have Mr. Deebi with you to look out for you..he is a treasure...meant to be...Your good for each other..and that is gold..

    I hope you’re getting enough sleep precious bbff..it helps..I noticed you were up past midnight last night...hands on hip, tapping my foot..but with love and care for you...always will love my bbff...💜🦋🕊🌱..🌜🧸🧡🤗🌛..

    Enjoy today the best you both can...and look after yourselves and each other...always here for you dearest friend...I’m so happy that your in my life...swod.. 💭 of you..

    My care, love and hugs everyone..🦋💜🤗..

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...🌜👀🤝🌛..24/7..

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  3. demonblaster
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    1 September 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Dear Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 hi any readers ☺

    Oh Grandy 🤗..SO good to see you honeyheart. Geez I missed you. Mean it lovey I don't want ever you feeling obliged to post if you're not up to. Just as you know it's great seeing you to know if you're ok tho not eh hun 🤗
    I started noting a post for yours,
    an ruok & bit mucking around. Some time I'll finish to hopefully give you a 😀
    It's hard enough in the darks, sometimes we need time out or just simply time out. I get it 🙂

    You're go through so much and on top the VC counselling. You were in a really bad place Grandy love. I'm so sorry you're hurting so much 🤗 Makes me so sad & frustrated. I SO wish swod!

    How beautiful Mrs Caring looked after you. Who'd of thought she'd be a friend like this.
    So glad slowly your friend and support circles growing.

    Do you think that other thread could be hard on you too lovey., I understand 🤗

    Still going through the motions of getting back to normal.
    Heaps of happies between but doesn't it go on. I had a really good mania this time & not so short yum.

    The scenarios are annoying. I feel like it's a bit whacky.
    That's right lovey nah I'd never act on anything. In my worst times never any desire to. Opposite actually I don't want to be arguing or fighting with people.

    Yip could be stress finding an out with Beasty brat throwing [IT]'s 2 bob in. I want change 😅 get it change & currency change.
    It's like what the!

    That & Ptsd I'm hearing but mostly pulling up on the nags staying or start for too long. Long enough tho.

    Had another horrid trapped. They don't last too long. They make you hyperfocus on the feeling.
    Yeh it does feel like you need to escape.
    Mines the desparate need to get outside which I usually don't. A strong feeling.
    Not exactly sure how I take them down but do. Bloody awful!

    Never have liked but starting to pull up when you feel so cynical and negative picky etc in the downs.

    Easier but still hard work.

    Not daily day sleeping but still a fair bit. Need a lot always have.

    Sweety a few things I've forgotten to reply to you.
    Love and appreciate you & here helps SO much thanks to you and other such amazing people 🤗

    Nigh nite lovey yip another late one. Oops again. Hands on hips. You too gorgeous 😄 sprung 😉

    👩‍❤️‍👩💜🤗👀🤝

    Thanks Grandy advice support dear dear bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩💜 you're the best 😚

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  4. Ggrand
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    1 September 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, and everyone...🤗..

    You’re doing a good job honey...we will get their...soon I hope...

    I have a very hard time with PTSD triggers...it takes me days sometimes weeks to get out of it...Knocks us down before we even know what’s happening...I think that’s why it’s hard for us to get out of them...because no thoughts before at all before we go down...it’s just a one way ride full speed down a long slippery dip, full of slippery soap bubbles...then trying to climb up the slippery metal slide again....Two steps up then slide right back down again...I hope you get to the top of the slide soon bbff..here honey take my hand 🖖 and I’ll pull you out.💪..

    When you feel trapped Deebi..and you feel trapped and want to go outside...Maybe just walk to your door and then outside even for 5 minutes..it might help you..or even onto your balcony...maybe just try and go with what you desperately need to do....Oh dear I remember when I felt trapped and got in my car for an escape and ended up 8 hours away at my brothers..then a night in a strange hospital...I don’t drive off anymore when I’m triggered...I put myself into too much danger...Please be careful when your down with PTSD..

    Sleep is good for you/us Deebi..it’s healing both mind and body..sleep as much as you need to...you can only sleep as much as the body needs it..

    I miss you too Deebi...Just not the best over the last week...talk on mine soon or later...

    Much deep love dear bestie friend..with big bear 🐻🤗.....🌜💜🌛...

    My care, love and hugs to everyone listening..🦋💜🤗.

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..pubaok..lysvm..yadimh..and 💭..

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  5. demonblaster
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    1 September 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 and everyone hi ☺

    Hey darlin just dropping in ...take note dropping in to throw the kettle on...sort of..
    Thought a yum creamy hot chocolate made on milk 🍷 would be 😲.. O Yeh baby... vrr ...screeeech...Oh 💩 said Deebi watching the little birdies flying in a circle above her head 🤕 ...nah too embarrassed 😶 to say what happened ... but pwomish... I'll fix the roof 🛠📎..mmm 🤔 where did I put that chewing gum ...🗨

    Ok so if you'd like to sit back down my darling in your favourite seat ... oh sorry darl I'll just dust it off ... 🌬...I know sweetyheart... there there...here's a nice hot cuppa tea 🍼 ...oh I know love it must have been a nasty shock having not only such a big super charged turbo Harley vroom bike 🚴‍♀️ but a body crashing in through the ceiling... um...I might just grab the vacuum cleaner ⛹️‍♀️ ...for later.

    Just wanted to see you darlin and ask RUOK 🌈. When you're quiet I know you're doing it hard. It's quite often I find in the hard times to write what's going on. There's so much or too hard to express or both.
    Sometimes we need time out don't we lovey. Gently smoothing your hair.
    As you know it's so hard not knowing if eachother or others here are ok. thanks beautiful for being in touch I'll reply tomoz lovey it's late again.

    Can't stand you doing such hard times alone Grandy it's so unfair. I'm positive we could help eachother so much more. swod 😐

    What can I do to help Grandz? If I can I will gladly...just not so sure about sharing Peppys choccy though...🍫

    Love you so so much Grandz
    PuAbok ..U2 .. yAdimh bbff4evs darlin 🤗😚👩‍❤️‍👩💜🍫🤝👀🕊 wished for you sweet deserving lady 💗

    We WILL find our way through this.
    It's happening slowly but surely.

    ☀️🕊💗🤝🌱

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  6. demonblaster
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    1 September 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    😂 oopsy sposed to be on your thread me lovely ☺

    Bbt here thanks for your understanding and support Grandy.

    Huge love dear bbff friend 😚🤗 👩‍❤️‍👩💜

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  7. blondguy
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    2 September 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hey Hey DeeBee!

    I hope you have been doing ok! Its always great to read your wonderful posts not to mention your excellent profile pic :-)

    Bear Hugs always

    Paul

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  8. Ggrand
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    4 September 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Paul and all...🤗.

    Thats okay Deebi, here or mine is okay..I visit you so much and you me..so alls good...

    Thank you for falling through my roof..it’s raining here and I’ve had to dig out my bath tub and drag it into the lounge room to catch the waterfall cascading down into my lounge room😂..My dogs are hiding thinking they are going to get another bath...

    Deebi...honey you being here for me and chatting, fantasising, smashing my veranda and roof..Is the best ever way you can ever help me...I’m very lucky, did you know that..because I have a home, a car, food, water and the very best and precious thing I have is you...oh but a piece of 🍫 will help...

    I’m okay Deebi...How about you, how are you doing lovey..I know you’ve been coming down from bp as well as you’ve been in ptsd downer...hope you still are coming up bbff..Pubaok....Love you..💜..big soul hugs with a bear..that makes it a bear soul hug 🐻🧸...

    Keep pushing those negative thoughts away and fill that part up with positives..Mr Deebi and your beautiful gift of him..the unicorns pictures you saw...the stars, moon and sun..clouds..flowers..our little kitties..🐆🐅..and puppies.🐩🐕..the beach and driftwood..little walks...so many more positives...they are all around you...locked in your mind..the more negatives you push out the more room for positives to grow...

    Please look after you dear bbff..the way that I would..

    My love, care, and hugs..💜🦋🤗..

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

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  9. demonblaster
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    4 September 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Beautiful Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 hi dear Pauly ☺ lovely seeing you both 🤗

    Thanks Pauly for your kind words.
    Oh and yours too I've always loved your profile pic.
    Ditto bear hugs always. A good hugs great therapy.
    Hope you're doing well budz 🤗

    Dear Grandy hiya bbff 🤗
    I said before about not replying to some things you said. Sorry I meant to say communicating esp the last couple of days has been mad. It's in my head but was coming out fragmented/forgetting, broken sentences etc & before at times too. I meant to say I want to reply but 🙃

    You just can't relax during BP eh. I'm nearly out of it. Cripes feels like a month this one.
    Quite tired no exhaustion for a nice change.
    Late nights not always day sleeps some earlier mornings for outs & pain knocks us about.

    Back I keep thinking oh good it's improving then catches a couple times when early out of bed. I'm barely bending. Distressing. Crushes confidence.

    It's mostly ok later in the days.

    Carbuncles clearing. 3 lots of antibiotics.

    True no thoughts before PTSD.
    Boom suddenly you're right down clueless to why. Rollercoaster.

    At least had a longer mania by far than what I thought which was 4/5 days so longer than that.
    This down mutts dragged on ages.

    I think too you're bang on about [IT]⚘ having to go through the motions Grandz.
    There seems no stopping it. Just learning to ride them. Wooo there ya mongrel beasty...sit..heel...good now go and play with the traffic!

    So true trying to climb the slippery slope. Thanks for your 🖖😊

    Good thoughts hun I'll try to get outside it makes sense.
    I remember well you driving 8 hrs. Was scary 😯
    Thing is it's SO full on as you know & overpowering.
    I feel I HAVE to get on top of it asap. So consuming.
    It's that I fear it coming on harder if that's possible if I don't work on it immediately.

    You crack me up hun 😂 love your comments about the roof.

    Thought you might enjoy a nice waterfall in your tub 🛁.

    I'm seriously thinking 🤔 of going into interior decorating or maybe air conditioning 🌬 because it seems I'm such a natural don't ya think 😅

    Love you heaps Mrs Grandy Floss 🤗 pubAok too huns. Couldn't bear not having you as a bbff for evs. Means the world.

    Nigh night peeps ☺🤗👩‍❤️‍👩💜🗯🛁🌬🌿

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  10. Paw Prints
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    7 September 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Deebi,

    Popping in to give you a gentle bear hug lass.

    You have been going through the wars, haven't you. It's good to hear those nasty carbuncles are clearing.

    Hmmmm....your redecorating at Grandy's place has me wondering if perhaps you might be part Great Dane??? You seem to have the same co-ordination & you definitely have that special something that makes people love you & forgive every ooops. 😅

    Here are some more hugs & some Kahlua 🍫

    Paws

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  11. Ggrand
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    7 September 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Heel Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Paws..and everyone..

    Awe Deebi I’m sorry honey that I have taken a while to drop in to see you..but you’re always in my thoughts.,sometimes it’s hard to get the right words out...

    I agree that if we don’t work on getting ourselves up and out of the BP..or PTSD downers quick, that’s when it takes hold of us..It’s hard and exhausting fighting ourselves..but as you’ve always said to me dearest bbff..it’s well worth it..I’m always holding your hand...never letting it go..ever..

    lol I wish beastly would play with 🚗 🚙 🚘..😂..

    Paws..I spent days repairing my roof...While I was up their Deebi....I built a few chairs on top of the roof....for watching the stars together....Forgot to build a ladder to get up their though..maybe an elastic tied to the gum tree and we could sling shot ourselves up their..😂.,enough chairs for everyone...

    Please look after you Deebi....that’s goes for everyone..Be kind and gentle with yourselves..

    Always deep love bbff...💜🐻🤗🦋🌹🌱.Umm I intersected the Kahlua...ooh they were yummy..um I left one for you on your patio table..☺️.

    My care, love with hugs everyone..🦋💜🤗.

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🌹🚘🦄🐉🌈

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  12. demonblaster
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    8 September 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi lovely Pawsy 🐾 Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and all 🖐

    Thank you loves for popping in and always for your support 🤗

    Pawsy that was a lovely healing hug sweet lass. Will always love that touch of Scotty. Lads nice too.

    The last 3 ish yrs my bodies constantly giving me a hard time.
    Great to be healing in parts.
    Backs still iffy but ok today, with a nearly ouch or out unsure which. Respecting it.

    Lovely comments thanks Pawsy 🤗
    😂 Yes I think Grandy seems quite happy with my airconditioning ideas and how ingenious her moving the bath 😂

    Love the commentaries on your gorgeous woofa 🐅
    Hope you're seeing some better days lovely you certainly deserve some mental peace too. Hard yakka isn't it. We'll get there darl we're capable of change and learning. We have to cause depressions no life.

    Grandy hey sweety 🤗 you too I really hope you're getting some reprieve from the constant nags geez they hound. Don't like you doing it so hard by yourself not that you are as you know here you're very loved 💜💗

    Truth darlin. I love seeing you daily but I don't expect that. Hun there's times we're not up to posting boy do I get that. And you have extra resposibility being a cc.i'm not reliable enough to commit to anything & my heads South so often self doubt etc. Proud of you ya know. You're so beautiful sorry if I made you feel guilty, hope not. Just didn't feel comfy not seeing you yesterday for some reason.

    That DBT sounds promising doesn't it. I'd like to but am making some ground tho no idea under stress how It'd be.
    Can't trust the mind yet but at least it's not the deep horrors. How it is lately's hard enough!

    I thought it might be more for people that have had heavy trauma, was thinking of you lovey.

    Yes the quicker if we can be aware of how we're feeling helps a lot.

    Grandz I was a mess for a while this episode it was sporadic and not super deep but god doesn't it ware you down. SO much goes on. Bloody scenarios memories self dislike picky not so much anger these days which is great. Feelings of insecurity a little paranoia at times. Concentration goes wow memories a joke. Was having trouble a couple days at times even putting sentences together wow. Crap pretty much but still easier. Flipping hard tho eh.

    Absolutely rapt with this dear lovely Mr Deebi 😍 He's so easy to love. Beautiful having love again and viceversa.

    Grandy deep love dear soul sis. I so hope you're finding reasons to be happy in your days. You're the best huns💜👩‍❤️‍👩🦋🌈💗👀🤝

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  13. Ggrand
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    9 September 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..Paws...and all..

    Hi honey..Please don’t feel insecure with me lovely bbff..I am always here for you..I hope you know ht..I do know hat BP does make us feel confused and insecure..it happens to me quite a fair bit...The sporadic/mixed episodes are much harder to manage...You’re doing a good job Deebi..and I’m very proud of you...

    On my way to work yesterday..I was mesmerised by the beautiful scenery...The hills and mountains re so green with a gumtree here and their, It really is a beautiful drive, passing hills, mountains, cows, sheep and llamas grazing on the greenness...I think more farmers are adding llamas..

    on one side of the road..oh it’s so peaceful..the canola flowers are blooming full on..against the dark green of the rolling hills..in front is the prettiest yellow canola flowers coving all in the foreground..So beautiful I wish you could see it...The other side of the road is dark green canola plants with the odd flowers here and their.no doubt by next Tuesday they will be in full bloom....A lot of farmers after loosing their cattle to last year’s drought, must have planted the canola...

    The DBT sounds interesting and I will research it, when I have some time...I think it will be good, to learn more..

    Awe Deebi..no sweety you never made me feel guilty..was doing it hard for a while, but okayish now...I hope you are okay bbff...please be okay...love you so much..💜🐻🤗 ..

    It is hard, coming from a clear mind.,then bang it closes that far that joins words to make sense is nearly impossible..Always here for you..in good and especially bad times..I’m not ever going away...🤝 👀...never..you’re in my heart and soul deeply and warmly tucked away..💜🌹🦋..

    I hope your day is good today..it’s rainy here a little...my pyjamas are still on me 😂..not doing much today...

    My love, care and hugs everyone..🦋💜🤗..

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

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  14. demonblaster
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    9 September 2020 in reply to Ggrand
    Hey there bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 and all lovelies ☺

    Thank you Grandy I really appreciate that, well all of your posts tbh. You're a beautiful friend and yes I do know you're always here for me I'm so lucky.
    Same for you just as you know wow it's similar to a stroke it's in your mind then disjointed on delivery.
    It feels when you're down that it'll never change doesn't it but it does every time just sometimes it takes longer.

    Ok now thx lovey but still a few negatives floating around.
    In it it's rapid fire from every angle to pull us down isn't it and yes mixed is even harder work.

    I hope in time to enjoy the mania which is reasonable levels now and have full control over the downs. Sheesh don't they rule but it's in us I know it is!

    I think what makes it so hard for any type of depression is it's I'm guessing usually connected with lack of or broken sleep that saps our energy and depression feeds on the little we have.

    The llamas are cool aren't they.
    I love when you say about the surroundings. The animals, nature flowers they sound beautiful Grandy. I too wish I could see it all and you here it's so beautiful you'd love it and others too from here including Doolsy re beaches. Spare bed too.

    Hope work went well 🙂 You're good continuing doing that and those people you didn't know before. You're doing just fine my lady 🤗

    I'm pleased I've started lately not in mania I don't think, who'd know 😆 to do houseworky things that my back has prevented me from.
    I want to do something, doesn't have to be a biggy daily.
    My back ached standing so I ironed over 3 days. Don't mind ironing, think I'm the only one in the world 😂
    And to start a few things like an activity booklet for MIL and if it works out maybe make them for elderly stuck at home and lonely. Not sure if I'll go further but a thought.
    Mils been very sick and in hospital too. Out now recooping poor love.

    Yes understand okayish which is okayish 😊 because shame our recoverys not as instant as PTSD downs. So okayish means we're lifting back up again.
    What an ordeal it all is. Constant conflict against our own minds. Bizzare Isn't it.

    You too precious Grandy in my heart and soul always 🗯 love & appreciation.
    You're a darling. Don't let beasty tell you different dear lady ever! 🤗👩‍❤️‍👩💜🦄🤝👁💗
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  15. Ggrand
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    9 September 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hey beautiful lady...🐻🤗👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

    Its Good you’re doing some houseworky things..but please be careful not to twist or turn the wrong way...little bits each day is fine and eventually it will all get done..Their is no hurry....Ohh ironing Deebi..I don’t hate it but I don’t like it either...I try to buy everything that doesn’t need to be ironed...Younger days I used to iron everything...not now though...

    It is so beautiful out here, except when in drought..The road into town, is a winding one, over and around hills I enjoy the drive each time I take time to take it all in...

    I wanted to call in and wish you a good sleep tonight..and hoping no nightmares tonight lovely lady..I am sending my little dream fairies to keep your dreams nice and a beautiful rainbow for you to sleep under to keep you safe..

    Good night precious friend...Love you...4 eva..💜🌹🦋🐻..

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

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  16. demonblaster
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    10 September 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Mrs gorgeous 👩‍❤️‍👩 hi all ☺

    You're a sweety aren't you 🙂 always so good seeing you but remember darlin as long as I know you're ok precious.

    Had a whopping 🤕 other day. Most nights in fact I think every one I have the pillow away from my head. They come on in seconds on the pillow. At least can usually manage them that way a lot better.

    Yes was pleased I got the ironing done. I used to iron shirts/shorts for my late love and for Mr Deebi now. Not much of mine. It's starting I struggle with 😆

    The dream fairies and Rainbow are very beautiful you dear love thank you so much.

    Oh meant to say to you and Pawsy I have choccy cameras set up. You'll never get away with it nya ha ha my little lovelies.

    Oh and love the chairs on your roof huns great idea. Yes lets try the sling shot. I'll just take some measurements...back in a ticky.

    Hope everyone has good sleepies.

    Love sent to you dear Grandy wrapped in a big bouncy bubble. Can you see it bounding towards you filled with ohh what a shame I ate the choccy but a Tia Maria Simon and Garfunkle a Coffee frappe no allergies a night night music tape and all the love from your beautiful friends here including all our furs.

    Sleep well beautifuls. Always 🗯👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🤝🌈⚘

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  17. Ggrand
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    11 September 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..and everyone..🤗..

    Awe honey, sorry you’re getting those horrible migraines...Just a thought Deebi...maybe a couple of drops of eucalyptus oil on you pillow or even maybe on a tissue near enough to be able to smell it....Good you can move the pillow away and it helps..they really drag us down....hope they stop soon....

    Oh..no camera is going to stop me Deebi...I have an...wait a sec 💼..gotta looky...🎹..oops not that one..🎨.nope..ahh here it is..🎪..my invisible tent..I go inside and the tent and I are invisible.....hehe..

    i hope your feeling mentally okay..it’s hard isn’t it..going to bed and not knowing if our brain slept enough to wake up good...or no good...It’s kinda like drawing a lottery ticket each night...Winner gets a clear head...looser gets a chatty head....😁..

    Love my night time present....All my favourite yummies..Thank you beautiful bbff...

    Ivecstarted on a new 🎁 for you....Patients lovely lady..I’m working 🔩⚙️⛏🔨⚖️ on it...

    Sending you lots of good night wishes along with my deep love and care...💜🐻🤗🕊💭👀🤝..

    Love, hugs and care to everyone..💜🤗🦋.

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...🌱🕊🦄

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  18. demonblaster
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    11 September 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    😂 you're so gorgeous Grandy Floss love you to bits 🤗

    Yip glad I'm able to hold most 🤕 by moving the pillow. Got a super flat one like a pancake geesh even thats often too much.

    I'm told they're from my neck so not sure it it'd work but thank you for the thought lovely one unless could that ease them hun?

    Yes good mentally finally thanks sweety how bout you my dear lovely?

    😆 love you're doing a prezzy for me coool. Been thinking of yours heaps but can't hook onto it. Have some ideas but it stays there.

    Love you heaps beautiful thank you for your sweety post you're such a light in my life. Adore you. Always 🗯🤗💗👩‍❤️‍👩💜🤝👀🌈🦋

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  19. Ggrand
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    14 September 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deebi...and everyone...

    So happy to hear that your mh is being good for you...

    Oh honey, those headaches are awful for you I wish I could discover a way for you so they choof of forever, coming from your neck injury makes it so hard to stop or ease them, until it runs its course...Do they seem to come more when you lift something up that’s a bit heavy..or twist your neck the wrong way..,,..

    I hope your okay bbff...

    Oh it’s going to be a super special present 💝...that’s the only hint I’m giving you😂..

    I changed my lounge room around yesterday..and decided to donate a lot of my ornaments and my doll collection to Vinnies...around 50 dolls..I am going to keep one doll, my grandma gave me when I was around 10 years old...Getting rid of a lot of things I don’t really see/look at anymore let someone else enjoy them....

    I hope your day is as sunny as mine...and you can manage to soak up some sun...it’s healing..

    Love 💜 to you my bbff...with some gentle 🐻 🤗..

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🕊🌱.

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  20. demonblaster
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    14 September 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Hiya Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and readers 👋

    So nice seeing you thank you for popping in ya gorgeous lady 🤗

    When you're in poor mh it feels like it won't stop doesn't it. I must keep remembering it won't stay. Yes good thanks lovey.

    No I avoid lifting much now days with the back. The headaches come within seconds laying on a pillow. This is very flat and seems to be warding them off. I've been having it slightly under my shoulders seems to be working. Hoping anyway. Thanks sweety girl 😊 you're very sweet.

    😀 haha the only hint eh. Phooey pretty stuck on this one. Can't wait. Geesh not getting further with yours tho a few ideas. Love our time Grandy. We cover so much. You're really beautiful ya know 😚

    Wow you've been doing so well at home. Well done hun. Change is good for us I think.

    The dolls good on you Grandy love. I imagine that could be emotional? Glad you're keeping your Nans one.

    Missing my darling 😍 he's staying at home cause his friends having a hard time and I didnt want to risk my back on a different bed yet. He's a dear man Grandy. Love him very much and vice versa the honey.

    Yes gorgeous days here I really must get out and walk. Also follow up on the foot. I can see the area it's naughty as well as Archilles.

    Grandy wishing you the very best for tomorrow my/our lovely darlin.

    Always my bbff who I love and care about very deeply precious friend. PubAok lysvm awyis yadimh sss bbff gg swod 🤗😚👩‍❤️‍👩💜🗯👀🌱

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  21. monkey_magic
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    17 September 2020 in reply to demonblaster
    Heya and a good morning to you!

    Just swinging by to say hello. Meds give me migraines and I was a bit free of them last night and boy did it feel amazing to not have them. It was beyond. Then I thought about how much unecessary suffering I go through and how hard it is.
    It makes U a resilient person DB. It's crappy to have so much wrong, I really feel ya and for you. But I'm amazed that despite all you still muster strength and still live life at your own pace.

    You give really great advice and write things on my thread I need to hear as well. Your Mr is a lucky one.
    After all your past tragedy I'm glad you've found someone. It gives others hope that there is a silver lining, and sunshine after a storm.

    My new boyfriend will hopefully be a car that I buy. Going to look today. Fingers crossed I can get a loan.

    You must be a fighter hun. You've been managing multiple health conditions for ages. It can't be at all a walk in the park.

    I better go paint my face now and look presentable for my new broom broom...if it happens.

    Have a gorgeous spring day if u can or just get through it best way you know how.

    Lots of love,
    🙉
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  22. Ggrand
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    17 September 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩,..Magic and everyone...🤗..

    Hows your headaches going honey...I hope they have choofed off....

    Awe that’s so sweet you missing your so much loved Mr. Deebi...I can assure you that he is missing you as much as you him....Love it that you care and love each other deeply...it’s so heart warming..

    With your foot..just curious if you had your Dr..check for a planta wart on the sole of your foot...The sore one, they are sneaky little buggers and hurt like 💩...when you walk on it...I had in my teenage years..

    I woke early enough to see the sunrise this morning..it was beautiful...I forgot how peaceful it is to watch the sunrise....I had one fur on each side of me, trying to drink my tea, and take some photos was a little awkward..I managed to get some lovely photos..

    What you up to doing bbff...have you been out at all?..getting some sun and fresh air into you...Pubaok...yadimh..and my 💭..Much Big love and care for you dearest sss...bbff..👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💜🦋🐻🤗🌹..

    My care, luv and hugs everyone...

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

    Hello Magic...I hope your loan comes through and you get to buy a new car....I have a 2002 Mazda 3..I bought 2nd hand about 6 years ago...I love it....It was my first decision after loosing my husband...I traded his car in for it....

    yep...spring rang away and Summer stepped in ...hot early this year...had my first salad tonight...and got my first mozzie bite tonight as well....So Much not a fan of Summer.

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  23. demonblaster
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    17 September 2020 in reply to monkey_magic
    Heyaz Magic 🐒 Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and lovely ones ☺

    Nice to see you dear people thank you for your time care and support.

    Nice things you said Monks hun. When my back and heads behaving it's all good. Still regaining confidence with my back. Phoo wicked pain.

    On a recent tele health a neurologist said last yrs MRI (having another tomoz) what they saw was insignificant from their point of view.
    Wow all those yrs and now too of sheer agony. Ok between outs.
    Felt like it was breaking and every morning for a couple months approx felt like the frame was moving against the other part.
    I don't want an op but they're missing something there.

    Thanks hun he's a dear lovely man. Very easy time the sweetheart 😍

    Hope it all went well for your loan and new car. Exciting.
    Look after yourself darls.
    I'm reading at yours will bbl 🤗

    Gorgeous Grandy hi sweetyheart 🤗
    Thanks huns headaches have eased considerably. Had one or two but choofed them. The super flat pillow seems to be helping. Yes!

    No I must get onto my foot though. I can see and feel on the side I suspect ? slight torn tendon but unsure.

    The sunrise sounds so beautiful awesome you got pics. Great memories hun ☺

    Still sleeping heaps wow. We went for a lovely drive as we do most wks with mhw today was lovely.
    Sometimes we go out to lunch with friends.
    Get takeaways and go somewhere or have at homes good too.
    Happy. Adore this love. Thanks Grandy he's such a love 😍

    Probs low on characters
    Love to you both dear friends. Thanks girls ☺
    Deep love Grandy bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩💜👼😍🤗🗯👀
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  24. Paw Prints
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    18 September 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Deebi,

    Lass I'm so pleased they are giving you a MRI today, hopefully they do a full body one. You really have been battling with your body so much, (Hands on hips )...the doctors need to take it more seriously & do something to help you.... or else your bb friends will have serious words with them (or sing under their windows)

    I'm hoping Mr Deebi is well & back at yours after staying at his for his friend. Every time you talk about him it brings a smile to my face. The bond the two of you have is utterly adorable.

    Biggest of hugs for you both xoxo

    Paws

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  25. Ggrand
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    18 September 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..lovely Paws and everyone..🤗..

    How did you go today bbff..

    Ive been here all day cooking you a yummy Pork roast with crispy potatoes, slightly burnt pumpkin, roast carrots and broccoli..,with a yummy gravy..ohh I had to test the crackling so just a little bit is missing....dessert is strawberries and yogurt..

    Deebi...I hope they find something this time that can be healed...not finding the source of the pain was awful..Honey, if you have a gut feeling something is wrong..Please don’t give up on trying to find out what it is...Geez, something is wrong to cause you so much pain...They need to investigate further....also with your foot a mri scan can’t hurt..maybe then they can fix that as well....

    Sounds nice your mhw....He is a good supporter for you..Taking you on drives to get out of your home...That’s nice..I’m pleased you enjoy your time with him...

    Paws I think if we sang under the professionals window and stayed until they took proper care of our beautiful Deebi...With my singing voice..the Dr will definitely give Deebi a full body scan within a few minutes...😂😂..I sound like a wild animal...in pain..

    The sunrise was amazing...

    No need to reply precious friend..you will be tired after today...have something to eat, a nice hot shower then into bed for you dear girl...been thinking about you through most of today..always do..but today more...Hope your okay..love you dearest bbff...💜...pubaok...yadimh and my 💭...🐻🤗🌹🦋🕊🌱..

    Love to you Paws and everyone..with big hugs..💜🤗🤗.

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy....

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  26. demonblaster
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    18 September 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi beautiful Paws 🐾 Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and all ☺

    You lovelies are such great support thank you so much 🤗

    Wow I absolutely know I've packed the weight back on through giving up smokes how often! Just a very occasional now.

    Uh oh I was too big. It was too much of a squish in there. Bugger and I wondered how I'd get in it's a pretty small area. Seems last yrs one I had the weight off. It hurt my back so came back out. Too squished dam it. I know I need and can get the weight off and or ring around for a larger machine. My own fault and I know I can get it off. Just need to get my head in the right place.

    Waste of money we got transport but nice trip.

    Yes it is for full back loveys.

    We had a sleep. Mr beautiful yes just away the one day Pawsy love thanks 😊 he wouldn't probs have a sleep in the day but comes with me the gorgeous.

    The first 2 or so mths were chronic with the wicked bad pain then about the other 3 mths was very bad too but fortunately through the day I could walk.

    I wonder how other people get on cause I see a lot my size around.

    Might be going to lunch tomoz with friends.

    Oh Grandy we just loved the Roast Pork yummo. Crunchy spuds slightly burnt Pumpkin crackling oh you're gorgeous thank you 🤗

    Ok so operation get the kg's off!

    Love and care to both of you dear friends. I really hope you're both doing ok 🤗

    So much love my dear beautiful Grandy bbff. Thank you sweetyheart for being such a lovely friend always.

    👩‍❤️‍👩💜😍👼🗯👀🤝🌱

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  27. blondguy
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    18 September 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hey DEEBEE! and everyone!

    you have been on the forums for ages and its always great to see your colorful profile smiley face 😊 My sister had back surgery for a herniated disc and now the back pain is back especially after periods of stress. I had a crook back in the 1990's and couldnt even sit in a car or a chair without taking an anti inflammatory which didnt really work anyway. Sorry to jump in without reading your posts DeeBee

    Have a really good weekend!

    Paul

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  28. Paw Prints
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    19 September 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Deebi,

    "I wonder how other people get on cause I see a lot my size around."

    Well I struggle. My weight is now over 100kg & it physically hurts. That's why I pinched Grandy's idea & bought myself a pedal machine to try to start exercising gently. Getting my head in the right place & not comfort eating will be a battle I know.

    I'm sure Mr Deebi would be wonderful & help you monitor/change what you eat. Having him to cheer you on when you do good would be such a motivator for you to achieve your goal.

    Lass I'm sure you are strong enough to do this.

    Love & hugs

    Paws

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  29. Ggrand
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    19 September 2020 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Paul, Paws and everyone..🤗..

    That’s okay Deebi...about the weight hun...Please don’t let it get you down....Since I started on meds around two years ago...I have put on an extra 30kilos...I’m not far off 95 kilos...and I do eat to comfort myself sometimes...It’s okay Deebi..you are not alone with needing to loose weight...You, Paws and Grandy can all do it together...give each some loving caring encouragement..

    I am sorry that you had to pay for the trip....but I do like that you found a good positive by saying it was a nice trip...Well done honey...

    Paws..I haven’t used my peddle wheels for a couple of weeks now...I get lazy and couldn’t be bothered..No it’s getting hotter weather..it might get cobwebs all over it...

    Take good care of you Deebi....always here for you unconditionally....Love you biggly..always..💜🐻👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🦋🌹..

    Love and hugs to you Paws and Paul..and everyone..💜🤗.

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy....

    Good night, sleep tight.... wake up in the morning, fresh n bright..

    2 people found this helpful
  30. demonblaster
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    20 September 2020 in reply to blondguy
    Dear Pauly 🤗 Pawsy 🐾 Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 & readers hiyaz 👋

    Lovely to see you Paul.
    Backs are horrors arent they. I have some understanding of the pain getting in a car it used to be what seemed several minutes of excrutiating pain getting in. Hope yours is better now.
    Thanks for calling by Mr. Hope you're going well 🤗

    Dear Pawsy hi lovey. Thank you too for your lovely support.
    Weights a curse isn't it. Very hard getting the mind in the right place but we can huns ✊
    Good on you with the steps. I've had a squiz on the net. That's ok Grandy you'll get back to it later I reckon.
    My darling Mr gorgeous Deebi 😍 is a big choccy 🍫 lover too so we'll have to bite the bullet together.
    Take care darls 🤗

    Hey gorgeous Grandy always love seeing you 🤗 thank you too darlin for your beautiful support.

    I know I'm very big and wondered.
    I was a second away from an anxiety attack but stopped it before it took over.
    Was devo'd the back hurting. Was when my tum went in it pushed against my back. Dam it!
    Figure the syrinx is ok but I'll contact them and see where we go from here. I'll suss bigger machines.

    My back was quite bad the following day and still catching again but easing god I hope. Being very careful.

    Love you heaps Grandy. Thank you for your beautiful friendship. Everyone you're so lovely.
    Grandy I've been wondering how you are lovely one 🤗😚👩‍❤️‍👩💜😍🗯👀🌱
    3 people found this helpful

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