Online forums

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please complete your profile

Complete your profile

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community.

Forum membership is open to anyone residing in Australia.

Join the online community Community rules Coping during the Coronavirus outbreak

Forums / Long term support over the journey / Surviving: Being in a better place

Topic: Surviving: Being in a better place

  1. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    10015 posts
    20 September 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..and everyone...🤗..

    Its so good to hear from you honey...I was getting a bit concerned about you...

    Awe Deebi...I hope your back settles down soon...Well done stopping your anxiety attack before it got hold of you...Were you made to wear masks while you were their?....Maybe it set off your anxiety....

    Yes..Deebi.....Please be very mindful of your back...and ask Mr. Deebi to move anything heavy for you...

    Thanks for asking...I’m okay...talk on mine maybe tomorrow... feeling more comfortable here at your tonight...

    It rained here most of the day..as I watched the rain drops falling..the raindrops were smiling at me..and trying to wet me...every time one of them wet me...they started giggling..then more and more raindrops wanted to join in..and I got saturated within seconds...my hair was dripping of raindrops as they slide down my long curly hair..giggling so loud as they fell onto my shirt and joined their friends there, that were playing follow the leader by dripping off my shirt onto my furs...After my furs got enough raindrops on them..they shook themselves and the raindrops were scattered everywhere..soaking in to the earth, to start again by being absorbed into the atmosphere to join their raindrop friends again...until they decide to wash the earth again....Circle of life...

    Good night bbff...I hope you have a deep restful sleep tonight and tomorrow..your beautiful light shines for all to see...Love you Deebi....💜🦋🐻🤗..pubaok..Bpaly, swod 🙏..yadimh always and forever...

    Night night lovely people...sending my love, care and hugs..💜🦋🤗..Hoping and Wishing you all sleep well..

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...

    2 people found this helpful
  2. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7872 posts
    21 September 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Dear Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and readers hiya ☺

    Thank you darlin for such a lovely visit really enjoyed the gorgeous rain story it was so nice I smiled and giggled reading it. You're a gem 🏅

    No we didn't have to mask there but we did have to in the transport car was horrid wearing them. We kept letting air in.

    Backs hurting at times but luckily not full agony like the first couple-ish mths. Painful and over quickly. Trouble I'm wary doing anything it feels a bit weird. Over it! Yip the dear Mr sweety carries heavy stuff the love. Disappointing cause it was coming good slowly. Now confidence step back again.

    I do a lot of sleeping no idea why. I'm glad Mr gorgeous comes too for arvo sleeps but he wouldn't if I didnt and I sleep in hrs in mornings. Happy just lack of motivation. Adore being with my love same as late love just love my sleep but at least don't always nanny nap but mostly do. Dunno always needed a lot.

    You're a beautiful friend Grandy love. Thank you 🤗🤝👼

    Thank you darlin love you so much, you're daily often in my 🗯👩‍❤️‍👩💜😍🤝🌱

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    10015 posts
    22 September 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..and everyone....

    Good morning sunshine...

    Hoping your day is a good day today..

    A bunch of beautiful flowers to start your day with a beautiful scent and wonderful colours...🌹💐🌻..

    Love to you my bbff..

    Grandy..🕊🌱

    1 person found this helpful
  4. monkey_magic
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    monkey_magic avatar
    5143 posts
    22 September 2020 in reply to demonblaster
    Hey all,

    Could the meds be the reason why U sleep a lot. I know it's true for me.

    Gardener is here making a lot of noise with the whipper snipper.

    Oh gosh still waiting to hear if finance has been approved. Been so up and down. Up knowing I'll be driving a new car and down because I won't lol...

    Hope you all have a decent day today.

    🙊🙉🙈🐵
    1 person found this helpful
  5. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    10015 posts
    23 September 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩... 🐒 Magic and all..🤗..

    I had to wear a mask in my Drs rooms last Tuesday..They are horrible ..not enough air gets through them..I looked on google and made one out of a sock...much easier breathing...

    Thats okay about sleeping Deebi...I do some days sleep a lot...I’m glad Mr Deebi also naps with you...I think if we sleep we must need it..Its soul healing honey...

    You’re a good girl, looking after your back..and so is Mr. Deebi for helping you...can you give him a thank you hug from me.☺️..please..

    How are you feeling..I’m a bit concerned, that’s okay though because friend do get concerned about each other...If you need to talk lovely friend..you know that I’m always here for you..as you are for me...💜..

    I made you a beautiful pillow case for you...It is a very soft mauve colour, with jonquils embroidered around the edge..in the centre of your pillow case are embroidered words in a deeper mauve saying “True friends are never apart, 🌹 maybe by distance but not by heart ❣ ”. I hope you like it....oh no..this isn’t your 🎁..I am working on that..The pillow case is because I just wanted to..

    Wishing you a beautiful peaceful sleep tonight bbff... with dreams of our waterfall and crystal clear lake that hides in our Stars 🌟...Love you bbff...always and forever....💜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🤗.

    Good night everyone reading...hugs, love and beautiful dreams..🤗💜🦋🕊..

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🕊🌱🌸🦄

    1 person found this helpful
  6. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7872 posts
    25 September 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi Magic 🐒 Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and readers 👋

    Thank you both for your time and lovely posts always nice seeing youse ☺

    Meds might contribute Magic and also I've always needed a lot of sleep. I think lack of motivation seems to be the root cause tho I'm quite happy and content just no get up and go. I remember being same in teens.
    Thanks good thoughts ☺
    I have sleep apnoea undiagnosed too and weight all adds in I guess.

    😆 yip the blowers make quite a racket don't they.

    Keep your chin up Monks and the positives rolling 🤗. Remembering and feeling good times gives us a touch of light so needed in hard times. Gotta be a good ☺

    Gorgeous Grandy 🤗 you're a dear love aren't you.
    I should have said about internet go slow before it was so frustrating.
    The other day was hard just getting on here and part of the next day too.

    I'm good sweety thanks.
    We had a lovely drive yesterday with mhw it's nice just buzzing around laughing or talking usually both. He's very good.

    Ohh darl just loven the gorgeous pillow case. Such a beautiful gift thank you so much sweety.
    The Jonquils are devine. I imagined the scent and how they make me feel. I like the Creamy doubles they seem to have the scent.
    Those words are so beautiful and so true lovey. Never apart 🤝🤗 ever!

    My back had a couple of strong spasms over a couple of mornings or early arvo I should say not today phew. I carefully and slowly sit down after getting up.
    Havent had that before it was a bit yeh righto.
    Pain was mild just didnt know what was going to happen phew ok after.

    The quite flat pillow seems to be holding the headaches mostly at bay. Still having some but not needing to remove it too much now throughout the nights.
    Let's hope it continues easing them. They seem to be not too far off but it's a welcome change at least.

    I feel ok about sleeping a lot and sometimes we don't.
    I too think there's mental and physical healing. I'm content and happy esp with this beautiful man 😍 just no motivation for much but do things here and there socially and in the house at times.

    I've been doing little jobbies on occasion lately actually. You do feel good getting things done eh esp if you can see the results. Mr beautiful usually helps the love 😍

    Grandy and Magic I really hope you're both doing ok. It's ongoing working on ourselves towards happiness. Well worth sticking with though isn't it.
    We'll get there and one day be free of demons because we're survivors! ✊

    👩‍❤️‍👩💜😍✨🌞👀🌟🗯🔥🐒

    2 people found this helpful
  7. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    10015 posts
    26 September 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...and all,

    Its good to hear that your headaches are not as frequent or as strong...Maybe the flat pillow is keeping your neck more aligned in a more natural way...I don’t think caveman etc had pillows..unless they were made of stone...

    Thank goodness your back didn’t do a big out for you...Please take it easy with your physical self bbff...I like that your doing little jobbies on occasions...and Mr beautiful is helping you..Thats so sweet...

    I do believe that sleep is healing for both body and soul..it’s something I do a lot of when I’m down because it puts our mind, thoughts asleep as well..

    Its been very cold here for 3 days..can’t believe that it’s snowing close by... Then again I can because I can feel the ice in the wind and air..I hope your part of the universe is warmer then mine...strange weather this year..strange year this year..definitely this year will be written in history books for generations to come to learn from...

    I did want to sleep last night so I decided to wash my kitchen curtains and hang them up again...They look white now...yay...little things we do accomplish does make a difference about how we feel about ourselves...doesn’t it?

    Im going to make a yummy chia tea soon..then into bed for the night...Pop over if you like and have a bedtime cuppa with me...

    I’m working on making a super sonic powerhouse balloon 🎈 so we can travel faster to each others place...Hopefully I get it right and it will only take 2.543sec to travel between our places...Then I’ll make another one for you 🎈..Won’t be ready for a while yet...but when it is..woohoo we will definitely have fun visiting..

    Good night dearest bbff..Love you over the moon and back..💜🌈 🌓 ...🐻🤗bear hugs and wishes of sweet dreams..

    My care, love and hugs everyone...🌹💜🤗.

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🕊🌱

    1 person found this helpful
  8. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7872 posts
    27 September 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Hiya lovely Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and readers 👋

    Thank you for popping in dear friend always SO good seeing you 🤗

    Yes it's a relief with the 🤕. I move at times either doing that Tai Chi on waking or just moving and ...shudder...the feeling of the cracks like things are moving back in place thank goods no pain doing it. A bit unsettling but ok.

    I did for a while back there neck strengthening excercises but unsure if they bought on more headaches probs not cause they're always close by and were often then as well.

    Huge relief less pain with the back. Ouched today but not agony. Being super careful at least no spasm today. Yesterday on the balcony. Just held the rail till it eased off.

    This surely has been a different hard year for so many hasn't it. Agree future generations will look back on this and hopefully learn from it. Well said Grandz. I like how you think ☺

    Good job getting the curtains done and seeing them I imagine will be a good lift for quite a while. Hope so anyway.
    It really does help with how we feel about ourselves doesn't it. It's an achievement. I admire people that get on with things. It doesn't pull me down just so hard to do things apart from good ole mania..zooom! 😄

    Going to start little walks as part of our drives with mhw which will be good.

    I like watching netball on TV Grandy. Been seeing it a bit lately on the weekends.
    Don't know if that interests you at all lovey. Good fast game. Lot of skill and you can see the game it's not crowded.

    How are you darlin? Arm around your shoulders.
    Thank you gorgeous would be lovely to pop around and have a chai aren't they yummo. We could bring the furs if that's alright hun to bring Mr 😍 and extra furs for some yum milk...ohhh look at them the dear little loves...come on darlins time for yet another cuddle...did I see there eyes just 🤤... geez they're getting fast...🏃‍♀️

    😆 haha loven the sounds of your new invention. Ohh Grandy what a brilliant mind you have. Can't wait to scoot around so fast. I guess the speed revs up when you let all the air out 📍💨...vrrrrrooom....mmm must brush up 🎓 on my power house 🎈 driving skills.
    2.543 secs is really impressive too Grandz I was worried about the G forces if it was going to be 2.542 secs. You think of everything hun.

    Absolutely love our time honeyheart you're an amazing beautiful friend. Thank you 🤗.

    ✨🤝👀🎈🎓🏃‍♀️🌟😍👩‍❤️‍👩💜

    1 person found this helpful
  9. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    10015 posts
    3 October 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...and everyone....🤗.

    I remember before that you watched you nephew play basketball?...and he hurt his foot... does he still play?

    I like that your mhw comes to visit you weekly..that really is awesome..and now going for short walks as well as a drive..I am very happy for you...You go girl!😁..

    Its been a while since I’ve visited you..and I am sorry...always thoughts of you daily, and miss talking here...Sometimes words get blocked...and don’t work properly...

    I am pleased you like my invention..not much work done on it yet..but will be ready for the hot summer nights, to go floating across the moonlit sky with our friends here...

    Needed to call in and tell you that your such a beautiful caring bbff....much love dear bbff soul sister..🌹🕊🌱🦋💜.

    How are you feeling Deebi...I really need to know...

    It was so summery here today..I hope you have beautiful weather to do teeny walks along the beach..

    My love, hugs and care everyone..💜🤗🦋.

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy.....🦄🌟👻🎈🛴🐘🐻🤗👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

    1 person found this helpful
  10. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7872 posts
    4 October 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Hey there Mrs gorgeous 👩‍❤️‍👩 and any readers 👋

    Good seeing you darl thanks for popping in sweetyheart 🤗

    Actually I'm not sure but suspect he would still be playing basketball. Good memory sweet ☺

    Yes it's really good with mhw and is ok that Mr 😍 comes he's such a sweetheart. Oops didnt walk but I know I need to. We went shopping the other day and it was a bit further to score a park. Was quite hard walking. The back slows me at times I stop every now and then. At least some exercise. At times I say to mhw not to worry cause I'm ok.

    Oh darlin I know exactly what you mean about words being hard. That's quite ok lovey you have a lot going on. I hope todays a bit easier on you gorgeous tho I imagine it's still hard 🤗 dear love gets so much doesn't it.

    I'm good thanks sweety still sleeping heaps but not out of sadness just love my sleep. Told mhw and he said I must need it. My darling gets up before me I think the whole world does and we sleep arvos not every day but often. Mr Deebi wouldnt day sleep if I didnt. He's such a love Grands. So happy with the darling.

    You too you're a very caring loving beautiful friend and soul sister my sweety.

    Thank you for popping in gorgeous. Deep love darlin 😚💜👩‍❤️‍👩😍🗯🤝🌞

    1 person found this helpful
  11. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    10015 posts
    8 October 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...

    I hope your feeling okay lovely friend..

    I think I broke everyone’s record a couple of weeks ago..I woke up at 2pm...and had only a few hours of daylight until it was dark again....Hard to get back into a regular sleep pattern after that happens....

    Thats okay about walking honey..before your foot started hurting you used to walk daily..It’s not your fault..I’m sure once your foot starts healing you’ll get back into walking...I remember always the long walk you did and ended up visiting the pelicans...and didn’t know really where you were...That particular walk always come to my thoughts and make me smile..

    My furs want to come over and give Destiny and Eternity a yummy chewy treat each..so they can sit together and then play chasing after they had enough chewing..I also want to come over and share some yummy chocolates with you and Mr Deebi...Like everything else chocolate tastes better with company...🚪oooh I found a huge chocolate door that we can share....It’s the same size as a real door...😁 yummy,,

    Gee Deebi...little Ruby 🦅 makes more mess in the house then my furs do..always sweeping up bird seed..messy, messy Ruby..I call her now..

    Was thinking if you are allowed to have a little feathered friend as a pet..they are so cute with their little face and make nice music...

    How are you my bbff?...💜..big love with bear hugs lovely friend...💜🐻🤗...keep the hope alive that some day will be one day soon...because yadimh tucked away very safely...

    Hugs, love and care everyone..

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy.....🕊🌱

    1 person found this helpful
  12. monkey_magic
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    monkey_magic avatar
    5143 posts
    10 October 2020 in reply to demonblaster
    Morning colourful faced ( emoji) wonder woman!

    How are we ( U & Mr) sleepy heads today.

    The injuries sound pretty nasty so U can only really do what the body allows hey. But I'm sure you could teach me all about it, having gone through it so long. I think acceptance is the hardest thing but once you've accepted it the injuries that have a mind of their own take president. I wish I could fix my back. Going to one day C if there are any surgical options. I hope so.

    Hope you're enjoying your shows. I still watch a bit of telly. Bold and the beautiful, the chase, news, home and away are regulars.

    We've been having pretty good weather lately. I'm not a huge fan of the heat though. Are you a beach person at all? Salt water always good for injured bodies.

    Grandy I'm going to take a chunk of that chocolate door home with me if that's ok, don't want you and Deb's to get tummy aches.

    Bye beautifuls !


    2 people found this helpful
  13. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    10015 posts
    11 October 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Magic and all...

    I’m calling in to see you lovely bbff...No pressure honey, but I am concerned for you and hoping you are okay...RUOK?..

    Please remember Deebi.. your bbff loves you heaps..💜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🐻🤗..and am here for you when you need me or even if you don’t need me😁..

    If beasty is annoying you here is a little something to remind you that you are stronger then beasty...smarter then beasty...More determined then beasty...

    I often read this poem...and wanted to read it to you...Not sure who wrote it...It helps me sometimes..hoping it will help you Deebi...

    If the mountain seems too big today,
    then climb a hill instead.
    If the morning brings you sadness,
    it’s okay to stay in bed.
    If the day ahead weighs heavy
    and your plans feel like a curse,
    there’s no shame in rearranging,
    don’t make yourself feel worse.
    If a shower stings like needles
    and a bath feels like you’ll drown,
    if you haven’t washed your hair for days,
    don’t throw away your crown.
    A day is not a lifetime,
    a rest is not defeat;
    don’t think of it as failure,
    just a quiet, kind retreat.
    It’s okay to take a moment
    from an anxious, fractured mind;
    the world will not stop turning,
    while you get realigned.
    The mountain will still be there
    when you want to try again,
    you climb it in your own time,
    just love yourself ’til then....oh and me as well💜😁.

    Good night precious bbff....I hope with all my hope that tomorrow will be a day full of the brightest light possible..

    Big love, and care dear bbff..

    My love, care and hugs everyone...

    Grandy...

    4 people found this helpful
  14. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7872 posts
    11 October 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    BP day 2/3

    Beautiful Grandy you're a precious bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 I can't imagine you not being in my life. Love and care so much about you dear friend 🤗

    Thanks hun I'm ok mostly and have stuff to talk about soon. You'll probs guess. It's ok but not at all. That's pretty normal for us isn't it 😆

    Nearly 1am so we better choof for now. Just wanted to thank you for that really excellent poem. Love it. So much wisdom and so well expressed. I'll copy it.

    Thank you beautiful love and how are you going? Always in my thoughts daylight till dusk.

    Sleep well everyone. Only dreams if bliss and wake feeling refreshed and new 🌱

    You're awesome bbff ☺😚🤗👩‍❤️‍👩💜⚘

    1 person found this helpful
  15. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    10015 posts
    15 October 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...

    my hands on hips..tch..tch..tch...1am and still awake...Hmmmm going to have to read to you about sleep hygiene very soon I think..😁..

    Always here for you If and when you feel to talk....a problem shared between bbff’s....is a problem halved....if I am able to help you I will...otherwise i’m here always listening and holding your hand super glued and tied with our friendship ribbon 🎀..love you so much more than the universe..💜🐻🤗..

    Been very hot days here...how about at yours..is it hot enough for a little calm stroll along the waters edge, feet in the water is so calming..except when it’s icy 🥶..then it’s a brand new never seen before freezing feet dance😂...

    Hows your back, neck, headaches and foot feeling lately beautiful friend?...I hope with all my hope that they have eased of for a while for you...

    I often read that poem..it makes sense to us poor unfortunate depressed...it gives us a guide line that..it’s okay to not be okay...So true honey..a day is not a lifetime even though it may feel like it sometimes...

    Sending you my love..care..respect and huge tender hugs...💜🐻🤗🦋🕊🌹🌱🎀🎈..oh and a few pieces of the non calorie, bite size chocolate 🍫...

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...

    1 person found this helpful
  16. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7872 posts
    15 October 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Hey my/our gorgeous 👩‍❤️‍👩 and to everyone ☺

    Thank you for your sweet loving visit Grandy it's such a pleasure walking together and being so close 🤗

    Phoo these BP's take you for a ride don't they. Got quite a few jobbies done with the help of this beautiful love and in between another.

    We visited besty and her partner who's riddled with cancer. Wiped out but holding.

    I've been good hun so far. We went to church which I occasionally go to, the people are nice. Some know I'm not a follower exactly but agree with a lot of the bibles teachings. A lot not.

    Had a fair bit of social lately.

    I'm on the way down babe so I'll catch later if ok. Very tired.

    Headache 2 days rid it tonight.

    Foot naughty and yikes holding fluid will check it out if it doesnt go.

    Back thank goods settling in the catching pain but the muscles when lifting light thing and walking are tragic and can't stand too long.

    Hope you're holding up as well as can dear sweet lady.

    So much love Grandy you really are a beautiful person.

    Monks I'll bbl darl thanks again for your post.

    1 person found this helpful
  17. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7872 posts
    21 October 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi lovelies ☺

    Magic 🐒 & bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 thanks for the lovely visits.

    We like Home and Away too

    Nearly paid back all debts. I was/am compulsive Monks only with Pokies, tho probs with other on occasion. Had stopped for over 10 yrs.

    Recently played on line.
    No harm done except to myself. Could have had profit. All Ok. Again in mania. In normals I would have done same

    Great having more rational thought in mania let alone on pokies.
    I'm changing my ways for the better. Compulsion's still there but less. Think the vital help will be not doing it too often which will reinforce how it used to feel.
    Cant anyway yet. Controlled thoughts but not the urgency & desparate need/desire.
    I won't go to how it used to be. Only if I can afford. Still shouldn't.

    Backs are mongrel pain. Over 60 % people have probs. 96% are X nurses. Lifting machines/wardsman were as rare as hens teeth then. More now

    Mines off kilter again. Recent sleep in recliner helped instead of bed with no guarantee strong pain relief would help with the pain. Couldnt lay on my back.

    Still not good esp when I first get up & sit.
    Through the day it settles mostly not today tho.
    Bigger MRI machine soon. Whole back.

    Wow! Hardly any depression! First ever/long time I've had more mania which was bout a week def type 2 not 1.

    I got stuff done 😆 vroom 💨 Thrilled. Manias how it's meant to be.
    A few more big/day sleeps be back to normals.

    Planning to do art that's all over the table 😂 & things. Sick of doing nothing much.

    Started going down hard.
    In a better frame of mind going to talk to good friend. She misunderstood, unintentionally knocked me without knowing the facts.
    Our loves deep but I don't like being misunderstood.
    Pulled out after a handful of tears & not wanting to go down further. Was happening fast.
    I'm secure in her deep love returned.

    I'm speaking up again just not always like yrs ago.
    As our Peppy 💖 says pick your fights.

    Relief my backs easing on walking/standing.
    Did some small walking with shopping & an ok distance rather than us driving. Think its helped. Keen to walk again when I recover, otherwise the stimulation brings on mania again. And get foot right

    Slowly easing off on naughty food tho still having but less and less often. Still mighty breaks. Fed up being unhappy again in myself weight wise. 2 pkts 🚬 in mania made me cough that stirred back again. Was starting to recover. Karma!

    Love to you both.

    🤗🐒👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🤝🌞⚘🌱

    3 people found this helpful
  18. Paw Prints
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Paw Prints avatar
    1843 posts
    21 October 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Deebi,

    Backs are @#&^@#% things....

    Sending you huggily hugs

    Paws

    2 people found this helpful
  19. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7872 posts
    21 October 2020 in reply to Paw Prints

    Thanks lovely Paws 🐾

    Yes they sure are @#&^@#% and more. At least mine recovers slowly, trouble is it keeps reverting!

    Hope you're travelling ok dear lady. And that the boss is behaving ☺

    🤗Hugs back huns.

    1 person found this helpful
  20. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    10015 posts
    21 October 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Good Night Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Paws and everyone...🤗..

    Just a quick drop bye to wish you my bbff... and everyone a lovely refreshing sleep and sweet dreams....

    Always listening Deebi.,,with my big ears...reading your words with my 👀....and holding tight it’s my hands...

    I want to reply to you..but I’m really tired and heading for bed.....VS tomorrow...needing some extra sleep 😴..tonight..

    Will pop in tomorrow for a chat if that’s okay.😵 🛌😴..

    Good night, sleep tight...catch the morning light..

    Love and hugs bbff and Paws...

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🕊🌱..sdod 👭..💜

    1 person found this helpful
  21. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7872 posts
    22 October 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi everyone ☺

    That's quite ok sweet besty friend 👩‍❤️‍👩.

    Huge day today lovey plz only come in if you're up to or when you are. Same as you say you know I read. So just when you're up to gorgeous.

    Dam backs so tight hurt like billyo getting into chair grr seriously over this but at least it sorts itself through the day mainly. Taken strongs to relax it. Reluctantly because I'm still catching up from BP. Geesh no matter how mild it still wipes you.

    Forgot to say about the curbed panic attacks thru this episode. Wow didn't even feel stressed but stopped them in their tracks. Rand direct health just to be sure cause I've never had butterflies in my arms first one then both legs and arms jyst for a few seconds. He said yes anxiety. Phooey SO sudden. Anyhoo choofed the swines.

    Grandy I hope you're ok after today love it must be so terribly hard on you.

    Always 🗯 about you and tonne of deep lasting love.

    PubAok lysvm awyis yadimh sss bbff gg swod definately. 😚🤗👀👩‍❤️‍👩💜👭🤝✨

    2 people found this helpful
  22. monkey_magic
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    monkey_magic avatar
    5143 posts
    22 October 2020 in reply to demonblaster
    Hey Db and all,

    Online gaming has become a problem for me. Need to kick it to the curb, or like you guys say choof it off. Lol.

    Your poor back. Looking after it the best way you can I reckon. Well done, def not an easy thing to cope with.

    Yes,home and away saves the day.

    Ciggies r yuk. I used to binge smoke. Haven't touched them in two years now. Glad they're out of my life.

    Sounds like you are doing the best that U can.

    💐
    3 people found this helpful
  23. Croix
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    Croix avatar
    11060 posts
    22 October 2020 in reply to monkey_magic

    Dear MM and DB~

    Please allow me a moment's blunt talk.

    I'm concerned about the gambling, which is cunningly designed from the ground up to motivate you to (in effect) give them money so you can have a moment of adrenaline.

    You have both given up other things - what helped then? You have overcome so much, it wold be a tragedy to be trapped by this which operates by stealth.

    Croix (who admits he is a nag and who uses the world's oldest recliner chair, cracked vinyl and all) on bad nights. It is amazing)

    2 people found this helpful
  24. monkey_magic
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    monkey_magic avatar
    5143 posts
    22 October 2020 in reply to Croix
    Hi Croix,

    Thanks for the concern. Im not gambling in clubs/ pubs anymore, now it's an online game on my phone! But, I am spending way too much money on it for the adrenaline/ high.

    I was thinking of maybe giving my money to my mum to hold onto? And keeping what I need.

    I am able to control myself sporadically but then I go all out.

    In the past I've just used will power. I am able to quit addictions.

    My problem now is having too much time on my hands. Need to find other things to fill my time with.
    1 person found this helpful
  25. Croix
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    Croix avatar
    11060 posts
    23 October 2020 in reply to monkey_magic

    Dear MM

    I guess, as I would have expected from you, you have identified the two most important things, too much money in the short term -letting your mum keep some sounds a pretty good idea, and too much time.

    So what do you suggest about the time and getting away from that phone?

    Croix

    2 people found this helpful
  26. monkey_magic
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    monkey_magic avatar
    5143 posts
    24 October 2020 in reply to Croix
    The funny, or not so funny thing is I'm a deluxe member and get lots of free coins on this particular game and I've been playing half the day.... without spending my own money.

    You are right. I need to put my money away and use my time on more productive things. I want to ease back into exercise and see how I go. Less drugs in my system means I'm feeling better and more able to do things.

    It means the world to me to be weaned off this stuff, now I have to wean off online gaming.

    Too much money in the short term- this should be staying in the bank and not used for online gambling. Gosh, there is so much the money can go towards.
    1 person found this helpful
  27. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    10015 posts
    24 October 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deeb👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..and everyone....🤗.

    I hope you’re doing okay..but I feel you are still coming down and exhausted as it runs it’s course..

    I have been listening here..Made a few posts but deleted them as one I fell asleep through while I was talking to you... Please lovely bbff...Sleep as much as you can through recovery....

    I will be so pleased when you get a full back scan...it can’t come quick enough...You’ve been in to much back pain for far too long...It’s a concern and sound awful those butterflies in your arms and legs...I hope they don’t come back....

    Very well done on the panic attacks..your learning to choof them off before they take hold..that takes a lot of mindful work to do that..I feel mine coming but unfortunately cannot stop them before they build up to much...Your getting stronger then you know beautiful bbff.....

    I also play online slots, which I do buy fortnightly chips..but I limit myself now...When I go into mania..I can spend to much money on them...I maxed my credit card out by playing them.....So I don’t play them while in mania..I try to use my energy up by mowing my lawn or doing things around the house now....It took a while but I got their, and credit card balance is slowly recovering....It’s a form of entertainment that we can’t win at....

    Croix...Thank you were words also went into my brain...I think I needed to hear them...You are right...

    What you been up to Deebi....It’s raining here and I’m sitting outside talking to you...It’s supposed to rain all week...I love the rain..except for storms...

    Please dearest friend..look after you, be gentle with your beautiful golden soul, and don’t let beasty into it if you can help it....Always here for you precious friend..feeling a bit slack because I haven’t visited you for a while..but I hope you never ever think that I don’t care or love you...💜🤗👭because I do...just been doing it a bit hard..

    I hope your day today is better then yesterday...

    My kindest, most caring wishes for you bbff with my love..

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🕊🌱

    2 people found this helpful
  28. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7872 posts
    24 October 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi Magic 🐒 Croixy 🐧 and my dear bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 🤗

    Thank you everyone for calling in ☺ always very appreciated.

    I've had two probs tonight too on the recliner which is surprisingly comfy but not bed. It seems laying flats my prob. Scared to, it caught like in the beginning on getting up felt like same as that its broken and the frames moving back in place. Truly bloody horrid and big short pain not quite as bad as before. At least waking ok. Miss sleeping with my love but need to give this a chance to get better. Every bloody time it does it goes again.

    Yes Grandy love no depression but hard with the anxietys yes feeling good choofing them Monks 😅 and was a change of mood but handled and stopped hyperfocussingwell kinda on the comment.

    Ragged still but getting there. Didnt help taking the strongs to add to tiredness. Hit close to exhaustion.

    Croixy you're a good man. Thank you for your concern. I'll be ok. Have to I'm not going back to how it was tho played again just tonight.

    Yes Grandz I'm going to save for it. Good girl.

    Got some housework jobbies still more to go. Pleased.

    Knocked back mils birthday party & staying couple of days we were going to. Great age. And out with friends cause of back.

    Love and deep gratitude to you all. Thank you ☺

    Grandy never please feel you're not enough here honey it's too hard when in deep. I know you love care and always here for me. Truth it's quite ok, only when you're good.

    Monks we're strong enough to do the choof!

    👩‍❤️‍👩🐧🐒👭🕊⚘💜🌞🗯👀🤗

    2 people found this helpful
  29. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    10015 posts
    27 October 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...and all..🤗.

    I think it’s a good idea to try sleeping in the recliner..I know when I lie flat on my back, my back feels like it’s being stretched to much..and it aches much more..lying on my sides doesn’t seem to hurt as much..maybe in the recliner your back has a bit more support at the bottom section of it..just me thinking bbff..

    Sleep as much as you need to honey...Takes time to recover the exhaustion...you’ve been managing your anxiety and scenarios so well...It’s taking our thoughts away from them as soon as we realise what our brain is doing to us...Distraction...it’s all about distraction I think..I mean it’s the only thing to do that can stop our over active minds from running away with us...

    Awe I’m sorry you missed your mil birthday party..I know you love her lots..I hope she had a good time..and is doing well...

    How are you feeling honey....apart from the tiredness are you managing okay?..Pubaok...Don’t know what I’ll do without your absolutely beautiful friendship and talks...

    I hope Destiny and Eternity have been giving you lots of purrrr ing kisses and cuddles...My furs send them playful bow wows, and send you some gentle cuddles..

    My gift 🎁 to you is coming along so beautiful..it will be ready very soon...no hints though..😂..has to be a surprise for you 😲..love the little tooth on emoji...

    Just a gentle reminder Deebi...to not lift heavy things up..and to be very kind and gentle with you...and give yourself a yummy chocolate...I just had one..it was yummy...🍫😂..I am inventing a new flavoured chocolate bar..I’ll let you sample it when my inventive brain has completed it...

    Much love to you my bbff...with my care and some of Peppys super soul hugs..🤗🤗🤗..💜💜🌹🕊🌱🦋👀🤝☁️👀..

    My love, care and hugs to everyone..

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🌱🕊👭🎀

    1 person found this helpful
  30. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7872 posts
    28 October 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Beeudiful Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 hi good people 👋

    Thank you darlin for popping in. Always a pleasure being in your company bbff 🤗

    Yes my back much prefers the recliner, I've done 4 out of 5 nights and this morning I went back to bed. Miss not waking next to Mr gorgeous but knowing he's close by is lovely. My back was weird in bed the muscles all tightened. I prefer bed but its comfy in the chair so that's good.

    Yip heaps of sleeping wow it takes an age tho mania was longer and more solid.

    Yep distractions a great diversion for negative thinking isn't it hun. It doesn't fix but it's needed for our minds to have something else to focus on. Too much constant negatives harder to pull out of.

    Was a shame missing mils b.day but we can go and stay another time.

    I know Grandy love I feel the same pubAok I too don't know what I'd do without you in my life. What a beautiful friendship/soul sisterhood. So so glad we met my/our lovely sparrow whisperer 😚 you've got the touch gorgeous gentle lady ☺

    Oh our gorgeous Destiny and Eternity the dear little loves. Oh they jump around and what a crack up chasing their widdle wee tails and when they stand on tbeir hind legs oh just adore them. Yes darlings it's time for more cuddles...come on 🏃‍♀️...bring your little cute furry tummies ...
    Oh thank you for the furs cuddles the little loves 😚🤗 (kiss/cuddle). Plz send cuddles and live back and bows from the cutes this end.

    😀 the gift sounds gorgeous. Looking forward to it my lovely.
    I think about your unfinished one quite often. 😆 just can't get it off the ground but hope to one day.

    Thanks sweety dear Mr 😍 lifts heavy stuff which I don't like cause he has a crook back too

    Oh yeh choccys never far away me love we love it oops. Haha new flavour I'm keen on hearing about that invention you clever little lady aren't you 🎓

    Loven Peppys super soul hugs 🤗 I see she's taught you well.

    Deep love dear friend. Always & in my thoughts so often darlin 🗯⚘🕊

    👩‍❤️‍👩💜🤝✨👀

    1 person found this helpful

Stay in touch with us

Sign up below for regular emails filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones.


Sign me up