Hello Deebi, wave to all,

Give Mr Deebi a hug from me... his being able to listen & support you when you're struggling, shows he has a special gift & a big heart... good listeners are rare...

Oh lass I have a special comforting bear hug for you... I'm sad to hear you have been struggling... I'm a fan of nanna naps though I think we should call them siestas... that way we don't sound so old....

I am delighted you have been getting out & about catching up with friends... volunteering as well!!... do be careful lass... we don't want your poor body doing a major protest... mine has been playing up... I was tempted when I took Woofa to the vet on Monday for his arthritis needle to ask the vet to give me one too...

Have you been caught up in the lockdowns... even if not please do be careful when you go out... it seems to be spreading far & wide... thankfully lockdown here doesn't really affect my day to day... though I've noticed whenever I think of booking my car in for it's service we go into lockdown....

Thank you for suggesting I would be a good CC... I always worry that I might have said the wrong thing when I reply to people... it's nice to know I do get it right some of the time...

More huggily hugs

Paws

Hello beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, lovely Paws and all....🤗,

Thank you for saying I don’t pressure you...I was feeling so alone, frustrated and sad about what was happening to the Internet out here and not being able to talk here properly...

Goid news is they found a faulty part on the tower and have replaced it...yay..

It does take a lot to recover from BP, just sleep the most you can..I love nanny naps and after the Tipping point try to lay down for an hour..if sleep comes I am happy...

How do you enjoy your volunteer position?...I can imagine that you would bring a lot of light and laughter to the people you are working with....You have a great personality and beautiful soul that touches the people you are are around....

Im leaving the name of my mannequin up to you..a little about her, so it might help you...She has medium brown length hair, tall, no make up yet...I need to learn how to put make up on first..😂...She is very good at listening to me and doesn’t mind if I give her a cuddle when I feel sad or lonely...

I know your busy beautiful bbff, with your work and unpacking...so please take time out for you to do something that you like to do....

I really hope and pray that your friend will be alright...it’s really hard isn’t it knowing that our friends are so sick...I’m sorry that your friend is so sick..my heart goes out to you all....

Look after yourself precious friend..sending you big love, lots of care and lots of hugs...💚🦋🌹🧸😂..

Live to you also lovely Paws...your a beautiful lady..💜🦋🌹🧸🤗....

Love and hugs everyone reading..

Grandy..

Hiyaz dear Paws 🐾 and my bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 hi if any readers 👋

Dear loves thank you for your lovely posts everythings ok just being pretty slack atm.

Will be back soon.

Love you both a d you Mrs Grandy it runs deep sweetyheart. You're always in my thoughts with so much love concern and care 🤗🌞💫🍫💜👩‍❤️‍👩🐾💗💭✨

Hello beautiful bbff, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

Awe that’s okay Deebi..you’re allowed to be “slack” as you put it....I think better words are that your caring for yourself...and I love it that you are...

Big love dearest ever bbff💚🧸🤗....

Grandy..

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩....and waves to everyone..🤗..

Whatcha been up too bbff?...😁..

Sorry, that your back went out again, I wish that I was a back specialist so I could help you..I hope sleeping on the recliner isn’t to uncomfortable for you honey...I have been sleeping on the lounge for the past week...Just because I want to 😂..

Thank you for popping into mine...Your a beautiful bbff...💚🦋🌹..

I can’t wait until you put a bed in the spare room...Um..if it’s not to hard..I would love the walls to be painted a very soft mauve and the window sills a very creamy cream colour...maybe on the floors oh....(if it’s not to hard)..I think a very nice deep purple mat over the white floor tiles once you finish laying them...🥵....and the curtain would be nice if they were a nice white with lots of lace work on it...What do you think?....you will find everything you need in our 💼...Ohhhh don’t forget a big king size bed....I have only a double bed here...so a king bed sounds great 👍..

Takes a lot of time unpacking and deciding where to put things...you’ll get their, plenty of time honey....Do you like volunteering at Salvo’s....Please be very careful and wear your mask at all times while your in the shop..gloves are also good to protect you...Are you staying on after the person returns..or are you just their for the duration of her/his awayness....

No hurry to reply here...Just wanted to pop in and say a big hello and get a comforting hug off you....

Love goes deep precious bbff...💚🦋🌹🧸🤗.so does my care for you....Please be okay....Always.....and be good to yourself...

Love and hugs everyone..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy

Hey my gorjy bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩

Just popping in quickly to give you heaps more comforting hugs 🤗 and give you my love hun always 💜

Been ok eexcept still on the recliner.

Been playing poker but free well sometimes I buy chips. Finding it relaxing.

Adore this beautiful Mr Deebi he's a precious.

We're still moving his stuff nearly done. Be better when we get his furniture to put stuff away. Loven here.

Always love you Grandy you're da bomb my bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩💜💫🕊🌞🌈🦋👼

You're beautiful too dear Pawsy 🤗💗🕊🐾

Be well both/all readers.

Nigh night beautiful/s 😴☺

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...

Pleased to hear your doing okay, except for your back😢....

Thank you dearest bbff for letting us know...

Big love to you and lots of hugs back....it takes two to hug..isn’t that beautiful 🌹🦋..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...🦄👼🤝

Haha hey my bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 Pawsy and anyone reading ☺

Ahh sweety I must have forgotten to send the house decor lady to you to tell her your specifications for the room 😂 love your ideas 😂💡so I just trotted off ...googled and learnt how to be a master carpenter 🛠🔧📎. I did have a little trouble when the walls fell down but a couple of bandaids and some chewing gum did the job. Everythings hunky dory ...phew was a bit 😶 embarrassing for a bit there.

I added something to a wall sweetyheart. The Purple edges with a touch of sparkly Red falling glitter eases into a soft Mauve on the inside. Bang in the middles an anamated beautiful 🕊 peace dove gently flying through a magnificent glowing 🌈 rainbow.

The entire walls been sculptured into a 💗 that pulsates with every gentle movement of the birdys graceful wing movement.

If you look really closely at the glitter it says in tinsy winsy writing that you can only read with these special glasses 🍷🍸 how much you're deeply loved and appreciated. It also says you're needed and such an amazing friend.

Eternal love sweetyheart 😚🤗👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🤝

Hi dear Pawsy 🤗🐾 Grandy and readers ☺

Dear Pawsy I'm so sorry not replying sooner oops and
thank you for that hug for the beautiful sweet Mr Deebi. He's a dear man. Love him deeply the sweetheart.
He appreciated the hug.
True good listeners are rare.

Haha good point about siestas 😅 we don't sound old that way do we 😄

Yes arthritis is nasty stuff. I had a walk yesterday with Mr lovely and sticks. Ok without but easier with them at times. It's that bizzo with the back of the legs.

With the back being dicey atm I've withdrawn a bit but ok.
Poor thing being so cold where you are I imagine the joints complain somewhat.

Pretty lucky so far here with Covid hoping it stays clear. So much grief for so many. Bad news.

You're welcome Pawsy re CC I've only ever known your posts to be very supportive warm and helpful. You speak well and wisely.

Hope you're going ok there dear friend.
Big smile to Woofa and a virtual hug...too scared too if we were in rl (real life) 😅

Many thanks Pawsy. Glad to know you ☺🤗🐾🕊💗🐶🥜 meaty bone not a Pumpkin in virtual land 😉...wait up...here we go...🍗...now we're talkin yum. Cya darl


😀

Dear DB and all~

I'm glad you were able to get out for a walk, even wiht 2 sticks. I find Just being somewhere else takes the mind away from the normal mundane problems.

I only occasionally use 2 sticks, so keep a folding one in my jacket pocket. Has come in handy a few times -can you do the reverse and if going good fold one up for a bit?

From the description of your pulsating heart wall I reckon my iceberg got off light.

Croix

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Croixy, and everyone...🤗..

Well done getting your trade qualification for a carpenter...During these lockdown we can get any qualifications we want to...Google style😂😂..

I love the extra you added to my room...can’t wait until I visit you next..,Live the pulsating 💓 wall...So beautiful thank you.....I think that with our imagination and fantasy you could and would make a wonderful interior decorator...

Thats okay using 2 sticks...Better using 2 then falling down and hurting yourself which could be serious.....I think Mr Walrus has been caring around an extra tusk/tooth under his unique jacket...for years, and transferred the idea onto his walking sticks....I think that’s a great idea..

Deebi... meaning to ask a few times now but it slipped my mind....How has your foot been honey?..

Thats okay to withdraw at times bbff...and give yourself some gentle self care....you have been busy these past few months..packing..then unpacking...getting yourselves organised and settled in...it all takes so much energy out of our mental and physical health....

Please take it easy bbff...eternal love to you dear bbff..💚🌹💜🧸🤗🌈🕊..,

Hugs and love everyone...💜💚🦋🌹..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

Hi good people ☺

Well hello Mr Croixy 🐧 nice of you to drop in.

Ohh the backs are cruel aren't they. For many yrs I had little/no reprieve from 24/7 excrutiating pain. Walking was OMG 😲 Turtles 🐢 appeared to be sprinting 🏃‍♀️in comparison.

These days I even have mild outs like this last one.
It seems the recliner spares the wicked heart stopping shooting pain on slight bending in the mornings. Either it's grinding as if my backs breaking or just the phenomenal pain. Either is hell beyond.

I literally was seconds too late for a very good condition electric lifting recliner for $150 at an op shop. Was happy the Mum who the chook was getting it for needed it but what a shame 😯. Hoping something will turn up doubt I'd be lucky to score one the same but we don't know what lays in wait ahead. I'm in need of esp in back outs that are pretty regular the mutts.

Loven folding a stick & carrying it.
One day I plan to make a large material bag/s pockets galore plenty of room. I'll do that thx.

I hope yours isn't giving you too much grief.

Be visiting you sometime ☺

Thanks Mr Croixy 🐧 Hope your days are good you really deserve good for the amount of good you have/do for the community. Thank you ☺

Keep on keeping on nice and steady marey

⚘🐧 oh I bought you some lunch too...🐡... it's a puffer fish so that you feel pleasantly full and content which is a must because as you can see it's only very small. I'm good like that see... always looking out for the local Walruses esp the ones that have lost a tooth...Ohh Grandy I cracked up 😂 at you saying about Croixys Walrus tooth for a stick...you're a classic girl 🤗

Grandy gorjy (gorgeous) I'll bbl hun. Started a post 😚👩‍❤️‍👩 I'm in BP so pretty much here and there as you'd know 😄

Cyaz 😊⚘

Dear Grandy always good seeing you dear besty 👩‍❤️‍👩 hi everyone ☺

I will say the 13.5 yr master carpentry course went quite fast.

Thx and funny you mentioning my/our interior design skills... cause see being a master and all I was offered considerable $ for design by several delux companies.
The extra $2 should be of great benefit don't ya think 🙄 thinking we could go halves.

Thanks for asking sweetygirl my Achilles is only slight now hoping nearly gone but the cursing bursitis is still there. How's yours going hun?
Probs get the needle 😲 no hurry from what I've seen/heard. Can live with but does ouch.

My biggest concern apart from cursing hip 😭 is the back of the thighs walking. I'll look into it. Bad news yet the other day I was as good as Gold apart from hip. Twice now it's been good.
Have been doing more walking & slowly building to more often.

Grandy I really appreciate what you say Bbff.
Ohh yeah SO over the un/ packing yes it's been mths.
At least we've nearly moved Mr adorabubble 😍 oh Grandy what a beautiful easy man.
So home run at last. Seriously are we bloody there yet.
We did a big stint yesterday quite chuffed.

Often in BP I really want to talk but that don't vice gets stronger. It all passes but also still so hard to express in those times. I think that we can get through BP depression and ptsd and anxiety there's high hope for people without those or some. It's so terribly deep isn't it. More manageable in type 2 but still evil hard.

We're having a go not getting anyone in. It'll improve soon when I finish repayments to centrelink loan and next year we'll finish repays to bond loan.
So just gotta win the lotto in the mean time. We're not greedy... just a few million will be fine.

In BP it's still very hard but not as mighty as type 1. I miss terribly the booming highs and ecstasy though. It was a major sacrifice although I do still have touches of supreme bliss and enjoy the mind waking and the productive side which I'm learning to channell.
You want to be alive in mania. I understand why people want to hold onto life. Between times I'm happy but ok to die because I guess from the thrashing my mh has given me over my life killing self esteem creating inferiority complex etc.

I deeply love and appreciate you Grandy like you wouldn't believe. Thank you for our amazing friendship and time. Never forgotten.
PubAok sweetyheart I need you 🤗😚👩‍❤️‍👩💜🤝👀💗 oh oh 😅 making a special 🎁 shouldn't be too long ✨

Dear beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, and everyone....🤗..

Isn’t great that here on BB, we can become whoever we want to become😂..

Im so pleased to hear that your foot is not as bad as it was..I hope it continues to heal for you..even though now mines been gone for a few years... If I walk barefoot or in thongs I feel the slight bruising feeling on my heels...then I take note and wear proper shoes...

You’ll get their with your unpacking..it takes time..and I think a very tedious and heavy job...Once you’re finished I think you both will deserve a beautiful day off to sit on the beach and enjoy watching those waves throwing themselves into the shore, saying hello to everyone...I used to put a shell to my ear...and listen to the ocean..you really can hear it...if you listen intently...

BP is hard bbff....and I also believe that we can through BP depression, anxiety and even though it’s harder PTSD as well....everything changes....we change each second of the day and night..nothing ever really stands still does it?...Life can be hard in BP....but it can also be very beautiful as well...It’s just trying to balance life the best we can...

You’re a wonderful person Deebi...not just saying that either...it’s the truth, your always putting in the hard yards and coming out on top..as well as helping anyone you can...A really great inspiration to everyone here...

Eternal love dearest bbff..💚🌹🕊👼🦄🌈🧸🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

Hello Deebi,

Oh lass that is not good Mr Deebi being in hospital... especially hard that you can't visit...

I am sending lots of healing vibes & Woofa sends feel better soon snuffles... he did offer to snuggle up with Mr Deebi... but I don't think it would do Mr Deebi any good being squished by Woofa however well intended... 😅

I hope they work out quickly what is wrong... knowing what it is & how they can treat it is important.

Do take care of you lass

Hugs

Paws

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Paws and everyone....🤗..

Awe I’m really sorry that Mr. Deebi..is in hospital...My DIL has had pancreatitis and I do believe it’s very very painful...send mr Deebi a very gentle hug and a get well card..with some flowers 💐 and a packet of his favourite chocolates....

Its sad you cannot visit him...I know that would be hard for you to do...as your love for each other is strong...I wish you both only the best in life..💚🦄👼🕊....sending you both my deep love 💚, lots of gentle hugs👼🤗 through our golden chain that holds us together as the bestest bbffers.....Haha new words to add to the dictionary..😂...

Please take good care of you Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, while your home alone..no heavy lifting...

Very much love precious ladies..💚🦄😁..

Here for you Deebi, if ever you need to talk..

Grandy.,.🦄👼🌈🦋..

Thank you both very much 🤗

Yes Grandy want to talk soon
Thank you very much beautiful for that comforting comment about being there if I need to talk.

Eyes are so close to falling out gorgeous came home yesterday.

Back on Tues for removal of Gallstones. Gravels worse pain than big stones wow I remember once nursing seeing a biggy that also are very painful.

Surgeon said there are risks. Unsure if that's a general comment to all patients which is reasonable because of anaesthetic or & any operation age etc...and here we had anxiety going to town...they're going to look around too & operate if need be. I'm unsure if they've ruled out Pancreatitis that btw has no surgical intervention. Just analgesics (pain relief) and ride it through.

I suspected it was bowel & they too queried obstruction then of course anxiety pushed me further ? Cancer and if anything else.
Him dying is a strong one with/out being so crook.

The dear loves worried about complications. He's only in his life had 1 biggy at a young age.

Hacked off he was sent home without pain relief.
The big one wasn't helping much only eased it a bit.
He's going to say at hospital ...nicely. Good on him.

Anxiety if I let it take hold by thinking on an on it'll add to stress and depression.

Atm I'm trying to settle for it being on my mind concerning me and same Grandy I'll have to deal with it all at the time if anything else that's a worry.

Gotta zonk out now nigh nite. It's only early.

Love to you both lovely friends. Pawsy I'll bbl to reply to you darls ☺

👩‍❤️‍👩💜🐾🕊🤝⚘

Hiyaz bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 and Pawsy 🐾 and all

Lot to say just been so full on.

My darlin had his gallbladder out today. He also has Pancreatitis the dear man. No clue how he is hes not in a ward yet. Starting to worry 😭

Last I heard they were trying to get on top of the pain.

Been looking everywhere for something and cant find it.

I love this dear darling so much.

Heard today covids been here. Sewerage ok.

Tired and really worrying now

👩‍❤️‍👩👀🤗

Hello Deebi,

Oh the poor lad... that sounds very painful... it's good to hear he is now on the ward... it must be so hard for you lass not being able to be there with him...

After all the worry today I think it would be a good idea for you to try & have an early night..

Hugs

Paws

Hello Beautiful Deebi,

Just popping in to send you both my everlasting love, care and some big but gentle hugs to you both....

Im pleased to hear that mr beautiful is now in the wards...

Its hard when your not allowed to visit your loved one in hospital....He is in the best place possible right now, and being cared for by our amazing nurses....Wishing you and mr Deebi...all the very best.....love to you both and some healing vibes through our golden chain....

Much love bbff....

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy....💚🦄👼🌈

Hi bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 Pawsy 🐾 and readers 👋
Thanks so much girls you're lovely. It's always comforting with your very appreciated support.

Pawsy I had a lovely image of gorgeous Woofa wanting to snuggle next to the darling thanks for that 😄
He got a laugh too.
Grandy I passed yours on too ya lovelies. Very appreciated especially the choccys he loves as much as we do. Clearly the man has excellent tastes 😉

Poor honey nasty bizzo to go through one let alone two high pain conditions.
The op recovery and whole deal takes time to recoop. Poor love I read Pancreatitis can be a few days to wks for recovery. No surgical intervention for it.
The Gallstones can return bummer. Hes had the G.bladder out.

Surprisingly amidst BP and other mh issues I got there packing Mr 😍 hospital bag. It was pathetically 😅 slow but got there which is the main thing.

He's a dear man. Yes not being there's a poop tho easier accepting it knowing why.

I'm so grateful for today's technology. Mobiles are a god send.
The stress was high, his volume was playing up which I've worked a way around and mine was a bit naughty too in bits. The LandLine then wasn't working but sorted now with several calls and lot of time. Yay

What sank my heart was seeing him in so much pain.
He rarely volunteers his feelings. It took about 5 concerned asks.
The beautiful thing I could see in his face something was wrong but that was after I started asking. Sensed it.
He mostly when I ask says what's happening then. The pain probs held him back poor fella

Grandy love I had a lovely memory of hearing the ocean at school. Thx for that sweetyheart and for your always caring post including to beautiful Mr Deebi 😍 he's thankful too ☺ I still sometimes put the sheet over part of his head and tell him that's the hat Grandy knitted you 😄 when it's cool

Ditto lovey it's good knowing we can get on top of all this. In normal times Ptsd's pop up but I can handle the memories without too much grief. Another story in BP usually. Thinking sometime I'll do another mindspot course. My head was in a lot worse shape then with greieving/BP type 1/higher anxiety. They say a lot repeat it. At times I remember bits and apply.

Bbl reminders BP/Ptsd/anxiety/hyper vigilance/paranoia/high stress moments/diet/calm/(reminders) walking/unwell again but ok.

Always deep love bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩🤗👀💜 care and love to you too Pawsy you're both pretty awesome don't ya think 🤗🤗

Hello Deebi, wave to Mr Deebi,

Lass it's quite natural for you to be feeling all those things... even if you didn't have mh issues they would pop into your mind... especially given what you have dealt with in the past...

Now you need to keep reminding yourself that the doctors have found what is wrong... it is treatable & your Mr Lovely will be home soon... if you think doing the mindspot course might help then go for it... or perhaps you could spend the time making plans for when Mr Deebi gets home... things to keep him occupied if he has to rest & not do much... or hiding the yummy food he might not be allowed at first (where you can still reach them of course)...

Do be gentle with yourself lass & reach out if you find yourself worrying in circles

Huggliest of hugs for you & Mr D

Paws

Hey Pawsy 🐾 Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and good people out there ☺

As mentioned I always very much appreciate what and how you say and support. Thanks darl 🤗

The mindspot course is fairly intense and full on. Excellent though. Athough they allow time but not so much that people wouldn't bother to continue or drift off it goes for a few wks if I remember.

No it'd be sometime way later after Mr recoops and we're unpacked that he won't be doing much at all till after full recovery.

I actually plan to do, which has been forever but have a project for Mil she'll be 87 this yr. It's an activity colouring book with my art incorporated to hopefully stimulate parts of elderly peoples minds and be enjoyable and varied.

Also aim to get stuck into the art and sewing but all after we finally get the place in order. So many health problems slowing the process but can't be helped. Just life throwing wobblies but tomoz always arrives eh

Several ideas so I need to get cracking and possibly sell these down the track. Need to make doosh. Some other ideas too that in the past what I've made has sold door to door.

Thanks for that post. Well put and constructive. You're an asset to the forums and to us that you support. Truth 🤗

Hope you're doing ok huns ☺

👩‍❤️‍👩💜🐾🤝⚘

Hi Deebi and to all reading,

Just dropped by and have had a quick read here. Seems there is a lot going on for you Deebi and for Mr Deebi as well.

Wishing him all the best with his recovery and wishing you strength as well.

You have some wonderful people here supporting you, this community is so very special isn't it!

Take care of yourself in all of this. Hugs to you from Dools

Hello beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩., Paws, Dools and everyone....🤗..

How is your beloved Mr Deebi feeling now...I hope he is feeling much better and on his way to healing...poor man he must have been in a lot of pain..I hope that has eased for me....

I love the idea of an activity book for your beautiful mil....I do think about her at times...I hope she is doing well....A long time ago..Do you have any puzzles or drawings in mind that your doing or going to do for your book.....I can’t wait to hear your ideas.....another life time and I was in high school...one of my teachers volunteered at her local hospital and as a project she asked us to all to each make a page so she could make some activity booklets for the sick children....I remember me doing a find a word puzzle...

Very true precious friend..the sun rises each day for a better tomorrow....I hope each day it rises that you have a great day....I wish so much that I could take away your health problems...You are an inspiration to me the way you keep getting on top of your pain and continually move forward...

I have been thinking about the sound of the sea, and found on YouTube some really nice sounds of the waves breaking at the shore and a seagull here and their whistling it’s presence...So peaceful...I love the smell and sound of the sea...I looked but couldn’t find a YouTube video that also added the smell of the salt air 😂😂😂😂...who knows the way technology is going these days..that just might be the next thing they discover😂..

Much love to you precious bbff...big hugs and lots of care given in my 💭..I wish I could give them to you in r/l...💚🧸🤗🌈🕊🌹

Please everyone reading take really good care of yourselves..you’re all awesome and wonderful people...love, care and hugs..💜🦋🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

Hi Doolsy ⚘ Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 readers and all 👋

Mr 😍 said to thank you all for your care and support. Goes for me too. He's finally free of pain 2 days now. Had his Gall bladder taken out (cholecystectomy) which was rotten. Apparently he's had big stones for yrs. No pain till just. He has another procedure soon to get a biggy out from the bile duct. The stones can return. He's recovered well the poor babe. We had walkies to shops last 2 days.

Yes Doolsy it is a great community. Everyone doing hard yards and being so good and kind helping eachother.

Grandy hi darlin 🤗 It seems like 10% of sheer bliss activity progress and just feeling so dam good. Pftt gift from God with a devils pricetag!

Then 90% trying like billyo to not sink lower and cope. It's a constant battle against our own flipping heads. SO stinkin hard. If it wasnt for the mania I honestly don't know if I'd bother.

Something good but probs was extended mania I was very calm through the dam PTSD thoughts and anxiety absolutely both slammed yet I could let the ptsd must be 100's slide without pain which mania helps with. The anxiety I talked myself through. Assuming the scenarios are another version of anxiety slamming too of either arguments or someone might hurt me were/are both constant. Was hypervigilant a few times too. Awful!

The stress was ott as always then the last few days have been OMG. Oh and all the negative thinking being down on myself, over people but talking if we see them at shops or walking. All above still goin on.

Not nice the I guess dark side of me must be a part of me. It's truly like the devils in there. I am winning but struth!!!

SO tired. I know roughly where this thing is, its very important but sigh ...I'll look again later. One day we'll be unpacked and normality

I did manage to get a few bits sorted. Internet & organizing things for 😍 and us. Takes ever fibre of concentration. Frustration getting things done. They did get done tho

It's SO full on & SO bloody often. I'll persevere tho nearly gave in to wrong choice thoughts but stopped them.

I'm fed up being so damn broke then caving into smokes that I'm racking up loans for mostly! Ok to give up in normal times still.

Playing a lot of poker enjoying not loving it. With peeps all over the world. Good on Oz can't play for money as in real money. I got into trouble a while back. Little cost for chips. No Pokies no doosh

Yes,I too Like that writing carrying stuff it' comforting isn't it.

👩‍❤️‍👩💜 thx all ☺

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩,

I felt heartbroken for you when I listened to you post..it sounds like you are being pulled through the wringer by...non other then that horrible, evil Beasty...

Youre doing very well in managing your PTSD and depression, by letting those thoughts thoughts drift past your mind and not letting the thoughts grow and fester inside your head..it is very hard isn’t it honey..I remember you used self talk to help you manage..do you still use them?...

Awe bbff, it was hard to read that you nearly gave in to wrong choice, and if it wasn’t for mania, you don’t know if you would bother.....Yes it’s hard to deal with these thoughts, but I have a lot of faith in you that you are stronger...Much much stronger then beasty and the negativity that [IT]xx possesses...I know you...and I know you can get through this....

Have you started the colouring in book for your beautiful mil....I think she will be so thrilled and excited to colour it once your finished it....

Please bbff...reach out to us all here...if you need to, you have been here for us, for so long and I just wanted to tell you that I/we are here for you precious bbff....You matter to us so much..

Sending you my deep SSS love and a very special hug that you can feel the warmth of my care through...💚🌈🦄👼🧸🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...

Dear bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 and all including readers ☺

Grandy my sss thank you dear friend. It's so damned deep full on extremely stressful. So much going on at once.

I had a whopper dose of hyperventilating. I can laugh about now. Rang Mr cute 😍 in hospital intending to support. Lol I did ask after but just blurted out all the rot going on ..rah rah rah. After about 2/3 mins finally got my breath. Must've sounded like an obscene ph call 😂The dear love just listened and when I'd finally caught my breath he said "do you feel better now" ...he's precious 😍

Yes I did. A lot of stress came out. Wow sure did.

It feels like it won't stop. Waking up crying's not a good way to feel as we all know. Shower here and there.

Sleeps still fairly erratic. Slowly coming back

The constant self doubt just slam. Damned scenarios. I feel if any part of me that is crazy it's that. Deep down I know I'm not but trying telling beastys [ITxx] another matter.

I'm able just though it takes every mite of effort to focus on normal convo. Even laughs/joking if I'm around people but by geez it's hard when a huge part of you's trying and doing such a good job at berating yourself. I'm sure IT's (xx) got a diploma in sabotage.

Yes self talk I still when I think to. I'm getting a touch better at being more aware (Mindful) moreso catching the thoughts as they're taking me down. Then either challenging them or stopping emotions ruling. Until the next split second the next one hurtles through

Constant. I'm starting to manage some positives/happies too which is good til they run into ptsds leading to another sad. Tornado!

A plus is knowing I've been through unbearable worse and survived it. Nearly not often, but have.

I often remember Doolsy Wolfy Croixy Starwolf Peppy Quirky you too of course bbff your achievement thread amidst so many things.. Not fighting it as such, try calmness (Paul 🤗)

I think often about ages ago you so gently saying about the walls we build, to heal we need them down. I wasn't arguing exactly but forgot to say you're right lovey 🤗 They hold it all in. Hun if you know you're right keep at me with reasons. It can take an age but when I can see it I'll back down/apologise if need be. Stubbornness can save but also be a curse. I know it can be frustrating. I see it and feel it with others the same.

Mostly we bed around 10pm now. Not as many day sleeps. Tho should to recoop quicker. Hard with mania popping in here & there

Deep love bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩💜🤗 thank you all 🤗