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Forums / Long term support over the journey / Surviving: Being in a better place

Topic: Surviving: Being in a better place

  1. Croix
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    2 September 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Dear DB~

    I know your are having a very hard time - even discounting physical troubles, and old established problems and thought patterns are the hardest to reduce .

    There are two very big buts though

    The first is you think of others

    The second (a real precious gem) is your sense of humor keeps on seeping though and blunting a little of the edges.

    I always take encouragement from reading your posts

    Croix

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  2. Ggrand
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    7 September 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Croixy, Paws and everyone...🤗..

    Oh no..Hyperventilating can very serious if you can’t get yourself to realise your doing it and calm yourself down...I remember so well that once in hyperventilating oI couldn’t slow down my breathing and my arms and legs twisted out of shape, because of lack of oxygen...Please bbff...If you can... try to catch yourself earlier on when you start doing it and slow down your breathing...or breathe into a paper bag....

    Deebi...We should never berate ourselves ever....I know I have and still do at times...it gives our depression and self dislike something to feed off and grow...If you speak nice things about yourself, it starves depression and makes it weaker for a short time...eventually with lots of self care and compassion..depression just might get sick of trying and run a way....

    Its okay to not be okay Deebi..and it’s okay that others know that your not okay...it’s hard and I feel keeping a mask on all the time does more harm to our mental health by trying to hide it...every time we go out with friends...Sometimes you just need to feel what you’re feeling...when you’re feeling it....and let it out and not hide it....

    I hope Mr Deebi is improving with each second of the day and night...poor man....but the luckiest man in the world because he has a very beautiful, caring and loving partner...

    Always here for you bbff if you feel to talk about anything at all....Stay safe precious friend...Eternal love and care..💚🕊🦋🌈🧸🤗🦄👼..

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

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  3. demonblaster
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    9 September 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi dear bbff Croixy and Pawsy

    Thank you for your beautiful support bbl to reply properly.

    Just wanted to vent for now. At least I was nearly out of poor mh still tired but my heads manageable tho out of anger more than anything else I just had a cry.

    SO bloody angry! I'll leave any other expletives for home!

    6 measley mths here struggling like hell paying $400 rent and the mongrels not only have offered a further pathetic 6 mth lease they're bumping the rent up to $425. MONGRELS!

    We haven't even unpacked yet!

    Then what after that pathetic! 6 mths. SO angry.

    I'm going to say my bit to them face on and it'd better be for at least a year. Whats worse they know we both lost $200 each. It is that amount.

    Mutts.

    Sorry Grandy if me being so angry upsets you. I'm fuming but won't swear at them.

    Blaming the climate! Yeah right Covid climate!

    Goin to ring tenancy and $25 is a huge bump the .....

    Love you bbff 🤗💜👩‍❤️‍👩🗯always. No idea what to do now the stinkin sods!! SO happy here pffttt 😭😢😤😡😠

    Bbl thanks for listening and loving me Grandy.

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  4. Ggrand
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    10 September 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩,

    Please don’t be sorry to me that your angry...anger is a natural emotion same as all the others we have...To be honest, I wish I could get angry..

    $25.00 is a huge bump up..and so unfair since you only recently signed the lease papers..,I don’t know about leases etc.,,I thought once a lease is signed for a certain amount per week, they couldn’t change that price until the lease has expired..I am probably wrong though.,To me it seems just so unfair..,,If I could I would certainly be you and Mr Deebi’s house partner....We could help each other so much...I think..

    Deebi...honey, yes if you feel to say your bit, which I know your entitled to...Please try hard to not let your thoughts overtake and say the wrong things to them....I know when anger strikes my husband...words he spoke to me or our children could never be taken back....So Please honey.... have your say as much as you need to..to clear all this up...just be careful of the words you choose..because afterwards like anyone else with mh..you will go over and over the conversation in your mind and I don’t want you to feel down by what you said.....Sorry if I’ve said wrong..just that I live and care so much for you and don’t want you downing/berating yourself at all.....

    Always here for you my bestest bbff...whenever you need to vent, just go for it honey..that’s what here is for..

    My deepest care, and love precious friend...🦋🕊💚🧸🤗.

    Grandy...

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  5. Paw Prints
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    14 September 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Deebi, wave to everyone,

    Oh lass you are in the wars aren't you... you have every right to be angry about the rent increase... I won't say what I really think of them as you would have to wash my mouth out with soap. I really hope you have been able to get help from the tenancy mob.

    How are you coping lass?.. Are you & Mr Deebi giving yourselves some time out from all the worry & just doing something nice together each day?... Even just looking at each other & soaking up how wonderful it is that the two of you found each other.

    Lass all your friends here are in your corner... we have lots of ears if you want/need to vent & lots of shoulders if you need a cry... plus I will whip up a yummy calorie free chocolate cake with Kahlua cream & icing that we can all indulge with over a cuppa...

    Be gentle with yourself

    Huggliest of hugs to you both

    Paws

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  6. Ggrand
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    21 September 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello beautiful bbff Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

    Just popping in to do a friendship check in....

    Are you okay?....no pressure to answer honey...

    I made a delicious chocolate cherry cake with crushed walnuts on top of a very creamy rich chocolate icing...and also bought over with me some hot chocolate with mini marshmallows on top.....

    I thought that we could all enjoy them together while we prattle about what ever we want to prattle about😁..

    Sending you some love and care on that golden thread of ours...💚💫💜..always 💭 24/7...🧸🤗..

    Love and hugs everyone...💜🤗..

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...l

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  7. Croix
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    21 September 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Dear DB~

    I'm doing the same as Grandy -seeing how you are. It's horrible to be gouged by some greedy person and not be able to do anything.

    Croix

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  8. blondguy
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    21 September 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hey DB

    Grandy summed it up so well....just a friendship check

    Bearhug if thats okay

    Paul

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  9. demonblaster
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    22 September 2021

    Hey lovely people

    Thank you.

    I'll be ok and am often at times. Then like today haven't stopped crying since I got up around hr and half ago. Funny thing is I'm not exactly sure why. Just release I guess. This ones been long hard and thrown a couple extra day jobs of mania in for good measure. Couldn't have me getting through hell too quickly.

    If there was no mania. Yeah well. And there is so that's what I should be focusing on.

    Talk to youse properly another time.

    You're all very appreciated, again thank you.

    👩‍❤️‍👩💜🗯

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  10. demonblaster
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    2 October 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hey Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 Paws 🐾 Croixy 🐧 and Paul 🤗

    Many thanks for your support beautiful people ☺

    Croixy thank you I was deeply moved.

    Grandy love I'd have you in a heartbeat living here geez it'd be amazing. There's even a doggy door to outside in the courtyard. We're growing very impressive weeds there 😆

    This is if they give us our first lease Grandz apparently they dont lease for the first 6mths. I get that but SO hacked off this is only for 6 measley stinkin mths. No security we have what so ever. I had to say our bit so mailed a reply today. We were told a long lease by previous estate agents. Grrr big time.

    Otherwise I feel they're walking over us which they pretty much are anyway! Wasn't rude just said my piece and asked at least for a yr. Troubles here is going insane with property $ with covid. Probs have to leave here sometime 😓 really love it here but that's da breaks eh. Enjoy while we can I guess. Still not moved in properly yet.

    It's so hard talking through the hards. So much I want to say but doings another thing. This was very long and hard but no harder than before. There's hell and hell. Happy not on meds.

    We've been doing fairly regular not long but walks and have lost about 24kgs. Mr 😍 has lost weight too the gorgeous darling.

    We see other besty quite often which is great we live so close now. That's where I could imagine you being so comfy Grandy.

    I'm getting closer to finding the Damn thingy I've Been looking for. I know I'ts B... close 😆 there no swears but annoys me that I go hard at things for a while then the mind wanders but I'll keep at it I really wanna pinpoint it. Pfftt to moving eh 😕

    I botched again a couple of times here, cant say much more but our dear Wolfy made good sense. Not doing those threads anymore I repeatedly unintentionally botch.

    Slowly coming good out of this mess. Off the puffs again too. Going to bite the bullet this next MH mess costing a small fortune and borrowing. Adds to stress. Sigh.

    Very happy with this beautiful darling he's a lovely sweet man the precious 😍

    Stoked here without security though.

    Hope lifes being good to you all.

    Grandy so much love darls seriously you're always in my mind. PubAok yAdimh lySvm sss 🤗👩‍❤️‍👩💜👼🌞🗯😍🕊🐧🐾

    Thanks again lovelies 👋☺

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  11. Ggrand
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    6 October 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Paws and everyone.....🤗.

    Thats So not fair about the lease..I remember when we rented, we always had to sign a 6 months lease..then after the first 6 months it was optional if we wanted another 6 months or 12 months....Things are so different in the world lately...seems everything is in favour of the rich....

    Property prices are going up in regional NSW...as people are wanting to move into rural and get away from COVID....Houses 2/3 bedroom in the little towns and villages here are still well under $150,000...Doesn’t make sense does it really..the same house here for let’s say $100,000.00 sells anywhere from $400,000.00 plus in the Sydney suburbs...

    I’m sorry Deebi...You misplacing something...geez I do that a lot..put it in a safe place I’ll remember...then a week after completely forgetting where I put it.😔...it does get frustrating and annoying...

    Talking coherently while in a downer is near impossible for me...I start by starting in my notes..sometimes it can take many hours...days even...but eventually it gets done...Never no hurry to do things...

    I love it that you and Mr. Beautiful are talking walks together...that’s so sweet...Wow 24 kilos it a lot of weight to loose..,that’s like 48 containers of margarine...So proud of you bbff....I changed my eating habits and lost 9 kilos..but slipped up when problems came my way...and put another 2 kilos on..,,comfort eating dux,,,but sometimes it’s as good as a hug 🥴.

    You’re doing a great job precious bbff, with what you’ve been up to....Bi-Polar is one heck of a thing to manage...and you’re really doing that amazingly.....as well looking after yourself your also looking after Mr. Deebi..

    I ready all the post that you write out....and couldn’t find any you botched up...You’re a beautiful and gentle person Deebi... your posts help lots of people here...keep posting when you feel, that you can help someone...because you always do..,.you have and still do help me so much, in ways you’re unaware off..,

    Big love and deep care for you bbff..💚🧸🤗🦋🌹🕊...I really hope you’re better then okay... 💭 are daily honey with care and respect....🦄👼.

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...

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  12. monkey_magic
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    7 October 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello,

    Just checking in here after a long hiatus to wish you well. No meds, no puffs and a 24kgs loss plus a new place is huge!

    I hope you are secretly or very proud of all of those achievements!

    No security isn't great but here's to hoping things continue to go you are Mr way! You've also held onto a long relationship which is another big achievement!

    Doing well on all those fronts DB!

    💞

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  13. Paw Prints
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    15 October 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Deebi, wave to Mr Deebi,

    How are you going lass?... You should be proud of you getting off the puffs (for any length of time)... plus being out & about getting gentle exercise... I love that you & Mr Deebi are doing this together... it sounds like Mr Deebi has made a good recovery.

    Wow 24kgs is amazing... I hope you are finding losing that much along with the walking is helping to reduce some of your pain...

    I'm keeping everything crossed for you lass that beasty goes away... you deserve a break from all its nonsense...

    Huggliest of hugs

    Paws

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  14. Ggrand
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    16 October 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful bbff..Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🤗..

    Thinking of you precious friend...

    Hoping so much you’re okay..

    Just wanted to drop in and give you a big bunch of deep purple daisies for your kitchen table....and a crystal vase wth a beautiful red rose 🌹.....

    Repeat after me.....

    I am strong...

    I am beautiful....

    I am loved...

    I am a winner...

    I am Demonblaster...👿 🔫....The beautiful and caring Deebi ....

    How are you feeling dear bbff...

    Love, care and hugs....💚🦋🤗..

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...

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  15. demonblaster
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    17 October 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi dear bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 Pawsy 🐾 Magic 🐒 and readers ☺

    Thank you lovely people for your time care and support it means a lot. Very appreciated.

    I'm good thanks Grandy and all just spending a lot of time playing poker. Free but you can buy chips not expensive but adds up I guess.

    Dear darling Mr Deebi 😍 tomoz is having another op to get a large stone out hopefully from the bile duct. He'll be in o/n the sweetheart.

    We have nearly all his furniture here now so he's been ploughing quietly through the endless paperwork. We've done stacks already. Stuff you don't get round to over the yrs. Painful jobby. Still heap of boxes to unpack we're just taking our time.

    Oh emailed them (rental) finally and gave a lot of thought how to respond.. with no anger Grandz yay 😊 and said my thing respectfully. Asked for a yrs lease too which we got yay. Oh btw Grandy sorry yes we did have an initial 6mth lease.

    Grandy thank you for saying those lovely things 🤗 about posting you're so lovely and that gorgeous last post. I love and always appreciate you and what you say.

    Yes Pawsy I am getting some good hip relief tho lately some severe leg ache I think from there. It's not as bad as it's been. Also walkings not as bad at all at the back of the legs. Phew.

    Been pretty naughty with choccy & have to have blood tests done. Been avoiding that but need to.

    Beautiful day here as mostly is. Did I say we're doing bits here and there unpacking.

    Love it here so nice and this area.

    Magic thanks too for your visit darl. Nice seeing you too ☺

    We're just off for a walk and lunch.

    Thanks girls ☺🤗🐾🐒⚘

    Huge love always 🗯👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🤝👂💗🐉 dear bbff 🤗

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  16. demonblaster
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    20 October 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Grandy love

    😢 I thought I was a true friend to you too like you are to me

    👩‍❤️‍👩🤗💜😢

  17. Ggrand
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    20 October 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...

    You are my true friend...I’m sorry if I said wrong..😢..

    Please talk to me honey and tell me why you’re doubting our beautiful friendship....I am always here for you with unconditional love and care....💚🧸🕊🌹🦄👼...

    How is Mr. Deebi after his operation and o/n stay at the hospital....I hope he is doing good and you of course bbff...

    Thats okay being naughty with the chocolate...I know I can be at times when I get a craving...I don’t buy at shopping any chocolate anymore..and the long trip into town makes me think twice before I drive in to buy some😁...

    I am very proud of you not getting angry when you had your say with an email....Sometimes when people are angry they say things they regret later on..it’s always a good thing to sit back for a day or two until the anger leaves you...so that way out thinking is more rational... Well done beautiful bbff..I know that would have been hard for you to do.....

    Deebi...Please try hard honey to believe that our friendship is solid ...as solid as the purest pieces of gold that can be found on the universe....Which links our hearts and souls together forever....

    I am really sorry that I made you feel 😢...Please believe in our friendship...every single second of each day...

    Sending you my love, care and gentle bear hugs to your heart and soul my beautiful bbff...💚🦋🌹🕊🍀👼💕🧸🤗.

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...🌜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌛...4 eva My bbff 🌜💚🌛

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  18. demonblaster
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    20 October 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hey sweetyheart 👩‍❤️‍👩

    I should have explained why... sorry darlin. Was reading back on Hannahs thread and read you saying your only real friends Betty which I'm eternally grateful you have her. Maybe you meant in rl. I thought that later.

    Thanks sweet yes I do believe in our solid bbff-ness 😄 always thinking of you and wishing we were rl 😢

    You don't ever say things wrong Grandy that just caught me at a tender moment I guess and wasn't thinking further.

    Thanks darlin for asking after this dear Mr Deebi 😍 the surgeon had emergencies again so it's on this Monday.

    Grandy its daily choccy often... oops but walking seems to be keeping it ok. Oh but yum. Yip we'll have to do same and not buy. Was going well having hardly any. Put on a couple kg I think. Going to sometime increase walking.

    True better to say things later and about more thought coming through. I left it a long time. Good a yr but would love longer with the lease. Hope so for next one.

    Grandy same you have no idea how much our friendship means. It's a beautiful feeling of security isn't it. Yes we are very solid sweet thing ☺😚🤗

    How are you doing lovey I'm sorry to put a heavy on you when it's so hard atm for you lovely one.

    You're honestly never far from my thoughts so often from day to dark. So much love and care dear friend. You're so beautiful Grandy ☺ pubAok yAdimh lysVm 🌞💜👩‍❤️‍👩🦋🤝👀🗯🌈😚🐁🕊

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  19. Ggrand
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    20 October 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...

    I am sorry Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...I hurt you...Definitely you are a true friend...SSS friendships cannot be broken...ever...You’re everyday in my 💭..and I am 💯 % honest in saying that..💚🦋🦄..

    I was talking about in r/l, I was thinking about how it’s hard for me to get very close to anyone that I feel safe enough to confide in...Mrs NSC started to be really kind and caring a while back..and we both confided in each other...The she can turn around and be bossy to me..knowing how I can be triggered....She made me feel like she can just abandon me anytime she wants to like at a drop of a hat..,..I don’t think real friends can do that to another person...

    If I could go out for walks.. and the walks take away the chocolate I ate....wow I too would be everyday having some.. I try not to eat because of my health, I’m over the worry about being over weight...Just trying to get more healthy as my cardiologist and Dr. have suggested...😁..

    I hope the operation goes good for Mr. Deebi....Mine has been cancelled for the abscess/cyst on my back...and it’s starting to fill again with that yucky stuff....If they have to lance it again..that will be 3 times...😢..

    I do hope you can stay their for many years...as you said you like it their, plus your closer to your friends and it’s a very beautiful place to live...Are you right on the coast, can you walk to the beach and can you see the beach from your apartment?....so many questions..it’s okay if you don’t want to answer..

    Always here for you my precious friend, in mind and soul..wish it was physically possible...Keeping that hope alive that one day it will be possible....

    Sending you my eternal love, care and heals of hugs..💚🌹💜🕊🍀🧸🤗..

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...

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  20. demonblaster
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    20 October 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Thank you gorgeous bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩

    That's quite ok darlin I didnt think further till after. Thanks for being so easy to talk to ☺ This is what real friends do. Love you very deeply dear Grandy 🤗💜💗

    Thanks hun re Mr Deebi I pass your msg's on and from Pawsy. So nice of youse. He says thank you both for your care.

    Oh and Pawsy he waved back btw it looked so cute.

    Where I was, was a few steps from one of the beaches Grandz. Here we're at the other end which is a few minutes drive away. Not far. A few beaches here.

    Yes I think be careful with Mrs nsc she seems to turn and sounds domineering. Probs deep down she's lovely but rough outside. Oh darlin I wish it was easier for you beautiful lady 🤗

    Ahh that damned cyst. Ouch I bet. Icky hun. Geez it must be difficult to cope with poor love.

    We're slowly getting things sorted here geez it'll be good when we get the last cupboard and have our gear stacked away as much as po. Be so good having a home with order not stuff everywhere. Getting there which is good just frustrating at times and hard to get things done at times.

    Ok gunna choof and play some more poker for a bit. I'm trying not to play hrs on end that way I got some bits done sarvo. Wanna start getting more sorted here and get stuck into the art.

    Me too Grandy I hold onto hope too. God I really hope one day.

    Ok lovely one I'll drop over to yours tomoz hun. Have read ☺

    Dunno where I'd be without you dear friend. Thanks for being the beautiful person you are. A privilege being your bbff 🦄🌞👩‍❤️‍👩💜 always ☄like Gold unbreakable yes 🗯🤝👀🌈🦋

    Tons of love precious soul 💗 nigh nite huns. I always think of you when I hear birdies and see the stars and moon amongst many many thoughts my gorgeous 😚

    Nigh nite lovely people out there 👋 we can do this!

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  21. Ggrand
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    22 October 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Waves to Paws and everyone...🤗.

    Sounds nice where you live..Beaches are really calming in many ways...this might seem silly but when I used to go to the beach..I always had a fear of a tsunami happening, I think it would be so nice living that close to the beach, if my fear disappeared...

    No hurry to unpack..but I can understand having your place in order would make you feel more comfortable and settled..

    Please let Mr Deebi know that I have spoken to his professionals and told them to be very gentle and caring with our lovely Mr Deebi..💚..Wishing him all the best wishes I have to wish...

    Mrs NSC..is so hard to understand..she will do anything for anybody....but in conversation she is alright right...and constantly downs a lot of people including her sons and their family...I think she does things for other people..for the recognition of doing so....Something she said once to me, made me think this way..,.

    What you been up to doing...anything special ?...Today I just laid around not doing much at all....Tomorrow is another day...,

    I hope you are okay precious bbff....💭 24/7..was thinking about the times we went on adventures...we had so much fun..they are good memories I think about a lot...

    Big love 💕 and gigantic huggley hugs and care..💚🧸🧸🦋🌹💜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🦄👼..

    My love, hugs and care to everyone...🌹💜🤗..

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

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  22. demonblaster
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    22 October 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hiya gorjy bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 and readers ☺

    😄 oh I love your humour Grandy. It sparked gorgeous memories of you jumping in the MRI machine with me and consulting with my Doctors ...you're a crack up. Thanks so much for your words with dear Mr Deebis doctors you're such a caring comfort. He's so cute one of the things he first said to me was he doesn't know what to say to people. He said thank you for your caring. Dear love we're hoping they can remove or squash it on the day otherwise they'll put a stent (wire kind of tube, they were like that for heart blood vessels unsure for this) in for 3 mths that should wear it down but that'd mean another op. The docs experienced & seemed like a decent man.

    She sure seems a handful and by the sounds has a lot of insecurities and problems. It's not good for you though having that sort of temper and degrading people constantly's a downer. Are you ok or is it too much huns?

    Me too darl I SO often think of our fun. I miss it but backed off cause I thought the psychs maybe didn't want you going there too much. Might be wrong and you weren't as often so I thought too ease off. I'm never sure wether to go there when you're struggling. Just want to look after you sweety girl ☺

    You know I've been realising a lot lately how important colour is in our lives. It's beautiful and gives us variety and lifting I find.

    In BP again seems fairly mild be good for a change hoping the other sides easier. I feel it's so close like a switch will turn on and I'll have it under control. Mania will be the key.

    Yip I have many lazy days. I'm trying to do less Pokerr so I do other things like post/read here & today we did more moving things and emptying boxes. Oh Grandz it's starting to become normal. There's serious cracks of light coming it's starting to feel like home and there's some order. I can adapt as we do but really don't like mess. If there's clutter it's usually tidy.

    We walked. Mr love shouted me a yum hamburger love them at that place he got a nice coffee and pie. Some bouts of poker and about to watch neighbours and the Rookie we recorded before bed. We usually go about 10pm now and up around 9.30am ish sometimes later. Texted a couple and a chat to a friend on Ph.

    So glad you're getting veranda time beautiful.

    Thanks so much for dropping by. Always love your company my beautiful sss besty 👩‍❤️‍👩💜🦄🕊😚🌞🌈☄🏍 😄

    Major deep love sweet lady ☺⚘🐅🐆🤣🤗

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  23. Croix
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    25 October 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Dear DB, with a wave to Grandy~

    As you know I'm just catching up and see you have moved and started to unpack, and that Mr DB has a stone to be removed. I understand stones can be very painful.

    If he has to have an op will you be able to manage OK? The original Mrs C had her gall bladder out and was none the worse for wear in the long term, but very sore for a while after the op, though that was in the old days and I'd expect surgery has improved a lot since then.

    Please let us know how you both go.

    Croix

    Croix

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  24. Paw Prints
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    31 October 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Deebi, wave to Mr Deebi,

    It sounds like the two of you are making great progress with sorting out & putting away all the clutter that moving creates... I've been here 5 years & I'm still need to finish doing that... I think it's the last 2% that is the hardest to finish off.

    How is Mr Deebi after his op? I'm sure nurse Deebi is giving him the best care & making sure he doesn't overdo things.

    Well done lass for trying to play less poker & replace it with something else... I spend too much time playing Mahjong or Minesweeper... I'm guessing poker has the same effect where you just get in the zone & the hours wizz by... the makers sure know how to make them so addictive.

    I really hope with restrictions lifting you will be able to visit your mil soon as it must have been hard not being able to see her... have you finished her card?

    Be gentle with yourself lass

    Hugs

    Paws

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  25. Ggrand
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    2 November 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, and everyone else..

    Hi my bbff..Just popping in to give you a huge hug 🤗 a bunch of Jonquils and a breakfast hamper...(bacon and eggs, fried tomato and a large cappuccino....

    I will be back to visit you tonight precious friend...

    Big love, with lots and lots of hugs and a ton of my care..💚🦋🦋🧸🤗..

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy

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  26. Ggrand
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    2 November 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful bbff👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Croix, Paws and everyone..🤗.

    How good is the feeling of when a house becomes your home....I’m glad it’s starting to feel that way for you and mr Deebi..

    Yes and no...with Mrs nsc...but it’s something that I can’t change...I think she has been hurt terribly by her sons by the way she talks about them...I wish that I could help her in some way...I told her if she needs me anytime to just ring me...Her eldest son left for Sydney today after 4 months living with her...Hopefully after a few days she will return to Mrs NSC....

    I am trying hard to bed at 10.30ish each night, I went through another few months of not wanting or able to go into my bed...and slept on the lounge through that time..The last 2 weeks I’m okay to go into bed..I don’t know what happens when I can’t face my bed 🤔..

    I love hamburgers, unfortunately the ones around here are not nice..but we do have a nice pie and bakery shop in the town I work in...I have a few favourites of pies..potato pie, curry, steak n onions, steak n mushrooms oh I can go on forever 😂😂..

    How are you managing your BP bbff...truth honey...How are you physically and mentally....

    I can spend hours playing home scapes like you and Paws...Does it really matter if we play so much..I mean it keeps our mind on the game we are playing and off the depressive thoughts n feelings we can have...

    How is Mr, Deebi going since his operation?...

    Please remember to look after and care for you, precious friend..,big hugs 🤗 with lots of special love and care.,💚🌹🕊🦄👼..

    I haven’t watched The Rookie before..maybe I’ll check it out..I wish I knew how to record a DVD from a tv show/movie...hmmmm..

    Love and hugs everyone...

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

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  27. demonblaster
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    5 November 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Dear friends and readers hi ☺

    I really appreciate your lovely support and time dear friends. Thank you 💗

    Croixy I've nearly finished a reply ☺. Girls I want to reply to you dears too. Hoping soonish 🤗🤗

    Walkings helping tho haven't with tiredness for about 2.&4 days., All good keen to return

    Back of thighs still s.times in short bursts causing grief. Looking into slowly. Not looking like anaemia.

    Rapt nearly v.good blood test results.
    Several areas improved. Sugars under half the last test when my eyes were really bad. Was averaging 15. That high puts us on insulin for the diabetes. Phew dodged a bullet.
    Told doc I'm going to get off the pills eventually & not be diabetic anymore.
    Nearly made it when I lost the 50 kg's. Still lost 24. A wonder.
    I'll get the rest off slowly. Back on track again.

    Here's the bomb!
    The last bout of mh a few wks ago I said I feel I'm getting closer to unlocking the key to getting on top of this. It's starting to come together.

    I swear mania's the greatest teacher of all time!
    I'm starting to hear rational thoughts/ways of coping and been able to apply it all I think moreso than ever!

    Still several hard moments but the more I practice the easier it'll be.
    For the first time EVER! to this degree I've been able to manage ALL the bombarding rot

    More control with mania excitement & slowing how much thought goes into the accelerated thinking. Later I'll let more in when I master the beasts downs that jump in.
    Handled Ptsd thoughts/ anxiety/deep depression/scenarios I dunno maybe part of anxiety or ?

    Last Mh was very hard the stress was peaking but got a lot done.

    This ones been the opposite. Low key calm with touches of high stress but able to choof it

    I'm starting to hear rational thought moreso in mania

    One parts not letting emotions take hold that I've known but not been able to apply too much till now.

    There was another thought that's helped no end. It'll come back if not between the next bout no doubt not far off or in next mania. I'm starting to learn how channell it more to what I want to achieve with control on what/how much I think on something.

    This mania was easier because it wasn't as mixed as usual. I've been slowly coming down with a short burst of high today. Gone now. Think too tired for it to take hold and with applying the breaks dammit! but it was good.

    There's some not good things happening too but ok cause its better knowing. Laters. 3am best to bed nigh nite 😴

    Thank you ⚘

    👩‍❤️‍👩🗯💜

    2 people found this helpful
  28. Ggrand
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    6 November 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Bbff...👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

    No rush Deebi to reply to my post...The most important thing you can do for me/us here at BB is to take good care of you..,rest when you need to...sleep when you need it...and talk here when ever you feel up to it...💚..

    PTSD is a hard one to manage and I think your doing a fantastic job of managing your mh....Well done my special bbff.....

    You should be so proud of you for loosing so much weight...I lost 9 kilos and Haagen put back on 2 kilos😁....My fault because I comfort eat when I’m down,,,,I wish I could comfort drink water instead...which will guarantee no weight gain...I wonder if it’s possible to do that...nah I’ll miss my food to much....

    Hoping today is a good day bbff...sending you my l💚ve, with lots of c💜re ang h👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩gs....

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy....

    1 person found this helpful
  29. Croix
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    8 November 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Dear DB (with a wave to Grandy)~

    There is no rush to compose a reply, you are here and that's what counts.

    I'm rather impressed in how you can see your mental health ups and downs so clearly and start to channel those ups to things you want to do, so much better than a directionless state.

    Then again I'm impressed at the weight loss, wish I could, but 2 diet drink meals a day is only enough to maintain the status quo and frankly to go further would take so much out of life and leave me miserable.

    I'm pleased about the blood results too.

    Croix

    1 person found this helpful
  30. demonblaster
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    9 November 2021 in reply to Croix

    Hi Croixy Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and all

    Times flying I think around 3 ish mths ago the poor love 😍 (heart eyes emoji) had gallstones.
    Very painful as your good lady knows causing Pancreatitis yikes another level of pain I've heard. Usually grog is the cause for Pancreatitis.

    His Gallbladder was rotten which they removed (Cholecystectomy) cyst = bladder- ectomy = removal). A large stone was caught in the bile duct which was this op.
    He recovered very well from & this too.
    He can get stones again.

    I had a lot of extra stress related to the first op which made a very hard BP & other mh probs.

    Everything slammed. The worry of not knowing exactly what it was.
    Organising & getting help in place was full on with the usual deep depression.

    Both our mobiles were misbehaving & at that time didnt have a LandLine phew have now. Easier, And several other hold ups trying to get things in place.
    Somehow though we get through eh. It helps I find knowing that no matter how hard at the time we do eventually look back on it. Comfort too in knowing we do get through, time helps no end.

    This time also in BP I was ok tho concerned naturally but I knew the score and knowing he's in good hands.
    Best place to be if there's complications.

    Thank you for asking and for your support today's warming as always.
    Many thanks good man and that you certainly are ☺

    I'll zip or swim actually over to your Iceberg sometime and talk about the very basic that's helped me with weight loss might help you too.

    Take care Mr Croixy man 🐧🌴 that's a little miniature Palm tree I planted on your iceberg.

    Dear Grandy you're next & thanks lovelies it is comforting knowing there's no rush to reply I'm starting to learn that for myself. Use to be pretty ocd on instant replies tho sometimes still try when they're doing the super hard yards.
    I know it's how bb runs here which is one of their awesomes.

    Catch yaz ☺

    I'm so pleased to be starting to follow through with started posts.

    And each day now I'm working at doing sections of that final 2% I think Pawsy said. So true! it's the hardest but there's a light at the end of the tunnel joy that each time a bits done it feels great. Boomer!

    👩‍❤️‍👩💜🦋🕊🌈🌞🔥



    1 person found this helpful

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