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Forums / Long term support over the journey / Surviving: Being in a better place

Topic: Surviving: Being in a better place

  1. demonblaster
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    1 January 2018 in reply to Ggrand
    You're a treasure Grandy thankyou xx

    I can forgive kind of but NEVER forget so forgive as in move on but ditto nah so that's the best I can do. When someones's hurt us it affects us so much it's hard to forget aye but if we can forgive in that we release ourselves of emotional attachment to it then that's good enough imo. You can ask anything at all G lady, anything.

    Yeah this chooky & I became good friends from BB (Big brother) forums. Funny I landed on BB here same initials.

    Yeah just starting to get happies again been a long one but pushed the envelope a bit too much but happy how I've handled it all and got through with yeah hard times but not the deepest of deeps I think it's down to mind set although occasionally thoughts but let them flow through, wanna get rid of them completely.
    Sleeping like you wouldn't believe but then doing hard walking too most of the time, did a couple of hr jobs two days running. WOESA you feel every bit of lol

    Yeah I often feel peoples pain too but don't take it on board as such but hate people hurting & it's mostly down to bloody people. Think about you girls a lot & try to come up with something to help. Care so much about you all. So glad we all met.

    lol yeah drag some of that stubborness through the net love it :)
    Yeah G brick by brick we can do this

    What a hun you are researching depression & BP, they kinda give an overall read but don't go into the deeper parts which is where you really do the hard yards, one day I might finish my book. Barely started. That'd involve sticking with something.
    You're always there for me when I need someone Grandy darling lady. I'm so grateful for you girls here.

    You're easy to love lady

    Thankyou for being you, we met for a reason, we're gunna get this


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  2. startingnew
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    1 January 2018 in reply to demonblaster

    hey DB, it seems my posts are coming up pretty slow, i wrote one yesterday and its only just coming up now so its a page back and a conversation behind which is a little frustrating at the moment.

    "I can forgive kind of but NEVER forget so forgive as in move on" this statement youve made is one i often think of myself. we are similar in this way. i will never forget what has happened to me BUT forgiveness of that is a huge achievement but it also gives ourselves that inner peace. you can forgive without forgetting xoxo

    sending soul hugs and positive vibes xoxoxo

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  3. Ggrand
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    1 January 2018 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi DB, SN and everyone else,

    Thank you for answering my Question, The reason I'll let you know later, I can't forget so I lied to him when I said I forgave him, because I can't forgive him.

    DB, I'm sorry but I'm keeping away from other thread for a while, I have been carefully reading Ghost posts, but was triggered with last one.. sorry hun my emotions are not letting up today. I knew her story from her other thread, I should have stayed away. Won't this pain ever go?

    Startingnew,....Hi I hope you are doing good with a little light coming through, will catch up with you when I can get me together again.

    Kind thoughts.

    Grandy.

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  4. Peppermintbach
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    2 January 2018 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi beautiful DB and all,

    You said:

    I feel here I have purpose...

    GG’s response:

    You have purpose here DB, you help so many people, you like people and enjoy their company, on and off the forums, your a blessing to a lot of people...

    Food for thought there? ;)

    Anyway, I think you have committed to the forums fairly consistently and with much heart and dedication for at least some months now (maybe longer, I’m not sure when you joined). Surely, that counts as “sticking at” something, right? Just my thoughts...

    Anyway, you sound a little lost or maybe feel as though you’re drifting. I know your late soulmate meant so much to you. Maybe in some ways, he was your reason and ally in an often difficult world.

    Of course you miss him (probably always will) and felt/feel more uncertain without him these days. Less sure of your place in the world maybe. I’m not saying that’s necessarily the case but just expressing my thoughts.

    As for the whole purpose and setting goals topic, I found it enlightening to read your comments. I suppose I’m the opposite to you in this respect. I’m always searching for a reason, for a goal, for a purpose...for something.

    Yesterday, I watched something where a public figure commented on how she has always looked to the future with goals and dreams to keep going because, for her, the here and now has often been so painful that she needs to look ahead/look forward in order to feel she can keep going. That really hit a nerve...I’m similar to her in this respect.

    Sorry, for my Little aside....I wanted to say hi and send my love and care more than anything.

    Soul hugs and much love ❤️

    Pepper xoxo
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  5. Peppermintbach
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    2 January 2018 in reply to Ggrand

    Hey DB,

    I just wrote something...I may have selected post and I may have selected cancel. I’m too tired to recall. Lol.

    anyway, I’ll check again later before I try re-writing it again.

    Soul hugs,

    Pepper xoxo

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  6. demonblaster
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    2 January 2018 in reply to startingnew
    Thanks for care & support SLD xx Yeah I reckon forgive is the wrong word but's used a lot. Why would we want to forgive when people have done wrong by us without giving a toss.
    Thanks being there with me soon re GC.

    Grandy that's ok it'd be hard being in that thread.

    Peps thanks again for great post, yeah I didn't question anything while we were together, I guess I lived for him, he was the reason, thought we were going to grow old together. IT was so outta the blue. 3rd heart attack same time the luekaemia came on.
    I'm over the worst, not looking forward to GC soon but has to be done to move through. Miss him so much, always thinking & still at times feel him close by.
    I want love again, most of us do. Will never stop loving him

    Yeah not unhappy but not particularly Giddy up either Peps, going back home soon then neurosurgeon soon after, don't think they're gunna muck around, whatever they're gunna do will be quik, it's serious.

    Oh Grandy soz meant to say the pain was before in the last few mths with neck, had it 3 times, ruptured disc in neck, compressed nerve, Holy Farout max pain the first 2 was calling out in pain all hrs then 3rd one didn't need as many heavies with pain relief xx

    Thanks so much good people xxx
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  7. Peppermintbach
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    3 January 2018 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi lovely DB and all,

    I am holding your hand and wishing you the very best with your upcoming hospital procedure/operation. Sending healing and caring thoughts your way.

    Your love’s passing must have really shaken you when it was so unexpected. Yes, you never forget or stop loving those you truly, deeply loved. The memory and feelings continue to live in your heart.

    Love,

    Pepper xoxo

  8. demonblaster
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    3 January 2018 in reply to Peppermintbach
    Thankyou darling friend you really are so supportive & never fail to be there for people, thanks so much.
    It touched me deeply you holding my hand there in GC, I won't forget that

    Feeling vulnerable & just thinking about being there again is hard. I"m hoping chooky that offered will be able to be there, want someone to hold my hand. I'm hardly ever sick & when we were we were there for eachother mine was back outs mainly

    I know this is serious but not stressing about it, thinking though. More concerned being there again, so many ghosts.

    Anyway thanks again Peps you're a real sweetheart

    Love xx
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  9. demonblaster
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    3 January 2018 in reply to demonblaster
    Damn it!
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  10. Peppermintbach
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    3 January 2018 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi DB and all,

    Yes, so many sad memories associated with that hospital. As you said, that’s probably the hardest part.

    Aw thank you, DB. Holding your hand all the way...I can’t physically be there with you but you have my full emotional support.

    Um, I take it that something happened, considering your latest post? Is everything okay?

    Soul hugs,

    Pepper xoxo

  11. demonblaster
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    3 January 2018 in reply to Peppermintbach
    Really appreciate that Peps, holding hand xx

    Yeah slacked off frustrated about something here. Love it here, don't agree with everything but know it's run VERY well & everything intended for right reasons
  12. Peppermintbach
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    3 January 2018 in reply to demonblaster

    Oh lovely DB,

    Soul hugs 🤗 to hopefully lift your spirit a little...

    Pepper xoxo

  13. demonblaster
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    3 January 2018 in reply to Peppermintbach
    You're really sweet Peps how are you doing these days
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  14. startingnew
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    3 January 2018

    hey DB

    sitting here, holding your other hand while you get through this

    sending loads of hugs as i know something else thats bothering you and probably running through your mind as well in regards to the other thread. ive only just logged back on after a few days and trying to catch up

    what your going through is serious and your more than allowed to be scared out of your mind but you dont have to do it alone. you have all of us here and your family offline as well as i know they love you jsut as much as we do here xoxox

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  15. demonblaster
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    3 January 2018 in reply to startingnew
    that's beautiful Starts thanks darlin, I've been thinking a lot about it not stressed or scared just gotta see what happens & yeah ya feel vulnerable we always use to do stuff together I looked after him there 7+ mths

    I'm ok not firing on all happies but ok..........thanks hun how are you doing? was thinking about you wondering.w
    Was lovely you coming in before and asking how I was going (other day xx)
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  16. startingnew
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    3 January 2018 in reply to demonblaster

    your still allowed to be nervous and things DB, dont deny yourself of that. your more than that but it doesnt mean you can be scared and brave at the same time.

    "the thing about being brave is it doesnt come with the absence of fear and hurt. bravery is the ability to look fear and hurt int he face and say 'move aside you are in the way' "

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  17. Peppermintbach
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    4 January 2018 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi DB, Wings and all;

    Thanks DB and you’re such a caring person to ask :)

    I suppose I have been doing a fair amount of thinking and reflecting. Feel as though I’m a paradoxical mix of being thoroughly lost and focused at the same time. Strange, I know. Lol. I haven’t quite managed to gather my thoughts yet...

    NYE was good. I love NYE as it’s typically one of my favourite days in the year.

    Thanks again for asking :)

    Soul hugs,

    Pepper xoxo

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  18. demonblaster
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    4 January 2018 in reply to startingnew
    Thanks Starts yeah not nervous about seeing surgeon but as long as it doesn't get worse between now & then it's more being vulnerable & going to the hosp where the ghosts are

    Not to say after I talk to them maybe stressed about what's gunna happen from there but yeah ok atm, there's others I could ask but don't want to just hoping the one that offered can the one I did ask can't but can kinda

    Back home tomoz, think gotta work harder on liking my own company, coming a long way but not there completely yet so yeah but usually happy if I have a bit of people contact most days which I usually do on walks.

    PEPS you darling girl, awful where you're at floating not knowing why, been there, it's quite disconcerting isn't it, you know you can open up anytime here xx
    You too Starts SLD xx
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  19. Ggrand
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    4 January 2018 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello DB, Peps, Starts

    .. ((soul hugs)).

    I'm holding your hand now..DB..

    Have a safe trip home tomorrow, I hope your time with family and friends is something you can look back on with joy in your heart...

    Care DB....No words are coming, tired mind..but if ok with you.....will just sit quietly with you and just look at the stars and wonder how amazing and never ending the universe really is.

    Kindness.

    Grandy..

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  20. Peppermintbach
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    4 January 2018 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi caring, loyal DB and all;

    You know, we are all so lucky to have you here as our friend. Thank you...

    I would like to second GG’s well wishes for a safe trip home tomorrow.

    I recall you saying that you’re an extrovert so it must be particularly difficult to go without company. Hopefully, you’ll find ways to make the most of your own company too.

    You’re so kind to offer such beautiful thoughts and care to me, and others, despite all that you’re going through. I’m very grateful.

    With you in spirit and sending loving thoughts.

    Pepper xoxo

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  21. Ggrand
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    4 January 2018 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi DB,

    Just a little heads up, Sad Monkey has left something in Boquet Of Pearls...there for us.. A few posts back..just thought you would like to know & thank...

    kindness ( L&C).)

    Graandy.

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  22. demonblaster
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    5 January 2018 in reply to Ggrand
    Thx Grandy I think of you quite often when I'm looking at the stars, not enough where I live but here sometimes there's a smattering which is gorgeous too
    Thx re Pearls thread, jeesh I would have missed that one,
    Big love lady, I'm seeing some fire come back in you in your thread, loven seeing that. Keep holding on hun xx

    Peps I'm so lucky to have you lovelies as friends too, really mean that, mentioned before it's quite hollow talking to yourself lol if it wasn't for RockStarwolf before then later Sez I would've been and now have you darlings too.
    Yeah extrovert has it's down sides too but just have to like myself more like some other beautiful people I know here too :) x

    Thx be home today, then not long for surgeon visit see what happens there. Time doesn't stop does it for anything. Amazes me that we're in a time warpy thingy
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  23. startingnew
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    5 January 2018

    safe travels home DB, will be sitting with you and keeping you company xoxo

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  24. Peppermintbach
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    5 January 2018 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi wonderful DB,

    Thank you...likewise, we are also very fortunate for your friendship.

    I am glad you’re embracing yourself and your wonderful traits :)

    Get home safely please...

    I will be thinking of you over the weekend.

    Catch up after the weekend ❤️

    Pepper xoxo

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  25. Ggrand
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    5 January 2018 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Dear DB,

    Have a safe trip home and an enjoyable one.

    I will have to lassoo some of my stars then bag them up and post to you..the stars out here are amazing..

    Yes DB, fires coming back, trying a new approach.. Let you know later, seems to be working for today but I have to keep working at it..

    Good Night sweet DB, sleep well, travel safe..

    (L&C). Always.

    GG.

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  26. startingnew
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    7 January 2018
    Just checking in DB hoping your ok xoxo
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  27. demonblaster
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    7 January 2018 in reply to startingnew
    Thx caring Starts xx
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  28. Just Sara
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    7 January 2018 in reply to demonblaster

    Long time no see lovely DB;

    Hope your world's rockin'! Apologies for being a Grinch and laying low during Xmas/New Year. It had to be that way I'm afraid. No reflection on you ok..

    I see you've been spreadin' the lurve sweet girl. What a legend!

    See you on the threads with bells on..

    Sez xo (tinkle, tinkle..)

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  29. Ggrand
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    7 January 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Hello DB,

    I'm just coming to visit you to say hello and let you know I'm thinking of you quite often.

    I hope your trip home was a pleasant one, and you have some fond memories of your holiday.

    I also hope you are in good health, mind, soul and body, (not to much pain in your neck,back). Hate that your in pain.

    Missing you lovely lady so much, No need to respond, just take care of you and be kind to you,

    kindness only,

    Grandy.

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  30. demonblaster
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    7 January 2018 in reply to startingnew

    Thx lovelies

    Bit quiet atm ☺ happens occasionally

    Good cya Sez (chooky) missed you but knew you needed space was reading before you went xx

    Starts you're a gem. You doin any better am reading am behind you xx

    Grandy no pain atm had v.bad while ago not sure what they're goin to do thx xx

    Peps friend taking me hosp soon glad bringing on lot of sads thought of going there. Not particularly happy lately dont know whats goin on but feeling pretty hows ya father

    Sleeping lot at least have been walking.

    Pfttt

    Thanks girls

    Rock missing you so much. Crying x😭💖🤗

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