Online forums

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please complete your profile

Complete your profile

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community.

Forum membership is open to anyone residing in Australia.

Join the online community Community rules Coping during the Coronavirus outbreak

Topic: This bipolar life

  1. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6820 posts
    21 November 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie
    Dear velvetfaerie, 

    We are sorry to hear that you are feeling as though people think you don't exist. That sounds really hard. We are glad that you have come to the forums and shared these feelings with us. We're sure others can relate to them. We hope posting here also helps you to feel a little more noticed. 

    Please know that you are always very welcome to contact our confidential support service on 1300 22 4636 to talk these feelings through. We have counsellors working 24/7. 

    Please continue to post as you see fit. You don't have to go through this alone. 
  2. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    21 November 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    My parents are stubborn though Quirky.

    Nothing wrong with keeping realistically healthy.

    I guess, sadly, I'm used to it. It does get hard though.

  3. Doolhof
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Doolhof avatar
    8853 posts
    22 November 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Hi velvetfaerie,

    Sorry to read you have been alone so much. I know it is not the same thing as human contact, but do you have any pets?

    It can be deflating when we reach out to help and assist others but they don't seem to be able to see our needs as well.

    I volunteer in a home for the elderly and really enjoy the company of the residents. Even though I have a husband at home, we live quite separate lives and feeling alone is something I recognise even when he is here.

    On a lighter note, someone mentioned picnics. I was out with a friend recently, we were going to have a picnic, but it rained, so we ate in the car at a park. That too was fun.

  4. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    22 November 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    I have a foster pooch. My corella flew over the rainbow bridge a couple of months ago which I'm still really sad about.

    My foster pooch is long term. He will probably stay. He has his own doggy psychiatrist now and medication. I learnt 3 days ago he was indeed mistreated. That's not what I was told by them but his behaviour told me. It was all one huge massive failure of communication from the rescue organisation. Very bad when it comes to welfare!!

    So his behaviourist and my psychiatrist are around the corner from each other ahhaha. I found that funny.

    I understand how the whole trauma and anxiety thing works. So I've been told I'm the perfect carer for this dude.

    I honestly can't understand how people can be so nasty to animals. :(

    Being alone is the pits. Feeling alone with someone is very hard too. I've been there too.

    Carpark snacks are a worthwhile thing!!!!

    1 person found this helpful
  5. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    14686 posts
    22 November 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie

    dools

    I too know how lonely it can feel when you are with someone. Car picnic sounds great.

    Velvet glad your dog is getting the care he needs and you would be a wonderful person for him.

    Still raining and cool here waves to everyone.

  6. asdff
    asdff avatar
    1052 posts
    22 November 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Velvet, I felt your pain in what you wrote. Feeling alone. Wanting/needing to care for your ageing parents. We are here to chat with you and listen.

    Me. It doesn’t take much for the pendulum to swing into depression. I had a sore foot yesterday’s I rested it no exercise. Little blip. Then something related to school for one of my children was brought up. I don’t want to go into it but it hurts and is triggering. I have talked about it with my husband and one friend via text. I hope to not be super down about it but judging on the past. I will down for a week or so.

  7. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    22 November 2021 in reply to asdff

    I am alone though. I don't see anyone for weeks on end unless it's at work or the gym. No interactions there are personal or on a friend level.

    Urgh nothing like one thing after another to kick you in the guts in life.

    And we have Christmas drama to look forward to URGH

  8. asdff
    asdff avatar
    1052 posts
    22 November 2021 in reply to asdff
    Airies in relation to your reunion and feeling like you are over sharing. I am fine with listening to trauma events. I have listened to a few war veterans telling me things. They go to my gym. For me personally, I am okay with listening, even when they create the visual of the events. I would not be okay be seeing the event. I.e. if it was shown on the news, the photos and video footage. I think in story format I can disassociate.
  9. asdff
    asdff avatar
    1052 posts
    22 November 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie
    Velvet, you have joined a few social groups through social media, that is great. What about Meet Up? Or is that the one you joined? Do you see people down the park when walking the doggo? Or is doggo not interacting with other pooches? Our local park is a thrive of activity around 5:30/6 with dog walkers.
  10. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    23 November 2021 in reply to asdff

    I have but they're for socially awkward people. Catch 22 isn't it? Hahah.

    I have to keep doggo on lead and muzzled at the moment and not to interact with other dogs of unknown vacc status. Things should change soon. These are the rules from the rescue people. Liability stuff.

    V

  11. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    23 November 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    I have been asking to be able to help at work more. To help where there are no staff. This has been going on for 2 years. They won't. I'm like but you're short staffed and I'm isolated, ostracised and covertly bullied in this method. I've noted this in 3 reviews yet nothing changes.

    I've also sited laws and policies that support my position. While work is on the inclusion and diversity bandwagon how about practising what you preach? Stop the virtue signalling and actually do!!

    They know I'll go legal. I've threatened before with grounds to do so and I'll do it again.

  12. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    23 November 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie
    Cited laws* hahah
  13. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    14686 posts
    23 November 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Velvet

    It is a pity that you have to go to legal means to get the sort of work environment you are entitled to.

  14. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    23 November 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    I called one of our equity officers today. I covered the absence of neurodivergence in the inclusion policies and staff education courses.

    I explained I am constantly ostracised, have my requests ignored and isolated.

    I keep asking to be able to help in areas low on staff more often. Like a half day or 3 a week. This helps the team and me. I get social, variety and the team get help.

    2 years and its been ignored.

    So I explained this in more detail to the equity officer. I why am I being excluded when others aren't? It's depressing and dismissive and devaluing.

    I explained my condition, how it affects me and how I'm wired. I can't tell my managers as they're all judgemental and I don't have the protection of work policy due to the entire group having been left out.

    Legally I'm disabled. In reality I'm differently abled. By the law I can request reasonable adjustment which I have been doing only to be ignored and isolated.

    She will talk to her manager and we are going to start the conversation.

    1 person found this helpful
  15. asdff
    asdff avatar
    1052 posts
    24 November 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Velvet, I’m glad you spoke to someone in your workplace. Fingers crossed they implement some changes for you. Did you see the school with Workplace Bullying? I’m not going to name. It’s just not good enough.

    Airies stay away from online shopping. I say that because I can’t help myself. It’s a dopamine hit.

    It doesn’t take much for me to be down again. One small hiccup relating to a child and I am down the well again. Quirky, Lisa how are you?

    1 person found this helpful
  16. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    24 November 2021 in reply to asdff

    I will have a look online for the school you mention asdff.

    Bullying is rife in workplaces, especially schools, tertiary etc. It's wrong. It's ego and self serving behaviour.

    I can't see my work place changing until the restructure. Even then it probably won't.

    1 person found this helpful
  17. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    14686 posts
    24 November 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie

    It is sad that organisations like BB work hard for inclusive workplaces yet the reality for some places like yours is isolation. I wish your managers could see what a wonderful asset you are the work place because of your different way of working.

    asdff, I wish i wouldnt get upset over nothing sometimes.

  18. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    24 November 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    I only have until early Feb until my awesome boss returns.

    In reality I only work adjacent one of the sociopaths for another 3 weeks. The other one I can avoid generally.

    I am hearing the loud corellas outside ehheheheheeh. They're great.

  19. Lisa611
    Lisa611 avatar
    229 posts
    24 November 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Hi All...sorry to hear about your work place V. Am glad you spoke to the equity officer.

    The hens night was fun. It made me realise that I'm conservative and that my party days are over. Everybody had a great time. It was nice to see my daughter have fun.

    We are getting a new principal. Hopefully they'll make positive changes to the school. I told the current principal that I have bipolar. Her reaction was very chilled. All she said is that I cope very well. She's leaving now so it's not a big deal that she knows. Nobody else at work knows though. Am going to Melbourne today with my daughter. She has a fitting for her wedding dress. Am looking forward to just spending alone time with her. Our new lounge arrives today which I'm also looking forward to. I find that if I have things to look forward to it keeps my lows at bay. Hope everyone is doing ok.

    1 person found this helpful
  20. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    14686 posts
    24 November 2021 in reply to Lisa611

    Lisa

    thanks for your up to date.

    I have never been to a hens night or been a bridesmaid , is that a sheltered life.?

    I am glad you have things to look forward to.

    I hope the new principal has supportive people skills as they are important skills in that role.

    Enjoy your trip to Melbourne.

    Velvet I am glad your kind boss is returning in Feb.

    Aries how are you ?

    Asdff I suppose end of year is a hectic for you with school age children, how do you cope?

  21. Airies
    Airies avatar
    1205 posts
    24 November 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Lisa, great to hear from you. Sounds like a lots happening. Hopefully the new principal is a breath of fresh air. As for the other not. Some people don’t know how to react when it comes to mental health and it takes courage to open up . To your credit you mask it well as we all do.

    Quirky I’m ok , just had some jabs in my ankle steroid which didn’t tickle.Been going nuts buying things on eBay and relearning how to tie fishing knots but my hands are so shaky these days.

    Velvet love the Corellas from a distance. They visit annually at the local shopping centre and chew on wires, tv aerials and the Maccas signs. When I can get back walking so looking forward to seeing red rumps, black cockatoos, even the magpies.

    Asdff hope you are ok ? It’s taking me a while to drop by here

  22. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    14686 posts
    24 November 2021 in reply to Airies

    I have never told someone I had bipolar in a work setting , but when I have told people friends, extended cousins, strangers after giving a talk I find reactions vary from them telling me about someone they know who had bipolar and about their behaviour, to people saying you dont look like you have it, to people saying I thought you would have outgrown it or a dear relative saying they chose not to be depressed.

    One person years ago sent me newspaper clippings about famous people who had bipolar, as this was many decades before the internet.

    Has any one else had interesting reactions when they have told people about their mental health or have you decided not to tell others.

  23. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    24 November 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Quirky, people are super ignorant I tell ya!!!

    I came here and stayed even though I have adhd and not BP.... so.... you guys were cool about everything!!.

    My parents were not surprised. My good close friends weren't either. Man thing wasn't either.

    I chose to tell 3 colleagues who are cool.

    I will tell my actual supervisor when she is back as she is super cool and she will be like AAAHHHH that explains a lot.

    She will ask questions and learn. Good people educate themselves so they can try and understand.

    Others judge and assume.

    1 person found this helpful
  24. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    24 November 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Thinking of everyone at the pointy end of the school year too !!!

    A break for some and chaos for others.

  25. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    25 November 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Oh that school asdff. Yeh well being well acquainted with toffy nosed bullies I am not surprised. And funny enough where I work did a survey too and my dept got slammed. That was 2 years ago. Nothing has changed. In fact it's worse.

    The culture has to change. The box ticking courses, seminars and policies are pointless and nothing but show.

    1 person found this helpful
  26. asdff
    asdff avatar
    1052 posts
    25 November 2021 in reply to Lisa611

    Lisa, I think you cope really well. Not a chance I could work with high school kids. Kindy kids probably. I love them at that age and find them fun and delightful. The big ones, nope too opinionated and judgemental.

    Velvet, I totally agree with you about non judgemental types. We do educate ourselves.

    Quirky, end of term. I have one finishing primary school this year. It will be sad. Bitter sweet as it’s my last one at Primary School. We have loved the Primary School the kids went to. It’s very inclusive and a fantastic community. I wrote the child last Primary School Permission Slip yesterday. At High School it’s all done online.

    How do I cope? With lots of down time. Watching comedies. When I have some energy I do housework. I do think the increase in meds is taking it’s effect. I haven’t had much energy.

    Airies, I know what you mean about the buying things. It’s like filling a void. If I buy this, it might make me happy. Item arrives. Ah no. Still not happy.

  27. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    14686 posts
    25 November 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Velvet I really like this sentence.

    Good people educate themselves so they can try and understand. I may put it on my fridge.

    Asdff I loved primary and fell apart in high school and uni.. I wonder if I stayed in a primary like supportive environment if would have coped better . Who knows..?

    velvet I am still thinking of seeing someone about adhd. I saw statistics Nd they were quite high for people with bipolar and vice versa.

  28. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    25 November 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    And bad people assume they know everything ;)

    Yes they can be coomorbid. If you flip out on traditional ADHD meds.... it's a give away. Lol. They make me chill, calm, less hyperactive and reactive. And boy howdy they have even helped sleep!!!

    The fun thing is pms with this condition. Oestrogen and Dopamine are bedfellows. This probably isn't helping me at the moment to be fair.

    Anyhow.... I'm coming the the realisation that if I'm made redundant it's going to be a blessing in disguise and I'm changing career all together.

  29. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    14686 posts
    25 November 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Velvet do you have a new career in mind..?
    It is good you have a plan b.

    I think it is great that your meds help you.

  30. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    25 November 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Well, my conversations with equity and input have been heard. I've been seen, heard, understood. Next year we start the good fight. Like everyone else with specific needs for flexibility, inclusion, etc, I too have every right. Something that has been very absent for my entire time there.

    I covered lots of stuff. But she absolutely agrees with me as does her boss.

    Given the only person they have contributing to their policy writing isn't formally diagnosed, I'm going to ask to help as well. It helps with my inclusion and variety of work.

    If after all this I get axed, I've been seriously considering a law degree. My old colleague said I'd be a good lawyer. She has many letters after her name and is a professor so her input is worth listening to.

    I'm off to the gym on my day off.

    Hope you all have a great day.

Stay in touch with us

Sign up below for regular emails filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones.


Sign me up