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Forums / Long term support over the journey / What happened doesn't have to define me

Topic: What happened doesn't have to define me

  1. Mia001
    Mia001 avatar
    514 posts
    23 June 2017

    Hi everyone!

    I'm new here. Not really sure what to do. Where do I start? Any suggestions?

    Mia

  2. Zeal
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Zeal avatar
    1737 posts
    23 June 2017 in reply to Mia001

    Hi Mia,

    Welcome to the forum!

    You've made a good start by posting in the Welcome and orientation thread (section) of the forum. You can introduce yourself here and tell us a bit about why you've decided to come to the forum. This is a non-judgemental community, on a national level! Many forum-goers choose to remain anonymous, and I also do this (despite being a volunteer on here). I share a fair bit about myself and my past, but I just don't mention my name or those of loved ones, and I also don't mention my location. In saying this, there are numerous people who include a small photo of themselves as their display picture, and who use their first name and mention the city they live in. It's up to you :)

    There are different sections (called threads) on this forum for different issues/topics. If you're struggling with anxiety or depression, you could post in the anxiety or depression thread. There's a section to talk about relationship/family issues, there is a section for young people (under 25's), and more! Exploring the forum is a good plan, as you can see what is posted by others and gain a sense of what this forum is like. To take a break from more emotionally-charged conversations, there is a section right underneath Welcome and orientation that's called BB Social Zone. This is for talking about fun aspects of life, such as hobbies, movies etc.

    I hope to hear back from you :)

    Best wishes,

    Zeal

    5 people found this helpful
  3. Guest_9809
    Guest_9809 avatar
    1676 posts
    23 June 2017 in reply to Mia001

    Hello Mia001, and a hearty welcome to you. It takes courage to post on the Forums, so something must have prompted you to do so.

    Most people when they first come here tell us a little bit about themselves. Keep in mind that the Forums are a secure and moderated place where you can feel safe to speak openly, knowing that you will remain anonymous.

    So why not start by telling us what brought you here? Do you experience depression or anxiety symptoms, have you been officially diagnosed with any MH issues, are you after some support, do you want general or specific information about mental health issues, are you wanting to support others with similar issues to yourself, are you supporting someone else with a mental health issue, do you want to connect with other like-minded people? These are all reasons why most people come here, and the Forums provide all of these things for its members.

    I will start the ball rolling by giving a very brief intro about me. I am a female in my mid-fifties, married, diagnosed with PTSD and OCD, I have a chronic pain issue from a long standing permanent injury, I am a step-mum to 2 grown up children and grandma to 6 grandkids. I am a carer for my husband who has diagnosed mental and physical issues including PTSD, Depression and Alcoholism. I came here initially to seek information about PTSD and to talk to others who are going through the same things I am. My psychologist suggested I come here to talk about things I do not talk about elsewhere, to give me the chance to open up a bit. I have no real support network outside of the Forums, so I find them highly beneficial with regards to ongoing support and guidance.

    So my suggestion to you is to tell us a bit about yourself firstly. And then take a look around some of the other threads in areas where you have an interest. Feel free to reply to any threads that interest you. I know you will get a warm welcome from other members here, who are warm kind and very supportive.

    I hope to hear back from you again soon. Once you establish what it is you are seeking and expect from the Forums, you will likely get many more responses.

    Again I welcome you, and its good to have you with us.

    Taurus

    3 people found this helpful
  4. Mia001
    Mia001 avatar
    514 posts
    23 June 2017 in reply to Zeal

    Hi Zeal,

    It's great to hear from you! So...a little bit about myself? I'm 17 and was homeschooled. I now have a job in fast food and have just finished an aged care course which will hopefully be a stepping stone in my career. My dream is to become a registered nurse in E.D. and then maybe a paramedic.

    6 months ago, one of my friends suggested that I see the counsellor at TAFE because I was stressed and due to harassment and problems at work. I didn't really feel that I had anyone to talk to. I'd never been to counselling before, but I found it helped. Even though sometimes I feel like I'm running round in circles! These last few weeks I was on work placement. I was also trying to support my classmate who was not coping with work placement, partly because she is grieving over the recent loss of her husband and daughter.

    But now I've finished my course, I'm not seeing the counsellor anymore, so I thought the forum might be a good way to get support and just talk about some of my problems. I find it helps to hear other people's stories, and to know that I'm not the only one. (and that my problems aren't quite as bad as I think!!) I would also like to be able to reach out and encourage others, and let them know that they're not alone and someone is there for them.

    Anyway, that's a brief version of my story. Which section do you think I should start in?

    Thanks, Mia (that's not my real name by the way)

    2 people found this helpful
  5. Mia001
    Mia001 avatar
    514 posts
    23 June 2017 in reply to Guest_9809

    Hi Taurus,

    Thanks for sharing your story with me! You'll probably see, but I posted an introduction in reply to Zeal, with a bit about myself and basically why I'm here. Would love some suggestions on which section of the forum to start in!

    Thanks, Mia

    1 person found this helpful
  6. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    5944 posts
    23 June 2017 in reply to Mia001
    Hi Mia001,

    Welcome to the forums. A great place to start is by reading the pinned threads at the top of this section.  Let us know if you have any more questions:

    Newbies guide: 5 tips for getting the most out of the forums


    Forums etiquette: give support to receive support

    Welcome! A post about how the forums are moderated 
    2 people found this helpful
  7. Mia001
    Mia001 avatar
    514 posts
    23 June 2017 in reply to Sophie_M

    Hi Sophie_M,

    I'll check out those links right away!

    Thanks for that! Mia

    1 person found this helpful
  8. beingbyrne
    beingbyrne avatar
    153 posts
    23 June 2017 in reply to Mia001

    A big welcome to you Mia,

    I really enjoyed reading your intro, you sound like a very intelligent and compassionate person. Good on you supporting your class mate, it shows that you are caring and very mature for your age.

    You can start in any section, it depends on the topic you'd like to talk about or you can just reply to other people's post if you wish. There are no expectation of you and no pressure at all, just post when you feel like it.

    Take care and big hug from beingbyrne

    1 person found this helpful
  9. Mia001
    Mia001 avatar
    514 posts
    23 June 2017 in reply to beingbyrne

    Thank you so much beingbyrne. That means a lot to me!

    Mia

  10. White Rose
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    White Rose avatar
    6325 posts
    24 June 2017 in reply to Mia001

    Hello Mia

    Thank you for telling us your story. You sound like a caring person with heaps of experiences in your life. So pleased you have come here to chat and spread the news that mental health issues do not mean a horrible life.

    You ask where to post. As someone else has said, it;s up to you. You may want to find your feet by replying to some of the threads already going. If you have something to say on a topic that is already being discussed you can join in. This way you get the benefit of all the replies and experiences of those who have already posted. Try not to start a new thread if there is one already being used. It means you may not get to many answers because people are already posting on the first thread.

    I hope to see you around the forums.

    Mary

    1 person found this helpful
  11. Mia001
    Mia001 avatar
    514 posts
    24 June 2017 in reply to White Rose

    Hi Mary,

    Thankyou. It's nice to hear from you! I've started with the BB Cafe and made some friends already. I'm also having fun in Follow That Word, although I think I mess it up a lot because my replies are really slow! I've been reading through some of the threads that interest me. There's a lot to learn!

    Mia

  12. Zeal
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Zeal avatar
    1737 posts
    25 June 2017 in reply to Mia001

    Hey Mia,

    I'm glad you are enjoying the forums already, and have started talking on BB Café! There's also the Friends Café (for people 25 and under) if you're interested. I'm on there as an oldie (24 years old) haha.

    At 17, you've already got valuable commitments and you have a great attitude (and plenty of compassion)! The aged care course sounds great, as that is certainly a growing sector. With the proportion of Australia's aged population growing and the increasing number of Dementia/Alzheimer's diagnoses, aged care support workers are in demand. Having a goal to work towards is positive - nursing in an ED and even a paramedic!

    I'm glad your first experience of counselling was positive. I'm actually studying Postgraduate Counselling and Psychotherapy at university. I'm doing the Graduate Diploma this year, and I'll do the Masters next year. I don't have paid work at the moment, though I'm looking. I volunteer for several organisations, which I enjoy.

    It's great that you can support your classmate. Losing both her husband and daughter is horrible, and I can't even imagine the grief and pain she is feeling :(

    I think starting to chat in the BB Café was good, and you could always post something specific in a forum thread. Maybe post in the Young People section next, if you'd like to start another thread.

    It's nice to have you here by the way :)

    Best wishes,

    Zeal

    1 person found this helpful
  13. Mia001
    Mia001 avatar
    514 posts
    25 June 2017 in reply to Zeal

    Hi Zeal,

    Hey, 24 really isn't that old! It's good to hear you're studying Counselling and Psychotherapy. I think that would be a great job. I hope you can find some work soon too.

    I'm really excited about working in Aged Care, but I just need to wait until I get my P's first so I have transport. I'm hoping to study the Diploma of Nursing PT next year and work PT in aged care facility as well. Working specifically in a Dementia Unit would definitely be something that interests me. I like a challenge!

    I'm thinking about starting a thread - just so long as nobody else has one going already! I might see you round in the Friends Cafe sometime. Mia

  14. Zeal
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Zeal avatar
    1737 posts
    25 June 2017 in reply to Mia001

    Hey,

    Thanks, I'm hopeful to find some form of paid work soonish! It's great that you're aiming for your P's. I have a fear of me driving, so I'm still on my L's, which I only got at the age of 22! So I think you're doing well, and it's ideal that you won't have not driving as an employment restriction. Working in a dementia unit would be challenging, but also rewarding. My Grandpa turned 83 today, and he's had Dementia for a few years. He went to a nursing home in January this year, as he needed more care than my Grandma could manage (she's also 83).

    At his birthday lunch today, it was sad to see how much he struggled. He lacks so much awareness, and he couldn't really participate in any conversation. He also commented that he didn't know people at the table - he definitely knows exactly who his wife is though (my Grandma) and his daughter (my Mum). He was falling asleep at the table too, before lunch even arrived. Over the last several weeks, we have noticed he is getting worse again unfortunately. He never complains and he only recently lost his sense of humour. Before his Dementia, he was such a capable man who always helped others. So now he deserves the utmost respect, regardless of how hard it gets. All people with Dementia deserve this of course, but it feels especially true when it's a beloved member of your family.

    My parents are going overseas for two months as of next week, so I'll make sure I visit Grandpa with my sister, and sometimes my Grandma will pick me up after she does shopping near where I live, so that we can visit him together. I haven't been seeing him much in the nursing home, but I will make sure I do more when Mum's away.

    I have just talked a lot! I suppose the lunch brought up a lot of thoughts!

    I hope your weekend has been nice :)

    Best wishes,

    Zeal

    1 person found this helpful
  15. Mia001
    Mia001 avatar
    514 posts
    26 June 2017 in reply to Zeal

    Hi Zeal,

    Thankyou! I did have a good weekend.

    It's nice to know I'm not the only one scared of driving. Nothing like a bit of motivation to get me going though! Do you what scares you the most about driving? Sometimes finding the cause is the key to finding the solution.

    I'm sorry to hear about your Grandpa. It can be sad watching a loved one living with dementia, especially when the disease progresses.

    All the best,

    Mia

  16. White Rose
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    White Rose avatar
    6325 posts
    26 June 2017 in reply to Mia001

    Hello Mia

    Good to see you still posting. There are a couple of threads about aged care on the forum which you may like to join in. I was just looking for them but without success. They are probably hiding in plain sight so I will search later and put them up here.

    Learning to drive is a huge effort. Once you have been driving for several years you will forget the effort it took to gain your licence. Pushing yourself too hard now may be stopping you . Go gently, that way you are in charge of driving lessons. I appreciate the difficulty of going out and using public transport, especially when there is little public transport around. If you feel comfortable when you take your driving test you will manage much more easily. Slow down, take your time and you will be driving comfortably with your P plates.

    I do some volunteer work in a day respite centre for older people. I am part of the pastoral care team and we have a ball. The people we talk to have a huge sense of humour, not afraid to give their views on life and love talking about the past.

    Mary

    1 person found this helpful
  17. Mia001
    Mia001 avatar
    514 posts
    26 June 2017 in reply to White Rose

    Hi Mary,

    Yeah, I guess you're right about the driving. I tend to expect too much of myself.

    Haven't seen any aged care threads either, but sometimes the names are a bit obscure!

    Good night,

    Mia

  18. White Rose
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    White Rose avatar
    6325 posts
    27 June 2017 in reply to Mia001

    Here are two threads you may like to read and possibly join in.

    This one is in Long Term Support. The thread is Nursing Home Resident Mental Health.

    This one is in the Suicidal Thoughts forum. This thread is Trapped in Supported Accommodation.

    Mary

    1 person found this helpful
  19. Yetty
    Yetty avatar
    1 posts
    27 June 2017

    Hello everyone, I am new to the forum, just wanted to say hello and thank you for letting me join.

    I am 48 years old and have been struggling with depression and anxiety since 2015.

    I am glad to know that there are others out there whose stories are shared and will give me some hope also.

    1 person found this helpful
  20. james1
    Multicultural Correspondent
    • Foundation members of our Multicultural Experiences section
    • China
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    james1 avatar
    2948 posts
    27 June 2017 in reply to Yetty

    Hey Yetty,

    It's wonderful to see you here on the forums.

    There are many people here who suffer from depression and anxiety, many of whom have done so for a number of years, so you are safe here.

    If you'd like to, we have dedicated boards for depression and anxiety which you may have seen already. Often, posters who have some specific questions tend to post their own new threads there which you're absolutely welcome to do as well.

    Great to have you on board!

    James

    1 person found this helpful
  21. Mia001
    Mia001 avatar
    514 posts
    27 June 2017 in reply to james1

    Hi Yetty,

    Just wanted to say hello and welcome! It's nice to have you here.

    Hey, and if you want to chat or chill out, there's always 'The BB cafe' in BB Social Zone!

    Mia

    1 person found this helpful
  22. Mia001
    Mia001 avatar
    514 posts
    4 July 2017 in reply to Mia001
    Is anyone awake yet? I could really do with some advice.
  23. White Rose
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    White Rose avatar
    6325 posts
    4 July 2017 in reply to Mia001

    Hello Mia

    Not sure what time you were posting. It's 7:45 am here. If you are still awake please write in.

    Mary

    1 person found this helpful
  24. Guest_9809
    Guest_9809 avatar
    1676 posts
    4 July 2017 in reply to Mia001

    Morning Mia, there arent many people around in the mornings usually.

    But I am here now. What is it that you need some advice about? Pehaps I can help.

    Taurus

    1 person found this helpful
  25. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    5944 posts
    4 July 2017 in reply to Mia001
    Hi Mia001, thanks for your post.  Our forums aren't set up for live responses to questions, with moderation some posts can take up to 12 hours to appear.  If you have a question for the community, it's best to just lay it out in a post and check back later for responses.  

    If you need some immediate advice, please call our support service on 1300 22 4636 as it's available 24 hours.  Live webchat with our counsellors is available between 3pm and midnight daily (AEST).  
    1 person found this helpful
  26. Mia001
    Mia001 avatar
    514 posts
    4 July 2017 in reply to Guest_9809

    Hi Taurus,

    It's just about my friend. I wanted to go out for afternoon tea or something, and she says yes but then she's really vague. I'm not really sure what to do. When we were at TAFE together, she was always saying that we'd have to keep in contact, but now she doesn't seem to want too. I mean she could be busy, or maybe she's got stuff going on. Maybe I'm just taking it wrong or I'm too sensitive or something. I don't know. It's just that I don't really have many close friends and I find it so hard to get together with people because of travel and work. I'm sorry if I sound like I'm just complaining.

    Mia

  27. Guest_128
    Guest_128 avatar
    2143 posts
    4 July 2017 in reply to Mia001

    Hey Mia,

    just checking on you as I haven't seen you around.

    what you been up to?

    Later

    1 person found this helpful
  28. Mia001
    Mia001 avatar
    514 posts
    4 July 2017 in reply to Guest_128

    Hi 9 Names Later,

    Feeling a bit down. I've been flat out with work calling me up pretty much every day. Woke up at 1am this morning, I'm coming down with a cold :( Really hoping I'm ok for work tomorrow.

    I spent most of the morning with a friend who's been struggling. That was kind of sad. He's made some progress though, which is good.

    Mia

  29. Mia001
    Mia001 avatar
    514 posts
    11 July 2017 in reply to Mia001

    I'm having some problems at the moment. I really need to talk to someone, but I don't know if I should. I feel really bad about dumping my problems on other people. I just don't find that anyone really understands, and don't think my friends should have to deal with me all the time. I know friends are supposed to help, and they keep saying they're here for me, but I can't explain why one minute I'm really happy and the next I'm so sad it hurts. I'm just worried that if I talk about it, I won't have any friends because they'll be tired of hearing about my problems and not seeing me really get anywhere. I just can't seem to move on, and I don't know why. I wish I could see the TAFE counsellor again. I'm on a waiting list for a local counselling service but they said it'll be about 6 wks. And it's kind of scary thinking about seeing someone different.

    I'm still having problems with harassment, mostly at work. There's a bunch of guys who are always trying to get my attention and it makes me really nervous. There's also this other guy who's kind of creepy, and I don't like the way he watches everyone. Sometimes I feel like I'm just paranoid. It's getting to the point that I don't want to go down the street. I always seem to be on edge and can't relax when I'm in public. The other day at work, I was so stressed out I couldn't think, just wanted to get out of there. My chest feeling tight, heart racing etc,. Even my managers and some of the regulars have noticed something is wrong, and try to cheer me up. I feel like I'm getting nowhere. I can't handle any of those little annoying comments that people make, I just fall to pieces. I'm finding it so hard at work, with those pesky customers. Today I had to get the manager to deal with someone because I just wanted to scream at her. Which is so not me! It kind of scares me actually. I never get angry at people. What is happening to me? I feel all over the place, but mostly I'm just sad all the time, and I don't know why.

    I can't believe I just wrote all of that. I'd better post it before I decide not to.

    Mia

  30. Guest_128
    Guest_128 avatar
    2143 posts
    11 July 2017 in reply to Mia001

    Hey Mia,

    I am really glad you got that down, and I am hearing you loud and clear. I have read bits and pieces about you,number 1 thing I can remember is that you have the sweetest heart. I admire you for the work you do as I would not be able to tolerate the people you need to. Please be kind to yourself,maybe you need a holiday or couple of days to yourself.

    I am not up on your medical stuff but you need to find a professional person ie gp,shrink to help you on a regular basis.

    Later

    1 person found this helpful

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