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Forums / Long term support over the journey / When buttons get pushed

Topic: When buttons get pushed

  1. Speak Your Truth
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    15 March 2018
    Can anyone help ? My buttons have been pushed to the point of bringing on severe anxiety. Does anyone think this is curable ? I am desperate to feel relaxed and at peace again and to be able to enjoy my life. I don’t know how to cope
  2. romantic_thi3f
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    romantic_thi3f avatar
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    15 March 2018 in reply to Speak Your Truth

    Hi Speak Your Truth,

    Thanks for your post.

    Person with severe anxiety here!

    Just from my own experiences (and that's the beauty of these forums), I don't think that we can ever cure anxiety. I personally don't think that we can 'cure' most diseases. But I do think we can manage them. I know for me personally I feel like I will always have these illnesses/conditions, but that doesn't mean they have to rule my life all the time. Sometimes they run my day and impact everything, where as other times they lurk in the background.

    How long have you had anxiety? What sort of tools and things have you used in the past?

  3. Speak Your Truth
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    15 March 2018 in reply to romantic_thi3f

    The 3 f’s - I wonder what they are 🤔

    I’ve had anxiety on and off (looking back I think more off than on happily) but this time it’s a fairly short period. I do know the regular techniques to use but when I am in a bad way like now, feel overwhelmed, my mind seem to go blank and I find it so hard to focus. It will pass I know but I don’t have support that I need so it’s extra hard. Even one caring hug every day would help but I can’t get that

    thanks for your reply Romantic.

  4. Sonno
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    17 March 2018 in reply to Speak Your Truth
    Meditation was the answer for me. That's not just sitting quietly in silence concentrating on your breathing. There are many forms of meditation. I find walking meditation really good. You can even do it in a crowd - everything around you becomes " background noise ". You are attuned to yourself yet fully alert. Takes practice but it's wonderful once you get it. Gives you peace, calm and confidence. Also I find exercise is vital. I run 4 days a week. Fitness makes you feel good and gives you confidence. It's hard to get started but once you get into a routine and build momentum you start looking forward to your next training session You are then on your way
    2 people found this helpful
  5. Speak Your Truth
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    17 March 2018 in reply to Sonno

    Walking would be good, thnx Sono, but for me it’s too hot to walk in the day, I’ll try going out early evening

  6. Speak Your Truth
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    20 March 2018
    Can someone please help me. I’m SOOOO anxious and stressed out, and known my buttons have been pushed for a while now but somehow this morning I woke with absolely clarity of the situation and I feel like I will explode. I need to get it out and I don’t know what to do. It’s so early in the morning and nobody is here to talk to.
  7. romantic_thi3f
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    21 March 2018 in reply to Speak Your Truth

    Hi Speak Your Truth,

    What are the 3 f's?

    So it sounds like you have had some tools in the past but finding that they're so much harder to use right now - is that right? Sometimes working on anxiety is like building up muscle; it really is a matter of practice. Even with things like breathing and mindfulness; it's one thing to tell yourself to breathe but it's another to be able to calm yourself down in the midst of a panic attack (or anytime anxiety is really high).

    You might also find this helpful - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety/treatments-for-anxiety

    You mentioned in your post that you don't have support; is this something you could consider getting? Perhaps seeing your GP/Psychologist or reaching out to other family/friends/colleagues? Being able to reach out to someone you trust is so important. You're always welcome to post here but we can't always guarantee a quick reply. If you want though - feel free to post and let us know what's going through your mind anyway. Sometimes just the process of typing and getting it out can be helpful.

    1 person found this helpful
  8. Speak Your Truth
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    21 March 2018 in reply to romantic_thi3f

    Thanks for your reply romantic. Yes, I know a lot of the tools to cope with anxiety but when the anxiety takes hold my memory seems to leave me and go both numb and panicky at the same time. It’s impossible for me to ring someone at 7 in the morning out of consideration for them, I just make myself tough it out. I have learnt to be independent when things go askew because so many people don’t know what to say, don’t want to know, are sceptical because they see me as an “attention seeker being overly dramatic” etc.

    My support is limited because I do not have any family, some of my best friends are a long way off, one of them not so far but she has her own problems that I am loathe to add to too much. I do have a GP of course and had a session with him today, but an appointment is not possible at short notice. It would be rare to get one inside a week. Anyway today I have made progress, receiving understanding from my GP, accepting the doubling of my low dose medication, choosing not to do certain things that add to the stress and being grateful for a couple of totally unexpected people coming into my life - one last week, one today - and where that may lead remains to be seen

    Of course I know I won’t get an unhappy reception here on this forum. Thank you for your support romantic. xo

  9. romantic_thi3f
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    23 March 2018 in reply to Speak Your Truth

    Hi Speak Your Truth,

    It's great that you're aware of some of the techniques that help people with anxiety. What have you used in the past? Is there anything that's worked well for you so far?

    I'm sorry to hear that you don't have a lot of support in your life; I imagine that must be difficult. Has your GP ever considered seeing a psychologist? Or is this something that you've thought of? Yes - while it's true it's sometimes impossible to get one at short notice sometimes learning/practicing things in session can help you be able to manage the time apart.

    Yes very true! What I meant though (sorry for miscommunication) was that when you said you needed to get it out and talked about how you were going to explode - you can do that here. Sometimes even when people don't reply straight away it can be helpful just to kind of explode on the forums. That way even at 7am in the morning there's still a release. As an example I'll often click on a thread and there's a really long message - sometimes even at 2am!

    Hope this helps,

    2 people found this helpful
  10. Speak Your Truth
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    31 March 2018 in reply to romantic_thi3f

    Hello romantic and thank you for your reply. I’ve been very slow with mine, sorry.

    I’ve been bouncing off the walls a bit but starting to settle now, I think, I hope. My GP has increased my meds and they are just starting the to kick in now I think, and I have been to a clinical psychologist twice who uses CBT but we haven’t got very far with that yet because my priority has been to talk about what’s weighing me down so much first.

    I have sounded off a bit on other posts, but it hasn’t always had the hoped for effect. I still having problems eating, knowing I need the nutrition but still it’s difficult and feeling weak from that too. I’m sleeping a huge lot or just lying around, knowing I need at least some movement, some form of exercise and not getting much. The climate here is a problem now. As I said somewhere before I’m just going round in circles.

    too tired for any more romantic, but thanks for your support, bye

  11. Speak Your Truth
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    1 April 2018 in reply to Speak Your Truth

    Why is it so ?

    I’m still having an awful time getting my anxiety under control, and I am so so tired. The reasons for it are still as I’ve said above. Yesterday I thought I was showing signs of the meds kicking in, but today that feeling is gone, very disappointing. I went out for a while today to a supermarket, had coffee and a little food and just from that came home exhausted by the effort, the noise, the people, kids crying etc.

    The circles keep on forming.

    Does anyone have an encouraging ‘recovery’ story - I need encouragement and to not feel so alone with my problems. I would love to hear good news.

    Does anyone else have the experience of feeling better and stronger giving someone else support on this forum, but not being able to do the same for themselves. I do and I can’t explain it.

    1 person found this helpful
  12. Birdy77
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    1 April 2018 in reply to Speak Your Truth

    Hey SYT 😊

    I've seen you round the forums.

    I'm sorry you're feeling so ancious and awful at the moment.

    I don't have a recovery story for you I'm afraid, but i want you to know you're not alone.

    There are lots of us who feel the way you do i reckon.

    Going out i find exhausting as well. Gosh, if i don't have to leave home i don't! I love being at home.

    Not sure what i am saying here, I'm pretty sure this will not be an edifying experience for you, but just wanted you to feel less alone xo

    1 person found this helpful
  13. Speak Your Truth
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    1 April 2018 in reply to Birdy77
    Thankyou Birdy, I appreciate that. It does help to read thoughts like yours. xo
  14. Birdy77
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    1 April 2018 in reply to Speak Your Truth

    Yeah it helps not to feel alone doesn't it?

    What are you up to tonight?

    It's like, 7pm, and I'm wanting to go to bed. I'm convincing myself I'm not 150 years old by saying to self: well, daylight savings just finished, so really... it's actually 8 o clock by my body clock.

    Wow. What a party animal..

  15. Speak Your Truth
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    1 April 2018 in reply to Birdy77
    Well this party animal has lasted till 9.45. Woo hoo !!! But this is early for me when I’m not so down. Sleep well Birdy 😴 💤
  16. Speak Your Truth
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    3 April 2018

    Is anyone there to talk with ?

    I feel awful today. I thought the meds increase was kicking in, but it’s seems to be one step forward, one step back. Or maybe one step forward, two steps back.

    I’ve done so much sleeping lately. I slept long last night and woke 10.30 this morning and I’m feeling uncomfortable in the gut, I think for the lack of any sort of exercise. There are things I could be doing at home and things I should be going out to do but I have no motivation at all. All I seem to be able to do is sit or lay around.

    Can anyone talk with me ?

  17. Birdy77
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    3 April 2018 in reply to Speak Your Truth

    Hey SYT,

    Sorry you're feeling awful today ... having zero motivation is the pits, I've had some of that myself lately, even the smallest tasks seem too hard sometimes.

    Is there something you can think of that you could do that would make you feel a bit better today?

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  18. Speak Your Truth
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    3 April 2018 in reply to Birdy77

    Hi birdy and thanks for your reply

    What I would love to have is a cuddle with someone I love who loves me - but that isn’t going to happen. To have a cuddle would be a gi-normous help. But I t’s what I want, not what I could do 😔

    It’s not unusual lately for me to take a while to wake up properly, but somehow I forgot about that this morning. I’m feeling a bit better now, so I’m going to make myself go out to do what I need to do.

    hugs 🤗 to you xx

  19. Birdy77
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    3 April 2018 in reply to Speak Your Truth

    Well i am very pleased you are feeling a bit better now 😊 sorry there's no chance for a cuddle, i know sometimes that's just exactly what will help ...

    I hope getting out and about helps you to feel even better as you go through your day.

    Hugs back to you SYT, enjoy your chores etc 🤗

    🌻birdy

    1 person found this helpful
  20. monkey_magic
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    3 April 2018 in reply to Speak Your Truth

    Hi Speak your truth,

    Exactly cuddles are everything some times. That human energy can set us free. Do u have any friends you can cuddle or you might have to seek this. Lots of people in the world needing cuddles. I trialled meds but are off them now. Just not my thing and I gave them a go to make sure. I believe severe anxiety can be tamed and cured. I jump in swimming pools and swam for hours, even with no motivation i just do it & find it can normalize you, deep breathing, music, driving, walking work for me as well.

    Perhaps you need a good vent?

    2 people found this helpful
  21. Speak Your Truth
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    3 April 2018 in reply to monkey_magic

    Thanks monkey magic, yes I could use a good vent. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh !!!!

    I have women friends who are good for a 10 second hug (quite a long time straight woman to straight woman) but I want the sort of cuddle that has emotional intimacy and comfort - like might be possible with some mothers (NEVER was possible with mine) or with a special man (if I had one - NEVER was possible with my father either, which is no doubt why I’ve always needed them so much). I do know a man who probably would be a great cuddle, but sadly NO - it would be sooo not right. As for seeking a cuddle ... that is sure to be fraught with problems in this world we live in.

    So again ... Aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh !!!!

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  22. CMF
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    4 April 2018 in reply to Speak Your Truth

    Hi SYT,

    i know what you mean about the cuddles. They do make a difference. Emotional intimacy and comfort, yes that would be nice. When I have anxiety I want to know I am loved and cared for.

    take care

    cmf x

    1 person found this helpful
  23. White Rose
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    7 April 2018 in reply to Speak Your Truth

    Dear SYT

    I briefly introduced myself in one of Quirky's threads. Now I've found your thread I would like to join the conversation if that's OK with you.

    My primary diagnosis is depression but this also brings anxiety with it. Do you read much? There is a great little book called Living with IT by Bev Aisbett. IT is anxiety and this is a survivor's guide. Light reading but includes the hard bits. To read it straight through will take about half an hour. I find talking about anxiety in a humorous way at times can keep IT away. Not that I'm suggesting the topic is humorous but following your lead above.

    You asked what the 3F are. Flight, Fight, Freeze. The names are pretty self explanatory. When we have panic attacks we often freeze, don't know what to do (even though we have some resources), and seem to be caught in a web that will not let us go. As a coping mechanism it can be good, stops us running away, flight, because we need to stay and manage the panic. Sometimes though flight is the right thing to do. I find our bodies in general know what to do. We need to listen to what we are being told.

    Cuddles are great. My children and grandchildren always give me a hug when we meet. Even my sons-in-law on occasions. But of course these people are not always available when we need them. So what can we do? I believe it is time for us to 'cuddle' ourselves in some way. My first thought is having a pet. Perhaps a cat or dog. They are usually up for a cuddle. And they will stay with you until you feel better which is not always the case with human cuddles. If you cannot have a four-legged pet then what about a bowl of goldfish? Not a cuddly pet but in the past I have found it calming to watch them swim around.

    Do something nice for yourself. A long, hot bath with your favourite bath salts etc. Listen to some music that you find enjoyable. I listen to some soft and calming music and I know I feel better when I start to play ABBA.

    Prepare a lovely meal for yourself. Pamper yourself by making something delicious to eat, setting the table and have a glass of wine (if you drink wine).

    When we are in need of someone but no one is available these are the sort of actions we need. Take responsibility to redirect our mood to something happier and give yourself a pat on the back for taking charge.

    If you really need to speak to someone, try the BB helpline 1300 22 4636 available 24/7.

    Mary

    2 people found this helpful
  24. Birdy77
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    13 April 2018 in reply to Speak Your Truth

    Hey SYT

    Just wondering how you are.

    😊

    🌻birdy

  25. Speak Your Truth
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    14 April 2018 in reply to Birdy77
    Thanks for asking Birdy. It’s being such a difficult time. I am so miserable. Everything seems to be piling up on me even more
  26. Birdy77
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    14 April 2018 in reply to Speak Your Truth

    Dear SYT,

    I am so sorry to hear that ... can I give you a biiiiiiiig hug and you can cry if you like and I'd hold you tight and make you a cuppa and just listen.

    Would it help to talk about stuff? You can here if you would like.

    🌻birdy

    1 person found this helpful
  27. Speak Your Truth
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    14 April 2018 in reply to Birdy77

    Is anyone there who can reply to this ?

    I feel so bad today, so anxious and stressed out. When you feel so bad that you feel like you’ll fall apart and break down completely, how bad do you have to REALLY be before you actually do. I’m alone and doing the breathing, listening to calm music but it’s only helping a little bit. I want to cry but I can’t - I’ve got knots in my stomach, feel sick, can’t eat, head going round

  28. Birdy77
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    14 April 2018 in reply to Speak Your Truth

    Hi again SYT,

    Does calling the BB helpline appeal to you, just to talk to someone voice to voice? If not, there is the online chat option which opens in about 15 minutes (3pm ... I assume that's eastern aus time, don't know where you are).

    Or do you just want to talk here? I'm around if you feel like chatting, but I don't know how quickly the replies come through).

    What's been going on this week SYT for you? Only if you feel like saying ...

    🌻birdy

    1 person found this helpful
  29. Speak Your Truth
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    15 April 2018
    Is there anyone online who can talk with me now ?
  30. Speak Your Truth
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    15 April 2018 in reply to Speak Your Truth
    I know. My last post was silly. I needed to say more. I’ve been depressed and anxious for a couple of months now and finding it so hard to get off this roundabout. I do the breathing and distract myself in different ways - music, tv etc. It’s hot outside today and I don’t feel like going outside in the garden or for a walk, and I don’t feel motivated to get in the car and drive anywhere. So I’m here feeling isolated and unhappy and anxious and lost with it all. I’m exhausting myself being anxious and worried and have so little energy. I know people to call but don’t want to load them up with my problems any more than I already do. I’ve lost SO MUCH confidence in myself and finding it hard to find places to go where I can meet people in an atmosphere where I feel supported and not have to put on a mask. If I just stay home and only go out to buy food or do other things I really have to do this will probably never change. Can someone please help me to with ideas how to break this feeling of being on a roundabout I can’t get off

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