Your experiene has been pretty similar to mine.
I was born here and was one of 3 asian people (I'm chinese) in 100 kids at kindergarten. I don't remember much, but apparently I was so shy that they put me in ESL to learn English because I never spoke, despite me being completely fluent. I've always felt like an outsider in both cultures, and this probably had a lot to do with it.
Over 25 years, I also never sought professional help and never told anyone about how I struggled. Last year I started seeing a psychologist for the first time and while there's been a lot of changes already, I know there's a lot more I need to work on in terms of figuring out who I am culturally.
It sounds like you did develop a lot of good self-care strategies which is wonderful! From someone who knows how hard it is, just wanted to send you a quick congratulations on doing so much on self-development!