Thank you so much for opening up and sharing. I too am an expat and have been struggling with similar guilt for the past 6 years. I have missed a grandfather's funeral but managed to pay respects when I returned home for a visit. I have also managed to attend a grandmother's funeral.
My guilt is mainly related to having left my single mother back home. She is the strongest woman I know, raising 3 kids herself. I console myself with the thought that she has my older brother at home with her. However, He will one day move out and get married. I fear her loneliness.
I always fear the day my mother, whom I am very very close with becomes dependant. I tell myself and my partner that when that day comes, I might return home to help take care of her. At the back of my mind I feel bad and selfish for waiting till it's "too late" and that perhaps I should move back home and cherish more time to be with her. I currently have a business, career, partner and my sister living here with me.
Am I selfish for leaving my mother?
Previously, I coped with lots of prayer and meditation. However, an incident with a close friend who became suicidal woke me up to the seriousness of mental health. That led me to BB.
As I read this thread, I feel less lonely with these feelings. Thank you everyone for sharing. It means alot to me to know that people have walked the same journey and understand. The recurring question "have I made the right choice" resonates so much with me. As time keeps moving forward and my life in Aus grows, I occassionally find myself asking "what did I get myself into?". This question usually tells me that I am homesick and a visit back home is due. Every year, I choose to go home and after 2 weeks of spending time with family and friends, I always look forward to coming back to Aus, to loved ones, to my personal space, to my second home. The feeling of homesickness is gone. But it does come back... and so does the question "what did I get myself into?"
Writing this I can see how blessed we are to have 2 homes.
Thank you so much for the input everyone on how to show support in other ways. That is so helpful.
Mil, I wish you all the best. After a day of talking to a friend who goes for therapy about mental health, and reading threads in this forum, it has brightened me up so much. Keep talking to trustworthy loved ones and others who understand.
I pray for everyone who is experiencing guilt to find peace.