Hello nevergiveup245 and welcome to the forums!
Thank you for sharing your experience and for seeking support from peer members.
There are a few things you mentioned worth dissecting:
Ethnicity and culture
Anxiety and fear of possible future rejection
Approval of family/others
Lack of available formal and informal supports
Creating your own path as an individual and living an authentic life.
I am Greek and queer, and by reading your thread I felt I can relate to all of the above.
As I was too petrified to ‘come out’, I got married to someone of the opposite sex and for 15 years lived in a ‘situational heterosexuality’ scenario. My daughter was 9 when I met someone of the same sex and fell in love. Divorced. Had 8 years in a same-sex relationship with them.
I’m still not ‘out’ to my mother or any relatives apart from my brother and my father. I come from a strict religious family and my dad was a priest all of his life.
I also didn’t have any LGBTIQ friends and as all this happened 30 years ago, society wasn’t as acceptant as today.
What helped me immensely during those years was contacting the Victorian AIDS Council and having counseling.
I also commenced attending groups such as Gay And Married, Greek And Gay, and doing some short support groups and courses like Momentum and Relationships as well as Anxiety support.
I also received support and free counseling from the sexual health nurses at Swanson Street Sexual Health Clinic.
Through the years I got in touch with Gay-friendly churches (as I was still a believer then) and reconciled my sexuality with my spirituality.
The AIDS Council website would be a great support if you choose to find out what resources, publications and courses/groups and other services they provide for your specific cultural background. This will be beneficial for you but also you can receive help for your family if you would like to. Not to mention the social benefits of attending groups like Asian and Queer etc.
This may be a very good start (if you haven’t contacted them already).
Also, I found Drummond Street Relationship Services very beneficial and low cost provision of counseling by bicultural professionals.
Beyondblue has private chat services to talk to a Counsellor and you can also talk to Lifeline or the Gay and Lesbian Switchboard.
Hope you receive all the support you need and please keep chatting here as well.