i was very happy when i came to austraila as electrician in 2008. but all dreams vanished in 2010 once i injured at work (head injury) and became epliptic for life. their is no positive way in my life. even after many try to start positively but my health conduction is going down. i was just 31 year when i was injured. now am 39 and i am done with it. i just want to finish it anyway but just seeing my kids laugh i forget my pain and i am just extending my life. today no friends or relatives with me and am all alone, back home in my country my parents and friends think i live a good life here and i dont want to know anybody whats going on with me. i never want to tell my problems about my health conduction to anyone but it already been known to my wife and few to my GP and psychiatrist. i dont like to tell all my problems about my personal or financial hard ship going through. before they know everything about me some how i have to end it. sorry if anything posted wrongly.

Hello Shyam,

My name is Shelley.......You sound so sad there and I am sorry for the pain you are feeling. You have been brave posting on Beyond Blue. So may I say a kind welcome to you?

When I wanted to end it all myself, it was really the pain that I was feeling that I wanted to end. Not life itself. I am wondering if you may be the same?

I am glad you have some children. I am not sure how old they are. But you are their dad, please don't take that away from them. And it sounds like you really love them. Yes laughter from children is special and can touch our hearts.

It must be hard to have parents so far away. What country are you from?

Shaym there is a number you can call if you would like to talk someone it might be a good idea for you. Or you can post back here. The number is 1300 224636.

From Shell

Hello Shyam,

My name is Shelley.... You are super brave to post on Beyond Blue. And a kind welcome to you too. I have written another post to you , but it has not posted as yet. That happens sometimes.... I am checking to see if you are okay there, as I am concerned about you.

Shell

Hi Shyam,

I am so glad you posted, and welcome to you. I am so sorry to hear about the difficulties you are facing but you have taken a great, first positive step by talking here.
I think that it is important to look at things from a different side sometimes even if it looks like there is no good side. Most of the time we can't see that there is something worth making us stay and fight on because there is no one to help us find out how we may do that.

You sound like a wonderful father who cherishes time with his children, you are young, 39 years old, so I am guessing your children are young too. Your children and your wife need you and you need to let them be your biggest supporters and have your back all the time.
I had this type of experience with my dad for 20 years during his illness, I lost him not that long ago and I would give anything to have him back, I would have stayed on supporting him no matter for how long because every child loves their father who has been there all their life and raised them with love.

Shyam, you are in Australia and that means that there is always help and treatments here, many treatments that can be excellent. Please look into this and think about how you can turn a negative situation into a positive one.
It helps to talk about it with close friends and family, don't feel that it is not good to do so because they can be your biggest supporters and offer ways to help.
Take time to do things with your wife and children that make you happy, such as visit nice places and spend time in nature and just talking.
I know that your situation may not be easy, but if you were overseas back at home and this happened it may be worse because for sure the medical side may not be like here and talking about it would be harder because of how our people view these things culturally. I can say this because i am from overseas too and I know the stigma.
Being in Australia helps a lot and it is so much better for a person no matter the situation because the support here is certainly different, compassionate and better. Please use it for yourself and your wife and kids so that when you are feeling better soon you can look back on this and realise that you did take the right path by staying on to do your best.

Haifa