I'm an international student in Australia. I came here alone when I was 17 and don't know anyone here. At first, I chat and regularly video call with my friends back in my country, however after a few months, group chat died down and there are no new messages.
I'm the eldest in my family, and growing up, I wasn't able to rely on my family much as my siblings rely on me. I need to keep up this facade of a strong sister and set example for them.
I went to a psychologist and she told me to try and join clubs. So I tried joining club, I made friends. But it's like we go club gathering once a week, talk, and outside gathering, me and other club members are like semi-strangers.
Since coming to Australia, 2 years now, I've spent every single day eating my lunch alone. Doing homework (minus forced group projects) alone.
and when loneliness hits the peak, I search and start playing online games and making online friends which help me a lot. But a part of me still feels empty and sad.
I decided to try consult my best friend, what she said translates to 'Your depression is not real', and she probably meant that I do not have clinical depression.
I don't know anymore what to do. My accommodation is walking distance to campus and a grocery store. These past months, I've just been to 3 places, bedroom, grocery and campus. I haven't went to shopping center, or go do anything else. All I do is play online game with my friends.
I can't sleep at night, cos I'm afraid tomorrow will come and I'll eat alone again. In the morning I often don't want to wake up and deal with life.
The only conversation I had these past few weeks are with cashiers as I've been skipping club gatherings. I just received an email telling me I did not have enough attendance for a unit and automatically failed it.
I'm not sure what else I could try and do to cope with this loneliness. Online game and daydreaming is the only thing for me right now.