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Forums / PTSD & Trauma / A good day, a difficult day

Topic: A good day, a difficult day

7 posts, 0 answered
  1. Lady_Stardust
    Lady_Stardust avatar
    126 posts
    1 November 2018

    Hey everyone,

    So today, I finally revealed my childhood assault to both my parents. It has been about thirteen or fourteen years since it happened, so it has been a long time keeping it locked up. It is time to take that next step into therapy, and although I do so with trepidation, I want to. It is time I felt fully free from it all.

    I just wanted to share the milestone with you all.

    4 people found this helpful
  2. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
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    geoff avatar
    11100 posts
    2 November 2018 in reply to Lady_Stardust

    Hello Lady_Stardust, can I welcome you to the forums, and I'm so sorry that no one has replied as yet, as you would have hoped that you had someone speak to you.

    It's an awfully long time for something like an assault to keep to yourself because of all the negatives thoughts that may have been circling around you, even though you pretended that everything was OK, but it has affected your life and maybe in the result in keeping them hidden away as well.

    You are brave in doing this and I applaud you, now you will need help and guidance to show that someone doing this to you is illegal.

    The weight of holding this secret was just getting heavier for you and you couldn't run from it anymore.

    Are you able to write down on a piece of paper of what did happen, one document for your therapist and then another one for your parents, I only say this because there maybe things you don't or can't say to your parents, the best part is you are telling them.

    Lady_Stardust please take your time, because it may require a change in your life, but we are here for you and always will be along this journey.

    Best wishes.

    Geoff.

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Lady_Stardust
    Lady_Stardust avatar
    126 posts
    2 November 2018 in reply to geoff

    Hi Geoff,

    Thank you so much for your kind reply. It has certainly affected me, and I think more so than I could handle on my own. Although I have mostly come to terms with it not being my fault and something I couldn’t control, I still have a lot to work through and I know I can’t do that by myself.

    A lot of the time I can keep it from my mind, but sometimes I will hear or read or perhaps watch something in a movie that reminds me and I get this terrible sense of panic and it all comes back. I know that is definitely something I need to get help with. I didn’t 100% go into detail of what happened when I discussed it with my parents, I was panicking and I could only divulge the basics. I’m guessing that that may happen in therapy too, at least for a while.

    Writing it down for my therapist would be a good idea, and I’m thinking that it’s something to do.

    Again, thank you so much, your support is so appreciated.

    1 person found this helpful
  4. Zonnekp
    Zonnekp avatar
    7 posts
    2 November 2018 in reply to Lady_Stardust

    Hi Stardust,

    You have taken the very important first step towards healing. That in itself is already a huge accomplishment.

    Good luck with the rest of your journey and hope to hear from you again.

    ZonnekP

    1 person found this helpful
  5. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    11100 posts
    4 November 2018 in reply to Lady_Stardust

    Hi LS, thanks for getting back to us.

    I can't blame you for telling your parents the basics, but I feel that when you're in therapy/counselling the situation is different because the person keeps all details only between you and them everything is private.

    I also tend to believe that by keeping the details private are why you are reacting to certain parts of a movie, what someone else has been through, which remind you of previous situations, whereas if you can tell your therapist and discuss these issues, then you hopefully won't react so badly.

    The longer you keep these terrible situations to yourself the longer you will suffer, I don't want you to, I want you to start to feel better, to regain your strength and be able to overcome these memories.

    To be better and feel good is something to aim for.

    Take care.

    Best wishes.

    Geoff.

    1 person found this helpful
  6. Lady_Stardust
    Lady_Stardust avatar
    126 posts
    8 November 2018

    Hi, Zonnekp,

    Thanks so much for your kind reply and well-wishes; it is a big step and although it is scary and I briefly hit a roadblock with my referred psychologist being booked up, I've found someone else and will have my first meeting with them next week.

    Hi again, geoff,

    I think so, too. And I would assume that it's going to take some time for me to get comfortable with the psychologist and be able to open up to them and get into it more. That could be it, the lack of talking about it and examining and dealing with it could be causing my reactions - I'll have to discuss that with the doc!

    Thank you, I'm really going to try and I do my best to be optimistic. (:

  7. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    3735 posts
    8 November 2018 in reply to Lady_Stardust

    Lady_stardust

    Great to see you back on line.

    That is so brave to reveal about the assault.

    I just wanted to welcome you back and encourage you on your journey.

    Quirky

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