I have PTSD and depression and anxiety I been married now for 20yrs, my husband has alway tried his best to support me.
sometimes I don’t know how he does it because I push him away, I’m the same I go through weeks of just being so Angry and frustrated and fight getting through the day.
I have no idea how my husband has been strong enough to support me for so long because he tells me he loves me all the time but when you hate yourself it’s the hardest thing to believe that he does.Even though I do know depth down he’s stuck around this long.
18mths ago while seeking help I was advised to be honest with my husband and kids now that they are teenagers and really stop hiding my pain and talk it out with them.
See I always hide what was really going on in my head my true thoughts, so we sat down as a family and talked, this helped answer a lot of questions with my kids and hubby, he never understood why sometimes I just sat in front of tv for hours or slept all day, or just lost it in a fit of anger.
The kids to said it helped explain why I just couldn’t do stuff with them or be able to have there friends over.
So as a family we decided on a plan the kids wanted to know if I woke up and it was not a good day, that’s all I had to say and then they knew it wasn’t them. I never wanted my kids to grow up thinking I didn’t love them I would do anything for my kids.
Hubby and I to decided to talk more he might not of liked things I had to tell him but there was things he needed to know like everyday I wake up and I don’t want to be here so then I struggle all day just to do the basics, and that I don’t know what it feels like to be happy, this was hard for him to hear but on the other side it’s something he can’t fix, I just need to be left alone sometimes or to be held and to be told he loves me.
You sound like you are a beautiful supportive husband and I just want to say hang in there. Enjoy the small things
Even though I know I’m being unreasonable I try hard but can’t control it, so maybe when she does feel a bit better might be able to talk and make plans to help you both.
sorry to hear you and your partner are going Through this pain