Hello Indy0
I cannot even begin to imagine how you are feeling and I hope that you did get some sleep or at least some rest last night. I am so very proud of you for reaching out here and to get some support and some care for yourself.
What you experienced yesterday is not the usual and so it will take some time and some work to be able to make peace with what happened yesterday. There were so many things that happened really and when you break them all down it does seem like a lot to manage, I hope you can consider putting a call into one of the support lines that Sophie_M has given to get some conversation, an avenue to let it out but mostly some support.
You did a very brave and courageous thing Indy0 and it is amazing how our bodies and minds just go into action when there is a situation in front of us. What you were apart of yesterday is nothing short of a miracle and I am sorry that you did have to go through that but I am so grateful that you did, you helped save a life and this is nothing short of a blessing and her family will be so beyond grateful to you and the people who shared this event yesterday.
You have done what you could for your neighbour and now it is time to take care of you. Please be kind to yourself, do some things you love, chat with those you love and let them take care of you too.
I am not sure about you but I have strong connections with smell and the memories that they trigger, both good and bad, so I am wondering if you can burn some candles, have something cooking in the oven, try to create some nice things to smell around you so as you are not stuck with the "memory" of that smell. It will take some time but if you can work through trying to replace the smells of yesterday with new ones today, think about hope for your neighbour, think about love for you and some nice things.
You are so very strong and brave Indy0 and I hope you continue to chat and to let us know how you are going.
Hugs to you
Sarah