I'm feeling weird, on edge, confused, I'm not sure. Iv been feeling pretty depressed lately in general but today I found my neighbour post suicide attempt.

Her apartment is next to mine, i didnt know her super well, just the usual neighbour interactions. She was pretty chatty so i did get to know her a bit.

Today my apartment buzzer went off, it was friends of my neighbour who were worried about her. I buzzed them in so they could enter the apartment block and chatted to them in the hall. The man grabbed my neighbours door handle and it opened where we saw her on the ground. First thought was she was dead, but then the woman got closer and saw she was still breathing. Adrenaline kicked in, I called an ambulance. The smell.. was like nothing I'd smelt before. Shed left a note and lots of food down for her cat.

The paramedics came and did their thing and took her to intensive care, they said her vitals were low and wasnt sure if shed make it.

I'm not sure how to feel, I'm laying here awake at midnight thinking about it.

Having depression myself and in the past suicidal thoughts, today was confronting.

Welcome to the forums Indy0,

We are so grateful that you have reached out here tonight, however we are so sorry to hear about the circumstances which have brought you here. It sounds like this must have been such an overwhelming and confronting experience, and we are so sorry that it continues to be present in your thoughts tonight. Please know that you've come to a safe space and our wonderful community is here to offer as much support, advice and conversation as you need. We are also currently getting in touch with you through email to check in with you and offer you some extra support tonight. It sounds like you're in a really tough space at the moment and we think that it might help to talk through what you're feeling at the moment. You are always welcome to contact the Beyond Blue Support Service, available anytime on 1300 22 4636 or get in touch with us on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport One of the friendly counsellors can offer you some support but also provide you with advice and referrals to help you through this.

In addition to this, there lovely counsellors at Lifeline and Suicide Call Back Service are always available to talk to during such difficult moments- both via the phone and online. 

• Lifeline - 13 11 14 (online chat available 7pm-12am) 
• Suicide Call Back Service - 1300 659 467 (online chat available 24/7)

We hope that you can find some comfort in the forums. Feel free to keep us updated here on your thread to let us know how you're going, whenever you feel up to it.
   
 

oh dear. That sounds absolutely difficult and my heart is with you. It can take time to process a triggering and traumatic experience. Also not everyone will understand. But I hope that here a few will. I'm sorry you've experience suicidal feelings also, and hope that you are feeling okay tonight. I don't want to patronise at all as this sounds like such a hard time, but if I may suggest, if you have any types of self-care that make you feel cosy and warm, it'd be a great time to up them - eg, hot drink, hot waterbottle, watching a show you like, reading something interesting, stretches, writing, drawing. xx

Hello Indy0, it can be an undoubting feeling when you have communicated with your next door neighbour, knowing they have tried to take their life, it puts you in an ominous position, especially when you're feeling depressed yourself.

Sometimes when this does happen, we're able to put our own feelings on hold in how we feel, only to a certain extent, because we worry about them, this can put enormous responsibility on you.

Ask her if she feels comfortable swapping door keys, this may make the connection stronger, but it doesn't stop you from seeking help yourself and ask your doctor about 'the mental health plan, this allows you 10 Medicare paid sessions per year to see a psychologist.

Please take care.

Geoff.

A warm welcome to you Indy0

Wow, this is intensely confronting stuff for you to be facing. By the way, amazing management on your part, given such an overwhelming situation.

I imagine there are a million and one questions which are now beginning to run through your head. Making sense of them will be a challenge. Facing the challenge one step at a time is something that I hope will make a constructive difference in your search for answers.

Maybe the questions will be a bit all over the place to begin with. 'What the heck happened to my nervous system when the adrenaline kicked in and why does my nervous system ramp up every time I relive that moment?' might be mixed in with deeper thoughts such as those that come with finding the meaning of life. This event, I imagine, will trigger a pretty mind blowing thought process.

We're here for you as you go through this confronting process. Everyone here I see has offered you great support. Drop back in any time you feel the need to vent and/or make sense of things.

:)

Hi IndyO,

I can't begin to imagine what you are feeling. No doubt your thoughts, emotions and feelings are all over the place.

Hopefully you were able to get some rest during the night. No doubt you had many confusing thoughts and visions in your mind to deal with.

I'd like to encourage you to talk to the services Sophie_M has mentioned, to family and friends and anyone who will listen. Trying to make sense of what happened might be something that comes to you later on, not right now.

This may be a little obscure, but do you know if someone is going to be looking after the cat?

Hope you can reach out for the help, comfort and assistance you need right now . When something like this happens it can help us see our own mental health issues in a different light.

Kind regards to you from Dools

Hello Indy0

I cannot even begin to imagine how you are feeling and I hope that you did get some sleep or at least some rest last night. I am so very proud of you for reaching out here and to get some support and some care for yourself.

What you experienced yesterday is not the usual and so it will take some time and some work to be able to make peace with what happened yesterday. There were so many things that happened really and when you break them all down it does seem like a lot to manage, I hope you can consider putting a call into one of the support lines that Sophie_M has given to get some conversation, an avenue to let it out but mostly some support.

You did a very brave and courageous thing Indy0 and it is amazing how our bodies and minds just go into action when there is a situation in front of us. What you were apart of yesterday is nothing short of a miracle and I am sorry that you did have to go through that but I am so grateful that you did, you helped save a life and this is nothing short of a blessing and her family will be so beyond grateful to you and the people who shared this event yesterday.

You have done what you could for your neighbour and now it is time to take care of you. Please be kind to yourself, do some things you love, chat with those you love and let them take care of you too.

I am not sure about you but I have strong connections with smell and the memories that they trigger, both good and bad, so I am wondering if you can burn some candles, have something cooking in the oven, try to create some nice things to smell around you so as you are not stuck with the "memory" of that smell. It will take some time but if you can work through trying to replace the smells of yesterday with new ones today, think about hope for your neighbour, think about love for you and some nice things.

You are so very strong and brave Indy0 and I hope you continue to chat and to let us know how you are going.

Hugs to you

Sarah