Welcome to the forums, we are so thankful that you decided to reach out and share your journey here. We are so sorry to hear about what you have been through with your former partner. We think you are such a strong person to have been through so much and have such a positive and proactive perspective on moving forward in your life. Please know that you've come to a safe, non-judgemental space and our community is here to support you through this difficult time.
We can hear that this is a really tough time for you and you're wanting to heal emotionally. We would strongly urge that you contact 1800RESPECT. They offer confidential information, counselling and support 24/7 for people impacted by sexual assault, domestic or family violence and abuse. The lovely supportive counsellors have a lot of experience offering advice to support to women who have been through trauma like this. You can contact them on 1800 737 732 or https://www.1800respect.org.au/
If you feel up to it, we'd also encourage you to reach out to our Beyond Blue Support Service, which is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.
We hope that you can find some comfort in the forums and please feel free to keep us updated here on your thread throughout your journey.