Things today went well with the psych. We had the usual chat about how things were going since our last session, any issues with meds etc. Then he asked if there was something else I wanted to discuss.
And I told him. I was still uncomfortable due to the anxiety in regards to - males, am I safe? will he think I’m overreacting? will it (abuse) happen again? (I have this bizarre fear if I talk about it with a male, the same thing will happen again).
The psych was appreciative that I told him & said he was glad I felt comfortable enough to tell him. I had also explained my fears about sharing this with a male doctor. He was incredibly supportive & I felt so much better telling someone. It also helped him to understand the things behind my trauma so it was definitely beneficial to share it with him.
It also helped him understand why I have issues with specific family members, why I can’t confront them, why I’m afraid to confront them etc
He even said that we would need another first just me & him, but we could discuss bringing in this family member & even if I wasn’t ready to go into the trauma side, we would decide what info he could/couldn’t share with them. He was happy to even have them attend just to explain to them about the anxiety & depression.
i felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders. And I feel like I’ve turned a corner in regards to my trust in this male medical professional ie I think I DO feel safe with him.
Anyway, am feeling a bit like an emotional wreck tonight, but not just in a bad way. I’m glad I shared, but talking about it does have an emotional toll as well unfortunately.
oh, we even discussed who in my medical team he should include when he sends a review. So that is also one less stress as well.
Thanks for all your support here, it really helped me to consider aspects I may not have thought have. I’m glad I shared with him & im happy with the outcome.