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Forums / PTSD & Trauma / How to move on

Topic: How to move on

  1. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8400 posts
    3 June 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi All,

    Anyone have any idea how you get from having a list of things to do to actually doing something on that list?

    Yesterday I pulled out folders of information, techniques and strategies to use to help me move on. I read and read but still have trouble putting that stuff in action!

    How do you get out of the rut and put techniques in place that are supposed to help you?

    My today's list of things to do might be to scan some of the information I have and write down a few ideas I can try this week.

    First, I will go for a walk or else I will still be sitting here for hours!

    Cheers all from Dools

    2 people found this helpful
  2. Tess2
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    435 posts
    3 June 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    Dear Doolhof,

    that is exactly my problem. How to start? I am just lying here feeling sick of myself. I have a headache but can’t even be bothered taking anything

    i want to feel like me again, but I just can’t move from this anxiety and feeling so low

    tess

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8400 posts
    4 June 2021 in reply to Tess2

    Hi Tess,

    Sorry to read you are struggling so much and I am sorry I didn't get back to you yesterday. Not doing so good myself. So tired of my depression ruining so much of my life.

    I try. I try to accept it. I try to fight it. I try to encourage myself to do stuff. I fall in a heap again. I don't know what the answers are.

    I could write out a 10 page list of things that will help, but how the heck do you get from the list to putting those things in action?

    Like you wrote Tess, how do you start?

    I hope you were able to do something for your headache and you have managed to get rid of it.

    Today I feel like going to bed for the whole day, running away or worse. Not sure what option I am going with yet!

    Just wish I could get my mind out of this depressed and stuck state.

    2 people found this helpful
  4. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8400 posts
    4 June 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    If I don't know what I am looking for anymore in life, how can I find it?

    How do you discover a new sense of purpose and meaning when you lost that decades ago?

    How do I change my depressed thoughts into something more positive when my mind seems to have lost all perspective of what a positive thought is let alone how to engage with one for longer than a second?

    How do I get unstuck when the mind is exhausted and has no idea how to proceed?

    1 person found this helpful
  5. Coach Craig
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    4 June 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi there thanks for reaching out on our forum.

    Sorry to hear that you are struggling, it is indeed to keep yourself motivated to do things when you are feeling low in mood.

    Speak with the GP they are an amazing resource to assist you to find the right resource.

    I also understand that reading is a hard thing to do when you are feeling low, have you thought of downloading an audible book, such as The Happiness Trap, I have seen it help so many people with the same or similar struggles that you are experiencing.

    Continue to be your amazing self..

    Coach Craig

  6. Aaronsis
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    4 June 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    Hey Dools

    I just wanted to jump in and reach out to you to remind you of a time a little while ago when you wrote some very similar feelings. I also want to remind you of the woman that is inside you that has fought this before and can do it again. I wanted to remind you of the weekends at the beach that you had that brought you so much joy. I think nature is a great way of helping us to find peace and happiness and I know you agree with this too.

    Even if nothing else you can do on your list, spending some time outside, in the garden or if you can make it to some water, be it a lake or the beach in which you love, see if you can get that far. You will thank you for it.

    Thinking of you Dools and also just wanting to remind you of the warrior that lay within you, she may just need a poke to be reminded it is her time to wake.

    Hugs

    Sarah

    1 person found this helpful
  7. jtjt_4862
    jtjt_4862 avatar
    109 posts
    4 June 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi Doolhof,

    I would like to chime in to your discussion as well after reading the posts in this thread. Your struggles are very hard, and I could feel your desperation of wanting to get out of the state that you're currently in, and as you keep trying and trying, things only feels like it's going backwards. I'm really sorry that you're feeling this way at the moment...

    The traumas that are brought from rude customers.... that's terrible... Customer service is already a really tough job, and it really sucks how people can treat staff members rudely just because they feel like they're entitled to it. What does it take for these entitled people to show a bit of kindness and respect, and help make the world a better place for everyone.

    Your post on the 20th of May, regarding your last psychologist suggesting you to buy new curtains, a comfortable chair to sit, and new pictures for walls. Did you give that suggestion a go? I'm curious to know what did you think if you did make that change. While it might sound silly, I thought it sounds like an interesting suggestion by your psychologist. It helps bring change to the 'usual' environment that you're in, and your mind will have this sense of 'unfamiliarity' as you try to adjust yourself to the new sets of interior design.

    If I may recommend 'The Art of not Trying by Lao Tzu', it is a very interesting read. There is an audio book version of it, as well as a video on YouTube about it. Don't be mislead by the title, the philosophy behind it is actually quite fascinating, and I feel it may be of assistance to you in figuring out a few things.

    Please take care of yourself Doolhof, I'm always open to listen to your thoughts and any other things that you'd like to share.

    Jt

    1 person found this helpful
  8. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8400 posts
    4 June 2021 in reply to Coach Craig

    Hi Coach Craig,

    Thanks for your ideas and advice, I appreciate you dropping by.

    Regarding Drs, I had a really helpful and supportive Dr a few years ago who unfortunately is not practising anymore. Since then I have been shuffled from one Dr to another. It is hard to receive continuity of care. One Dr told me as I had not presented myself to the hospital for care, there was nothing he could do to help me.

    I have a copy of The Happiness Trap and multiple other self help books in the bookshelf that I have read. Maybe downloading the book might be helpful. I still need to work out how to move from stuck to motivated.

    I know there are lots of tools I can use to help myself, I really hope I can activate myself to put these into practise.

    Maybe I need to accept there are some moments where I am depressed and I need to sit with that for a while before I try to move on. I am so tired of being depressed, it is exhausting.

    Thanks again for your suggestions.

    Regards from Doolhof

    1 person found this helpful
  9. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8400 posts
    4 June 2021 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hi Sarah,

    Thanks for your encouraging and caring words. Yer, that warrior inside has gone into hibernation and does need a hearty push to wake up again! Thanks for that imagery.

    I did go for a long walk today and did see water...when the rain came pouring down unexpectedly. I tried to take shelter under a very sparse bush!

    I really wish I was able to implement stuff that I know helps. Well actually I did do that today when I went for a walk. Some days are just tough and I want a break from my mental health stuff now and then!

    Cheers to you Sarah from Dools

    2 people found this helpful
  10. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8400 posts
    4 June 2021 in reply to jtjt_4862

    Hi Jt,

    Thanks for your comments and suggestions. I am certainly open to ideas, strategies and learning what has helped and assisted other people. I do know that many things have helped me in the past, just struggling to put them into action some days.

    Regarding the psychologists suggestion about new items for the house, yes I can certainly see the advantage in doing such a thing and I like your perspective on that as well.

    My issue with her suggestion is the fact I had been asking for help with dealing with deep unresolved grief, panic attacks, disconnection and other issues. At the time I couldn't see how new curtains and paintings would help me resolve those issues.

    I did look in some second hand places for curtains and paintings I might be able to afford, so yes I did consider her suggestion. I changed some things around that I already had at home. I did try. It did not lift my spirits very much.

    Maybe I need to work through my issues myself. I had hoped the psychologist could have offered suggestions on how to change my thinking, how to accept my grief especially, and how to work out how to accept who I am, how to move on when I feel so stuck.

    Thanks for the suggestion of looking at "The Art of Not Trying". It may be very beneficial as I keep feeling like I need to fix myself as I feel like I am broken! I also know I am hard on myself at times.

    I thank you too for your insight, comments, suggestions and ideas. Regards from Doolhof

    1 person found this helpful
  11. Ggrand
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    4 June 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    Hello Lovely Dools...

    Your post on the 4th of June...oh that’s today...I can relate to so much of it..

    There are days, sometimes weeks at times...that positive thoughts are hidden that deeply inside me that I Juno matter how hard I try, I cannot find them...What I found helps me..

    Focus on the positives.
    Its so easy to list all the things that went wrong today...but instead of focusing on the negatives, focus on the positives. Some positives for a day...could be very simple things..that we don’t see them as positives....A nice conversation with a patient or co - worker.....That beautiful smile someone gave you while saying good morning to you...The sun shining through the glass doors or windows at work or home..What about those birds that sing to you from high in the tree tops.....Maybe once you start to list all the positive aspects of your day....hopefully it will help your day feel somewhat positive...

    Just wondering if the area you work in each day has some calming effects at all....I know a lovely bunch of fresh flowers brightens up most peoples day..or a few little bowls filled with those bright smooth round stones..idk just something that you can look at, smell or touch to help take away some negativity from rude people...I know how horrible it is when people are rude to you...but please remember that it’s not you....it’s them..

    I listen to audio books a lot...at night when I get into bed..I YouTube search..folk and fairy tales to fall asleep to...I think it’s okay to listen or read self help books..on occasions, but reading too many might confuse the mind as one book might contradict the other and then confusion sets in...

    Please precious lady...take the very best care of you, that you can...you are one awesome lady, and we love you..

    My love, care and hugs dear Dools..

    Grandy..

    3 people found this helpful
  12. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8400 posts
    5 June 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Dear Grandy,

    Hi to you and to all reading. I do have a journal I write daily positives in and record what I am thankful for. I can see from your example that I can expand upon it immensely, so thanks for that.

    Regarding work, the other staff all have something personal of theirs in the work space. I have thought of taking something in myself, it will have to be small as there is not much space left!

    Yesterday morning I was really struggling. I tried to accept it. Tried to move on. Tried to do something other than yell and scream. I packed a thermos, some lunch and water. Left my husband a note and took off in the car.

    About 20 kilometres away is a wildlife sanctuary in a very arid region. I drove in, parked the car and walked for an hour. It was so dry and barren, sparse trees and a few bushes. I did see a mob of kangaroos and hear a few birds.

    I sat down on a fallen tree trunk and called Lifeline and BeyondBlue support people and cried a lot. It helped release a lot of thoughts and emotions.

    The sky came in black out of no where and a heavy downpour happened. I scurried under a low bush for some protection. As it has been warm and sunny I did not have a rain jacket with me! I was soon soaked. Thankfully the sun came out again as I walked back to my car.

    Yes, reading self help books and listening to them can be very helpful, like you mentioned Grandy they can become confusing as well when one suggestion seems to contradict another. I suppose that is when I consider what is most beneficial for me at this time.

    I've received many wonderful suggestions here, I greatly appreciate the kind words, the encouragement and suggestions. I will find ways to implement some of these things.

    Cheers to you Grandy and thanks so much for your love, care and hugs, from Dools

    1 person found this helpful
  13. Ggrand
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    5 June 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    Hello Lovely Dools..

    Your story about getting wet in a down pour reminded me of a short bid I had seen a while back...

    It was raining heavy and everyone was standing under the cover at a shopping centre waiting for the rain to stop...There was a little girl waiting as well and she asked her mum to “Let’s run through the rain”...her mother kept answering very sweetly that it’s okay we will wait...after several more “Let’s run through the rain” requests the mother relented and agreed...

    They left the cover and started running through the rain..the little girl giggling and holding her arms up high, with so much delight on her face, her mother could only join in the little girls fun and enthusiasm....The other people watching began smiling and giggling at the little girls infectious laughter....Then one by one they also started running through the rain...and began laughing as well....The last one to leave the safety of the cover was an elderly lady...well once she started running through the rain....she stopped and started doing a dancing in it....Then the others joined in....To me they all embraced their inner child and had a great time....all because a little girl wanted to run through the rain...

    Don’t know why I’m telling you this story...Just thought I would...maybe if we all can at times connect to our inner child...there will be lots of positives and happiness in our lives...I think as we get older and life’s problems effects us more and more we forget how easy it is to find our inner child....

    I love running through the rain...and often do so....it’s refreshing and it’s God washing the earth, so why not get washed as well, with the purest water there is....

    I hope you found some wonderful positives when you were sitting on that fallen log...I am so pleased to hear that you did reach out to Beyond Blue and Lifeline..You’re such a huge inspiration on these forums dear precious lady....

    Lets embrace our inner child...We are never to old to do so...and it’s a place that we should visit at least once a day..

    Much love Dear Dools..with my care and hugs..if I could reach through the screen I would definitely give you all you need...

    Grandy..

    2 people found this helpful
  14. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
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    5 June 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Thanks Grandy for your kind thoughts once again and also for sharing the story about running and dancing in the rain. Maybe next time I might do a little dancing in the rain! I do like to walk in the rain, knowing I can go home and change out of cold wet clothes helps!

    I sometimes think I would like a kite, so might try to make one or buy one. We sometimes have very windy days here. I don't recall seeing a kite for many years.

    Work went okay today. One man was yelling at me, he was so angry about something I had no control over. I am pleased to say that I feel I managed his reaction fairly well! He actually apologised after...he is the first person to do that. Most just yell and think that is okay.

    I really needed that time in the park to release a lot of tears I had been holding on to. My mind feels a little clearer now. Time in nature and quietness is important to me. It helped.

    Thanks again for all your love and care Grandy. Cheers from Dools

  15. jtjt_4862
    jtjt_4862 avatar
    109 posts
    5 June 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi Doolhof,
    Gosh kite flying. I still remember flying my first kite when I was a kid. It was oddly satisfying to see something so thin and light to be able to woosh up into the air, and just float with the clouds. With each tug of the string, you send it flying higher and higher. I also remember thinking if my kite goes any higher, would it hit a UFO or something. Anyways, such a random childhood memory of mine to share in the thread. I hope you'll enjoy kite flying if you do pick it up.

    I'm really glad to hear today went well for you Doolhof. You were splendid in handling the person's reaction, and you're right, we have no control over other people's emotions. If we put on the empathy hat, some customers might just be having a rough day themselves, which caused them to be rude to staff members. There isn't much we can do about things that we have no control of. (I guess that's why the taxi drivers in Thailand just doesn't react at all when I tried chatting with them in English, they can't control my language setting to speak Thai).

    Jt
  16. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8400 posts
    5 June 2021 in reply to jtjt_4862

    Hi Jt,

    Thanks for sharing your story and thoughts about your kite flying days when you were a child. I remember having a lot of fun with a kite when I was younger.

    I am sure I made my own kite as well. It didn't fly all that well. My parents bought me a kite for Christmas one year. I think I enjoyed the thought of the freedom the kite had being so high up in the sky, dancing in the breeze.

    That guy at work today was really angry! Covid has been around for over a year. People must know the rules by now unless they have been hiding under a rock or something. I was most impressed that I was not scared of him nor did I have a panic attack! Way to go!

    I actually went into work telling myself I was going to cope with what ever happened. That is a huge improvement from wondering what is going to go wrong before I even step in the door.

    I have been abused by people on the doorstep to work as well as they seem to believe I should be assisting them 15 minutes before I actually start work. I arrive early to get myself set up so I am ready at my appointed start time and don't hold people up with preparations.

    I guess some people just expect more than is reasonable.

    Hope your day has been okay Jt. Would you like to share something you are grateful for today?

    Cheers from Doolhof.

    p.s. I'm going to a have a look at "the Art of Not Trying" now. Cheers

  17. jtjt_4862
    jtjt_4862 avatar
    109 posts
    5 June 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi Doolhof,

    My day has been splendid today, thank you for asking. I was able to do my run in the afternoon instead of evening, thanks to Jane the weather reporter on television last night; reporting about rain coming into my area around the evening. I'm very grateful to Jane for informing me about today's weather, so I can switch up my schedule to be able to complete my run.

    And if I may say, way to go Doolhof! I'm really happy for you. You're strong for being able to cope with it, and I like how you've used the word "going" instead of "trying". I hope the "Art of Not Trying" will enlighten you more with it's philosophy. I'm always here to listen to you Doolhof.

    Jt

  18. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
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    6 June 2021 in reply to jtjt_4862

    Hi Jt,

    How for do you like to run, does it vary and do you have favourite places to run? I enjoy walking. Sometimes a friend and I go for a couple of hours. I prefer to walk along a beach or coastline, or along a nature trail somewhere. Thankfully I have access to both, only the beach is some distance away.

    I did read some of the information relating to "The Art of Not Trying". It is interesting to look at issues from a different perspective, so thanks for that resource and information.

    The use of different words is interesting. You mentioned I used Going instead of Trying. Sometimes I don't see the significance of words. It can be enlightening when people point this out to me.

    It sounds like Jane the weather presenter was able to predict when the rain would be arriving to your advantage. In my region, we are often told to expect rain, only it doesn't happen usually. The clouds roll over, look promising and then they move on.

    Hope you have another splendid day! If that is not the case, then I hope you have skills to assist you with coping through what ever eventuates.

    I'm off for a walk, will attend Church and then head in to work...with a smile on my face!

    Cheers from Dools

  19. jtjt_4862
    jtjt_4862 avatar
    109 posts
    6 June 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi Doolhof,

    I'm currently aiming for a 5KM marathon, so slowly building up the distance (started from 1.6km, and now I can do 2.4km. Hope to get to 5km by the end of July). I love running around my neighbourhood, it's a quiet neighbourhood, and the foot path makes running more pleasant. Walking along the beach/coastline and nature trail is very soothing, might take a weekend to the beach for that.

    And yeap, the words "going" and "trying" that you've used. When the word "trying" is used, you've set an expectation to the action that you're about to take, and when that expectation is not met, it will only lead to frustration and disappointment. But when you use the word "going", you relieve yourself from any kind of expectation, and you learn to accept that whatever happens, you'll be able to handle it and grow from the experience. Your inner-self will love you for doing so, as you learn to trust both your strengths and your weaknesses.

    I hope you had a wonderful day today at Church and at work as well Doolhof, and continue being awesome!

    Jt

  20. Doolhof
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    8 June 2021 in reply to jtjt_4862

    Hi Jt and all reading,

    It has been a long time since I have been able to run or even jog more than a few metres. I guess like all things, if I set my mind to it I could achieve more if I practiced and persevered. Walking is comfortable for me.

    I came across a saying yesterday : " You need to learn to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes everyday. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life...work on the mind." By Elizabeth Gilbert.

    This is an interesting concept. If we were all able to achieve this continually there would be no mental health issues I am assuming. Problem ids I for one am human and have a mind that isn't easily controlled. Yes, I can strive to accept my thoughts, change them and not entertain the negatives.

    Some days that is just darn hard work.

    Regarding to clothes selections, I don't always have that sorted either! Ha. Ha. Does any one else sometimes change 10 times before they walk out the door?

    Our minds are amazing in so many ways. Cheers all from Dools

  21. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
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    9 June 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    I need to practise "selecting my thoughts". I didn't do too well yesterday trying to keep hold of the positive thoughts when negatives seemed to rule.

    I have allowed the disappointments of yesterday to cloud my evening last night, my night's sleep and this morning I am struggling to get past feeling glum!

    Depression can be so debilitating, and can take over so quickly. I really need to find ways to get back on track and deal with this better. My resilience is low and the least little thing knocks me off my feet.

    I'm so lonely it is horrible. I've tried to make friends since we moved here but none of the friendships have lasted.

    My husband and I are both stressed out and struggle to talk civilly to each other most days.

    Visitors at work often yell at me. I work alone in my area.

    I'm surrounded by people but don't feel connected to anyone.

    My mind struggles to find meaning and purpose in a life where I struggle from one moment to next to make sense out of my existence.

    I'm finding it hard to pick myself up again.

  22. jtjt_4862
    jtjt_4862 avatar
    109 posts
    10 June 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi Doolhof,

    Depression certainly seems very debilitating, and I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. I'm here for you if you'd like to chat about it.

    Have you tried journaling? I found journaling to be very helpful when I wasn't feeling well myself.

    In your journal, you can write as much as you want, without anyone judging you. You could list down three things that you're grateful for each time you journal, and how were you feeling that day. As you build your journal, you can then turn back the pages to see how far you've come. When you're feeling low, you can look at pages where you were feeling positive and happy to remind yourself that there are those days, and you won't have to feel like this forever. Vice versa when you're feeling better, look back at pages where you weren't feeling well, and work out a few ways to cope with those times.

    I hope that may help you, always happy to listen to you Doolhof. You won't have to feel this way forever. Stay strong!

    Jt

  23. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
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    10 June 2021 in reply to jtjt_4862

    Hi Jt,

    Thanks so much. I used to journal frequently. Thanks for the reminder, I will try to write out more of what is going on in my head, like you mentioned, including the thoughts I am struggling with incorporated with the helpful, the good and the positive.

    I do have a gratitude journal I try to write in daily. Sometimes I skip a few days here and there.

    Very rarely do I go back and read anything I have written previously. I can see how reading, assessing and taking note of how I managed to get through a situation is beneficial.

    One thing that concerns me is just how quickly I can flip from I've got this to I'm drowning. Need to practise some deep breathing to slow the process down.

    A couple of days ago I saw the Dr who did one of those Anxiety Depression and Stress questionnaires. My anxiety levels have decreased, the other 2 were still up in the severe range. Need to keep working on those.

    Today I took off to the beach for awhile. I packed some lunch and a drink, had a nice walk and sat out of the wind to have my lunch. It was very peaceful.

    My gratitude journal will have a few entries in it from today.

    Thanks again for the encouragement. Hope you are doing okay and have many things to be grateful for as well.

    Cheers from Doolhof.

  24. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8400 posts
    17 June 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    Today I don't have anything listed in my diary.

    I'm planning to do some art and craft, not sure what that will be yet. Usually I just end up doing housework, gardening and other stuff I feel I have to do and neglect the pleasurable and fun things in life.

    Maybe I need to consider starting and especially completing task around the home and garden as being an achievement and not so much something I need to do.

    It really is all a matter of perspective isn't it!

    I need to keep reminding myself I can look at situations and moments in life in a different way that will make it more acceptable, pleasurable and beneficial.

    Wishing you all a productive day. Cheers from Dools

    2 people found this helpful
  25. quirkywords
    Community Champion
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    quirkywords avatar
    10631 posts
    17 June 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    Dools,

    if I had nothing in my diary it would worry me so then I make a list or two lists.

    I think that starting anything on days I am unmotivated is an achievement.

    THanks for sharing your thoughts here, dools as they do help me and others reading,.

    1 person found this helpful
  26. Ggrand
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    Ggrand avatar
    8440 posts
    17 June 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    Hello Dear Dools..

    Definitely doing house work, and gardening is an achievement...any little thing..even getting out of bed is an achievement when we are feeling so down...I have a thread title...”Small achievements you done today”...If you feel to read it, you’ll find some small achievements that people have done, when feeling down..it might help you a little...

    Please precious lady..don’t neglect the pleasurable things that you like to do....If you have a lot to do today or nothing at all to do...it’s important to find the time for you...a lovely walk, a pot of tea with a pretty cup and saucer, while reading an interesting book, or having a pencil and paper, while watching the clouds change shape and sketching them on the paper....Haha, clouds can make funny shapes sometimes....or is it my drawing..😁

    Craft is a lovely hobby...I have a small book box, that I bought years ago when I had a motivational moment..I was going to paint it..decorate it and use it to store some of my little treasures in....The motivational moment lasted until I got home...It’s still untouched sitting in my spare room on the book shelf 😂...

    What kind of craft do you like doing?...I started a diamond painting a week ago..it’s time consuming and takes me out of my mind and onto the diamond painting..

    I hope you find something nice to do for you today Dear Dools....

    My kind thoughts precious lady with my care and a warm hug..

    Grandy..

    2 people found this helpful
  27. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8400 posts
    18 June 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Hi Quirky and All,

    I'm going to try to return to the B.A.C.E. system of organising my days. I have the paper work on the table, so will actually start writing down ideas, suggestions and plans for how to fill in next weeks schedule.

    It is important to me that I am flexible as well and don't tell myself I need to adhere to the schedule, I can improvise, improve it and enhance my planned activities.

    Yesterday turned out to be an okay kind of a day, so no reason why today can't be the same or better!

    One thing I desire to do is to find ways to change negative thoughts into ones that are more acceptable, complimentary or user friendly!

    Cheers all from Dools.

  28. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8400 posts
    18 June 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi Dear Grandy,

    Thanks for dropping by and for your suggestions. I think I have seen the thread you mentioned, it does sound well worth a read. It is easy to dismiss and discredit the value of the activities and tasks we do manage to achieve.

    I realise I also need to appreciate doing a pleasurable activity for the sense of doing it. To find a sense of accomplishment in that as well, of joy and productivity maybe.

    Yesterday I dabbled with some paints. I started to watch an editorial on you tube. The lady painted a picture, then painted over it again and again. I didn't think I had that much paint available to me! Ha. Ha.

    My painting didn't turn out as I had desired. The process was fun though. I played around with some other paint and will use the pages I painted on in my scrapbook. If a painting is not as I had hoped, I then use a pen or texta other to highlight and enhance bits on it, or just doodle on parts of it.

    I have a paint by numbers which is taking a really long time to get anywhere with! Some of the sections to paint are so tiny I need a magnifying glass to see the numbers on the spaces! Ha. Ha. It is a test of patience.

    I have tried diamond painting and liked that. I'm just not sure what to do with the end product. I have a variety of unfinished projects in the cupboard. Maybe I could pull some of them out and complete them. I have some cross stitches in there as well and some quilting ideas.

    Some days I need a small project I can complete to feel like I have achieved something.

    Cheers all from Dools

  29. Learn to Fly
    Learn to Fly avatar
    18 posts
    18 June 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi Dools,

    Thank you for sharing. It seems like with each post you manage to tell us a few more positives that happened in your life. And you are so right: everything counts and taking baby steps can be as empowering as bigger jumps. I like the ideas of previous members: about writing a journal. I believe you mentioned you didn't go through what you'd written too often. How about making a dot of the colour of your choice next to each good thing that happened to you on a day? Hope the numbers of these 'positive' dots will start to grow for you.

    Take care there!

  30. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8400 posts
    19 June 2021 in reply to Learn to Fly

    Hi Learn to Fly,

    I'd like to welcome you to the community here on the forum. Thank yo so much for dropping by and commenting.

    I like your idea about using a dot to mark all the good things that happen.

    In the past I have had a journal for all the hurtful and negative stuff and one for the more uplifting, for things to be thankful for and more positive thoughts.

    I'm wondering if separating the thoughts that make me feel depressed and sad from those that are more encouraging, in some ways adds a greater negative undertone to those thoughts in turn making me feel less able to cope with stressor in life?

    Maybe writing in the one journal may be beneficial so I don't separate thoughts so much and judge myself for the negatives.

    Maybe I am just over analysing all of this!

    Anyway, Learn to Fly, I really like your point about highlighting the good things in life!

    Once again welcome, and I hope you are travelling okay in this journey of life.

    Cheers to you from Dools

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