I'm really glad you've found the forums, please open up here. It's a safe and supportive space.
I'm also very grateful that you have some MH professionals you can share with.
This is VERY important for your recovery.
If you're determined to recover you will.
I can see you beginning to recover in one single word you used... "crime".
YES this was a crime, one of the vilest imaginable.
You were a victim of this crime repeated on you.
This may sound like a simple separation but it's an important one.
Often victims of SA take responsibility for this crime. Perpetrators groom their victims to make them take responsibility.
100% responsibility lies with the criminal, 100% of the time and 100% forever.
You were a child.
Even if you were an adult and this happened, it would still not be your fault.
Please KNOW that you are not receiving negative attention.
You are receiving POSITIVE attention to help heal you for a very negative series of crimes that someone else did.
Like Grandy, Not_Batman and Geoff, I wish I could hug you right now and cry with you.
We are all with you in your journey.
There are people who care!
Crying is healing.
The 1800RESPECT Trauma Psychologists have been amazing for me and in turn my family who are trying to recover from extreme abuse and trauma, including the SA of my youngest daughter.
If you call, you can ask the Counsellor to put you through to a trauma psych ANY TIME of the day or night. 24/7/366.
Always here for you.
Take strength from us and those around you by knowing we all really care!
The only responsibility YOU need to take, is getting as much strength and power and moving forward in your healing journey.