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Forums / PTSD & Trauma / I've never told anyone my trauma *Trigger Warning: Sexual Assault*

Topic: I've never told anyone my trauma *Trigger Warning: Sexual Assault*

10 posts, 0 answered
  1. Don't_Mind_Me
    Don't_Mind_Me avatar
    11 posts
    24 August 2020

    Hi everyone, I'm Don't_Mind_me

    Wow, i really don't know how to start this post. I've never talked to anyone about my trauma, but if anyone here is willing to listen, i would really appreciate some support :)

    Let me know if you're willing to listen.

    -Don't_Mind_Me

  2. Aaronsis
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Aaronsis avatar
    2463 posts
    24 August 2020 in reply to Don't_Mind_Me

    Good Morning Don't_Mind_Me

    I am here, to listen and to sit with you through this time as you share your story.

    This is a really wonderful and supportive community and we would really like to help you to release your pain and to help you get through this trauma.

    I am here if you would like to share.

    Hugs to you

    Sarah

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Don't_Mind_Me
    Don't_Mind_Me avatar
    11 posts
    24 August 2020 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hi Aaronsis,

    Thank you so much for the reply :)

    *T.W sexually harassment*

    I've had a lot of traumatic events in my life- being hospitalized at 4, having an abusive parent, divorce and bullying. But there was one event when i was about 9, that has been really effecting me recently. And it was that a trusted teacher of mine, sexually harassed me.

    He was a P.E teacher, and we were doing a gymnastics unit. At first i didn't really pay attention to it, because it was just quiet comments about "How beautiful you are" and "How talented you are". But then it got slowly more obvious, and degrading. The comments were all over the place, one moment i was the most beautiful, talented person in the class, but the next i was "Like an old truck, that clunked around the gym"

    The comments slowly got more....sexual. Things like "You have a lovely structure" "Your legs are incredibly long" "You're so flexible" "You're maturing very fast"

    This slowly started to make me more and more uncomfortable, but i thought that i had twisted his words from how he meant them, he was, after all, a gymnastics teacher.

    But, then, the day that he was leaving. He decided to shoot his shot, and he groped me....in several places.

    I was nine years old, and my teacher sexually harassed me.

  4. Aaronsis
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Aaronsis avatar
    2463 posts
    24 August 2020 in reply to Don't_Mind_Me

    Thank you for sharing, that is so brave of you and it must have taken alot to be able to post those words and those feelings here.

    I am so so sorry that this happened to you, there are no words that can ever make it right. Taking advantage of anybody is horrendous but a child is just ..well I have no words really.

    Your PE teacher was very cunning and very calculated and as you can see by the pattern he groomed you, lead you into feeling safe, provided some feedback to make you feel good about yourself. This is the behaviour of someone with some very serious issues and I am just saddened to think that he left and left you with these scars, but potentially went to find other victims.

    I want you to know that you did nothing wrong, nothing at all. This was not and is not your fault and I am hoping that by talking and getting this out and off your chest you can make some peace with this..not for his sake...but for yours. Making peace with this does not minimize the crime and the trauma that was placed on you, it simply allows you to have the life you deserve, without carrying this around every day.

    There are some really wonderful support networks available and I will put one here that I think might help:

    https://www.blueknot.org.au/

    I understand that this might be really hard to talk about as you have not shared it before, but even if you prepare something written and read off it, or even read what you have put so bravely here to start with. That could provide a really great place to start.

    I am not sure of your age, you don't have to tell me but if you are under 25 Kids Helpline have some wonderful wonderful supports in place. I really like how they have a webchat service so that if you do struggle to chat you can connect with someone like you are here, I will put that link too:

    https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling

    I am really proud that you have spoken up today, it takes bravery and courage and I am so happy you are seeking healing for you, you deserve to live a happy and successful life without the trauma of this event.

    I hope to chat to you some more Don't_Mind_Me, we are here for you, to sit and to chat and to support and care for you, you are worth it.

    Hugs

    Sarah

    1 person found this helpful
  5. Don't_Mind_Me
    Don't_Mind_Me avatar
    11 posts
    24 August 2020 in reply to Aaronsis

    thank you so much for the support, and for the resources.

    It was very difficult for me to share this, and the fact that you have been so kind and supportive means the world to me :)

    1 person found this helpful
  6. Aaronsis
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Aaronsis avatar
    2463 posts
    24 August 2020 in reply to Don't_Mind_Me

    That is what we are here for, I am sure that there will be others that will come to support you too and to give some words of comfort and support.

    I hope that you feel like you can reach out to these support services, they really are wonderful and as I said before, you do not deserve to have the rest of your life impacted by the acts of this person, to harbor the pain and to feel the trauma you do.

    We are here anytime you would like to chat, we care.

    Hugs again

    Sarah

    1 person found this helpful
  7. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6620 posts
    24 August 2020 in reply to Don't_Mind_Me
    Hi Don't_Mind_Me,
    I would like to echo Aaronsis' reply that it must have taken an incredible amount of strength for you to open up and speak about what had happened, and that what had happened to you was awful and something that nobody should ever go through.

    I'm glad to see that you've had a positive experience with our forums and I hope that you can continue to get the support you need and deserve here. In the meantime, we would also like to check in with you to see how you are going, and will be reaching out privately through email as well.
    1 person found this helpful
  8. Unknown User
    Unknown User avatar
    5 posts
    26 August 2020 in reply to Don't_Mind_Me

    Hi @Don't_Mind_Me

    I have been in a very similar situation as you. When I realised that I'm not the only one with PTSD, sexually assaulted, and have abusive, controlling parents - I felt horrified that other people are experiencing the pain I've gone through.

    I wasn't as young as you, but I have been harassed by a few teachers. They didn't assault me, but a classmate's brother did when I was 16. I wasn't dating him, nor ever interested in him. Rape is an awful trauma, and no child should go through that.

    I came here not only to ask for help, but I also came here to support others going through this. It's painful to look see my laptop screen, but I'm pushing through so I can help others. I'm here to talk if you want.

    1 person found this helpful
  9. Don't_Mind_Me
    Don't_Mind_Me avatar
    11 posts
    27 August 2020 in reply to Unknown User

    I am absolutely applauded to here that you had to got through that.

    It disgusts me that people think that they have a right to others bodies, and that they don't think about the trauma that it causes.

    Are you still in contact with this person who's brother it was? If so then I would recommend cutting ties. Getting away from the person and everything that reminds you of them is the first step to healing.

  10. heids02
    heids02 avatar
    2 posts
    4 September 2020 in reply to Don't_Mind_Me
    You're incredibly strong for sharing your story, and i can imagine how hard it was for you. I have also been sexually assaulted, not at such a young age, but i can try to begin to understand how this affects you and i'm so sorry that you had to go through that. It continually disgusts me that people think they have the right to others bodies.

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