Thank you for sharing, that is so brave of you and it must have taken alot to be able to post those words and those feelings here.
I am so so sorry that this happened to you, there are no words that can ever make it right. Taking advantage of anybody is horrendous but a child is just ..well I have no words really.
Your PE teacher was very cunning and very calculated and as you can see by the pattern he groomed you, lead you into feeling safe, provided some feedback to make you feel good about yourself. This is the behaviour of someone with some very serious issues and I am just saddened to think that he left and left you with these scars, but potentially went to find other victims.
I want you to know that you did nothing wrong, nothing at all. This was not and is not your fault and I am hoping that by talking and getting this out and off your chest you can make some peace with this..not for his sake...but for yours. Making peace with this does not minimize the crime and the trauma that was placed on you, it simply allows you to have the life you deserve, without carrying this around every day.
There are some really wonderful support networks available and I will put one here that I think might help:
I understand that this might be really hard to talk about as you have not shared it before, but even if you prepare something written and read off it, or even read what you have put so bravely here to start with. That could provide a really great place to start.
I am not sure of your age, you don't have to tell me but if you are under 25 Kids Helpline have some wonderful wonderful supports in place. I really like how they have a webchat service so that if you do struggle to chat you can connect with someone like you are here, I will put that link too:
I am really proud that you have spoken up today, it takes bravery and courage and I am so happy you are seeking healing for you, you deserve to live a happy and successful life without the trauma of this event.
I hope to chat to you some more Don't_Mind_Me, we are here for you, to sit and to chat and to support and care for you, you are worth it.