Hi,I'm new to this,so please bare with me..
I'm a 40yr old widow,with children. I'm also one of 8 children. I was sexually abused from 7-15 by my Vietnam Veteran 'father'. As were my siblings..I left home at 15yrs young,to be safe and not feel scared anymore. I ended up being a ward of the state,and was fortunately placed with a lovely family. I stayed with them until I was 17..I left the state angered that despite disclosing to my mother everything that happened,she didn't believe me..yet..Then I met my future husband and partner of our 4 beautiful children. It started off seemingly good,but when all you've known is abuse, violence and exposure to zero communication skills,nor boundary setting. You don't realise being abused is not 'normal'..I stayed with him for 12yrs,through his cheating/gambling/drinking(father was also an alcoholic)/manipulation/drug abuse/mental instability. Because I was taught"good girls don't cause a fuss" "he's probably had a bad day" and so on....
I tolerated it as long as I possibly could,to the point it nearly killed me.. LITERALLY..he strangled me in front of our eldest. That was the final straw..I seperated from him..he threatened me with killing himself if I didn't take him back..
1 week later he completed suicide,and SENT ME A VIDEO of him doing it..
It's been 10 yrs since that day,I lost my house/my hopes/nearly everything. And had a nervous breakdown.
My kids are now adults and still struggle with severe PTSD and trauma. And I've recently been diagnosed with throat cancer.. Despite my positive attitude.. someone please tell me this gets easier..
Sorry for my rant